Personality is definetely more important than physical attractiveness, but looks do help haha. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been told I'm quite an attractive guy, and I've been interested in and dated, not so attractive girls. People would even give us 'wtf' looks sometimes haha.
Idk, I would like to think humans had the self awareness of their biological urges to not just choose a partner based on looks. I've never been much into sex (low sex drive, idfk), and don't plan on procreating, so I couldn't give a toss about someones genes.
I understand people can't choose their genes, so I won't judge them for it. Looks truly don't matter to me. Then I suppose it could be argued you can't choose you're personality, but I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole haha.
My first question is, what is most important to you when looking for a boyfriend / girlfriend? Include things like your age, your sex, (you … morecan say if you prefer men, women, both, whichever this is for everyone of every sexuality.) Not only, what is most important to you, what other things matter? (If anything besides looks.)
22, male. I value personality over looks. I like girls who have a zest for life and devote their time to their hobbies and passions rather than partying and drinking.
And bottom line, do men only date based off of looks? I'm not saying that in the whole of things, men are just looking for the hottest chick to bang. (Which, me personally, with all my experiences, this is the case and they don't want to admit it for fear of lash back.)
You're generalizing, not all men are like that only the general population of men. It's the same with women.
I get that being attracted to someone is incredibly i… [view original content]
Personality is definetely more important than physical attractiveness, but looks do help haha. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been told I'm quite an attractive guy, and I've been interested in and dated, not so attractive girls. People would even give us 'wtf' looks sometimes haha.
Totally understand since I've been on the same boat.
Personality is definetely more important than physical attractiveness, but looks do help haha. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been told I… more'm quite an attractive guy, and I've been interested in and dated, not so attractive girls. People would even give us 'wtf' looks sometimes haha.
Idk, I would like to think humans had the self awareness of their biological urges to not just choose a partner based on looks. I've never been much into sex (low sex drive, idfk), and don't plan on procreating, so I couldn't give a toss about someones genes.
I understand people can't choose their genes, so I won't judge them for it. Looks truly don't matter to me. Then I suppose it could be argued you can't choose you're personality, but I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole haha.
(Didn't mean to reply, sorry)
My names Jamie(most people call me James), I'm a male, and I'm 19. Honestly I've never had a girlfriend, not that I don't want one, but I just never found the right person for me(and I'm not the best looking guy). I guess what I look for most in women is a good personality and while looks are nice they aren't really important. Basically, what I'm trying to say is as long as the girl has a good personality and we connect then nothing else matters. So In short I much prefer Personality over Looks.
P.S: Sorry if that was hard to read. My grammar sucks
Personality is definetely more important than physical attractiveness, but looks do help haha. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been told I… more'm quite an attractive guy, and I've been interested in and dated, not so attractive girls. People would even give us 'wtf' looks sometimes haha.
Idk, I would like to think humans had the self awareness of their biological urges to not just choose a partner based on looks. I've never been much into sex (low sex drive, idfk), and don't plan on procreating, so I couldn't give a toss about someones genes.
I understand people can't choose their genes, so I won't judge them for it. Looks truly don't matter to me. Then I suppose it could be argued you can't choose you're personality, but I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole haha.
(Didn't mean to reply, sorry)
Hello, I'm Lingvort, I'm 56 and I'm an alcoholic. I live in a box out in the street or, occasionally, in abandoned basements. I keep myself warm with burning paper and/or vodka I stole from a local liquor store.
Well, fine, jokes aside. My name doesn't matter. I'm 17-year old heterosexual male. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but, knowing my personality and looks, I'm not likely to any time soon. I value personality more than looks, but if both happen to be decent enough, that's jackpot.
I also wouldn't want to marry or have kids, and not just because I don't want to take care of kids or be committed to my spouse, but because I don't think there's anything worthwhile in me or my personality to be attracted to, and as for kids, it's also because I don't think I have anything useful to impact them with. I'd be a poor father, IMO.
