No that is actually brilliant idea I read all the stories its never been done and so many users say they suck then end up writing brilliant stories I suck too just for bit of fun talent is not requirement here lol
I'm not one for writing,I suck at it,but has anyone made a story that follows a walker? It could be interesting if someone could pull it off,I haven't looked through the whole thread to see so if it has been done then sorry.
Summary
Loved this you have a great imagination dragon really interesting read. This chapter again kept the mystery element so I enjoy… moreed reading the whole thing as I never knew what was going to happen next but was also dying to found out brilliant writing. The grammar spotted no mistakes, the descriptions always felt in the moment and never got lost in the story. I'm really looking forward to see what happens next thanks for quality story dragon
Cool take your time we need the best story ever written also thank you for what you have written already and I'm really excited to read the rest when your finished :)
Did this for a thread asking to pretend to be Nick Breckon and come up with the most stupid story you could so wrote this mini story taught might as well share as longer then I expected it to be. and apologize for lack of bold etc pain writing this without being able to use all the feature
Most stupid story I could think of lol
Written by Nick Breckon
Kenny and Clem were about to enter Carvers camp to save Ben who they heard he might still be alive
Kenny turns to Clem and whispers overlooking the camp to remain hidden
Kenny: "We need to save Ben I heard they locked him up"
Clem: "Who?"
Kenny: "That Shitbird!!"
Clem: "Alright"
Kenny: "You stay here and watch me I'm going to look so badass with my new stache"
Clem: "I preferred the old stache"
(?) Kenny will remember that
Kenny: "F*** YOUR NEVER THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU SH** TYPICAL ALWAYS SIDE WITH OLD STACHE TAUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!!"
(?) Clem appears to not give a sh**
Clem: "Jesus bro someone disagrees with you always same thing aint no one got time for that"
Kenny relaxes and runs into the camp shooting wildly with an AK 47 was beautiful sight seeing his beard blowing in the winter air everything was going in slow motion basically lots of stuff and thangs were happening till noise attracted a horde of Walkers. Clem could only watch from the bush in a blink of an eye Kenny was ripped apart by the horde like a happy meal his stache was like the toy to the walkers untouched to be saved for a special occasion.
Carver and his men suddenly appeared with machine guns as drama died down and zombies soon turned and headed toward Clem
Carver: "Come out Clem you think you can foil our plan and save Ben his ours"
Clem: "You can keep him"
Carver: "Hahaha your begging will not save Ben you see Ben is our most deadly weapon we implant him in rivals groups and he always delivers in getting them all indirectly killed his more powerful weapon than a nuclear bomb"
Clem: "I never asked"
Carver: "Stop crying now little girl you will be with your parents soon first we will let the walkers rip you apart if you survive than we will leave you in a room full of mirrors you will be watching yourself as you slowly turn into a walker I'm like a perfect bond villains muahahahahaha"
The 4 walkers closed in soon Clem would be tortured and killed she slowly removed her pistol from her pocket it only had 5 bullets
Carver: "Yes my minions I GUESS THEIR DYING TO SEE YOU". (carver then eye f***s the camera)
Clem simply glares at the walkers a look she since mastered and looks at Carver while shooting her pistol smiling BANG BANG BANG BANG 4 clears headshots killing all the walkers Clem like cold killer didn't even blink
Carver: "Impressive I don't kill little girls I'll make sure you get bitten first then I'll shot you in the head when your a walker get her boys"
A Gang of carver's men were coming toward Clem she had no chance as she only had one bullet left
Clem: "Wait ever play Russian roulette Carver?"
Carver:"No more games KILL HER!!"
Clem put her last bullet in the cylinder and twisted it and aimed it for Carvers head
Carver: "HA!! waste your last bullet on me you still will end up dead my gang will shoot you in the head before you even pull the trigger"
Clem: "Lee taught me to never waste bullets and THAT'S NOT NICE!!"
Clem pressed the trigger and moved the gun away from Carver and aimed for the petrol tank within the camp BANG was all so beautiful like fireworks display they were all killed instantly everything was going in slow motion as carver and his gang got eaten up and spitted out as ash by the blast the bright colours was like a rainbow to Clem who laughed through all the chaos with a smile. Clem looked in silence at the battlefield she could only hear the cold air as ash rained down. Suddenly she spotted a figure walking through the flames.
Clem: "KENNY? but how you were ripped apart and was in the middle of the blast"(as tears rolled down her face as she hugged him tightly)
Kenny: "I JUST GOT LUCKY" (eye f***s the camera)
Ben suddenly appeared in front on them this was the moment time seemed to stop, the sun started to shine brighter and the birds started to sing. Tears rolled down his face seeing Clem and Kenny this moment was the moment what kept him fighting through everyday was like destiny they would met again.
Kenny: "Hey Ben"
Ben: "You saved me I knew I was loved"(Crying on his knees)
Clem: "See ya"
They never saw Ben again and lived happily ever after
No that is actually brilliant idea I read all the stories its never been done and so many users say they suck then end up writing brilliant stories I suck too just for bit of fun talent is not requirement here lol
This was a LONG overdue review that you asked me to do for your TWD/TLOU crossover. You probably forgot, but nonetheless, sorry for putting this off for a while.
I like this. I've been waiting to see a crossover like this and you did not disappoint. Also, clever move using the fan art to help tell your story. THAT BEING SAID...
My only issue with your story however is this: If Clementine and Ellie got along so well, why couldn't Lee and Joel? It just seemed unreasonable for them to act hostile towards each other when their respective kids got along almost instantly.
Thanks for the review glad you enjoyed it. Clem and Ellie are girls of around the same age with same experiences I always imagined them as a great team. The reason Lee and Joel didn't get along in my head lol was because their both alpha males and lone wolfs only people they trust are Clem/Ellie anyone deemed powerful enough to potentially threaten the kids are deemed a threat. Plus if look both their games story's they lost everyone they love only reason they have to live and fight through each day are their girls. Even if the girls got along lee/joel have experienced to much pain and suffering because of trusting people so never could.
Plus from story arc point of view if whole story everyone was friends just seems clique and cheesy way to go about it. As writer it was fun get my points about each characters motives and showing the weaknesses of that mentality whether your driven by morals or not
But if notice from story arc twist are start Clem/Ellie are friends and Joel/Lee are enemies but at the end it's complete twist around with Clem/Ellie as enemies and Lee/Joel as friends etc.
Yeah thanks for noticing the pictures was very technical with the selection the main reasons were to break up the story as cool for the reader and give reader a visual representation of the chapter enforcing the message I'm trying to get across and help reader picture the events
This was a LONG overdue review that you asked me to do for your TWD/TLOU crossover. You probably forgot, but nonetheless, sorry for putting … morethis off for a while.
I like this. I've been waiting to see a crossover like this and you did not disappoint. Also, clever move using the fan art to help tell your story. THAT BEING SAID...
My only issue with your story however is this: If Clementine and Ellie got along so well, why couldn't Lee and Joel? It just seemed unreasonable for them to act hostile towards each other when their respective kids got along almost instantly.
Thanks for the review glad you enjoyed it. Clem and Ellie are girls of around the same age with same experiences I always imagined them as a… more great team. The reason Lee and Joel didn't get along in my head lol was because their both alpha males and lone wolfs only people they trust are Clem/Ellie anyone deemed powerful enough to potentially threaten the kids are deemed a threat. Plus if look both their games story's they lost everyone they love only reason they have to live and fight through each day are their girls. Even if the girls got along lee/joel have experienced to much pain and suffering because of trusting people so never could.
Plus from story arc point of view if whole story everyone was friends just seems clique and cheesy way to go about it. As writer it was fun get my points about each characters motives and showing the weaknesses of that mentality whether your driven by morals or not
But if notice from story arc twis… [view original content]
Clementine and Ellie yes like cheesy 80's action film but it was badass lol when first wrote that planning it to be very dark maybe even torture involved but loved characters so much even writing mean things against them angered me that's why it most of the scenes they always have the edge even when threatened thanks
Ps: Also big fan of your work think your very talented writer I'm honored you enjoyed it btw
Also, I've put my 16 Months series on hold until Episode 3 comes out. If Christa does show up, we might get an indication of what happened to the baby.
Thanks for the review glad you enjoyed it. Clem and Ellie are girls of around the same age with same experiences I always imagined them as a… more great team. The reason Lee and Joel didn't get along in my head lol was because their both alpha males and lone wolfs only people they trust are Clem/Ellie anyone deemed powerful enough to potentially threaten the kids are deemed a threat. Plus if look both their games story's they lost everyone they love only reason they have to live and fight through each day are their girls. Even if the girls got along lee/joel have experienced to much pain and suffering because of trusting people so never could.
Plus from story arc point of view if whole story everyone was friends just seems clique and cheesy way to go about it. As writer it was fun get my points about each characters motives and showing the weaknesses of that mentality whether your driven by morals or not
But if notice from story arc twis… [view original content]
Also, I've put my 16 Months series on hold until Episode 3 comes out. If Christa does show up, we might get an indication of what happened to the baby.
