POLL: Name three social skills that are essential to being likable, and charming?
Name them, and try to write a small text about why they're so important.
1: "Being a good listener.
Being a good listener is absolutely essential, and it's job one, when it comes to being likable, and charming.
People love to talk, especially when they feel others are taking an active interest in what is being said.
Being a good listener involves not just hearing what the other person is saying, but thinking about what the other person is saying.
And that will allow you to give an appropriate reply.
2: Being Respectful.
Showing others respect is another essential to being likable, and charming.
It means that you take into consideration the other person's feelings, and make it a point not to offend them.
Now that doesn't always mean that you will agree with them, but even if you don't, you can still express your disagreement in a dignified way.
That includes, not swearing, or making accusatory remarks at them, or about them.
3: Self Control.
Self control, in fact, is the key to the last two qualities I mentioned.
Nobody like to be around someone who has a volatile temper, or who rambles on and on about every little thing.
If you want people to like you, and find you charming, then you need to learn to practice self control in all aspects of your life.
And in order to cultivate self control, you need to practice in small things.
Because if you don't show self control in small issues, you won't be able to show self control over big issues.
"He who is faithful in what is least, is also faithful in that which is much."
Those are three qualities that I've mentioned.
Who here can mention any other qualities that are required to be both likable, and charming?
Comments
1.) Be a great liar. Always be able to think on your feet and be able to make excuses for any answer you don't have. Always make your lies based on some form of reality, so that it's just true to be believable.
2.) Be flexible. Be like water. Only in being like water can you assume the role that people expect of you. Do they think you're the owner of the club? Flaunt it. Do they think you look like an agent? Be it. There's no reason for them to doubt your position unless you give them reason to.
3.) Give just enough. Give people just enough ear that you feed their ego, and then subtly remind them of your position of dominance by reminding them of your own accomplishments. This places you into a position where they will either respect you, or insult the dynamics of the group and be outcast because you handled the previous two steps so well.
When it comes to the first thing you mentioned, I have to disagree.
Why?
Well simply put, human trust is a very fragile thing.
It takes a long time to acquire, but it can instantly be lost.
And do you know what the biggest cause of that is?
That's right, deception.
Once a you've lied to a person, even if it's over a little thing, that person, even if they don't acknowledge it out loud, they'll always be wondering: "Well if he, or she, lied to me about a little thing, who's to say he wouldn't lie to me about something big?"
Again: "Faithful in least = faithful in much."
Plus, people appreciate honesty, especially when we live in a world where dishonesty is the order of the day.
Being an honest person, even in small things, will win you more points with other people, than lying ever will.
The secret is to never let them know you lie.
https://youtu.be/TS1jhCrqVtg
if you want to be liked a bit by a lot of people then flexibility, open mindedness and humbleness (if it was a word)
if you want to be liked a lot by a few people then self confidence, wit and ruthlessness.
Ruthlessness?
I'm curious what you mean by this.
well you know altruism, piety, mercy and stuff? not that
maybe "driven" might be a better trait
I know what ruthlessness is, but ruthless isn't something you usually have to be, it's not like politics.
i misread the title so fucking much i should probably seek medical help
What did you think it said? lmao
Benevolence, wit and positivity. Emphasis on benevolence.
Empathy, Self-Respect, Humor
*Note that I've gathered proof of these traits from people I've come into contact with so I guarantee the benefits.
High self-esteem/confidence ~ Find positives in yourself
This does not mean cocky or arrogant. How can you expect anyone to like you if you don't like yourself or even find any good qualities? What a lot of sociopaths (and I'm not saying you have to be a sociopath to be likable, but most sociopaths are very charming - just look at Ted Bundy) have in common is that nearly all of them excel in something and find ways to use it to their advantage, be it lying or something else. They're usually also pretty charismatic, able to play with their victims' minds and manipulate their reality. Another example is Margaery Tyrell. She had all of King's Landing and even Joffrey bending backwards for her, probably because of her charitable nature, but also because she carries herself with confidence. My point is that if you find something likable about yourself, others will too.
Listening skills ~ Talk less, listen more (but don't be a pushover)
Nobody likes someone who's only in it for themselves. Humans are self-centered creatures by nature (that's just fact, sorry) and love to talk about themselves, so if you're willing to listen then that's already a plus. However, that being said, you should never put yourself in a position that allows people to take advantage of you, and believe me, they will. Humans are self-centered remember? Some people will only want to talk to you if they want something from you, and then disappear. Don't make yourself too available, but don't be aloof. Find the right balance.
Empathy ~ Put yourself in their shoes
Why are politicians so popular? Because they know just what people want. Collect knowledge of people's past experiences and take into account how they might have affected them. Recognize any mental instability or emotional trauma. Then act accordingly. These likable people are likable for a reason - they're understanding, they treat people the way they would want to be treated, and they are relatable. People want to be friends with people who are most like themselves, so to break any walls of distrust you have to talk to them as if you're an extension of them, not a stranger.