Now, with this little confession concluded, I'm off to look for another box...
I get what you're saying about societal impressions, expectations etc. For me personally, the only person I want to be with like that is my … morehusband (if I ever get married.) Now, that may have been from my upbringing, but because of it I staved away from it, and I'm just throwing this out there, and I'm sorry if it's TMI for anyone, but I feel it must be said for me personally and maybe other women feel this way... but... Sex only feels good if it's with someone we legitimately care for or love. It's so mental with us, I simply don't understand how one night stands get women off at all. I've had so many women in my life have failed relationships and partners with whom they've had sex or physical relations with, and have admitted to me that they faked it all the time and never enjoyed it with the man. So, even with people we're with (married or in a relationship with), it doesn't even feel good. Of course, these relationships ended, and weren't… [view original content]
It's been starting in intellectual liberal circles. At my old university for which I am still allowed to attend talks, Oxford, there have been more and more lectures debating why humans limit themselves to one partner and stuff. Particularly in the 3rd week of term this year, which was gender and sexuality week.
The limiting factor is that it annoys the religious fundies, but they were annoyed at interracial marriages and homosexual relationships, we get over caring what they think about other people pretty quickly.
I'm 16, Male. I haven't thought too much about Love and all that, I'm more of the person that thinks of what to do as it happens.
For Looks, I don't much care what they look like. They don't have to be really pretty, I'm more of a personality kind of person.
For personality, They have to be caring and nice. and have an open mind. And trust is a must, I have had a lot of bad memories because i trusted the wrong people. I want to make sure that doesn't happen again.
Is it weird if liking someone's personality triggers a physical attraction towards them? I favour personality over looks, to be with someone, I have to know if I'll be compatible and feel alright about who they truly are and feel ok being called their special friend. It's kind of like books, do you prefer the cover the holds the story? Or you do you prefer the story that unfolds beyond the covers?
Attractiveness takes a distant backseat to personality, at least for me. Not to sound like a dick, but I also prefer my partner to be intelligent enough to relate to my interests.
It's not so much about sex as a lot of younger people tend to think. Long-term relationships aren't about finding someone that you want to fuck....that's what casual sex is for. It's about finding someone and enjoying their company so much that you want to have sex with them only them....usually. ;D
I am a teenage female and I think both looks and personality is important to me. However, when it comes to maintaining a relationship it should be about how you solve problems together, how you guys spent time with each other, be there with each other,and how you guys treat each other.
My first question is, what is most important to you when looking for a boyfriend / girlfriend? Include things like your age, your sex, (you can say if you prefer men, women, both, whichever this is for everyone of every sexuality.) Not only, what is most important to you, what other things matter? (If anything besides looks.)
Well i been in love once before, it with a girl i never thought i would fall in love with. She actually asked me out on the first date, being seventeen i was pretty.... trying to think of the word... Stupid around women. She was a lot smarter than i was, she was a writer, we went to high school together, Lets just say we got married five years later. I think the reason why our relationship worked as well as it did we started off as really best friends and it progressed from there. Things didn't work out, went to the army and here we are now.
Now i am 28 years old, if i was being serious i would want that kind of personal relationship again with someone.
And bottom line, do men only date based off of looks? I'm not saying that in the whole of things, men are just looking for the hottest chick to bang. (Which, me personally, with all my experiences, this is the case and they don't want to admit it for fear of lash back.)
No, i liked my wife because because she made me laugh. Not many people can do that, especially now a days. I don't date often, maybe once a week. Mostly because people freak out about stupid things i do, because of my PTSD. Its really hard to find someone who doesn't judge you on a day by day basis. We started out as friends and i guess in the initial attraction i loved her Big Goofy Black Flame Glasses. I would tease her a little bit, then she would get mad and make fun of me.
I get that being attracted to someone is incredibly important, but is it really all that matters anymore?