Did this for a thread asking to pretend to be Nick Breckon and come up with the most stupid story you could so wrote this mini story taught … moremight as well share as longer then I expected it to be. and apologize for lack of bold etc pain writing this without being able to use all the feature
Most stupid story I could think of lol
Written by Nick Breckon
Kenny and Clem were about to enter Carvers camp to save Ben who they heard he might still be alive
Kenny turns to Clem and whispers overlooking the camp to remain hidden
Kenny: "We need to save Ben I heard they locked him up"
Clem: "Who?"
Kenny: "That Shitbird!!"
Clem: "Alright"
Kenny: "You stay here and watch me I'm going to look so badass with my new stache"
Clem: "I preferred the old stache"
(?) Kenny will remember that
Kenny: "F*** YOUR NEVER THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU SH** TYPICAL ALWAYS SIDE WITH OLD STACHE TAUGHT YOU WERE MY FR… [view original content]
Did this for a thread asking to pretend to be Nick Breckon and come up with the most stupid story you could so wrote this mini story taught … moremight as well share as longer then I expected it to be. and apologize for lack of bold etc pain writing this without being able to use all the feature
Most stupid story I could think of lol
Written by Nick Breckon
Kenny and Clem were about to enter Carvers camp to save Ben who they heard he might still be alive
Kenny turns to Clem and whispers overlooking the camp to remain hidden
Kenny: "We need to save Ben I heard they locked him up"
Clem: "Who?"
Kenny: "That Shitbird!!"
Clem: "Alright"
Kenny: "You stay here and watch me I'm going to look so badass with my new stache"
Clem: "I preferred the old stache"
(?) Kenny will remember that
Kenny: "F*** YOUR NEVER THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU SH** TYPICAL ALWAYS SIDE WITH OLD STACHE TAUGHT YOU WERE MY FR… [view original content]
Kenny spun around. Further down the street, a frighteningly large amount of walkers had begun to make their way towards the two men, slowly but steadily. More and more of them seemed to accumulate by the second, coming out of shadows or around corners, one even fell from a rooftop with a resounding bang. "Oh, shit!" Ben exclaimed, scrambling to get to his feet. Kenny helped him up, holding him up by one arm. "We have to run, Ben!" Ben looked momentarily unsure, conflicted between the approaching slaughter fest and his own still fatal injury. "But-" " It's alright kid, i'l carry ya! " Kenny responded. Kenny, was carrying Ben under his arm, as they were running away from the horde of Walkers. The walkers were slow, but there was a lot of them. Ben was panting very loudly, and Kenny had to keep slowing down in order to not lose him. The older man glanced behind them again. They were a good few yards away from the walkers, but more and more of the fuckers seemed to keep accumulating, like bacteria. They all followed each other towards their prey. Kenny slid to a stop, the gravel crunching under his close-to-destroyed sneakers. Ben was looking close to tears with relief that he didn't have to keep running. The teenager swallowed convulsively, then he gagged suddenly and leaned forward like he was about to throw up. Kenny placed a hand firmly on the kid's back, keeping his eyes anxiously on the approaching undead behind them. "Ben, can you make it?" He asked urgently, leaning down to try and catch Ben's eyes, but they were clenched tightly shut. Ben coughed wetly into his hand, the force of his hacking making his body shake and look like it was about to give up on him. When Ben removed his hand, Kenny saw red splattered across it. Kenny snatched up his wrist, looking at the blood in shock. "Shit, shit, shit," He growled, feeling on the verge of a panic attack as he looked back at the walkers again before stepping in front of Ben and hauling him into his arms, cradling him like an extremely over grown baby so as not to put any strain on his torn open wound. Ben clutched tightly onto the neckline of Kenny's shirt, until his bony knuckles were bleached white. "Kenny, you can't..." He began, but Kenny told him to shut the fuck up and started to run again. Kenny ran and ran until his legs were burning and numb, until he reached the edge of town and broke free from the surrounding houses that kept him caged in with all those god damn walkers. With a heavy grunt, he laid Ben down on the grass (almost dropped him really), straightening up and staring around.
They seemed to have just gotten free of the neighbourhood. A little ways down was a small gate that curved along the houses, probably leading to the waterfront where they could possibly find Lee and the rest. At least Kenny hoped. And dearly. Kenny bent down so that he was crouching next to Ben. He reached over and rubbed the teenager's shoulder, hoping that he would be okay for more walking, which they probably should be doing sooner rather than later. That group of walkers would eventually find them again if they remained in the same place for too long. "Hey, Ben, you still there?" Kenny spoke softly, quietly. Ben grunted, pushing himself to sit up. He winced sharply, squeezing his eyes shut. "Still here," he replied through his clenched teeth. Kenny breathed a small sigh, though he's not sure if it's from relief or fatigue. Probably both. "We have to move, or those walkers are gonna swarm us. Rip us apart." Ben nodded, swallowing loudly. "Right... Can you help me up?" Kenny reached under Ben's arms, hauling him slowly to his feet. Ben swore vehemently before clamming up again. Kenny held onto the kid's upper body, making sure to keep him stable. Ben teetered for a moment before gaining a precarious balance. Kenny reached up his free arm to point to the railing that he'd spotted earlier. "See down th- you okay? alright- see down there? We can go on down there an' you can hold onto the rail to keep your balance better, that alright?" Ben nodded again, holding tightly onto the fabric at the back of Kenny's shirt. "Alright, okay, okay... Everything's okay," Kenny rambled. "Okay. I'm pretty sure that rail will lead us to the waterfront, where we were headin' back when we were with Lee and them. I'm sure that if they're there, we'll find 'em." Kenny rubbed Ben's back, a silent reassurance, though he didn't even believe himself. "An' if not, then I guess...it's just you and me." After a few beats of silence, Ben mumbled something under his breath. Ben lifted his head. "It's you and I, not you and me." Kenny blinked. "Shut the fuck up, Ben. I was tryin' to create a moment." Ben smirked weakly. "Sorry." "C'mon, let's go...Shitbird. " Kenny sighted.
Kenny began to walk slowly, making sure that Ben could keep up with each step. The two of them slowly traversed the bare, stretching grass until they reached the rail. Ben clutched onto it, sighing in relief. Kenny let him walk on his own, but stayed right by his side. The view over the railing was a mote that opened up into a large, shimmering lake. The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon, setting the sky on fire. The glowing sphere was slightly hidden behind a large road bridge, which was extremely far away, and one could already tell from looking that it didn't lead to this side of the expansive lake. Ben made a soft sound in the back of his throat. "It's so... nice," he ended lamely. Kenny could understand that it was probably difficult to be enthusiastic about the fucking sunset during an apocalypse. Kenny shook his head slowly. He agreed however, that the multiple colours that the sky was turning were undoubtedly beautiful, if somewhat... blinding to his older eyes. "It ain't gonna be pretty for long," he replied instead, turning his eyes to the grass in front of them. "Once the sun goes down, we'll barely be able t' see." Ben looked at Kenny snappishly, his eyes widening. "But the lights from the town will help, right? They're still on and working." Kenny sighed tiredly. "I don't know if they'll help while we're all the way out here, Ben.." He looked at Ben, who's eyes were scared. He began to regret what he'd just said. "They might, though. And we have a trail to follow, so I'm sure it'll be fine." Ben nodded slowly, turning back to the setting sun, his expression somewhat pleading now as he stared at it. Kenny couldn't understand how his eyes weren't irritated from that... his own vision was already spotted black just from a glance. They continued walking in silence, mostly listening for any signs of walkers nearby. After somewhere in between five an ten minutes of this, Ben began to cough again, slapping a dirt-slicked hand over his mouth. His coughs sounded scratchy and wet, and it made Kenny feel ill just listening. He patted Ben's back, waiting for him to pull up again. When the teenager removed his hand from his face, there was fresh blood splattered over his hand.
"Shit, Ben." Kenny clenched his jaw. Ben looked miserable. He was gaunter than Kenny had ever seen him, paler too. "I'm dying," Ben said hopelessly. "You're not, you just need treatment for that fuckin' wound," Kenny kept himself from snarling the words. Ben swallowed, licking his lips. They turned red under his bloody tongue's attention. "I don't know, Kenny... I feel really light headed right now." Kenny stopped in his tracks, turning quickly. "Why didn't you tell me, you fucking idiot!" he growled. Ben shied away, gripping the rail with both hands now. "I've been feeling like this since I woke up in that kitchen. It's just getting much stronger now." Kenny growled again, this time wordlessly, and slumped down into the grass, leaning against the railing. "You're losing blood. Here, let me fix up the dressing on your wound, make sure it's holding it together." Ben bit his lip. He glanced away. His eyes suddenly widened, and he turned fully towards the direction he was looking. "Kenny, I think I see the waterfront!" Kenny started, sitting up straight and peering down the lakeside. Sure enough, down the way there was a long line of boats that neither of them had seen before, and the lake was gradually widening the further down it went. "Fuck. We have to get there before the sun is gone." Kenny got back onto his feet. "Think you can make it there, Ben? Then we'll see how your injury is holding up." Ben nodded vigorously. "Yes, definitely. I just don't wanna be out in the open anymore. Let's go." And so they went, post-haste.
