What come to your mind when you hear the phrase: "Be a Man?"
Hehehe XD
Okay serious now.
If it's used on a boy or young man or an adult male that gets upset and his friends or his own parents only real response is for him to 'Man up, be a man!' I don't like that, because that's pretty much saying 'don't be you, don't show emotions because they are wrong and we don't expect that of you.' If the term is used for encouragement, hell towards both men and woman in a sort of 'We're all gonna be the man and whoop some butt today team and get all this done! Let's go! Woo!' kinda thing, that sounds positive.
So it depends I guess. I just hate the term being used as an insult really.
They are manly traits, and should be traits that all men strive towards.
Age doesn't necessarily make a boy into a man.
What makes boy int… moreo a man is by how they conduct themselves.
Of course, these qualities, such as integrity and responsibility, are also things that women should strive towards.
And it's actually these traits, that make civilized society possible.
You have absolutely no situational awareness, do you? Amazing.
But seriously, in the idiomatic sense; it means to soldier through a difficult situation with grim determination.
Part of being a man, I think, is having at least some control over your situation. I wouldn't consider myself a man, not because I'm fifteen, but because I'm still inexperienced and have little control over my life at the moment. I still don't have a job, I'm not old enough to drive, or live on my own. These are all things that I aspire to have though, and part of being able to have those things and be more independent is looking at situations a little more carefully. I try not to rush things and make my decisions more rationally. When I stop acting on instinct, I'll have a better chance of holding down a job, getting a driver's license, and being able to pay for a house or apartment. Thinking rationally is the first step to being an independent individual.
I rarely never heard it in a context of helping someone overcome whatever "childish" actions or attitudes that the particular male is having. I've perceived the saying as belittling or condescending. There's nothing uplifting using that particular phrasing if the intention is to change the person's behavior more positively.
You make some decent points.
And yes, Women can and should strive to have those same types of qualities, particularly moral integrity.
You seem like a very intelligent woman.
And I believe that you can tell that I'm not using the statement in a condescending way toward women or about them.
Quite honestly, I hate men who belittle, or who treat women abusively, or with an utter lack of respect.
After all, all our mothers were women!
To me it's just an expression that will become sexist only if the person saying it intends it to. Also, most if not all things you stated th… moreat man can do can also be achieved by women.
For example when you say:
A man stands up for his principles and beliefs, even when his they're are not popular.
That is not something only men do, women do it too. That's actually how they managed to obtain rights and improve their status in the society.
I personally don't get offended by the expression "Be a Man" but it all depends the context in which it is used. If you're only saying it to convey the message that if you're not a man you suck then I don't think it's right. As if the perfect form of human beings is the man and women are flawed and weak and useless. Women are brave and are capable of defending their beliefs with as much passion and determination as a man because all human beings have a brain and have the opportunity to develo… [view original content]
"Always keep your emotions bottled up, no matter how much pain you are in, even having them is a personal flaw."
"Nobody cares about how you feel, and trying to express negative emotions will be met with disgust and alienation."
"Anything bad in your life is all your fault, and even if you acknowledge that and accept responsiblity you are still not allowed to feel disappointed."
"Because responsibilty and stoicism are for men, whereas women are emotional and weak-willed."
I like what you said here, and I hope for sake that you are living by these things.
Also, I just want to say, don't feel bad that you're not old enough to live on your own, support yourself, or that you don't have a job or anything like that.
Because there are grown men out there who don't have those things.
Don't believe me?
Just look at the homeless man walking down the street.
Keep applying yourself to good and solid things.
ALWAYS look for ways to improve yourself, and take advantage of those moments when they come.
And CREATE those moments for yourself, instead of always waiting for them to come to you.
You are the only one who can make yourself amount to something!
You are the only one who can make your life good!
I'm sure your family loves you dearly, and is willing to support you.
But still, they cannot make you do anything.
They can send you to the best schools, whether that be a great trade-school, or a college.
But they cannot make you learn anything while you're there, no make you benefit in any other way while you are at one of those institutions.
That, is SOLELY on you!
And I only bring that up, is because so many teenagers these days seem to expect things to be handed to them, and that they don't have to work in order to achieve what they either want or need.
Don't be like that, as it will get you ABSOLUTELY nowhere!