Love is all we got in life. Everything else is ugly, cherish the beautiful.
I'm 17 and male, and I only like women. Honestly, looks are the first thing. But other stuff are important too, I wouldn't be with a girl if I didn't like her for her. I've talked to girls who are very attractive but I didn't like them at, in fact I hated them.
I don't think there's anything worthwhile in me or my personality to be attracted to, and as for kids, it's also because I don't think I have anything useful to impact them with. I'd be a poor father, IMO.
I know how you feel, its not that i don't want kids, making them like me.
Hello, I'm Lingvort, I'm 56 and I'm an alcoholic. I live in a box out in the street or, occasionally, in abandoned basements. I keep myself … morewarm with burning paper and/or vodka I stole from a local liquor store.
Well, fine, jokes aside. My name doesn't matter. I'm 17-year old heterosexual male. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but, knowing my personality and looks, I'm not likely to any time soon. I value personality more than looks, but if both happen to be decent enough, that's jackpot.
I also wouldn't want to marry or have kids, and not just because I don't want to take care of kids or be committed to my spouse, but because I don't think there's anything worthwhile in me or my personality to be attracted to, and as for kids, it's also because I don't think I have anything useful to impact them with. I'd be a poor father, IMO.
Now, with this little confession concluded, I'm off to look for another box...
My first question is, what is most important to you when looking for a boyfriend / girlfriend? Include things like your age, your sex, (you … morecan say if you prefer men, women, both, whichever this is for everyone of every sexuality.) Not only, what is most important to you, what other things matter? (If anything besides looks.)
Well i been in love once before, it with a girl i never thought i would fall in love with. She actually asked me out on the first date, being seventeen i was pretty.... trying to think of the word... Stupid around women. She was a lot smarter than i was, she was a writer, we went to high school together, Lets just say we got married five years later. I think the reason why our relationship worked as well as it did we started off as really best friends and it progressed from there. Things didn't work out, went to the army and here we are now.
Now i am 28 years old, if i was being serious i would want that k… [view original content]
Well for me, a woman has got to be beautiful.
Personally, I'm partial to blondes with blue eyes, but I also like redheads.
I like women who are slim, but not to where they look anorexic.
I don't like women who have tattoos, as I feel that they spoil a woman's beauty.
In fact I don't think tattoos look good, period.
However, no matter how stunning the woman is, is if she is stuck-up and self-entitled, than she is not worth my time.
A woman has to have a pleasant personality, in order for me to stick around.
I learned a long time ago, that if a woman is selfish and stuck-up, then she is just not worth it, no matter how beautiful she is; nor how mind-blowing the sex is.
A terrible attitude, will make everything else wear thin really fast.
So my personal advice would be, based on experience, is get to know a woman, before you decide you ask her out.
And in that way, you'll potentially save yourself a lot of irritation.
The best way to see what a person is, is to watch how they treat their parents.
Even if they treat others well, if they act shitty with their parents, that tells you how they'll treat people they are close with.
And obviously, don't be quick to move in with a woman, after you've started dating her.
Even though you are now technically a couple, take it slow, and get to know her as your girlfriend.
If she wants you to move in immediately, or soon after you start dating, that tells you there's something wrong, as living together is a HUGE step, and one that requires a lot of thought.
Speaking from personal experience, if she's very insistant on the two of you moving in together after you've only been dating a short time, your best move in that case would be to move on.
Of course this advice applies to both men and women.
I'm 33 and male. I like women who have more personality than looks. I like an attractive woman, but, from my experience, a lot of them are up themselves and think they can get any guy they want. That is so unattractive to me. I look for these qualities:
Well for me, a woman has got to be beautiful.
Personally, I'm partial to blondes with blue eyes, but I also like redheads.
I like women wh… moreo are slim, but not to where they look anorexic.
I don't like women who have tattoos, as I feel that they spoil a woman's beauty.