By the time they reached the waterfront, there was only a sliver of sun visible in the sky, and the rays that it was emitting were slowly dying out. Ben nearly collapsed when they finally reached a wooden bench, falling back onto it and letting out a huff of air. Kenny dropped down next to him, telling him to pull up his tee. Ben did, and Kenny checked the dressing that he had created out of Ben's sweater sleeves. The fabric was soaked through where the wound was, and had loosened a lot since it had been placed. Kenny removed the filthy dressing, turning it over and pulling a rag out of his pocket that he had brought from the kitchen. He wiped off some specks of dirt that had gotten on the outside of the dressing, then pressed an unbloodied area of the cloth back to Ben's wound. Ben hissed loudly, gripping the bench until his knuckles went white. "Sorry Ben, sorry," Kenny apologized quickly, tying the dressing tight, making sure it was secure. Ben shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright...There we go." Kenny sighed with relief as Ben pulled his shirt back down, tucking his vest tightly around his body. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, looking around the waterfront for any signs of human activity. A breeze had begun to pick up as they had drawn closer to the waterfront, and was now biting at Kenny's exposed face. Ben shivered next to him, rubbing his bare arms. They sat for a while longer in silence, then Kenny stood up, casting his gaze all around before the last sliver of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Kenny shook his head gently. "Guess nobody's here." Ben nodded, standing up as well, stepping close to Kenny as he took a look around himself. "We shouldn't stay out here, right?" Kenny shrugged, but he could feel himself beginning to tense as the moon began to brighten in the sky, and it became harder to see. There was only the dull glow coming from the town. "We should probably find shelter... but it seems safe enough out here. Not a walker in sight. They're all drawn to the lights and noises of the town." Kenny looked at Ben, silently asking if he was okay with staying by the waterfront. Ben swallowed, his teeth shattering audibly. "Y-y-yeah, alr-right..." He hugged himself tighter. Kenny looked around again. "I'll keep watch, okay? But you gotta get up in a few hours so I can get some sleep. We can't risk going back into town but neither can we risk sleeping and going unnoticed if Lee and them pass us by." "I could take watch first-" Ben started. "No, no way Ben. You're practically dying for fuck's sake. Just get some rest, you idiot." Ben pressed his lips together. He looked emotionally hurt, like a kicked puppy. Kenny fought from rolling his eyes, but he felt a pang of regret for hurting the kid's feelings. He seemed to be regretting a lot of things that he said to Ben recently. Not that he was about to say sorry. Ben curled up on the bench, which wasn't nearly long enough for his legs. He wrapped himself into a loose ball and closed his eyes. He looked anything but comfortable but it cradled him better the ground probably would. Kenny sat down in the grass a few feet from the bench, and waited for whatever was out there, be it Lee or more walkers, the moonlight casting and eerie, colour-leached glow on everything around him.
The next chapter of my epic Fanfic " The Stache and the Shitbird " will be the last one, so brace yourselves!
Will Ben survive, will Kenny find Lee and Clem (And a fucking boat) again, will there be Walkers...all this questions and many more will probaply be answered!
Spoiler Alert: Super soon, just around the corner!!!
Before start the summary at first sight of the chapter loved the length and really appreciate you taking the time to write such long chapter as realize from writing myself this took you ages and in my opinion even though rest were quality this is the best chapter so far
Summary
You kept tension high from the start really on the edge of my seat reading this whole thing so entertaining. Was very long but because the story was so good actually felt really short an accomplishment not many writers can achieve. Mixed up the themes Action, horror, comedy etc really enjoyed it this chapter had everything. Felt the descriptions were superb really felt in the moment always seem to pick right words to set a scene and could picture every scene perfectly in my head. Action from the start to the end perfect for me as already build foundation for the story in first few chapters so action seemed more badass and epic. Loved all the bad language. Realistic within TWD universe. The fact went down realistic path not have kenny take down horde with his stache lol you could actually feel the hopelessness and the constant danger as you showed weak side of kenny running away with ben and constant fight to save him like TWD he seems to lose every battle he faces constantly facing impossible challenges but gets little wins every now and again just beautiful also had so much heart
Ps. Shut the fuck up, Ben. I was tryin' to create a moment had me lmao for about 10 minutes well played
Overall
Beautiful chapter had everything well done stache this was unbelieveable one of the best chapters I ever read very talented writer you just seems to be getting better and better every chapter
Rating
Never rate a chapter till a stories done but because it's so long and put so much effort in
The Stache and the Shitbird - Part5:
Kenny spun around. Further down the street, a frighteningly large amount of walkers had begun to m… moreake their way towards the two men, slowly but steadily. More and more of them seemed to accumulate by the second, coming out of shadows or around corners, one even fell from a rooftop with a resounding bang. "Oh, shit!" Ben exclaimed, scrambling to get to his feet. Kenny helped him up, holding him up by one arm. "We have to run, Ben!" Ben looked momentarily unsure, conflicted between the approaching slaughter fest and his own still fatal injury. "But-" " It's alright kid, i'l carry ya! " Kenny responded. Kenny, was carrying Ben under his arm, as they were running away from the horde of Walkers. The walkers were slow, but there was a lot of them. Ben was panting very loudly, and Kenny had to keep slowing down in order to not lose him. The older man glanced behind them again. They were a good few yards away… [view original content]
lol but your so talented even if don't try still be best story ever though no pressure love story's along as it's a story I'll be delighted thanks for deciding to write one
See, 'cause bumps like you, the good bumps, they always die. And the bad bumps do, too. But the weak bumps, the bumps like me...we have inherited the earth.
See, 'cause bumps like you, the good bumps, they always die. And the bad bumps do, too. But the weak bumps, the bumps like me...we have inherited the earth.
I have decided to repost my fanfic in it's entirety now that it is complete. I apologise for any grammatical problems and misspelling and I know there is some pacing problems as well.
Forlorn Hope
Jody awoke to a banging on her door, “what is it” she replied, “it's James I need to talk to you it's important” he said firmly. Jody walked to the door and opened it part way “ what is it James the sun isn't even up yet” she replied softly through the partially opened door, “Have you got your torch and gun? I was doing my rounds and found a hole in the wall around the property we need to find what made it quickly!” He said in a stern voice, “holy shit, have you checked on Tracy yet?!” Jody replied while grabbing her torch and gun from under her bed. “Yes she's fine, I checked on her on my way here, I told her to lock her door and stay quiet” “thank god! Okay what's the plan? Have you told the others?” She replied as they left the room and started to make their way to the front door of the farmhouse. “Yes Spencer and Samantha are checking inside the house, Hamish is going to meet us at the front door. I told everyone that if something happens give out a yell so we can find them.” (They made their way to the front door of the farmhouse to meet Hamish)
“Where the fuck is Hamish, he should be here” James said loudly as they arrived at the front door of the farmhouse “I dont hear any yelling so he can't be too far away, besides I want to check on Tracy before we check the yard.” Jody replied. “she is 17 years old, im sure your daughter will be fine in a locked room besides we need to” before James could finish his sentance he was interupted by a loud scream coming from inside the house. “Fuck that sounds like Samantha we have to find her!” James yelled “ I think it came from the dining room!” Jody replied. As the two rushed to the dining room they heard what sounded like a fight and more yelling, when they entered they saw Samantha wrestling with a Zombie. James quickly grabbed the hammer from his belt and smashed it over the head, much to the relief of Samantha. “Where the fuck is Spencer you were supposed to stick together!” James said loudly to Samantha. “He went to go and get Tracy” Samantha replied “son of a bitch!” Jody said as Spencer and Tracy come through the door “you piece of shit , I told you to stay the hell away from my daughter!” Jody barked at Spencer. “It's ok mum Spencer just thought I could help!” Tracy replied to Jody “yeah I bet Spencer thought he could do a lot of things!” Jody said Back to Tracy while glaring at Spencer. “Look i'm sorry Jody but we need all hands on deck for this and your daughter is almost 18!” Spencer replied “Shut the fuck up” James barked at everyone “This isn't important, we need to figure out how this fucking Lurker got inside the house and if there are more skulking about. And have you all forgotten about the hole in the wall and where the hell is Hamish!?” James continued.
“James is right we have to find Hamish that should be the first priority, but we have to stick together!” Samantha said in a confident voice, to which the group agreed. The group silently checked the house from top to bottom looking for Hamish but found no sign of him, the tension was so thick you could cut with a knife, with each of them worried about Hamish. As they arrived at the front of the house their was no sign of any more Lurkers, but the same could be said of Hamish. “Hamish are you out there!” Samantha yelled, but was quickly hushed by the rest of the group “do you really think it's a good idea for us to attract the attention of any roamers with a hole in the fence!?” James asked Samantha “what the hell is going on? First a hole in the fence then Hamish goes missing and a Lurker gets in the house!?” Spencer says to which Jody replies “since when have you cared what happens to us?” To which Spencer replies “Holy shit Jody, give me a break, when are you going to trust me!?” “I will start to trust you when you stop staring at my daughter!” Jody said in a harsh tone. “Mum Stop it!” Tracy said to Jody in a stern voice, James interrupted the argument. “Shut up both of you, we need to find Hamish not argue over bullshit!” James said in a commanding voice. “Your right James, i'm sorry” Jody answered. “We can't see him from the deck and we can't yell out to find him so we will have to circle the house” Samantha said calmly to the rest of the group, to which they agreed. (By this time the sun had started to peak over the horizon so they turned their torches off and started to walk around the house). They slowly walked around the house in a clockwise rotation looking for any sign of Hamish until they got to the hole in the fence. “This doesn't make any sense, Hamish wouldn't have just left” Samantha said with a slight tinge of sadness in her voice. “I'm sorry Sam I know you and him were close” Jody said with a sympathetic tone. James had a closer inspection of the fence in the sunlight (it was a basic fence made mostly out of fence posts wire and and a bit of sheet metal) after investigating the hole in the fence James said “hey guys Lurkers didn't knock this over, the wire has been cut!”
