Sorry for being a dick yesterday, I was in a mood and wanted to take it out on someone. I normally stay off the forum when I'm being stupid to avoid stuff like this
$60/day is $1800/month, and that's just for the weed. Think about what you might be able to do with that. If you can wean yourself off the drugs, that's a good step toward getting your life back in order. (I'm glad you're off the opium and Xanax - a lot of people don't manage that!)
Asking out every girl you see is not really the way to get over one you truly loved. Sex without love is no comparison. If you want to find real love again, though, you need to get yourself back on track. Be someone you can be happy to be, or at least not miserable.
There are places you can seek help, but it only works if you want to.
$60/day is $1800/month, and that's just for the weed. Think about what you might be able to do with that. If you can wean yourself off the… more drugs, that's a good step toward getting your life back in order. (I'm glad you're off the opium and Xanax - a lot of people don't manage that!)
Asking out every girl you see is not really the way to get over one you truly loved. Sex without love is no comparison. If you want to find real love again, though, you need to get yourself back on track. Be someone you can be happy to be, or at least not miserable.
There are places you can seek help, but it only works if you want to.
Want to hear something funny about psychologists? OK, I lied, it isn't funny. Psychologists go into the field they're in because they want to help people figure out how to solve their own problems and transition into a better place than they are now. They also specialize, so for example, you might want to seek out a psychologist who specializes in substance abuse, and he/she will be a good resource in getting off the drugs. The thing is, when a psychologist sees you suffering in another way outside of his/her specialty, he/she will still want to help, but may find him/herself in way over his/her head, possibly making things worse. The substance abuse psychologist might try to help you with your panic attacks without understanding the situation, for example. That may be the source of your bad luck earlier. Keep this in mind, and maybe your next experience will be a better one.
Good luck!
Oh, and I'm sure mom will understand about the wedding. Ask her to video it and send you a copy, and wish her well in spirit.
I've always been taught that talking about your problems you're a baby and you're complaining. Like my mom and dad like to say, "It could always be worse. So shut your mouth and deal with your problems quietly because we don't want to deal with your issues."
Okay, the first sentence is what they say, the second sentence is what they mean. But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents because I'll get in trouble later. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, so much so that it's ruined friendships and made me miss out on a lot of once in a lifetime life experiences. Worst of all, I have a extreme fear of throwing up, so my anxiety almost always makes me nauseous, so, there's a lot of things I can't enjoy due to me fear of throwing up.
Other than that, I live with two people whom deal with depression but refuse to find help for it. And when I try to help, I can't actually do anything. So, in the face of two clinically depressed people my issues are overlooked because I'm not 'clinically diagnosed'. So, I feel guilty when I am sad. So, yes, I feel guilty for just about anything I feel. -__-
But it's not all that bad. I've learned from getting out and meeting people my life isn't solely supposed to focus on my family, I've learned that I can live for myself and do what I want because it's who I am and it's what makes me happy, even if the people around me like to make fun of me for it. My books and stories and imagination have saved me, literally. Because of everything I've had to deal with, I feel like in the end I was still blessed with a creative personality that was cultivated and flourished due to me having to live within myself instead of outside in the world. Maybe my life isn't perfect and never will be, but I like who I am and I would've have had my experiences any other way if it meant I wouldn't be who I am today.
I'm here for you, if you ever need me. PM me or text, call, come over-whatever you need, I'm here. I'll say this a million times: I'm so sorry this happened to you. This should NEVER happen, to anyone. You're not a freak or a loser. Thise shit takes time. Ryan seems like a swell guy and loves you, despite what you say.
This is difficult for me to say but hopefully one day it may help another person either here on this forum or in real life, who may be deali… moreng with the same bs.
I have severe trust and commitment issues. I can't tell you how many boyfriends I've gone through over the last few years. (I'm male) I'm currently in a relationship now with the most wonderful, caring and understanding man. He takes his time with me and does not expect too much, considering he knows a bit from my past.