In fact I don't think tattoos look good, period.
However, no matter how stunning the woman is, is if she is stuck-up and self-entitled, than she is not worth my time.
A woman has to have a pleasant personality, in order for me to stick around.
I learned a long time ago, that if a woman is selfish and stuck-up, then she is just not worth it, no matter how beautiful she is; nor how mind-blowing the sex is.
A terrible attitude, will make everything else wear thin really fast.
So my personal advice would be, based on experience, is get to know a woman, before you decide you ask her out.
And in that way, you'll potentially save yourself a lot of irritation.
The best way… [view original content]
Personally, I value integrity, maturity, values/morals, personality, and a clear idea of what he wants in life more than attractiveness. He need to be honest with me and not only needs to have the guts to admit when he messed up/is in the wrong, but also to call me out if I'm in the wrong/have wronged him. I don't date to play games, when I date I am seriously considering building a family and spending the rest of my life with him, if he isn't looking for the same thing, he's not worth my time. My values and morals have shaped me into the person I am today, so my ideal man will share the same values and morals. I refuse to be a phase to help him "find himself", I won't put up with men who waver and are indecisive because they don't know if they want to commit or not. I won't be just a pretty thing to hang off his shoulder,so if he doesn't value my opinion on important matters, then I won't date him. Just as I won't look at him only for his looks, or as somebody who needs to appease my every whim. Basically, the way I wish to be treated is the way I will treat him, so he must have that same kind of mindset. We must be equals, If I am to be his, he must also be mine. I can confide in him, and he can confide in me. I will do everything in my power to bring him peace and happiness, and I expect the same in return. Relationships for me, it's not just about sexual chemistry or how hot the guy is, it's about having an equal partnership in life.
I don't think all men only care about looks, but unfortunately that doesn't mean they aren't out there. Plenty of girls only date for looks as well, I unfortunately know girls who refuse to give a guy a chance if they aren't as hot as they are. The problem with dating today is that people don't take it seriously, and society has downplayed the importance of building a family. You and I seem to have old fashioned views on the matter, and I could go on for days about how much I hate the way my generation treats traditional values, but that would be akin to opening up Pandora's Box. Once I start ranting, I can't stop lol.
Joking aside, I suppose I would have to say that personality is more important. My thought process generally doesn't revolve around the idea of: "Oh look, this girl is really attractive, I totally want to date her!". I would never date a girl for the simple fact that I find her good looking. If anything, good looks can raise an interest to get to know the person, but again, good looks alone aren't ever going to be enough for me.
Overall though, it's really hard for me to define what I'm looking for. Sitting here right now, I don't know that I can really even put words to it. I can't define the perfect girl, and I don't know that I would want to anyway, because it doesn't matter. I just know that I will know when I see her (not literally a love at first sight type of thing, it's more of a growth thing), and that's all that matters. She doesn't have to be a model, she doesn't have to have the warmest-friendliest personality that I know of. I'm going to love her for who she is (as a total package), and how she completes me. So not to give you an incredibly vague answer here Hollay, but just be yourself, because there is more than likely some guy out there that will love you just for who you are, and how you complete him. As long as you keep looking, I am sure you will find what you are looking for.
Although I don't think he worded it as well as he could of, he has a point.
Confidence is a major turn on for guys. I've had guy friends and acquaintances over the years and when they'd tell me who they liked, most of the time it would be a really outgoing and popular girl. I always wondered they chose them when there are shy girls who are far prettier, and I came up with a theory. The majority of guys go after girls with confident and loud personalities because it makes them seem more attractive and desirable. Wearing revealing/tight clothes and makeup also plays a factor. Most tend to not notice the really pretty shy girls because they are not in the spotlight. This is only based on high school observations though, and I know you're college-aged.
