Calling all forum users
I need help to create a character for a series I've been working on for about a year and a half now. We have some great writers on this forum so any direction or tips would be much appreciated. Its a fantasy series. I won't get that much into it but in short I'm trying to create the most fucked up character of all time and here is what I've come up with.
The Hunch:
He's enigmatic. We don't know anything about him. His past and real name is unknown. Young kids and infants from one of the villages in my story mysteriously disappear and are never seen again. He kidnaps them then brutally rapes and beats them to the point of severe facial and body dismemberment and disfiguring like a mush whilst them being tied up in his shack way far out into the woods. After they've been "worn out" and used up he skins them and cooks their organs. He does this while laughing and enjoying himself. I want to make the encounter he has with one of the main characters who is a very young girl as uncomfortable and controversial to read.
Physical Description:
He's an ugly hunched man (Hence the name) and is in his late 50's. He's overweight but above average height. He's horribly disfigured and scary looking with many scars. Very physically intimidating
Horrible Drawer but here is what would be called concept art:
Comments
Him maybe you should come to my creative writing assistance thread. Everyone over there is helpful
Here's the link: http://www.telltalegames.com/community/discussion/92250/creative-writing-assistance-thread
I'm still trying to write my story, but it's making me sad I'm not even giving any effort to start it yet
P. S.
Damn lol that's wild XD. Looks like you got your inspiration from Chainsaw Massacure, Hannible, and Slenderman.
Want to make him fucked up you say?
Let's see.....
Killed his parents at age 10.
Burned down his entire village.
When he skins the people he wears the skins and keeps them Buffalo Bill style.
That's all I can think of right now.
...
Silence is a valid option
Just a question, what's his motivation?
btw if you want a good way to defeat him and make him pay for his actions, since it's a fanatsy story you can somehow make him inmortal and lock him in a cage/small room forever without the possibity of ever getting out, or make him relive his painful death over and over again for all eternity, those are two of the worst punishments i can imagine
People said they have to be relatable and flawed because nobody will like them which kind of harsh in my opinion.
Maybe one of his flaws could be: He enjoys tormenting children, but has a real difficult time kidnapping them because of fear people will spot him.
Another could be: Even though he's a horrible person for what he does, somewhere deep inside him he regrets doing it.
Another: Maybe he's doing what he's doing because of his uglyness and needs guidence to give him wisdom about his self-eesteem.
Doing this makes him relatable because many of us deal with our self-esteem and appearence and gets a certain way when people offend us.
The children and adults in his community probably motivated him to kill because they kept talking about his appearence and mistreated him.
Every human is not all good or evil, so finding ways to cope with his problem will maybe turn him from an evil killing machine to a person who helps others in his community facing the same issue so they won't go on a killing spree.
Conflict: He kills children
What motivated him to kill children?: The children and adults made fun of his appearance and mistreated him growing up
Were his parent responcible for who he became?: Yes because, as he grew up his parents started seeing how ugly he was becoming and treated him like crap.
Why would his parents do that?: Because, they were drug addicts and dead beat parents. They did not believe in ugly children. They believed that God does not like ugly and they were the children of the devil. They tried being the best of parents, but started not to care.
What would they do to mistreat him?: Well, sense he was ugly, they had no choice but to cover his face with a full black face veil, so that nobody in public would see him or get embarrased. When they were at home his parents would make him stay in a half empty room until he was called for dinner or public places. In the room there was only one window to get air, a small white mattress that hardly got cleaned with no covers, white plain walls, brown wooden floor, and a cage for where he was placed in if he ever got in trouble. This was torment to him because, he was treated like an animal. Inside his mind he wanted help, but knew it wouldn't come any time soon because his parents would punish him if he ever told someone what they were doing. To make things worse. Everytime he needed to go to the bathroom it would be hard to ask his parents to let him out the room because he has a disability and they'd not hear him because their tv and drug time. He'd have no choice, but to try and hold it in by sleeping on his mattress which led to defecating on himself and peeing which is why the bed's smelly and dirty. Tears would come out his eyes and fear would shatter his bones because he knew he was about to be punished. Also his bedroom door lock was on the outside, so he could not escape which was also very worse for him. His parents only opened the door when they needed him. After dinner it was back to the torment bedroom.