I was sexually violated at a young age by my mother's boyfriend at the time. My mother did not believe me because at the time, this guy was providing the majority of the income; she was afraid if I said anything, they would take him away and we'd be on the streets. This happened for a year until she came home and found me naked and unconscience in the bathtub. I don't remember much of that day, to be honest. It was as if I was asleep.
I did need an operation … [view original content]
But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents []. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
This is pretty much exactly the same thing with me.
I've always been taught that talking about your problems you're a baby and you're complaining. Like my mom and dad like to say, "It could al… moreways be worse. So shut your mouth and deal with your problems quietly because we don't want to deal with your issues."
Okay, the first sentence is what they say, the second sentence is what they mean. But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents because I'll get in trouble later. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, so much so that it's ruined friendships and made me miss out on a lot of once in a lifetime life experiences. Worst of all, I have a extreme fear of throwing up, so my anxiety almost always makes me nauseou… [view original content]
There's a fine line between talking about our problems and asking for help, and bitching about our problems and begging for attention. We probably were taught they were one in the same when obviously they're not. :<
But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how u… morencomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents []. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
This is pretty much exactly the same thing with me.
It's weird with me because I'm personally more than ready to help people with whatever problems they may be going through without judgement, but when I'm on the opposite end of that, I feel like I'm being a push over, or being selfish in expressing things that other people may or may not want to hear.
There's a fine line between talking about our problems and asking for help, and bitching about our problems and begging for attention. We probably were taught they were one in the same when obviously they're not. :<
I feel the same way. I always feel like when I talk to my friends about my problems, I sound like an attention whore and that I'm making out my problems worse than they are. :< In the back of my head, all I ever hear is my parents saying, "it could be worse. You could have cancer, you could be disabled, you could be stupid. blah blah blah." It's best I just shut up now. ;^;
True.
It's weird with me because I'm personally more than ready to help people with whatever problems they may be going through without j… moreudgement, but when I'm on the opposite end of that, I feel like I'm being a push over, or being selfish in expressing things that other people may or may not want to hear.
Things could almost certainly always be worse. There are definitely people out there that live very hard lives, and I wouldn't really mistake myself for someone in that kind of situation. But people need to understand the legitimacy of personal struggles, and understand the weight that they can carry, even in the cases of them being irrational. It can be a difficult thing to handle, and it's unfortunate that not everyone understands.
In some ways I guess it can be good that I'm hard on myself though. It can help me to move forward and change, even if I'm pretty unfair to myself in the process.
I feel the same way. I always feel like when I talk to my friends about my problems, I sound like an attention whore and that I'm making out… more my problems worse than they are. :< In the back of my head, all I ever hear is my parents saying, "it could be worse. You could have cancer, you could be disabled, you could be stupid. blah blah blah." It's best I just shut up now. ;^;
This is difficult for me to say but hopefully one day it may help another person either here on this forum or in real life, who may be deali… moreng with the same bs.
I have severe trust and commitment issues. I can't tell you how many boyfriends I've gone through over the last few years. (I'm male) I'm currently in a relationship now with the most wonderful, caring and understanding man. He takes his time with me and does not expect too much, considering he knows a bit from my past.
I was sexually violated at a young age by my mother's boyfriend at the time. My mother did not believe me because at the time, this guy was providing the majority of the income; she was afraid if I said anything, they would take him away and we'd be on the streets. This happened for a year until she came home and found me naked and unconscience in the bathtub. I don't remember much of that day, to be honest. It was as if I was asleep.
I did need an operation … [view original content]
$60/day is $1800/month, and that's just for the weed. Think about what you might be able to do with that. If you can wean yourself off the drugs, that's a good step toward getting your life back in order. (I'm glad you're off the opium and Xanax - a lot of people don't manage that!)
$60/day is $1800/month, and that's just for the weed. Think about what you might be able to do with that. If you can wean yourself off the… more drugs, that's a good step toward getting your life back in order. (I'm glad you're off the opium and Xanax - a lot of people don't manage that!)
Asking out every girl you see is not really the way to get over one you truly loved. Sex without love is no comparison. If you want to find real love again, though, you need to get yourself back on track. Be someone you can be happy to be, or at least not miserable.