People (and yourself) keep telling you who you need to be and what you need to look like in order to find someone. Fuck that! You need to find someone who likes you for you, not for who you pretend to be. Do you need to be confident? It certainly helps, but people can still see your beauty without it if they have a good heart. I was an ugly duckling in early middle school and everyone made fun of me and I went through every day thinking I was hideous and that no boy would ever look at me twice. Then I found out that there WERE boys who liked me, even though I was so unsure of myself.
I know it's hard, but try telling yourself that you are beautiful. Just because you aren't a size 0 or that boys aren't running after your heels doesn't mean you aren't.
Although I don't think he worded it as well as he could of, he has a point.
Confidence is a major turn on for guys. I've had guy friends … moreand acquaintances over the years and when they'd tell me who they liked, most of the time it would be a really outgoing and popular girl. I always wondered they chose them when there are shy girls who are far prettier, and I came up with a theory. The majority of guys go after girls with confident and loud personalities because it makes them seem more attractive and desirable. Wearing revealing/tight clothes and makeup also plays a factor. Most tend to not notice the really pretty shy girls because they are not in the spotlight. This is only based on high school observations though, and I know you're college-aged.
People (and yourself) keep telling you who you need to be and what you need to look like in order to find someone. Fuck that! You need to find someone who likes you for you, not for who you p… [view original content]
Then just start out asking out every girl on that site, that is what i do. The key thing is bro, make it into a game. Tell yourself you want to be rejected. Eventually one will say yeah, they always do.
I gotta admit, I'm not really for casual relationships, either.
The last woman I dated, I was committed to her.
I didn't flirt with other women, I didn't even check other women out!
And I also have to agree, dating should be taken more seriously.
If someone is looking for casual sex, which in itself is ok, that's what brothels are for, and Nevada has quite a few of them.
But if someone is looking for something more, then they should start dating.
And both parties need to take it seriously, as if one doesn't, it can lead to the other person getting hurt.
Whether or not it actually works out between the two people who are dating, is not really the point.
The purpose behind dating should be to find out if this is truly someone you wanna live with, or get married to, during which time anything can happen.
You might meet someone you really like, but the longer you date them, you may find things about them; qualities that you don't want in a spouse, or qualities that are undesirable, period.
In that case, it would be a wise thing to break up with that person.
So in reality, dating should be reserved for only serious minded people.
Personally, I value integrity, maturity, values/morals, personality, and a clear idea of what he wants in life more than attractiveness. He … moreneed to be honest with me and not only needs to have the guts to admit when he messed up/is in the wrong, but also to call me out if I'm in the wrong/have wronged him. I don't date to play games, when I date I am seriously considering building a family and spending the rest of my life with him, if he isn't looking for the same thing, he's not worth my time. My values and morals have shaped me into the person I am today, so my ideal man will share the same values and morals. I refuse to be a phase to help him "find himself", I won't put up with men who waver and are indecisive because they don't know if they want to commit or not. I won't be just a pretty thing to hang off his shoulder,so if he doesn't value my opinion on important matters, then I won't date him. Just as I won't look at him only for his lo… [view original content]
Those are good qualities both to have as a person, and to look for in others.
Kudos!
Personally, I hate women who are stuck-up, are self-entitled, and disrespectful.
I dated a woman was like that once.
And I was so happy to break up with her!
I'm 33 and male. I like women who have more personality than looks. I like an attractive woman, but, from my experience, a lot of them are u… morep themselves and think they can get any guy they want. That is so unattractive to me. I look for these qualities:
* Funny
* Good self-esteem
* Secure in herself.
* Down to earth
Comments
Personality is definetely more important than physical attractiveness, but looks do help haha. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been told I'm quite an attractive guy, and I've been interested in and dated, not so attractive girls. People would even give us 'wtf' looks sometimes haha.
Idk, I would like to think humans had the self awareness of their biological urges to not just choose a partner based on looks. I've never been much into sex (low sex drive, idfk), and don't plan on procreating, so I couldn't give a toss about someones genes.
