Summer hits hard and it hasn't hit harder than in the forums

Summertime is when school's out and all the brain-dead little globs of growing sperm walk about with nothing to do. Little dumb pieces of scite with too much of mommy and daddy's pocket money wasting it without permission, without supervision. Then they buy that which has the most blood, the coolest main character and the most digital titties because all the cool kids have girlfriends and they ain't the cool kids. If they were they'd be destroying their livers and gaining an appreciation for the burning sensation when you take a leak. Just like the alphas. The Tylers, the Thads, the Jadens, the Wylers, the Chads, the Aydens, the Skylers, the Brads, the Braydens. But the ones here ain't the alphas, ain't they? No, they're the doomed little twats who'll live a basic 9-5, believe the lies spewed forth from their favourite news station as truth and vote democrat (or republican, either is monstrously fucktarded). The Jessies, the Percies, the Algernons, the Alberts, the losers. But, since you're still so young you enjoy life and get yourself the games that are touted as amazing. The CoDs, the Battlefields and now you've infested adventure games. Games I've been playing when you were not even stain in the neighbor's shorts.

You thought the Walking Dead was amazing because you got to have power over people and the world in it (an illusion, but hey, let's not get into that topic here). You busted loads into your bedsheets over Carley. Then you busted a gasket when she died - how dare you not get to fuck your imaginary girlfriend. Then it ended and you couldn't wait until the next entry.

More games get announced, you're hyped, but you have to go back to school just as the rest of us are getting to work or going back to Ministry of Truth Reeducation Centres (known as universities). Ah, but we don't have to go to bed at 10PM sharp, and most of us have brainpower exceeding the 13% you fuckers use (give me a shot of adrenaline to my heart and I'll work at 75% - add cocaine and it's 100%). We were hard at work deciphering the clues in TWAU and making guesses as to what will happen in TWD, and we were having a jolly time of it. Hell, I remember when everyone was up and about Kenny's possible return to the scene. I remember us having conniptions over the 4 month gap between episodes 1 and 2 of TWAU. We were fucking thinking about shit. Not very hard, mind you, but at least it took us effort to construct sentences because they were filled with ideas that were interconnected with facts, assumptions and logical deductions.

What you failed abortions are doing right now is spreading your cancer among a forum that once had a modicum of fucking appeal. It was too clean, too politically correct and far too goddamn controlled, but it was still entertaining because it was devoted to the games we spent maybe just a bit too much time thinking about. Now you blithering dipshits come along and turn what could've once been compared to a game of Bocce-Ball into a fucking game of Patty-cake.

Insipid threads like ''So how old do you think these characters are?'', ''How would you react if Clem got bit at the end of episode four?'' or ''If you got to decide the fate of (SPOILERS), what would you do?'' permeate across the goddamn forums where the answers are self-evident if you force your tiny, pop-song-riddled brains to fucking work. There are no discussions to be had anymore, there are no intelligent creatures with which to have those discussions. Only drooling, fat, overly-pampered retards with an internet connection and a horsefuckingly shocking amount of free time.

(I haven't had this big of a hate-fueled erection since Justin Bieber was first brought to the internet's attention)

If you're looking for a point in all this (assuming you haven't started writing a hate-filled reply, or reported me to the mods [who I'm sure hate the threads with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome levels of intelligent discourse in them just as much as I do, if not more so]) it is this: All of you little kids, get the fuck off the internet until you're old enough to buy a prostitute. Then eat some lye because you'll still be a generation brought up online, and that will be the most useless group of people since Generation Y.

Long live hate-fueled erections.