There are places you can seek help, but it only works if you want to.
But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling
Your a great person, you can always talk to me if you need to, I check my feed at least once a day.
And when I try to help, I can't actually do anything.
You can't change how people feel about themselves, I've tried. You can only change yourself. Try to set a example for people in your life, and hope that they take notice of it. I been trying to live a happier life, trying to get over this depression mountain i been stuck on for years, things that help me, is trying to be more positive, be your best friend, not your worst enemy.
Another thing i stopped is, i avoid negativity in my life. I don't read Daily mail anymore, i don't watch fox news, any trigger that would upset me, i just avoid now.
I've always been taught that talking about your problems you're a baby and you're complaining. Like my mom and dad like to say, "It could al… moreways be worse. So shut your mouth and deal with your problems quietly because we don't want to deal with your issues."
Okay, the first sentence is what they say, the second sentence is what they mean. But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents because I'll get in trouble later. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, so much so that it's ruined friendships and made me miss out on a lot of once in a lifetime life experiences. Worst of all, I have a extreme fear of throwing up, so my anxiety almost always makes me nauseou… [view original content]
Normally I try to avoid this kinds of threads because they make me feel sad, but since I'm feeling pretty shaky and don't have anyone I can talk to right now, I'm joining you all right here.
Hope you don't mind a longer story - I've been dealing with depression (or even some kind of emotional paralysis, if that's a proper term) since the day my little brother died. If you wondering why I came to talk with you guys, well, I almost caused a fucking car accident today. Like, two hours ago. And I feel so bad about this, because afterwards I found out that was a little kid in the second car. Thankfully no one got hurt, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the kid or someone else.
My problem is simple - I easily fall into depression, and it's because these seemingly trivial matters overwhelm me sometimes. It's mostly connected to college or my crappy part-time work (let's face it, I have money problems). I kinda learned how to handle it, but it obviously didn't make the problem go away.
And I'm addicted to caffeine, if it counts. I hate it.
Near-car-crashes (and actual car crashes) are not trivial. Whenever I'm in one, the sound of crunching metal haunts me for a week. So don't worry about being shaky a couple of hours later. I'm glad it didn't happen this time.
Caffeine is actually something you can successfully cut back slowly on. Start by drinking/taking a little less on days where it doesn't matter (you don't have to stay up late or stay alert).
Normally I try to avoid this kinds of threads because they make me feel sad, but since I'm feeling pretty shaky and don't have anyone I can … moretalk to right now, I'm joining you all right here.
Hope you don't mind a longer story - I've been dealing with depression (or even some kind of emotional paralysis, if that's a proper term) since the day my little brother died. If you wondering why I came to talk with you guys, well, I almost caused a fucking car accident today. Like, two hours ago. And I feel so bad about this, because afterwards I found out that was a little kid in the second car. Thankfully no one got hurt, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the kid or someone else.
My problem is simple - I easily fall into depression, and it's because these seemingly trivial matters overwhelm me sometimes. It's mostly connected to college or my crappy part-time work (let's face it, I have money problems). I kinda learned h… [view original content]
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm convinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
I also have a similar problem with caffeine, if I don't have it I start getting shakes and I start popping pills to make migraines go away, which can't be good. I think I'm starting to get addicted to something
Normally I try to avoid this kinds of threads because they make me feel sad, but since I'm feeling pretty shaky and don't have anyone I can … moretalk to right now, I'm joining you all right here.
Hope you don't mind a longer story - I've been dealing with depression (or even some kind of emotional paralysis, if that's a proper term) since the day my little brother died. If you wondering why I came to talk with you guys, well, I almost caused a fucking car accident today. Like, two hours ago. And I feel so bad about this, because afterwards I found out that was a little kid in the second car. Thankfully no one got hurt, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the kid or someone else.
My problem is simple - I easily fall into depression, and it's because these seemingly trivial matters overwhelm me sometimes. It's mostly connected to college or my crappy part-time work (let's face it, I have money problems). I kinda learned h… [view original content]
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm con… morevinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
One thing that hounts me is that kid's scared face. I can't help but picture my dead brother as him. He died in the car accident and all of that is now coming back to me. It might sound funny, but I really need to stay focused right now, can't let my thoughts overshadow real life. And that's why I keep drinking coffee, because it seems to be helping.