Pursue your education, read and study; not just school text books, but also news literature - educate yourself about the world around you, and even classical novels - if that's your thing.
Classical story novels, like Robinson Crusoe for example, were never my cup of tea, but I will not dissuade anyone from reading them, if that's what they like to do.
But don't just strive to become book-smart.
Learn how to work with your hands as well.
And learn about people, make sure you are always improving your social skills, as people who highly socially savvy will do better in life than those who are not.
That's just my personal advice to you.
Good luck, kid!
Part of being a man, I think, is having at least some control over your situation. I wouldn't consider myself a man, not because I'm fifteen… more, but because I'm still inexperienced and have little control over my life at the moment. I still don't have a job, I'm not old enough to drive, or live on my own. These are all things that I aspire to have though, and part of being able to have those things and be more independent is looking at situations a little more carefully. I try not to rush things and make my decisions more rationally. When I stop acting on instinct, I'll have a better chance of holding down a job, getting a driver's license, and being able to pay for a house or apartment. Thinking rationally is the first step to being an independent individual.
Thanks. I try to live by what I believe, but it's difficult. I've always been an emotional person. And sometimes it gets the better of me. But in the past year or so I've been able to control myself much better and I'm now seriously considering what I want to do as a career. Game development was my first option, but the horror stories you hear coming out of the industry are enough to make sure I have more options. Writing fiction has recently become a new hobby of mine, and I'm working on a story right now which deals a lot with the things I've been talking about (being a man, independence etc.). For now, it's just a hobby, but I'm taking English classes next year to improve my writing ability. And Youtube's another thing I do to keep myself occupied, mainly because I'm the one in charge of it.
And like you said, nobody can give you happiness. You have to take it for yourself when the opportunity presents itself. But one thing I do wish was different about myself is how self-conscious I am. People's opinions on you can matter, but I think caring too much about what others think just makes you a prisoner, and I wish I cared less.
Maybe when I get a job next year, and start earning my own money, I won't scare so easily at the idea of making decisions about my life and my future. I think I get why everyone says adolescents is a difficult time; it's the time when you begin to want more freedom and independence, but the responsibilities that come with those freedoms can be very confronting.
I like what you said here, and I hope for sake that you are living by these things.
Also, I just want to say, don't feel bad that you're … morenot old enough to live on your own, support yourself, or that you don't have a job or anything like that.
Because there are grown men out there who don't have those things.
Don't believe me?
Just look at the homeless man walking down the street.
Keep applying yourself to good and solid things.
ALWAYS look for ways to improve yourself, and take advantage of those moments when they come.
And CREATE those moments for yourself, instead of always waiting for them to come to you.
You are the only one who can make yourself amount to something!
You are the only one who can make your life good!
I'm sure your family loves you dearly, and is willing to support you.
But still, they cannot make you do anything.
They can send you to the best schools, whether that be a great trade-school, or a college.
B… [view original content]
This is actually a very important idea for me and, this thread will probably be closed the second I write this, but one of the reasons I'm attracted to feminism. More specifcally feminism which seeks to de-emphasize the importance of gender as a whole. Just about all of the characteristics you described should be just as applicable to women as to men, and its these sort of conceptions of gender which basically state that men are superior to women - you hear a lot of people say 'men and women are equal, they're just different,' which A) is just one word off from 'separate but equal,' the attributes which we assign to men are generally thought of more positively than those assigned to women, and phrases like 'be a man' continually reinforce that culture.
But I'm not here to talk about women, I think those standards are really a double edged sword - the same gendered concepts such always taking responsibility, independence, and self-assertion are but one side of the same coin as men being unable to express their emotions, inability to form intimate relationships, and aggression. People talk about significantly higher rates of male suicide (and let's not forget who does the majority of mass shootings), but if a feminist suggests that our concept of masculinity might play a factor, everybody has a shitfit. Nobody is saying men are being taught to kill themselves or others, but that sort of behavior is the unfortunate by-product of our conception of gender. Even beyond the extreme cases I just mentioned, the constant pressure on men to suppress their emotions simply is not healthy, and exacerbates the negative experience they are having. All people have emotions, regardless of gender; all people have ambitions, regardless of gender; all people have a sense of values, regardless of gender. A physically and mentally healthy person is going to need time to struggle through difficulties, and they are going to need time to be emotional and want the support of others. A physically and mentally healthy person is going to need both traits dubbed masculine and those dubbed feminine at different times and they need to be able to express those traits. But don't ask me, ask Sandra Bem.
