Writing an interactive story, would like feedback.

edited March 2015 in Forum Games

I really...really... dont want to spoil the story for you, so I'll just let you read it.

https://writer.inklestudios.com/stories/rd69

Now that that's been settled, a few things I should mention: The characters will all be based off of the classes from Valve's Team Fortress 2, you take the role of the soldier. And the person you meet after you leave the house in this story is the Medic.

What can I improve upon?

How can I make the dialogue seem more fluid and natural?

Anything else?

Thank you.

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