Near-car-crashes (and actual car crashes) are not trivial. Whenever I'm in one, the sound of crunching metal haunts me for a week. So don'… moret worry about being shaky a couple of hours later. I'm glad it didn't happen this time.
Caffeine is actually something you can successfully cut back slowly on. Start by drinking/taking a little less on days where it doesn't matter (you don't have to stay up late or stay alert).
I used to have migraines, I regret taking pills. Your body will get used to taking a certain pill and sooner or later pills stop to help you. Try using natural ways to deal with them, like warm baths, more/less sleep, drinking more water, DIY scalp massages, all that home made remedies like scent therapy.
I also have a similar problem with caffeine, if I don't have it I start getting shakes and I start popping pills to make migraines go away, which can't be good. I think I'm starting to get addicted to something
Well, I'm legally blind (surprise!) and had my life fucked up by a nasty bout of ITP a couple years ago. Fine now though.
I'm also slightly depressed and an expert at self-sabotage. My family thinks I'm not outgoing enough, but I'm not shy, so I don't really consider it a problem.
Well, if it happens to be Finals Week, this is probably not the best time to start cutting back on the caffeine.
If you're drinking coffee just to distract yourself, though, there are other things you can do for that. First, imagine the boy in the car as being happy you didn't have the accident. Maybe he's playing a racing game and wants to do it again now! Also imagine your brother in spirit relieved that you weren't hurt yourself. Then go do something completely different and distracting.
One thing that hounts me is that kid's scared face. I can't help but picture my dead brother as him. He died in the car accident and all of … morethat is now coming back to me. It might sound funny, but I really need to stay focused right now, can't let my thoughts overshadow real life. And that's why I keep drinking coffee, because it seems to be helping.
Just kidding. A little extra paranoia helps keep you safe, but with too much, you'll miss out on a lot of life experiences. Sometimes a little (informed) risk is worth taking.
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm con… morevinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
Thanks, I'll try. The problem is I don't really have time to do anything distracting... College classes last until late afternoon, and have night shifts three times in the week. Also, I recently discovered I won't be driving anytime soon, when I reached the wheel this morning my hands were practically shaking. Ugh, it's annoying.
Well, if it happens to be Finals Week, this is probably not the best time to start cutting back on the caffeine.
If you're drinking coffe… moree just to distract yourself, though, there are other things you can do for that. First, imagine the boy in the car as being happy you didn't have the accident. Maybe he's playing a racing game and wants to do it again now! Also imagine your brother in spirit relieved that you weren't hurt yourself. Then go do something completely different and distracting.
My brother died too dude, it sucks. He was older than me. Part of me is over it, but there will always be that part that wishes he was here to do stuff with like get drunk or whatever. Its been about ten years for me.
Normally I try to avoid this kinds of threads because they make me feel sad, but since I'm feeling pretty shaky and don't have anyone I can … moretalk to right now, I'm joining you all right here.
Hope you don't mind a longer story - I've been dealing with depression (or even some kind of emotional paralysis, if that's a proper term) since the day my little brother died. If you wondering why I came to talk with you guys, well, I almost caused a fucking car accident today. Like, two hours ago. And I feel so bad about this, because afterwards I found out that was a little kid in the second car. Thankfully no one got hurt, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the kid or someone else.
My problem is simple - I easily fall into depression, and it's because these seemingly trivial matters overwhelm me sometimes. It's mostly connected to college or my crappy part-time work (let's face it, I have money problems). I kinda learned h… [view original content]
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm con… morevinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
As long as you're happy, this could be a good thing. Well... minus the feelings of paranoia, but I guess that's sort of a taking the good with the bad type of situation. It's good that you're protective of yourself. I mean, "severe" paranoia sounds a little burdening, but if not, then you're probably all good.
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm con… morevinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
The only problem I've got is that I lost hope in humanity and in myself.