“What!” Jody replied in a stunned voice. “Like I said, look at the wire it has been cut cleanly in a row down the fence!” James replied. “But why would someone do this?” Samantha asked in a worried voice. (as Samantha was speaking James noticed some torn dark blue cloth on the wire lying on the ground) “what is it?” Jody asked “there is some dark blue cloth that has been torn on the wire! What was Hamish wearing Sam?” James asked. “He was wearing a dark blue shirt! But it can't be from Hamish, Hamish is fine, he has to be!” Samantha replied. (Seeing that Samantha was clearly upset by the dissapearence of Hamish Jody decided that samantha should go inside and sit down) “Hey Trace the house is clear can you go inside with Sam?” Jody asked politely. “Bullshit I need to be here, we need to look for Hamish!” Samantha replied sharply. “Mum you need to stop treating me like a child i'm almost 18!” Tracy added. “Sam we will look for Hamish but for now you need you to go inside, Tracy please just do what I say” Jody replied. “Look this is all very touching but it isn't getting Hamish back, I vote we all go and look for him” Spencer added in a sarcastic tone. (James then smacked Spencer over the back of the head) “show some respect son!” James said to spencer in a commanding voice. “Fuck you old man, don't touch me!” Spencer said back to James in an arrogant tone. “What did I say?” James asked in a frustrated tone. “Are you alright Sam?” Jody asked. “I am, I will be, maybe you're right maybe I should go inside and sit down for a bit” (Samantha and Tracy then go back inside leaving Spencer James and Jody outside.) “James you used to be a cop what do you make of this?” Jody asked. “You want my opinion? Okay, this doesn't make a lot of sense but I think an intruder cut the wire snuck in attacked Hamish dragged him away and let Lurkers into the house.” James said in a worried tone. “That's the best you could come up with?” Spencer added in a sarcastic tone. “I don't see you coming up with a better idea!” Jody added. “Okay here's one, Hamish cut the wire lured the Lurker inside and then left!” Spencer added. “You're an idiot, you don't like Hamish so you're blaming him for this while he isn't around to defend himself. If he is suspect so are you Spencer!” Jody said angrily. “Okay guys we don't have any options, some of us have to leave to look for him!” James stated.
“Wait, why don't we all go?” Spencer asked James. “We can't all go, somebody has to hold down the fort while were gone!” James replied. “But why does it matter?” Spencer asked “for all we know whoever took Hamish might luring us into a trap so if we all leave the house when we get back they might ambush us” James replied. “But they might be ambush us as soon as we leave!” Spencer stated. “Wait didn't you say you thought Hamish was responsible for the hole in the fence and the Lurker in the house?” Jody replied. (James interupted) “okay guys enough talking, we got shit to do. Okay, you two and I are going to look for Hamish. Sam and Tracy are going to stay behind, and don't worry Jody us three are going to carry only the weapons we need, Tracy will be armed to the teeth!” James declared. “Hmmm ok well we better let them know” Jody replied. (Spencer Jody and James walked to the house to inform Tracy and Samantha of the plan. As they walked into the house Samantha and Tracy were sitting at the dinner table although they weren't talking to each other) “okay guys this is the plan, Sam your mum Spencer and I are going to leave to look for Hamish. We should only been gone a day or so, hopefully, we are only going to take the weapons we need. You two will have a small arsenal, if anybody other than us tries to get in blow their brains out, oh and try not to make too much noise there is still a hole in the fence!” James said to Tracy and Samantha. “I guess we don't have a lot of choice, please mum don't do anything stupid!” Tracy said to Jody. “Wait, you're just going to leave me here, Hamish is out there somewhere. I can't just sit here on my ass while Hamish could be out there dying!” Samantha replied. “We don't have any choice Sam, we can't leave the house unguarded!” James said back to Samantha. “Fine, I trust you James.... Just, bring him back safe okay” Samantha replied in a disheartened voice. “Okay Tracy do like James said, don't leave the house and shoot anyone or anything trying to get in.” (The group said their good byes and headed on their way.) “so James do you have any idea wich way we're headed?” Spencer asked while they were leaving. “Nope but we can't abandon Hamish, even if we don't find him at least we tried.” James replied “you know, there is a small complex about 4 hours walk east of here, Hamishes kidnappers might be held up there!” Spencer stated. “Why didn't you mention this before!?” Jody asked in a frustrated tone. “You never asked.” Spencer answered. “Oh shut the fuck up Spencer! I don't like this James, it sounds like bullshit!” Jody replied in an even more frustrated tone. “What are you talking about Spencer i've been out that way before and there isn't anything out there. Are you on drugs spencer? You have been acting atranger than normal, I don't like no hash” James said. “I'm telling you the truth! I saw it when I was scouting by myself.” Spencer replied. “Well we don't have a lot of options, it's the only lead we've got, we go east!”
(The trio headed east for a couple of hours following Spencer's directions avoiding as many zombies as possible and dispatching the stragglers. After two hours of heading east Spencer asked them to stop) “hey guys we have to stop!” Spencer said quietly. “What? Why?” James asked. “Because this is the place” Spencer replied in a sinister tone. “But we have only been walking for two hours, you said the complex was four hours away!” James replied. (Just as James had finished speaking a group of 4 men jumped out of the bushes with guns drawn on James and Jody) “putt your hands up and neither of you will get hurt!” One of the armed men demanded. (James and Jody both putt their hands up) “Spencer you fuck, I allways knew you were a disgusting little weazel but this, i'm going to kill you for this Spencer!” Jody said in a commanding tone. “Come on Jody, do you really think it's a good idea to threaten me, after all i'm the one with the heavily armed friends” Spencer replied in a sarcastic tone. “Spencer why? Why would you do this? What did you do to Hamish?” James asked. “Oh Hamish is dead, I killed him then dragged him out of the hole in the fence that I cut. I bet he is walking around by now, just like the rest of these monsters. But to return to your original question, why? Why would I do this? When I was scouting by myself as I often do I was approached by this group, they offered to let me join them if I gave them our supplies and lead everyone into this ambush, unfortunately Sam and Tracy are still at the farmhouse” Spencer replied. “But why did you kill him? He didn't have to die!” James asked. “ I killed him to get to get everyone motivated and then I lured the Lurker into the house to confuse everyone!” Spencer answered. “It doesn't matter, as soon as we get back to the house Sam is going to shoot you anyway Spencer!” Jody added. (Just as Jody had finished speaking one of the four armed men shot Spencer in the right leg) “WHAT THE FUCK, YOU SHOT ME!?” Spencer yelled as he fell to the ground. “You shouldn't have shot him yet” one of the other armed men said to the shooter. “We will be gone before any walkers arrive” he replied. “He was helping you and you shot him can we expect the same hospitality?!” James asked. “We told him not to kill anybody and it was too easy to convince him to betray you, we can't trust him just the same as you couldn't. We wanted you out in the open to ambush you, we didn't want a shootout at your house.” The shooter replied “YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Spencer yelled. “Shut up or i'll shoot you again. Hey lady, you said you would kill him, here's your chance!” (The shooter walked up and handed her a knife) “make sure you destroy the brain” the shooter said to Jody. “Wait Jody, I know you hate my guts and you have every right to, I betrayed all of you, I killed Hamish. But you're not a murderer, please don't do this Jody” Spencer begged. “Shut up Spencer” Jody replied. (Jody looked at James as if to ask what should I do) “do what you have to do” James said to her in a reassuring tone. (Jody slowly walked over to spencer knife in hand) “JODY PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!” Spencer yelled. “Do you want this quick or slow?...... Thats what I thought, now shut up” Jody replied in a cold voice. (Spencer was sobbing lying on his back looking up at Jody clearly knowing he was going to die) “this is for Hamish you son of a bitch” (Jody said as she plunged the knife down into Spencer's eye into his brain killing him instantly.) “well that's enough of that, we gotta get out of here before the walkers show up, now where is your house?” the shooter said to the group.