I understand people can't choose their genes, so I won't judge them for it. Looks truly don't matter to me. Then I suppose it could be argued you can't choose you're personality, but I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole haha.
(Didn't mean to reply, sorry)
Totally understand since I've been on the same boat.
My names Jamie(most people call me James), I'm a male, and I'm 19. Honestly I've never had a girlfriend, not that I don't want one, but I just never found the right person for me(and I'm not the best looking guy). I guess what I look for most in women is a good personality and while looks are nice they aren't really important. Basically, what I'm trying to say is as long as the girl has a good personality and we connect then nothing else matters. So In short I much prefer Personality over Looks.
P.S: Sorry if that was hard to read. My grammar sucks
I believe it's 'toot' your own horn... Blow your own horn sounds... a bit... impossible.
;D
Not really, you can fake it easily but having true confidence is hard.
Hello, I'm Lingvort, I'm 56 and I'm an alcoholic. I live in a box out in the street or, occasionally, in abandoned basements. I keep myself warm with burning paper and/or vodka I stole from a local liquor store.
Well, fine, jokes aside. My name doesn't matter. I'm 17-year old heterosexual male. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but, knowing my personality and looks, I'm not likely to any time soon. I value personality more than looks, but if both happen to be decent enough, that's jackpot.
I also wouldn't want to marry or have kids, and not just because I don't want to take care of kids or be committed to my spouse, but because I don't think there's anything worthwhile in me or my personality to be attracted to, and as for kids, it's also because I don't think I have anything useful to impact them with. I'd be a poor father, IMO.
Now, with this little confession concluded, I'm off to look for another box...
It's definitely blow in the uk :P
The trouble with saying 'men are hard-wired to do x' is that clearly some aren't and so the statement is 100% untrue :P
It's been starting in intellectual liberal circles. At my old university for which I am still allowed to attend talks, Oxford, there have been more and more lectures debating why humans limit themselves to one partner and stuff. Particularly in the 3rd week of term this year, which was gender and sexuality week.
The limiting factor is that it annoys the religious fundies, but they were annoyed at interracial marriages and homosexual relationships, we get over caring what they think about other people pretty quickly.
I really like this gif.
I'm 16, Male. I haven't thought too much about Love and all that, I'm more of the person that thinks of what to do as it happens.
For Looks, I don't much care what they look like. They don't have to be really pretty, I'm more of a personality kind of person.
For personality, They have to be caring and nice. and have an open mind. And trust is a must, I have had a lot of bad memories because i trusted the wrong people. I want to make sure that doesn't happen again.
Is it weird if liking someone's personality triggers a physical attraction towards them?
I favour personality over looks, to be with someone, I have to know if I'll be compatible and feel alright about who they truly are and feel ok being called their special friend. It's kind of like books, do you prefer the cover the holds the story? Or you do you prefer the story that unfolds beyond the covers?
Attractiveness takes a distant backseat to personality, at least for me. Not to sound like a dick, but I also prefer my partner to be intelligent enough to relate to my interests.
It's not so much about sex as a lot of younger people tend to think. Long-term relationships aren't about finding someone that you want to fuck....that's what casual sex is for. It's about finding someone and enjoying their company so much that you want to have sex with them only them....usually. ;D
I am a teenage female and I think both looks and personality is important to me. However, when it comes to maintaining a relationship it should be about how you solve problems together, how you guys spent time with each other, be there with each other,and how you guys treat each other.
Its 'blow my own trumpet' isn't it, haha
;(
I thought that was how you say it here, haha
Well i been in love once before, it with a girl i never thought i would fall in love with. She actually asked me out on the first date, being seventeen i was pretty.... trying to think of the word... Stupid around women. She was a lot smarter than i was, she was a writer, we went to high school together, Lets just say we got married five years later. I think the reason why our relationship worked as well as it did we started off as really best friends and it progressed from there. Things didn't work out, went to the army and here we are now.