I ask "Why I keep breathing and why do I keep thinking? How many did I hurt?" I want to end me in endless nothingness, just leave my bad acts in forgotten deepness. I can't pretend that I will forget my shame. I am a normal dude with deep regrets: speaking, acting and people he forgets. I try help everybody, but the bad in me is my behavior. Scratching a lover and finding a foe, and I'm sure I did do more. More I help, more I hurt. Less I help, more I hurt.I want to know who I will be, but I am afraid to know who I am. The truth I really want to see, but that will show me who I really am. May death take my life, because what I have done is what I am. From myself I want to be free since being human is the bad I am.
But, besides from that, I cannot complain, because there are worse things to care about. Out there is hunger, poverty, hate and shame.
Also, I recently discovered I won't be driving anytime soon, when I reached the wheel this morning my hands were practically shaking. Ugh, it's annoying.
I know the feeling. It didn't help that I replaced my totaled car with the exact same model, with nearly an identical interior.
Thanks, I'll try. The problem is I don't really have time to do anything distracting... College classes last until late afternoon, and have … morenight shifts three times in the week. Also, I recently discovered I won't be driving anytime soon, when I reached the wheel this morning my hands were practically shaking. Ugh, it's annoying.
My brother died too dude, it sucks. He was older than me. Part of me is over it, but there will always be that part that wishes he was here to do stuff with like get drunk or whatever. Its been about ten years for me.
Comments
Anything foul that I smell I think its me and I won't talk to anyone for days. Its pretty bad.
That sucks, hopefully one day you can find some peace in this. My PTSD makes me isolate myself, so i know how you feel in a way i guess.
It's okay, sorry if I was aggressive, things like that piss me off.
I hope we both find peace George.
nvm..
It's okay buddy.
This is a place of acceptance.
$60/day is $1800/month, and that's just for the weed. Think about what you might be able to do with that. If you can wean yourself off the drugs, that's a good step toward getting your life back in order. (I'm glad you're off the opium and Xanax - a lot of people don't manage that!)
Asking out every girl you see is not really the way to get over one you truly loved. Sex without love is no comparison. If you want to find real love again, though, you need to get yourself back on track. Be someone you can be happy to be, or at least not miserable.
There are places you can seek help, but it only works if you want to.
...
Sometimes people are dicks to me so then I start acting like a dick. It makes me sad that I'm like this. I try not to be an ass.
Well, i'm pretty anxious, and i often overthing things, from social interactions, to if i closed a door, or turned off the TV.
Want to hear something funny about psychologists? OK, I lied, it isn't funny. Psychologists go into the field they're in because they want to help people figure out how to solve their own problems and transition into a better place than they are now. They also specialize, so for example, you might want to seek out a psychologist who specializes in substance abuse, and he/she will be a good resource in getting off the drugs. The thing is, when a psychologist sees you suffering in another way outside of his/her specialty, he/she will still want to help, but may find him/herself in way over his/her head, possibly making things worse. The substance abuse psychologist might try to help you with your panic attacks without understanding the situation, for example. That may be the source of your bad luck earlier. Keep this in mind, and maybe your next experience will be a better one.
Good luck!
Oh, and I'm sure mom will understand about the wedding. Ask her to video it and send you a copy, and wish her well in spirit.
Ehhhh, on second thought I don't really want to share that. Not entirely sure why I felt compelled to do that.
I've always been taught that talking about your problems you're a baby and you're complaining. Like my mom and dad like to say, "It could always be worse. So shut your mouth and deal with your problems quietly because we don't want to deal with your issues."
Okay, the first sentence is what they say, the second sentence is what they mean. But pretty much I feel extreme guilt when talking about my problems to others, and feel like I'm being an attention whore so no matter how uncomfortable I might be or how bad I'm feeling, I'm determined to never speak of what bothers me in front of others or around my parents because I'll get in trouble later. Either that or I'll beat myself up about it later.
I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, so much so that it's ruined friendships and made me miss out on a lot of once in a lifetime life experiences. Worst of all, I have a extreme fear of throwing up, so my anxiety almost always makes me nauseous, so, there's a lot of things I can't enjoy due to me fear of throwing up.