At dinner, his parents would smell the defecation and pee on him and the punishment would begin. Most of the time he would get slapped in the face very hard by both leaving scars and hand prints on him. After the slaps he'd have no choice but to choose what his spanking item would be. Either a leather belt with holes, tree branch, extension cord, or a paddle. He'd mostly choose the leather belt sense that was his worst enemy. After the punishment, they would starve him without dinner, put the black veil over his face, throw him in the cage in his room, and make him repent to God for what he did. They would also scare the shit out of him by putting on a cd that had frightning demons laughing with the lights turned off before they left the room. He would cry and do his best to pray for forgiveness while trying not to let his disability get in the way. He'd pray God show him the way and let him out the house.
His parents were lucky because, nobody in the community village knew what they have done to him, or seen the marks because his face was always covered. The only thing they wanted to know is why they were covering their child's face.
Now that's how he became who he is. Yes I know. The parents are really fucked up and got what they deserved which I explain next.
Plot start: Here's where his story begins now that we know how he became who he is.
When he was about 15 years old his parents finally regretted what they had done to him and decided to treat him like their son. Angered by the pain they caused him, he never forgot what they did and wanted revenge. He saw that his face was deformed and marks from the punishments were tatted on his body. His parents let him go to school and children and some of the adults were laughing at him. He lost all hope for his village and wanted revenge on them as well. His first priority was to kill his parents.
Why did the adults and children laugh at him?: Because he was deformed and had a disability which he wished he did not have.
How did he get revenge on his parents?: Well, the only true friend he had in school was his health teacher who was a female pedophile that know body knew she was. It was easy to convince his teacher to help him with the plan to kill his parents because, she was a very attractive nurse and loved her students especially little boys ages 15-18. She would make him feel better by giving him oral sex, foreplay, and letting him feel around her body when no one was around. He did not understand what she was doing to him at first and scared, but after awhile she would just lie and tell him it's to make him feel better about himself and told him not to tell anyone. He kept his promise and asked if she could do something for him. She was shocked when he told her the plan to kill his parents, but when he threatened to tell everyone what she was doing to him, she had no choice but to assist him. She agreed to help because going to prison was not a choice for her and she'd do anything for her students.
He told her his address and told her to wear a demon mask and outfit, so they would see how it felt to be laughed at by demons during his punishments. She understood what he wanted and took him home the same day.
What the fuck is up with the nurse teacher!?: Yes this will be a popular question lol. The answer is she's a freak, disgusting, mentally ill person for loving children, and it's crazy how know one even knew she was a pedophile until she was caught days after the killing.
Why does she like children?: Well, growing up she came to the conclusion that grown up's are more immature than children and she just wanted to try dating children. She was also sexually assaulted by her mother and father which is another reason she does not feel comfortable dating an adult.
But, she's an adult and he's a teen. Why did she choose him?: She chose him because, after he told her what's been going on in his life, she related because she was also tormented by her parents which made her hate being around most adults. She's more comfortable around children and teens.
If she hates adults, how did she become a nurse?: Well, sometimes you have to break out of your shell and work hard to get what you want. Even though she hated being around adults, she still conversation with them. She's just not for being in a relationship.
Did someone an adult ever try hitting on her?: Yes, plenty of times, but the answer is always no.
Now back to the plot:
How does him and his teacher kill his parents?: Well, when the parents are sleeping, He calls his teacher and tells her to bring some rope and something to make them pass out. She tells him she'll bring something. Later that night she arrives at his door with a manly friend who she mostly hangs out with. main character is curious to who the man she brought is. She tells him he's just a friend. He understands and leads them to his parents bedroom dressed as demons. He smiles while his teacher and friend puts a needle with something in it in his parents arms and carries them to his bedroom.
a few hours later his parents wake up in the dark and notice they cannot move. They scream in fear as main character flashes his bedroom light on and off while his teacher and friend blasts scary demon noises on radio. Parents still screaming and the lights turn on with them infront of face. His dad wants to know what the hells going on and the teacher and friend looking like demons tell them to hush. Mom's crying and main character walks over to them with an evil sinister grin on his face. Mom tries praying to god while threatning to punish everyone in the room. They cover parents mouth's with gags and main character explains what's going on.
He wants them to feel the pain he felt for years. The pain and torment that he's never forget. Parents are shouting threats still and teacher and friend takes out knives and puts near their faces. They tell them one last time to be quiet. Main character tells them they'll remember what they did to him in hell and that he wished they'd treat him better. Mom tries to appolgize, but he's not having it. Dad won't shut up so he gets it first. Main character tells teacher to slit his dads throat and cut off his face skin. Teacher's friend thought that was too much, but main character doesn't care. He does what main character says and is shocked. Mom cries does nothing for her and insists she gets much worse. He tells teacher to write drug addicted whore on her body with the knife then slit her throat. She does what he tells her, but mom tries to escape and teacher's friend knocks her out with his fist. Moms knocked out conscious on wooden floor and teacher begins. Main character is happy and tells them to take a picture of the scene with their phones. They again do as he commands.