“Why would we tell you where our house is?” Jody asked. “Because if you don't we'll shoot you, besides we know it's west so we will find it anyway!” The shooter replied. “Jody we don't have a choice, okay, we will show you where it is” James added. (Jody reluctantly agreed) (the four gunman Jody and James walked west for two hours until they were within sight of the farmhouse.) “What are we gonna do James? We told Tracy and Samantha to shoot anyone that isn't us. Now we show up at gunpoint” Jody whispered to James as they walked toward the farmhouse “Sam is a crack shot and they have a small arsenal, but I don't know what we can do” James whispered back (as the group got closer to the house they saw the fenced off yard was filled with a group of zombies) “damn that can't be your house can it, there has to be at least 20 walkers around it!” One of the gunman said “yeah that's the one, Samantha and Tracy should be fine inside, if there quiet” James replied. “Alright boys lets kill some walkers. (the group made their way through the hole in the fence, three of the four gunman dispatched the zombies one by one with melee weapons leaving the fourth to watch over James and Jody. As they were clearing the front yard of zombies Samantha started shooting from the second story window killing two of them instantly. The gunman who was watching over Jody and James shot James in the back of the head, but before he could turn his gun on Jody she used the knife they had forgotten to take off her to stab the gunman in the neck. The remaining gunman had by this time already set the house on fire with a molotov cocktail he had been holding in his backpack and had ran around the far side of the house from Jody) “TRACY!” Jody yelled at the top of her voice. (As Jody was yelling for Tracy she heard another gun shot and what sounded like Tracy screaming from the far side of the house. Fearing the worst she ran around avoiding the remaining zombies to see if Tracy was alright. As she came around the corner she saw the remaining gunman slumped over on the ground with a shocked looking Tracy standing infront of him with a smoking gun in her hand.) “TRACY!” Jody yelled “MUM!” Tracy replied with tears in her eyes. (The two ran and hugged each other, relieved that each other were alive.) “mum, Samantha is stuck inside the house, there were dozens of Lurkers, they busted down the front door, we got seperated, I ran out the back door and she was forced upstairs.” Tracy said to Jody in a distraught voice “Tracy, we have to go, we have to get out of here now, the house is on fire there is nothing we can do!” Jody replied to Tracy. “Mum we can't leave Sam to die!” Tracy said back to Jody. “Tracy, Spencer and James are both dead we have to leave, we can't get to Sam, there is nothing left here for us!” Jody said back to Tracy with tears in her eyes. “Okay mum!” Tracy managed to reply while crying. (By this time the sun had just set and the only visible light was the inferno behind them as they left their home for the last time)
First off quality story Matt knew your very talented
THINGS I LIKED
Realistic within TWD universe
Descriptions perfect could visualize every scene and never got lost
Great character depth set in the first few sections making me more connected to the characters
Lots of dialogue but managed to still keep me highly entertained and on the edge of my seat even though in conversations not lot of writers can do that so I applaud you there
Lots of cursing and violence and gore YES!!! so badass you won't afraid to do more disturbing scenes with the hammar and the knife so epic
Full of psychology and twists: I'm big fan of intelligently written stories like this wasn't expecting the spencer twist but what liked most it made sense not like usually villain there was method to his madness and can see his motives just genius writing
Lots of killing
Built tension slowly making action scenes and twist more exciting and unexpected
Spacing very easy to read
Grammar no mistakes perfect
Whole story was hooked from first line
Good length
FAVORITE SCENES
Loved whole dialogue section was pretty cool watching the drama unfold and the characters thoughts on the events
Twist with Spencer and another with Jody Killing him so unexpected just genius and more he explained why the more loved it so intelligently written then shooters allowing jody to kill him and seeing why they let her kill him yet all made sense so epic and the moment was intense
Ending burning house, being stabbed in the neck, Walkers, killing, bombs. just pure Adrenaline rush then walking away from burning house so epic and badass
OVERALL
Quality story well done my good sir Matt was worth wait and surpassed my highest expectations MOAR!!
I have decided to repost my fanfic in it's entirety now that it is complete. I apologise for any grammatical problems and misspelling and I … moreknow there is some pacing problems as well.
Forlorn Hope
Jody awoke to a banging on her door, “what is it” she replied, “it's James I need to talk to you it's important” he said firmly. Jody walked to the door and opened it part way “ what is it James the sun isn't even up yet” she replied softly through the partially opened door, “Have you got your torch and gun? I was doing my rounds and found a hole in the wall around the property we need to find what made it quickly!” He said in a stern voice, “holy shit, have you checked on Tracy yet?!” Jody replied while grabbing her torch and gun from under her bed. “Yes she's fine, I checked on her on my way here, I told her to lock her door and stay quiet” “thank god! Okay what's the plan? Have you told the others?” She replied as they left the room and… [view original content]
Comments
Most stupid story I could think of lol
Written by Nick Breckon
Kenny and Clem were about to enter Carvers camp to save Ben who they heard he might still be alive
Kenny turns to Clem and whispers overlooking the camp to remain hidden
Kenny: "We need to save Ben I heard they locked him up"
Clem: "Who?"
Kenny: "That Shitbird!!"
Clem: "Alright"
Kenny: "You stay here and watch me I'm going to look so badass with my new stache"
Clem: "I preferred the old stache"
(?) Kenny will remember that
Kenny: "F*** YOUR NEVER THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU SH** TYPICAL ALWAYS SIDE WITH OLD STACHE TAUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!!"
(?) Clem appears to not give a sh**
Clem: "Jesus bro someone disagrees with you always same thing aint no one got time for that"
Kenny relaxes and runs into the camp shooting wildly with an AK 47 was beautiful sight seeing his beard blowing in the winter air everything was going in slow motion basically lots of stuff and thangs were happening till noise attracted a horde of Walkers. Clem could only watch from the bush in a blink of an eye Kenny was ripped apart by the horde like a happy meal his stache was like the toy to the walkers untouched to be saved for a special occasion.
Carver and his men suddenly appeared with machine guns as drama died down and zombies soon turned and headed toward Clem
Carver: "Come out Clem you think you can foil our plan and save Ben his ours"
Clem: "You can keep him"
Carver: "Hahaha your begging will not save Ben you see Ben is our most deadly weapon we implant him in rivals groups and he always delivers in getting them all indirectly killed his more powerful weapon than a nuclear bomb"
Clem: "I never asked"
Carver: "Stop crying now little girl you will be with your parents soon first we will let the walkers rip you apart if you survive than we will leave you in a room full of mirrors you will be watching yourself as you slowly turn into a walker I'm like a perfect bond villains muahahahahaha"
The 4 walkers closed in soon Clem would be tortured and killed she slowly removed her pistol from her pocket it only had 5 bullets
Carver: "Yes my minions I GUESS THEIR DYING TO SEE YOU". (carver then eye f***s the camera)
Clem simply glares at the walkers a look she since mastered and looks at Carver while shooting her pistol smiling BANG BANG BANG BANG 4 clears headshots killing all the walkers Clem like cold killer didn't even blink
Carver: "Impressive I don't kill little girls I'll make sure you get bitten first then I'll shot you in the head when your a walker get her boys"
A Gang of carver's men were coming toward Clem she had no chance as she only had one bullet left
Clem: "Wait ever play Russian roulette Carver?"
Carver:"No more games KILL HER!!"
Clem put her last bullet in the cylinder and twisted it and aimed it for Carvers head
Carver: "HA!! waste your last bullet on me you still will end up dead my gang will shoot you in the head before you even pull the trigger"
Clem: "Lee taught me to never waste bullets and THAT'S NOT NICE!!"
Clem pressed the trigger and moved the gun away from Carver and aimed for the petrol tank within the camp BANG was all so beautiful like fireworks display they were all killed instantly everything was going in slow motion as carver and his gang got eaten up and spitted out as ash by the blast the bright colours was like a rainbow to Clem who laughed through all the chaos with a smile. Clem looked in silence at the battlefield she could only hear the cold air as ash rained down. Suddenly she spotted a figure walking through the flames.
Clem: "KENNY? but how you were ripped apart and was in the middle of the blast"(as tears rolled down her face as she hugged him tightly)
Kenny: "I JUST GOT LUCKY" (eye f***s the camera)
Ben suddenly appeared in front on them this was the moment time seemed to stop, the sun started to shine brighter and the birds started to sing. Tears rolled down his face seeing Clem and Kenny this moment was the moment what kept him fighting through everyday was like destiny they would met again.
Kenny: "Hey Ben"
Ben: "You saved me I knew I was loved"(Crying on his knees)
Clem: "See ya"
They never saw Ben again and lived happily ever after
THE END
I like this. I've been waiting to see a crossover like this and you did not disappoint. Also, clever move using the fan art to help tell your story. THAT BEING SAID...
My only issue with your story however is this: If Clementine and Ellie got along so well, why couldn't Lee and Joel? It just seemed unreasonable for them to act hostile towards each other when their respective kids got along almost instantly.
Plus from story arc point of view if whole story everyone was friends just seems clique and cheesy way to go about it. As writer it was fun get my points about each characters motives and showing the weaknesses of that mentality whether your driven by morals or not
But if notice from story arc twist are start Clem/Ellie are friends and Joel/Lee are enemies but at the end it's complete twist around with Clem/Ellie as enemies and Lee/Joel as friends etc.
Yeah thanks for noticing the pictures was very technical with the selection the main reasons were to break up the story as cool for the reader and give reader a visual representation of the chapter enforcing the message I'm trying to get across and help reader picture the events
Just wondering what was your favorite part?
Ps: Also big fan of your work think your very talented writer I'm honored you enjoyed it btw
Speaking of Ben, i am currently writting part 5 of " The Stache and the Shitbird "
It's coming " super soon " and is in fact " just around the corner "!