Other than that, I live with two people whom deal with depression but refuse to find help for it. And when I try to help, I can't actually do anything. So, in the face of two clinically depressed people my issues are overlooked because I'm not 'clinically diagnosed'. So, I feel guilty when I am sad. So, yes, I feel guilty for just about anything I feel. -__-
But it's not all that bad. I've learned from getting out and meeting people my life isn't solely supposed to focus on my family, I've learned that I can live for myself and do what I want because it's who I am and it's what makes me happy, even if the people around me like to make fun of me for it. My books and stories and imagination have saved me, literally. Because of everything I've had to deal with, I feel like in the end I was still blessed with a creative personality that was cultivated and flourished due to me having to live within myself instead of outside in the world. Maybe my life isn't perfect and never will be, but I like who I am and I would've have had my experiences any other way if it meant I wouldn't be who I am today.
I'm here for you, if you ever need me. PM me or text, call, come over-whatever you need, I'm here.
I'll say this a million times: I'm so sorry this happened to you. This should NEVER happen, to anyone. You're not a freak or a loser. Thise shit takes time. Ryan seems like a swell guy and loves you, despite what you say.
Again, I'm here for you.
-hugs-
This is pretty much exactly the same thing with me.
There's a fine line between talking about our problems and asking for help, and bitching about our problems and begging for attention. We probably were taught they were one in the same when obviously they're not. :<
True.
It's weird with me because I'm personally more than ready to help people with whatever problems they may be going through without judgement, but when I'm on the opposite end of that, I feel like I'm being a push over, or being selfish in expressing things that other people may or may not want to hear.
I feel the same way. I always feel like when I talk to my friends about my problems, I sound like an attention whore and that I'm making out my problems worse than they are. :< In the back of my head, all I ever hear is my parents saying, "it could be worse. You could have cancer, you could be disabled, you could be stupid. blah blah blah." It's best I just shut up now. ;^;
Things could almost certainly always be worse. There are definitely people out there that live very hard lives, and I wouldn't really mistake myself for someone in that kind of situation. But people need to understand the legitimacy of personal struggles, and understand the weight that they can carry, even in the cases of them being irrational. It can be a difficult thing to handle, and it's unfortunate that not everyone understands.
In some ways I guess it can be good that I'm hard on myself though. It can help me to move forward and change, even if I'm pretty unfair to myself in the process.
I'm extremely pessimistic to the point that i lost friends because of it.
Jesus Christ man
I think it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.
I self medicate to cure my ailments.
Your a great person, you can always talk to me if you need to, I check my feed at least once a day.
You can't change how people feel about themselves, I've tried. You can only change yourself. Try to set a example for people in your life, and hope that they take notice of it. I been trying to live a happier life, trying to get over this depression mountain i been stuck on for years, things that help me, is trying to be more positive, be your best friend, not your worst enemy.
Another thing i stopped is, i avoid negativity in my life. I don't read Daily mail anymore, i don't watch fox news, any trigger that would upset me, i just avoid now.
Normally I try to avoid this kinds of threads because they make me feel sad, but since I'm feeling pretty shaky and don't have anyone I can talk to right now, I'm joining you all right here.
Hope you don't mind a longer story - I've been dealing with depression (or even some kind of emotional paralysis, if that's a proper term) since the day my little brother died. If you wondering why I came to talk with you guys, well, I almost caused a fucking car accident today. Like, two hours ago. And I feel so bad about this, because afterwards I found out that was a little kid in the second car. Thankfully no one got hurt, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to the kid or someone else.
My problem is simple - I easily fall into depression, and it's because these seemingly trivial matters overwhelm me sometimes. It's mostly connected to college or my crappy part-time work (let's face it, I have money problems). I kinda learned how to handle it, but it obviously didn't make the problem go away.
And I'm addicted to caffeine, if it counts. I hate it.
Near-car-crashes (and actual car crashes) are not trivial. Whenever I'm in one, the sound of crunching metal haunts me for a week. So don't worry about being shaky a couple of hours later. I'm glad it didn't happen this time.