Now i am 28 years old, if i was being serious i would want that kind of personal relationship again with someone.
No, i liked my wife because because she made me laugh. Not many people can do that, especially now a days. I don't date often, maybe once a week. Mostly because people freak out about stupid things i do, because of my PTSD. Its really hard to find someone who doesn't judge you on a day by day basis. We started out as friends and i guess in the initial attraction i loved her Big Goofy Black Flame Glasses. I would tease her a little bit, then she would get mad and make fun of me.
Love is all we got in life. Everything else is ugly, cherish the beautiful.
RUNNING
I'm 17 and male, and I only like women. Honestly, looks are the first thing. But other stuff are important too, I wouldn't be with a girl if I didn't like her for her. I've talked to girls who are very attractive but I didn't like them at, in fact I hated them.
I know how you feel, its not that i don't want kids, making them like me.
Love is all we have in life and everything else is ugly? Nah, maybe for you.
Well for me, a woman has got to be beautiful.
Personally, I'm partial to blondes with blue eyes, but I also like redheads.
I like women who are slim, but not to where they look anorexic.
I don't like women who have tattoos, as I feel that they spoil a woman's beauty.
In fact I don't think tattoos look good, period.
However, no matter how stunning the woman is, is if she is stuck-up and self-entitled, than she is not worth my time.
A woman has to have a pleasant personality, in order for me to stick around.
I learned a long time ago, that if a woman is selfish and stuck-up, then she is just not worth it, no matter how beautiful she is; nor how mind-blowing the sex is.
A terrible attitude, will make everything else wear thin really fast.
So my personal advice would be, based on experience, is get to know a woman, before you decide you ask her out.
And in that way, you'll potentially save yourself a lot of irritation.
The best way to see what a person is, is to watch how they treat their parents.
Even if they treat others well, if they act shitty with their parents, that tells you how they'll treat people they are close with.
And obviously, don't be quick to move in with a woman, after you've started dating her.
Even though you are now technically a couple, take it slow, and get to know her as your girlfriend.
If she wants you to move in immediately, or soon after you start dating, that tells you there's something wrong, as living together is a HUGE step, and one that requires a lot of thought.
Speaking from personal experience, if she's very insistant on the two of you moving in together after you've only been dating a short time, your best move in that case would be to move on.
Of course this advice applies to both men and women.
I'm 33 and male. I like women who have more personality than looks. I like an attractive woman, but, from my experience, a lot of them are up themselves and think they can get any guy they want. That is so unattractive to me. I look for these qualities:
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Personally, I value integrity, maturity, values/morals, personality, and a clear idea of what he wants in life more than attractiveness. He need to be honest with me and not only needs to have the guts to admit when he messed up/is in the wrong, but also to call me out if I'm in the wrong/have wronged him. I don't date to play games, when I date I am seriously considering building a family and spending the rest of my life with him, if he isn't looking for the same thing, he's not worth my time. My values and morals have shaped me into the person I am today, so my ideal man will share the same values and morals. I refuse to be a phase to help him "find himself", I won't put up with men who waver and are indecisive because they don't know if they want to commit or not. I won't be just a pretty thing to hang off his shoulder,so if he doesn't value my opinion on important matters, then I won't date him. Just as I won't look at him only for his looks, or as somebody who needs to appease my every whim. Basically, the way I wish to be treated is the way I will treat him, so he must have that same kind of mindset. We must be equals, If I am to be his, he must also be mine. I can confide in him, and he can confide in me. I will do everything in my power to bring him peace and happiness, and I expect the same in return. Relationships for me, it's not just about sexual chemistry or how hot the guy is, it's about having an equal partnership in life.