Lol 10 out of 10
Kenny spun around. Further down the street, a frighteningly large amount of walkers had begun to make their way towards the two men, slowly but steadily. More and more of them seemed to accumulate by the second, coming out of shadows or around corners, one even fell from a rooftop with a resounding bang. "Oh, shit!" Ben exclaimed, scrambling to get to his feet. Kenny helped him up, holding him up by one arm. "We have to run, Ben!" Ben looked momentarily unsure, conflicted between the approaching slaughter fest and his own still fatal injury. "But-" " It's alright kid, i'l carry ya! " Kenny responded. Kenny, was carrying Ben under his arm, as they were running away from the horde of Walkers. The walkers were slow, but there was a lot of them. Ben was panting very loudly, and Kenny had to keep slowing down in order to not lose him. The older man glanced behind them again. They were a good few yards away from the walkers, but more and more of the fuckers seemed to keep accumulating, like bacteria. They all followed each other towards their prey. Kenny slid to a stop, the gravel crunching under his close-to-destroyed sneakers. Ben was looking close to tears with relief that he didn't have to keep running. The teenager swallowed convulsively, then he gagged suddenly and leaned forward like he was about to throw up. Kenny placed a hand firmly on the kid's back, keeping his eyes anxiously on the approaching undead behind them. "Ben, can you make it?" He asked urgently, leaning down to try and catch Ben's eyes, but they were clenched tightly shut. Ben coughed wetly into his hand, the force of his hacking making his body shake and look like it was about to give up on him. When Ben removed his hand, Kenny saw red splattered across it. Kenny snatched up his wrist, looking at the blood in shock. "Shit, shit, shit," He growled, feeling on the verge of a panic attack as he looked back at the walkers again before stepping in front of Ben and hauling him into his arms, cradling him like an extremely over grown baby so as not to put any strain on his torn open wound. Ben clutched tightly onto the neckline of Kenny's shirt, until his bony knuckles were bleached white. "Kenny, you can't..." He began, but Kenny told him to shut the fuck up and started to run again. Kenny ran and ran until his legs were burning and numb, until he reached the edge of town and broke free from the surrounding houses that kept him caged in with all those god damn walkers. With a heavy grunt, he laid Ben down on the grass (almost dropped him really), straightening up and staring around.
They seemed to have just gotten free of the neighbourhood. A little ways down was a small gate that curved along the houses, probably leading to the waterfront where they could possibly find Lee and the rest. At least Kenny hoped. And dearly. Kenny bent down so that he was crouching next to Ben. He reached over and rubbed the teenager's shoulder, hoping that he would be okay for more walking, which they probably should be doing sooner rather than later. That group of walkers would eventually find them again if they remained in the same place for too long. "Hey, Ben, you still there?" Kenny spoke softly, quietly. Ben grunted, pushing himself to sit up. He winced sharply, squeezing his eyes shut. "Still here," he replied through his clenched teeth. Kenny breathed a small sigh, though he's not sure if it's from relief or fatigue. Probably both. "We have to move, or those walkers are gonna swarm us. Rip us apart." Ben nodded, swallowing loudly. "Right... Can you help me up?" Kenny reached under Ben's arms, hauling him slowly to his feet. Ben swore vehemently before clamming up again. Kenny held onto the kid's upper body, making sure to keep him stable. Ben teetered for a moment before gaining a precarious balance. Kenny reached up his free arm to point to the railing that he'd spotted earlier. "See down th- you okay? alright- see down there? We can go on down there an' you can hold onto the rail to keep your balance better, that alright?" Ben nodded again, holding tightly onto the fabric at the back of Kenny's shirt. "Alright, okay, okay... Everything's okay," Kenny rambled. "Okay. I'm pretty sure that rail will lead us to the waterfront, where we were headin' back when we were with Lee and them. I'm sure that if they're there, we'll find 'em." Kenny rubbed Ben's back, a silent reassurance, though he didn't even believe himself. "An' if not, then I guess...it's just you and me." After a few beats of silence, Ben mumbled something under his breath. Ben lifted his head. "It's you and I, not you and me." Kenny blinked. "Shut the fuck up, Ben. I was tryin' to create a moment." Ben smirked weakly. "Sorry." "C'mon, let's go...Shitbird. " Kenny sighted.
Kenny began to walk slowly, making sure that Ben could keep up with each step. The two of them slowly traversed the bare, stretching grass until they reached the rail. Ben clutched onto it, sighing in relief. Kenny let him walk on his own, but stayed right by his side. The view over the railing was a mote that opened up into a large, shimmering lake. The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon, setting the sky on fire. The glowing sphere was slightly hidden behind a large road bridge, which was extremely far away, and one could already tell from looking that it didn't lead to this side of the expansive lake. Ben made a soft sound in the back of his throat. "It's so... nice," he ended lamely. Kenny could understand that it was probably difficult to be enthusiastic about the fucking sunset during an apocalypse. Kenny shook his head slowly. He agreed however, that the multiple colours that the sky was turning were undoubtedly beautiful, if somewhat... blinding to his older eyes. "It ain't gonna be pretty for long," he replied instead, turning his eyes to the grass in front of them. "Once the sun goes down, we'll barely be able t' see." Ben looked at Kenny snappishly, his eyes widening. "But the lights from the town will help, right? They're still on and working." Kenny sighed tiredly. "I don't know if they'll help while we're all the way out here, Ben.." He looked at Ben, who's eyes were scared. He began to regret what he'd just said. "They might, though. And we have a trail to follow, so I'm sure it'll be fine." Ben nodded slowly, turning back to the setting sun, his expression somewhat pleading now as he stared at it. Kenny couldn't understand how his eyes weren't irritated from that... his own vision was already spotted black just from a glance. They continued walking in silence, mostly listening for any signs of walkers nearby. After somewhere in between five an ten minutes of this, Ben began to cough again, slapping a dirt-slicked hand over his mouth. His coughs sounded scratchy and wet, and it made Kenny feel ill just listening. He patted Ben's back, waiting for him to pull up again. When the teenager removed his hand from his face, there was fresh blood splattered over his hand.
"Shit, Ben." Kenny clenched his jaw. Ben looked miserable. He was gaunter than Kenny had ever seen him, paler too. "I'm dying," Ben said hopelessly. "You're not, you just need treatment for that fuckin' wound," Kenny kept himself from snarling the words. Ben swallowed, licking his lips. They turned red under his bloody tongue's attention. "I don't know, Kenny... I feel really light headed right now." Kenny stopped in his tracks, turning quickly. "Why didn't you tell me, you fucking idiot!" he growled. Ben shied away, gripping the rail with both hands now. "I've been feeling like this since I woke up in that kitchen. It's just getting much stronger now." Kenny growled again, this time wordlessly, and slumped down into the grass, leaning against the railing. "You're losing blood. Here, let me fix up the dressing on your wound, make sure it's holding it together." Ben bit his lip. He glanced away. His eyes suddenly widened, and he turned fully towards the direction he was looking. "Kenny, I think I see the waterfront!" Kenny started, sitting up straight and peering down the lakeside. Sure enough, down the way there was a long line of boats that neither of them had seen before, and the lake was gradually widening the further down it went. "Fuck. We have to get there before the sun is gone." Kenny got back onto his feet. "Think you can make it there, Ben? Then we'll see how your injury is holding up." Ben nodded vigorously. "Yes, definitely. I just don't wanna be out in the open anymore. Let's go." And so they went, post-haste.
By the time they reached the waterfront, there was only a sliver of sun visible in the sky, and the rays that it was emitting were slowly dying out. Ben nearly collapsed when they finally reached a wooden bench, falling back onto it and letting out a huff of air. Kenny dropped down next to him, telling him to pull up his tee. Ben did, and Kenny checked the dressing that he had created out of Ben's sweater sleeves. The fabric was soaked through where the wound was, and had loosened a lot since it had been placed. Kenny removed the filthy dressing, turning it over and pulling a rag out of his pocket that he had brought from the kitchen. He wiped off some specks of dirt that had gotten on the outside of the dressing, then pressed an unbloodied area of the cloth back to Ben's wound. Ben hissed loudly, gripping the bench until his knuckles went white. "Sorry Ben, sorry," Kenny apologized quickly, tying the dressing tight, making sure it was secure. Ben shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright...There we go." Kenny sighed with relief as Ben pulled his shirt back down, tucking his vest tightly around his body. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, looking around the waterfront for any signs of human activity. A breeze had begun to pick up as they had drawn closer to the waterfront, and was now biting at Kenny's exposed face. Ben shivered next to him, rubbing his bare arms. They sat for a while longer in silence, then Kenny stood up, casting his gaze all around before the last sliver of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Kenny shook his head gently. "Guess nobody's here." Ben nodded, standing up as well, stepping close to Kenny as he took a look around himself. "We shouldn't stay out here, right?" Kenny shrugged, but he could feel himself beginning to tense as the moon began to brighten in the sky, and it became harder to see. There was only the dull glow coming from the town. "We should probably find shelter... but it seems safe enough out here. Not a walker in sight. They're all drawn to the lights and noises of the town." Kenny looked at Ben, silently asking if he was okay with staying by the waterfront. Ben swallowed, his teeth shattering audibly. "Y-y-yeah, alr-right..." He hugged himself tighter. Kenny looked around again. "I'll keep watch, okay? But you gotta get up in a few hours so I can get some sleep. We can't risk going back into town but neither can we risk sleeping and going unnoticed if Lee and them pass us by." "I could take watch first-" Ben started. "No, no way Ben. You're practically dying for fuck's sake. Just get some rest, you idiot." Ben pressed his lips together. He looked emotionally hurt, like a kicked puppy. Kenny fought from rolling his eyes, but he felt a pang of regret for hurting the kid's feelings. He seemed to be regretting a lot of things that he said to Ben recently. Not that he was about to say sorry. Ben curled up on the bench, which wasn't nearly long enough for his legs. He wrapped himself into a loose ball and closed his eyes. He looked anything but comfortable but it cradled him better the ground probably would. Kenny sat down in the grass a few feet from the bench, and waited for whatever was out there, be it Lee or more walkers, the moonlight casting and eerie, colour-leached glow on everything around him.