Caffeine is actually something you can successfully cut back slowly on. Start by drinking/taking a little less on days where it doesn't matter (you don't have to stay up late or stay alert).
I don't think I have any mental/emotional detriments to be honest, the only thing that could maybe come close is my severe paranoia. I'm convinced that anyone outside of my family is out to get me, or has ulterior motives for taking interest in me. It takes me months, sometimes years to finally trust a person I'm not related to. Every time I leave my home I leave with the thought that if I let my guard down I could get kidnapped or worse. But even then, I still find my paranoia to be more beneficial, I'd rather be suspicious of everyone than get screwed over or hurt for being too naive. Sometimes I do feel guilty/selfish for sharing any problems I might be having, but I'm pretty sure everyone does at some point.:/
I also have a similar problem with caffeine, if I don't have it I start getting shakes and I start popping pills to make migraines go away, which can't be good. I think I'm starting to get addicted to something
I know the feel sister. I know the feel. I agree though, I'd rather be too suspicious of people rather than be naive and too trusting.
One thing that hounts me is that kid's scared face. I can't help but picture my dead brother as him. He died in the car accident and all of that is now coming back to me. It might sound funny, but I really need to stay focused right now, can't let my thoughts overshadow real life. And that's why I keep drinking coffee, because it seems to be helping.
I used to have migraines, I regret taking pills. Your body will get used to taking a certain pill and sooner or later pills stop to help you. Try using natural ways to deal with them, like warm baths, more/less sleep, drinking more water, DIY scalp massages, all that home made remedies like scent therapy.
Well, I'm legally blind (surprise!) and had my life fucked up by a nasty bout of ITP a couple years ago. Fine now though.
I'm also slightly depressed and an expert at self-sabotage. My family thinks I'm not outgoing enough, but I'm not shy, so I don't really consider it a problem.
Yeah, boring shit really.
Well, if it happens to be Finals Week, this is probably not the best time to start cutting back on the caffeine.
If you're drinking coffee just to distract yourself, though, there are other things you can do for that. First, imagine the boy in the car as being happy you didn't have the accident. Maybe he's playing a racing game and wants to do it again now! Also imagine your brother in spirit relieved that you weren't hurt yourself. Then go do something completely different and distracting.
(Darn, she's on to us!)
Just kidding. A little extra paranoia helps keep you safe, but with too much, you'll miss out on a lot of life experiences. Sometimes a little (informed) risk is worth taking.
Thanks, I'll try. The problem is I don't really have time to do anything distracting... College classes last until late afternoon, and have night shifts three times in the week. Also, I recently discovered I won't be driving anytime soon, when I reached the wheel this morning my hands were practically shaking. Ugh, it's annoying.
My brother died too dude, it sucks. He was older than me. Part of me is over it, but there will always be that part that wishes he was here to do stuff with like get drunk or whatever. Its been about ten years for me.
Do you live in Thailand or something?
As long as you're happy, this could be a good thing. Well... minus the feelings of paranoia, but I guess that's sort of a taking the good with the bad type of situation. It's good that you're protective of yourself. I mean, "severe" paranoia sounds a little burdening, but if not, then you're probably all good.
The only problem I've got is that I lost hope in humanity and in myself.
I ask "Why I keep breathing and why do I keep thinking? How many did I hurt?" I want to end me in endless nothingness, just leave my bad acts in forgotten deepness. I can't pretend that I will forget my shame. I am a normal dude with deep regrets: speaking, acting and people he forgets. I try help everybody, but the bad in me is my behavior. Scratching a lover and finding a foe, and I'm sure I did do more. More I help, more I hurt. Less I help, more I hurt.I want to know who I will be, but I am afraid to know who I am. The truth I really want to see, but that will show me who I really am. May death take my life, because what I have done is what I am. From myself I want to be free since being human is the bad I am.
But, besides from that, I cannot complain, because there are worse things to care about. Out there is hunger, poverty, hate and shame.
I know the feeling. It didn't help that I replaced my totaled car with the exact same model, with nearly an identical interior.
Four years for me, thinking about him every single day.