I don't think all men only care about looks, but unfortunately that doesn't mean they aren't out there. Plenty of girls only date for looks as well, I unfortunately know girls who refuse to give a guy a chance if they aren't as hot as they are. The problem with dating today is that people don't take it seriously, and society has downplayed the importance of building a family. You and I seem to have old fashioned views on the matter, and I could go on for days about how much I hate the way my generation treats traditional values, but that would be akin to opening up Pandora's Box. Once I start ranting, I can't stop lol.
I just want someone to love me.
Joking aside, I suppose I would have to say that personality is more important. My thought process generally doesn't revolve around the idea of: "Oh look, this girl is really attractive, I totally want to date her!". I would never date a girl for the simple fact that I find her good looking. If anything, good looks can raise an interest to get to know the person, but again, good looks alone aren't ever going to be enough for me.
Overall though, it's really hard for me to define what I'm looking for. Sitting here right now, I don't know that I can really even put words to it. I can't define the perfect girl, and I don't know that I would want to anyway, because it doesn't matter. I just know that I will know when I see her (not literally a love at first sight type of thing, it's more of a growth thing), and that's all that matters. She doesn't have to be a model, she doesn't have to have the warmest-friendliest personality that I know of. I'm going to love her for who she is (as a total package), and how she completes me. So not to give you an incredibly vague answer here Hollay, but just be yourself, because there is more than likely some guy out there that will love you just for who you are, and how you complete him. As long as you keep looking, I am sure you will find what you are looking for.
Although I don't think he worded it as well as he could of, he has a point.
Confidence is a major turn on for guys. I've had guy friends and acquaintances over the years and when they'd tell me who they liked, most of the time it would be a really outgoing and popular girl. I always wondered they chose them when there are shy girls who are far prettier, and I came up with a theory. The majority of guys go after girls with confident and loud personalities because it makes them seem more attractive and desirable. Wearing revealing/tight clothes and makeup also plays a factor. Most tend to not notice the really pretty shy girls because they are not in the spotlight. This is only based on high school observations though, and I know you're college-aged.
People (and yourself) keep telling you who you need to be and what you need to look like in order to find someone. Fuck that! You need to find someone who likes you for you, not for who you pretend to be. Do you need to be confident? It certainly helps, but people can still see your beauty without it if they have a good heart. I was an ugly duckling in early middle school and everyone made fun of me and I went through every day thinking I was hideous and that no boy would ever look at me twice. Then I found out that there WERE boys who liked me, even though I was so unsure of myself.
I know it's hard, but try telling yourself that you are beautiful. Just because you aren't a size 0 or that boys aren't running after your heels doesn't mean you aren't.
This is immensely true.
Yavole!
Lol.
Lobster Claws
It's actually "jawohl", just for your information.
A pulse.
I'm willing to compromise though.
I hear ya bro,
Get on match.com
Then just start out asking out every girl on that site, that is what i do. The key thing is bro, make it into a game. Tell yourself you want to be rejected. Eventually one will say yeah, they always do.
I gotta admit, I'm not really for casual relationships, either.
The last woman I dated, I was committed to her.
I didn't flirt with other women, I didn't even check other women out!
And I also have to agree, dating should be taken more seriously.
If someone is looking for casual sex, which in itself is ok, that's what brothels are for, and Nevada has quite a few of them.
But if someone is looking for something more, then they should start dating.
And both parties need to take it seriously, as if one doesn't, it can lead to the other person getting hurt.
Whether or not it actually works out between the two people who are dating, is not really the point.
The purpose behind dating should be to find out if this is truly someone you wanna live with, or get married to, during which time anything can happen.
You might meet someone you really like, but the longer you date them, you may find things about them; qualities that you don't want in a spouse, or qualities that are undesirable, period.
In that case, it would be a wise thing to break up with that person.
So in reality, dating should be reserved for only serious minded people.
Those are good qualities both to have as a person, and to look for in others.
Kudos!
Personally, I hate women who are stuck-up, are self-entitled, and disrespectful.
I dated a woman was like that once.
And I was so happy to break up with her!