Will Ben survive, will Kenny find Lee and Clem (And a fucking boat) again, will there be Walkers...all this questions and many more will probaply be answered!
Spoiler Alert: Super soon, just around the corner!!!
Summary
You kept tension high from the start really on the edge of my seat reading this whole thing so entertaining. Was very long but because the story was so good actually felt really short an accomplishment not many writers can achieve. Mixed up the themes Action, horror, comedy etc really enjoyed it this chapter had everything. Felt the descriptions were superb really felt in the moment always seem to pick right words to set a scene and could picture every scene perfectly in my head. Action from the start to the end perfect for me as already build foundation for the story in first few chapters so action seemed more badass and epic. Loved all the bad language. Realistic within TWD universe. The fact went down realistic path not have kenny take down horde with his stache lol you could actually feel the hopelessness and the constant danger as you showed weak side of kenny running away with ben and constant fight to save him like TWD he seems to lose every battle he faces constantly facing impossible challenges but gets little wins every now and again just beautiful also had so much heart
Ps. Shut the fuck up, Ben. I was tryin' to create a moment had me lmao for about 10 minutes well played
Overall
Beautiful chapter had everything well done stache this was unbelieveable one of the best chapters I ever read very talented writer you just seems to be getting better and better every chapter
Rating
Never rate a chapter till a stories done but because it's so long and put so much effort in
9.5
Sol: "It's a fucking anti-aircraft bump, Vincent!"
Forlorn Hope
Jody awoke to a banging on her door, “what is it” she replied, “it's James I need to talk to you it's important” he said firmly. Jody walked to the door and opened it part way “ what is it James the sun isn't even up yet” she replied softly through the partially opened door, “Have you got your torch and gun? I was doing my rounds and found a hole in the wall around the property we need to find what made it quickly!” He said in a stern voice, “holy shit, have you checked on Tracy yet?!” Jody replied while grabbing her torch and gun from under her bed. “Yes she's fine, I checked on her on my way here, I told her to lock her door and stay quiet” “thank god! Okay what's the plan? Have you told the others?” She replied as they left the room and started to make their way to the front door of the farmhouse. “Yes Spencer and Samantha are checking inside the house, Hamish is going to meet us at the front door. I told everyone that if something happens give out a yell so we can find them.” (They made their way to the front door of the farmhouse to meet Hamish)
“Where the fuck is Hamish, he should be here” James said loudly as they arrived at the front door of the farmhouse “I dont hear any yelling so he can't be too far away, besides I want to check on Tracy before we check the yard.” Jody replied. “she is 17 years old, im sure your daughter will be fine in a locked room besides we need to” before James could finish his sentance he was interupted by a loud scream coming from inside the house. “Fuck that sounds like Samantha we have to find her!” James yelled “ I think it came from the dining room!” Jody replied. As the two rushed to the dining room they heard what sounded like a fight and more yelling, when they entered they saw Samantha wrestling with a Zombie. James quickly grabbed the hammer from his belt and smashed it over the head, much to the relief of Samantha. “Where the fuck is Spencer you were supposed to stick together!” James said loudly to Samantha. “He went to go and get Tracy” Samantha replied “son of a bitch!” Jody said as Spencer and Tracy come through the door “you piece of shit , I told you to stay the hell away from my daughter!” Jody barked at Spencer. “It's ok mum Spencer just thought I could help!” Tracy replied to Jody “yeah I bet Spencer thought he could do a lot of things!” Jody said Back to Tracy while glaring at Spencer. “Look i'm sorry Jody but we need all hands on deck for this and your daughter is almost 18!” Spencer replied “Shut the fuck up” James barked at everyone “This isn't important, we need to figure out how this fucking Lurker got inside the house and if there are more skulking about. And have you all forgotten about the hole in the wall and where the hell is Hamish!?” James continued.
“James is right we have to find Hamish that should be the first priority, but we have to stick together!” Samantha said in a confident voice, to which the group agreed. The group silently checked the house from top to bottom looking for Hamish but found no sign of him, the tension was so thick you could cut with a knife, with each of them worried about Hamish. As they arrived at the front of the house their was no sign of any more Lurkers, but the same could be said of Hamish. “Hamish are you out there!” Samantha yelled, but was quickly hushed by the rest of the group “do you really think it's a good idea for us to attract the attention of any roamers with a hole in the fence!?” James asked Samantha “what the hell is going on? First a hole in the fence then Hamish goes missing and a Lurker gets in the house!?” Spencer says to which Jody replies “since when have you cared what happens to us?” To which Spencer replies “Holy shit Jody, give me a break, when are you going to trust me!?” “I will start to trust you when you stop staring at my daughter!” Jody said in a harsh tone. “Mum Stop it!” Tracy said to Jody in a stern voice, James interrupted the argument. “Shut up both of you, we need to find Hamish not argue over bullshit!” James said in a commanding voice. “Your right James, i'm sorry” Jody answered. “We can't see him from the deck and we can't yell out to find him so we will have to circle the house” Samantha said calmly to the rest of the group, to which they agreed. (By this time the sun had started to peak over the horizon so they turned their torches off and started to walk around the house). They slowly walked around the house in a clockwise rotation looking for any sign of Hamish until they got to the hole in the fence. “This doesn't make any sense, Hamish wouldn't have just left” Samantha said with a slight tinge of sadness in her voice. “I'm sorry Sam I know you and him were close” Jody said with a sympathetic tone. James had a closer inspection of the fence in the sunlight (it was a basic fence made mostly out of fence posts wire and and a bit of sheet metal) after investigating the hole in the fence James said “hey guys Lurkers didn't knock this over, the wire has been cut!”
“What!” Jody replied in a stunned voice. “Like I said, look at the wire it has been cut cleanly in a row down the fence!” James replied. “But why would someone do this?” Samantha asked in a worried voice. (as Samantha was speaking James noticed some torn dark blue cloth on the wire lying on the ground) “what is it?” Jody asked “there is some dark blue cloth that has been torn on the wire! What was Hamish wearing Sam?” James asked. “He was wearing a dark blue shirt! But it can't be from Hamish, Hamish is fine, he has to be!” Samantha replied. (Seeing that Samantha was clearly upset by the dissapearence of Hamish Jody decided that samantha should go inside and sit down) “Hey Trace the house is clear can you go inside with Sam?” Jody asked politely. “Bullshit I need to be here, we need to look for Hamish!” Samantha replied sharply. “Mum you need to stop treating me like a child i'm almost 18!” Tracy added. “Sam we will look for Hamish but for now you need you to go inside, Tracy please just do what I say” Jody replied. “Look this is all very touching but it isn't getting Hamish back, I vote we all go and look for him” Spencer added in a sarcastic tone. (James then smacked Spencer over the back of the head) “show some respect son!” James said to spencer in a commanding voice. “Fuck you old man, don't touch me!” Spencer said back to James in an arrogant tone. “What did I say?” James asked in a frustrated tone. “Are you alright Sam?” Jody asked. “I am, I will be, maybe you're right maybe I should go inside and sit down for a bit” (Samantha and Tracy then go back inside leaving Spencer James and Jody outside.) “James you used to be a cop what do you make of this?” Jody asked. “You want my opinion? Okay, this doesn't make a lot of sense but I think an intruder cut the wire snuck in attacked Hamish dragged him away and let Lurkers into the house.” James said in a worried tone. “That's the best you could come up with?” Spencer added in a sarcastic tone. “I don't see you coming up with a better idea!” Jody added. “Okay here's one, Hamish cut the wire lured the Lurker inside and then left!” Spencer added. “You're an idiot, you don't like Hamish so you're blaming him for this while he isn't around to defend himself. If he is suspect so are you Spencer!” Jody said angrily. “Okay guys we don't have any options, some of us have to leave to look for him!” James stated.