I can relate, when you talk about being overly self conscious. And here's what I think helps.
When I'm in a conversation with others, I strive to be polite, tactful, respectful, and courteous, while at the same time being honest about how I feel.
And if the truth about what I believe and how I feel offends others, then respectfully, that is there problem, not mine.
You cannot make people like you.
But you can make yourself become someone who is likeable.
Thanks. I try to live by what I believe, but it's difficult. I've always been an emotional person. And sometimes it gets the better of me. B… moreut in the past year or so I've been able to control myself much better and I'm now seriously considering what I want to do as a career. Game development was my first option, but the horror stories you hear coming out of the industry are enough to make sure I have more options. Writing fiction has recently become a new hobby of mine, and I'm working on a story right now which deals a lot with the things I've been talking about (being a man, independence etc.). For now, it's just a hobby, but I'm taking English classes next year to improve my writing ability. And Youtube's another thing I do to keep myself occupied, mainly because I'm the one in charge of it.
And like you said, nobody can give you happiness. You have to take it for yourself when the opportunity presents itself. But one thing I do wish wa… [view original content]
Comments
To be a man is to have (Ra's al Ghul voice) "...The courage, to do what is necessary".
Hehehe XD
Okay serious now.
If it's used on a boy or young man or an adult male that gets upset and his friends or his own parents only real response is for him to 'Man up, be a man!' I don't like that, because that's pretty much saying 'don't be you, don't show emotions because they are wrong and we don't expect that of you.' If the term is used for encouragement, hell towards both men and woman in a sort of 'We're all gonna be the man and whoop some butt today team and get all this done! Let's go! Woo!' kinda thing, that sounds positive.
So it depends I guess. I just hate the term being used as an insult really.
They should be traits everyone strives for. I'm not saying they are bad, I'm saying coining them as manly traits is too old school for my taste.
I think of the Rhodesian Army saying Be a Man Among Men. I remember writing a report on the bush war.
He's the epitome of Poe's Law. I can't tell if he's a great troll or horribly misguided.
Part of being a man, I think, is having at least some control over your situation. I wouldn't consider myself a man, not because I'm fifteen, but because I'm still inexperienced and have little control over my life at the moment. I still don't have a job, I'm not old enough to drive, or live on my own. These are all things that I aspire to have though, and part of being able to have those things and be more independent is looking at situations a little more carefully. I try not to rush things and make my decisions more rationally. When I stop acting on instinct, I'll have a better chance of holding down a job, getting a driver's license, and being able to pay for a house or apartment. Thinking rationally is the first step to being an independent individual.
I find the whole phrase "be a man" to be kinda douchey.
You make some decent points.
And yes, Women can and should strive to have those same types of qualities, particularly moral integrity.
You seem like a very intelligent woman.
And I believe that you can tell that I'm not using the statement in a condescending way toward women or about them.
Quite honestly, I hate men who belittle, or who treat women abusively, or with an utter lack of respect.
After all, all our mothers were women!
All I read was
"Always keep your emotions bottled up, no matter how much pain you are in, even having them is a personal flaw."
"Nobody cares about how you feel, and trying to express negative emotions will be met with disgust and alienation."
"Anything bad in your life is all your fault, and even if you acknowledge that and accept responsiblity you are still not allowed to feel disappointed."
"Because responsibilty and stoicism are for men, whereas women are emotional and weak-willed."
I like what you said here, and I hope for sake that you are living by these things.
Also, I just want to say, don't feel bad that you're not old enough to live on your own, support yourself, or that you don't have a job or anything like that.
Because there are grown men out there who don't have those things.
Don't believe me?
Just look at the homeless man walking down the street.
Keep applying yourself to good and solid things.
ALWAYS look for ways to improve yourself, and take advantage of those moments when they come.
And CREATE those moments for yourself, instead of always waiting for them to come to you.
You are the only one who can make yourself amount to something!
You are the only one who can make your life good!
I'm sure your family loves you dearly, and is willing to support you.
But still, they cannot make you do anything.
They can send you to the best schools, whether that be a great trade-school, or a college.