They burn the bodies and put them in plastic bags later the next day.
After he had teacher and friend kill parents was he done?: No the children of the village and everyone else who treated him like shit was next.
Did teacher and friend ever get caught?: Yes. Friend made a stupid mistake by showing his girlfriend who soon broke up with him and called the cops. He served life, but before his sentence he tried telling them main character and teacher made him do it, but that excuse did not work. As for the teacher, she never was caught. She went to another village far away from the current one. She still texts main character to see how he's doing. She does not regret what she did and only wants the best for main character.
How does he get revenge on the others of the village?:
This is conflict 2: He wants to get revenge on the others but fears being caught.
Maybe he poses as the icecream man and lures children in his car where he takes them home and torments them like his parents did to him. It's his parents fault for his personality. Inside he wants to be good, but the uglyness and disability still makes him upset.
His plan to hide his uglyness is to make a face mask out of his victims face. Starting with his dad sense he was always a shit bag to him.
I'mma stop here lol. I don't want you to think I'm taking over your story. Just giving you some scenes and things for it. Easy thing to do is ask questions like what I did. Doing this will make the story come out, because people and fans will most likely ask questions like these and you'll have to answer.
I put some thought into this for you and gave the reason he's like that, flaws, appealed to senses, people who may have helped him in his rise to evilness.
Maybe by the end he'll relax and become a peaceful citizen who regrets what he did and learns that hiding behind a mask isn't good. You're uglyness shouldn't matter. It's the inside that matters and you shouldn't care what people think about you. Or maybe he'll continue to be evil and escape mental facilities and become the next joker XD. Well I hope this helps you a bit.
That was truly amazing. Telltale should put you on the writing team. You've really given me some direction
You're very welcome
. I find that strategy the easiest me. I call it the get to know your characters through questions and answers XD. Hahaha thank you. I don't think I'm ready for Tell Tale yet. It took 45 minutes to type my outline for you. Wish you the best for your story, and if you need more help don't be afraid to ask us. We're here to help anyone 
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I'm going to start on my short zombie story soon.
P.S.
From what we learned from the outline your plot could be:
During his childhood, (Main characters age and name) was physically tormented by his two dead beat parents who cared nothing about him because, he was born with a special disability and deformity that made them think he was a child of the devil. As he grew up he began to lose hope in his village known as (Village name) due to the abuse from his parents and the members of his community, and soon became their worst nightmare after realizing his fate was to kill them all. Will (Main characters name) be able to succeed in his reign of terror, or will he suffer the consequences of his actions? Find out in this terrifying story of revenge...
I don't know. It's up to you my friend how you want your plot to say
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Is anyone else going to join the thread and assist?
You did pretty close to a perfect job yourself.
You took a truly horrible character that most of us didn't even want to think about, and give him a back story that explains how he got there. Does @Clemenem need more?
Im not sure if he needs anymore help and thank you
I'd like to read your story one day if you'd let me, I love a morbid read.
Your character reminds me of two people in history that you may want to research to get some inspiration:
Gilles de Rais was a leader in the French army in the early 1400s, a fighting companion of Joan of Arc. I'm not going to go into detail with his crimes, but they were some of the most gruesome I've ever read, and I've been researching this kind of stuff for years.
Concerning the cannibalism part, you should look into serial killer Albert Fish. He killed children and ate parts of them, even mailing detailed letters of explaining how he "prepared" them and his favorite part, which apparently is the buttocks (meat is tender, and with children it supposedly tastes sweeter). You can even read his letter to one parent of a victim and get a little insight into his fucked up head.
I wish you lots of luck with your story, and hope to read it someday!
This sounds LEGENDARY pm me when your finished writing it
idk the film no country for old men was a great film and script for making a villain truly creepy and the saw films are great films to know how to get the torture right with Jigsaw
A truly creepy villain needs a good reason for his evil so you could in a twisted way relate to the evil he does that will make him truly terrifying person try to find a set of circumstances that made him like that, that could even question the readers morals on the issue had they faced the same troubles
Ed Gein the inspiration for the creepy guy out of Hannibal lector did all that plus made objects out of his victims and clothes
Look him up truly creepy
I thought i gave him a good reason his character was that way XD.
XD sheet I just posted a comment on this thread without reading the comments here yet
but I just read your post now and I agree 100% expertly put a lot better then what I said 