“Wait, why don't we all go?” Spencer asked James. “We can't all go, somebody has to hold down the fort while were gone!” James replied. “But why does it matter?” Spencer asked “for all we know whoever took Hamish might luring us into a trap so if we all leave the house when we get back they might ambush us” James replied. “But they might be ambush us as soon as we leave!” Spencer stated. “Wait didn't you say you thought Hamish was responsible for the hole in the fence and the Lurker in the house?” Jody replied. (James interupted) “okay guys enough talking, we got shit to do. Okay, you two and I are going to look for Hamish. Sam and Tracy are going to stay behind, and don't worry Jody us three are going to carry only the weapons we need, Tracy will be armed to the teeth!” James declared. “Hmmm ok well we better let them know” Jody replied. (Spencer Jody and James walked to the house to inform Tracy and Samantha of the plan. As they walked into the house Samantha and Tracy were sitting at the dinner table although they weren't talking to each other) “okay guys this is the plan, Sam your mum Spencer and I are going to leave to look for Hamish. We should only been gone a day or so, hopefully, we are only going to take the weapons we need. You two will have a small arsenal, if anybody other than us tries to get in blow their brains out, oh and try not to make too much noise there is still a hole in the fence!” James said to Tracy and Samantha. “I guess we don't have a lot of choice, please mum don't do anything stupid!” Tracy said to Jody. “Wait, you're just going to leave me here, Hamish is out there somewhere. I can't just sit here on my ass while Hamish could be out there dying!” Samantha replied. “We don't have any choice Sam, we can't leave the house unguarded!” James said back to Samantha. “Fine, I trust you James.... Just, bring him back safe okay” Samantha replied in a disheartened voice. “Okay Tracy do like James said, don't leave the house and shoot anyone or anything trying to get in.” (The group said their good byes and headed on their way.) “so James do you have any idea wich way we're headed?” Spencer asked while they were leaving. “Nope but we can't abandon Hamish, even if we don't find him at least we tried.” James replied “you know, there is a small complex about 4 hours walk east of here, Hamishes kidnappers might be held up there!” Spencer stated. “Why didn't you mention this before!?” Jody asked in a frustrated tone. “You never asked.” Spencer answered. “Oh shut the fuck up Spencer! I don't like this James, it sounds like bullshit!” Jody replied in an even more frustrated tone. “What are you talking about Spencer i've been out that way before and there isn't anything out there. Are you on drugs spencer? You have been acting atranger than normal, I don't like no hash” James said. “I'm telling you the truth! I saw it when I was scouting by myself.” Spencer replied. “Well we don't have a lot of options, it's the only lead we've got, we go east!”
(The trio headed east for a couple of hours following Spencer's directions avoiding as many zombies as possible and dispatching the stragglers. After two hours of heading east Spencer asked them to stop) “hey guys we have to stop!” Spencer said quietly. “What? Why?” James asked. “Because this is the place” Spencer replied in a sinister tone. “But we have only been walking for two hours, you said the complex was four hours away!” James replied. (Just as James had finished speaking a group of 4 men jumped out of the bushes with guns drawn on James and Jody) “putt your hands up and neither of you will get hurt!” One of the armed men demanded. (James and Jody both putt their hands up) “Spencer you fuck, I allways knew you were a disgusting little weazel but this, i'm going to kill you for this Spencer!” Jody said in a commanding tone. “Come on Jody, do you really think it's a good idea to threaten me, after all i'm the one with the heavily armed friends” Spencer replied in a sarcastic tone. “Spencer why? Why would you do this? What did you do to Hamish?” James asked. “Oh Hamish is dead, I killed him then dragged him out of the hole in the fence that I cut. I bet he is walking around by now, just like the rest of these monsters. But to return to your original question, why? Why would I do this? When I was scouting by myself as I often do I was approached by this group, they offered to let me join them if I gave them our supplies and lead everyone into this ambush, unfortunately Sam and Tracy are still at the farmhouse” Spencer replied. “But why did you kill him? He didn't have to die!” James asked. “ I killed him to get to get everyone motivated and then I lured the Lurker into the house to confuse everyone!” Spencer answered. “It doesn't matter, as soon as we get back to the house Sam is going to shoot you anyway Spencer!” Jody added. (Just as Jody had finished speaking one of the four armed men shot Spencer in the right leg) “WHAT THE FUCK, YOU SHOT ME!?” Spencer yelled as he fell to the ground. “You shouldn't have shot him yet” one of the other armed men said to the shooter. “We will be gone before any walkers arrive” he replied. “He was helping you and you shot him can we expect the same hospitality?!” James asked. “We told him not to kill anybody and it was too easy to convince him to betray you, we can't trust him just the same as you couldn't. We wanted you out in the open to ambush you, we didn't want a shootout at your house.” The shooter replied “YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Spencer yelled. “Shut up or i'll shoot you again. Hey lady, you said you would kill him, here's your chance!” (The shooter walked up and handed her a knife) “make sure you destroy the brain” the shooter said to Jody. “Wait Jody, I know you hate my guts and you have every right to, I betrayed all of you, I killed Hamish. But you're not a murderer, please don't do this Jody” Spencer begged. “Shut up Spencer” Jody replied. (Jody looked at James as if to ask what should I do) “do what you have to do” James said to her in a reassuring tone. (Jody slowly walked over to spencer knife in hand) “JODY PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!” Spencer yelled. “Do you want this quick or slow?...... Thats what I thought, now shut up” Jody replied in a cold voice. (Spencer was sobbing lying on his back looking up at Jody clearly knowing he was going to die) “this is for Hamish you son of a bitch” (Jody said as she plunged the knife down into Spencer's eye into his brain killing him instantly.) “well that's enough of that, we gotta get out of here before the walkers show up, now where is your house?” the shooter said to the group.
“Why would we tell you where our house is?” Jody asked. “Because if you don't we'll shoot you, besides we know it's west so we will find it anyway!” The shooter replied. “Jody we don't have a choice, okay, we will show you where it is” James added. (Jody reluctantly agreed) (the four gunman Jody and James walked west for two hours until they were within sight of the farmhouse.) “What are we gonna do James? We told Tracy and Samantha to shoot anyone that isn't us. Now we show up at gunpoint” Jody whispered to James as they walked toward the farmhouse “Sam is a crack shot and they have a small arsenal, but I don't know what we can do” James whispered back (as the group got closer to the house they saw the fenced off yard was filled with a group of zombies) “damn that can't be your house can it, there has to be at least 20 walkers around it!” One of the gunman said “yeah that's the one, Samantha and Tracy should be fine inside, if there quiet” James replied. “Alright boys lets kill some walkers. (the group made their way through the hole in the fence, three of the four gunman dispatched the zombies one by one with melee weapons leaving the fourth to watch over James and Jody. As they were clearing the front yard of zombies Samantha started shooting from the second story window killing two of them instantly. The gunman who was watching over Jody and James shot James in the back of the head, but before he could turn his gun on Jody she used the knife they had forgotten to take off her to stab the gunman in the neck. The remaining gunman had by this time already set the house on fire with a molotov cocktail he had been holding in his backpack and had ran around the far side of the house from Jody) “TRACY!” Jody yelled at the top of her voice. (As Jody was yelling for Tracy she heard another gun shot and what sounded like Tracy screaming from the far side of the house. Fearing the worst she ran around avoiding the remaining zombies to see if Tracy was alright. As she came around the corner she saw the remaining gunman slumped over on the ground with a shocked looking Tracy standing infront of him with a smoking gun in her hand.) “TRACY!” Jody yelled “MUM!” Tracy replied with tears in her eyes. (The two ran and hugged each other, relieved that each other were alive.) “mum, Samantha is stuck inside the house, there were dozens of Lurkers, they busted down the front door, we got seperated, I ran out the back door and she was forced upstairs.” Tracy said to Jody in a distraught voice “Tracy, we have to go, we have to get out of here now, the house is on fire there is nothing we can do!” Jody replied to Tracy. “Mum we can't leave Sam to die!” Tracy said back to Jody. “Tracy, Spencer and James are both dead we have to leave, we can't get to Sam, there is nothing left here for us!” Jody said back to Tracy with tears in her eyes. “Okay mum!” Tracy managed to reply while crying. (By this time the sun had just set and the only visible light was the inferno behind them as they left their home for the last time)
The end.
I hope you all enjoy :)
THINGS I LIKED
Realistic within TWD universe
Descriptions perfect could visualize every scene and never got lost
Great character depth set in the first few sections making me more connected to the characters
Lots of dialogue but managed to still keep me highly entertained and on the edge of my seat even though in conversations not lot of writers can do that so I applaud you there
Lots of cursing and violence and gore YES!!! so badass you won't afraid to do more disturbing scenes with the hammar and the knife so epic
Full of psychology and twists: I'm big fan of intelligently written stories like this wasn't expecting the spencer twist but what liked most it made sense not like usually villain there was method to his madness and can see his motives just genius writing
Lots of killing
Built tension slowly making action scenes and twist more exciting and unexpected
Spacing very easy to read
Grammar no mistakes perfect
Whole story was hooked from first line
Good length
FAVORITE SCENES
Loved whole dialogue section was pretty cool watching the drama unfold and the characters thoughts on the events
Twist with Spencer and another with Jody Killing him so unexpected just genius and more he explained why the more loved it so intelligently written then shooters allowing jody to kill him and seeing why they let her kill him yet all made sense so epic and the moment was intense
Ending burning house, being stabbed in the neck, Walkers, killing, bombs. just pure Adrenaline rush then walking away from burning house so epic and badass
OVERALL
Quality story well done my good sir Matt was worth wait and surpassed my highest expectations MOAR!!
RATING
9