But they cannot make you learn anything while you're there, no make you benefit in any other way while you are at one of those institutions.
That, is SOLELY on you!
And I only bring that up, is because so many teenagers these days seem to expect things to be handed to them, and that they don't have to work in order to achieve what they either want or need.
Don't be like that, as it will get you ABSOLUTELY nowhere!
Pursue your education, read and study; not just school text books, but also news literature - educate yourself about the world around you, and even classical novels - if that's your thing.
Classical story novels, like Robinson Crusoe for example, were never my cup of tea, but I will not dissuade anyone from reading them, if that's what they like to do.
But don't just strive to become book-smart.
Learn how to work with your hands as well.
And learn about people, make sure you are always improving your social skills, as people who highly socially savvy will do better in life than those who are not.
That's just my personal advice to you.
Good luck, kid!
Thanks. I try to live by what I believe, but it's difficult. I've always been an emotional person. And sometimes it gets the better of me. But in the past year or so I've been able to control myself much better and I'm now seriously considering what I want to do as a career. Game development was my first option, but the horror stories you hear coming out of the industry are enough to make sure I have more options. Writing fiction has recently become a new hobby of mine, and I'm working on a story right now which deals a lot with the things I've been talking about (being a man, independence etc.). For now, it's just a hobby, but I'm taking English classes next year to improve my writing ability. And Youtube's another thing I do to keep myself occupied, mainly because I'm the one in charge of it.
And like you said, nobody can give you happiness. You have to take it for yourself when the opportunity presents itself. But one thing I do wish was different about myself is how self-conscious I am. People's opinions on you can matter, but I think caring too much about what others think just makes you a prisoner, and I wish I cared less.
Maybe when I get a job next year, and start earning my own money, I won't scare so easily at the idea of making decisions about my life and my future. I think I get why everyone says adolescents is a difficult time; it's the time when you begin to want more freedom and independence, but the responsibilities that come with those freedoms can be very confronting.
Ignore the douchy title, somebody just posted an ABC segment but added no commentary.
enter link description here
This is actually a very important idea for me and, this thread will probably be closed the second I write this, but one of the reasons I'm attracted to feminism. More specifcally feminism which seeks to de-emphasize the importance of gender as a whole. Just about all of the characteristics you described should be just as applicable to women as to men, and its these sort of conceptions of gender which basically state that men are superior to women - you hear a lot of people say 'men and women are equal, they're just different,' which A) is just one word off from 'separate but equal,'
the attributes which we assign to men are generally thought of more positively than those assigned to women, and phrases like 'be a man' continually reinforce that culture.
But I'm not here to talk about women, I think those standards are really a double edged sword - the same gendered concepts such always taking responsibility, independence, and self-assertion are but one side of the same coin as men being unable to express their emotions, inability to form intimate relationships, and aggression. People talk about significantly higher rates of male suicide (and let's not forget who does the majority of mass shootings), but if a feminist suggests that our concept of masculinity might play a factor, everybody has a shitfit. Nobody is saying men are being taught to kill themselves or others, but that sort of behavior is the unfortunate by-product of our conception of gender. Even beyond the extreme cases I just mentioned, the constant pressure on men to suppress their emotions simply is not healthy, and exacerbates the negative experience they are having. All people have emotions, regardless of gender; all people have ambitions, regardless of gender; all people have a sense of values, regardless of gender. A physically and mentally healthy person is going to need time to struggle through difficulties, and they are going to need time to be emotional and want the support of others. A physically and mentally healthy person is going to need both traits dubbed masculine and those dubbed feminine at different times and they need to be able to express those traits. But don't ask me, ask Sandra Bem.
I can relate, when you talk about being overly self conscious. And here's what I think helps.
When I'm in a conversation with others, I strive to be polite, tactful, respectful, and courteous, while at the same time being honest about how I feel.
And if the truth about what I believe and how I feel offends others, then respectfully, that is there problem, not mine.
You cannot make people like you.
But you can make yourself become someone who is likeable.
I'd rather not hear this phrase. It's like when Catherine says:
Catherine: You did it! You launched the ARK! Stop moaning now. Be a man!
Simon: Be what?! Ah, FU Cath!
Like this?
enter link description here
enter link description here
enter link description here
Not being a pendejo, FUK