Would you ever date someone you're not physically attractive to?
I know it's seem mean but we have to admit we all have a little bit of shallow in us. The reason I ask this question is because I remember last year one of my semi friend/classmate had a crush on me and I heard he was going to ask me out. I didn't like him in that way but I felt guilty because probably the only reason I didn't like him was because of his appearance. I felt bad for not liking him because of that so I was worry when I heard that because in my head i already though of saying "No". Things went easier after that because he found someone else that like him and I didn't have to reject him.
I am not saying I would date a hot guy no matter what his personality is but I think (in my view) I have to find something of the guy that I find attractive.( Doesn't have to be looks).
So I was wondering if any of you guys feel this way and if you ever had a experience like that.
Comments
I hope this was't a mistake...
I don't think I would date someone I wasn't physically attracted to, because in my opinion physical attraction is definitely one of the bigger reasons you would want to date someone in the first place. I definitely don't think it's something to feel bad about either if you reject someone because of physical appearance.
I'll get back to you once I start dating and/or get a kiss from a girl. Should be in 5 years.
Nope.
Nope. Sorry.
Not at all. And you definitely shouldn't feel bad about it. I'm a shallow person and I have no quarrels admitting it. I can be good friends with just about anyone, but if I'm not physically attracted to someone then that's how it will stay. Though I will admit with a great personality and some time physical attraction can manifest itself in places not really expected.
The same thing happened to me when I was in middle school - there was a girl who liked me, but I never liked her as more than a friend. Honestly, I think it handled it pretty badly, nothing vicious, but I basically tried to tell her that she didn't really like me that way (I was in middle school okay?). But there has always been this feeling nagging me in the back of my mind, asking "why didn't I like her?" and I worry it was lack of physical attraction. I also keep asking myself if my own relationship failures aren't some form of karma.
As to situations where I've like women, I've notice that women I've, at first glance, thought were relatively unattractive (to be disturbingly honest), became beautiful to me simply because I got to know them and to like them...
First of all, you're allowed to pick who you want to date for any reason whatsoever, politically correct or not, and you should not feel bad about it. Guys would much rather be rejected up front (though rejected as nicely as you can) than have it start up with some promise that only he sees.
That being said, personality trumps almost everything. If the guy is really ugly but always makes you laugh, and you always have a good time hanging out, that's something. One thing that might not work out, though, is if he has some toxic smell you can't stand. I think that would be worse than looks.
Honestly, I never met someone irl that I couldn't be attracted to.
Though I think trust and sacrifice makes up most of a relationship and SHOULD make up most of the relationship, physical attraction is important for long lasting relationships, because without a bonding of any sort that rises above simple friendship, you may as well be friends. I've said this in another thread; sexuality is a bonding process, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That is why some sort of attractiveness is important if there is ever going to be a satisfying marriage later in life.
Marriage is 80% trust and sacrifice and 20% physical, but that doesn't make the physical aspect insignificant in the marriage.
How old are you?
:P
I'm going to bet 67...
That situation happened to me and I tried to be nice but she was vicious about it so I got a little vicious too...Nothing bad though.
Exactly the same as AWESOMEO
...68?
...
Glare
...17?
Little younger
5?
15.
Older.
Older
15?
(3.821656050955414) x Apple ( _____ )
16...It all makes sense...
It does matter to an extent I think, though it would never be the sole reason for me not dating someone. I would much rather have a strong mental connection with someone rather than being dependent on their physical features. Of course being attractive is a much welcome bonus
And as someone said above, attitude can actually play a role in some odd sort of way. A girl could be pretty much scorching hot, but if she's a total bimbo, her attractiveness level actually takes a pretty big hit... in my book at least.
Shallowness is not necessarily bad. If you're not attracted to someone physically, then you're not. It all depends on how you handle it with the person. You shouldn't lead someone on if he/she shows interest in you and play to the person's attraction to make you feel better. That's when it becomes bad. I never dated someone I was not attracted to, but I did go out a few times with a woman just to see how things would go. She had a horrible personality which rubbed me the wrong way so I ended it before I'd considered it dating. Its better to be direct with the person rather than try to smooth rejection over. But then again, I'm not a woman so consequences for rejecting someone isn't something I worry about or fear reprecussions for.
Of course I would! That's why I'm with your mom!
I don't think I would but it's hard to say, I've only liked one person in my entire life and I dated her, she was very attractive back then and even more now, we're still friends, kinda and I don't feel any attraction towards her anymore even though she looks a lot better now and is one of the few people I can have a conversation with.
Anyway I have no idea how liking someone works, I can find someone attractive but there has only been one person that I liked and it wasn't because she was attractive, it was just nice to have someone I could talk to and after a while I started feeling funny around her, I'd get nervous and easily embarrassed around her and then I'd feel like butterflies in my stomach and even though it was weird and awkward I felt like I wanted to be with her, so I told her friend because I was too nervous to tell her and she told her and then returned and told me she said yes, it was weird but it worked for a while until she had to move away and then I had to move away, and it's weird because we still bump into each other every now and then even though we've both been travelling, like we keep being at the same place at the same time, anyway she's still nice and I like being around her but I don't feel like I like her that way anymore.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'd probably date someone else that made me feel that way, don't know how much looks have to do with that.
It's kinda weird though because I should still like her, I mean we have a good history, we get along well, we have similar interests but not the exact same, she's one of the only 2 people that I've known for over 8 years that I still talk to, she can calm me down when I'm angry just by telling me to calm down (I normally get completely out of control when I'm angry), we can argue for hours without really being angry at each other and more importantly unlike before when we were high school students she's on her way to becoming a detective and I have a pretty big thing for female detectives, so by logic I should be in love with this woman that still likes me despite the fact that I'm an antisocial psychopathic jerk, I mean on top of that she's gorgeous and I don't really feel anything for her which kinda sucks, I think it would be good for me to go out with her again but I refuse most of her invitations just because I'm not interested.
Dat Axe tho.
You kids with your high expectations. Its so funny. Do you honestly think that one day your going to meet Mr Wonderful billionaire who is going make you happy everyday? It is just not realistic. I'll go out with anyone if they ask me. I like spending time with people. When you get older either you accept the fact that not every person that you interact with socially is going to meet your standards or you become a shallow person that no one likes.
The love of my life was a girl i didn't think was in my league, she was a female bookworm, and i was slacker. So take that for what its worth.
wow dat hurts. quitting 4 ever
Awww that nice. This reminded me of my relationship with a guy about 3 years ago expect he was decent and he ended up cheating on me. But it's nice you still have contact with her. But out of curiosity why did you guys broke up?
Did you not read the whole thing?
and I didn't find anything that attracted me to him in a romantic way. I have like and even dated a guy who aren't what you would call "good looking" but is still find other things that made me attracted to him. There is a saying " Date someone who makes you feel as if your favorite food is being serve" (or something like that) and mainly he didn't make me feel like that.
Technically speaking we never really did break up, but both of us moved a lot (I still kinda do) so we mostly just ended up away from each other and it sort off ended, it's weird though because we bumped into each other several times while we were travelling before ending up in almost the same town again, anyway since we just moved away and there was no break up of any sort we don't really feel like there's any reason for us to not get along, we still enjoy each other's company so I don't see why we shouldn't.
yes
Then don't worry about it. If you don't like him , you don't like him. I'm not sure how old you are so its hard for me to give advice, if your still in high school/college even i wouldn't even think about serious dating. I would wait until your in your late 20s early 30s to even think about settling down with someone. (cough my age)
When i graduated college with my bachelor's @ twenty two i was married. Things happened and then i left the states and didn't come back for some years.