King Arthur was getting ready to go on a quest. He was worried about leaving his Beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" The King exclaimed, "look at this opening, how is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe" said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He than inserted it into the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" Said the grateful monarch, "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected". After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur set out upon his quest.
Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except for Sir Lancelot.
"Sir Lancelot!" Exclaimed King Arthur, "the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it's yours!"
I feel you're pain, I was going to post a clip from Boondocks Saints.
Speaking of Gran Torino, I saw it with some friends, and I noticed the only slur Eastwood used towards his Italian barber was 'guinea,' and I joked to my friends I really could have helped expand their range, just from having grown up with my father. They were uncomfortable.
That's kind of hard to do because some of mine can be considered downright offensive. And I don't want Telltale striking me with anything se… morerious.
I saw one from Gran Torino and it had me going, but I feel like it wouldn't fly well here.
Edit: God Dammit! I just read one and it would feel perfect to add on to the thread! But it's super racist hehe.
I feel you're pain, I was going to post a clip from Boondocks Saints.
Speaking of Gran Torino, I saw it with some friends, and I noticed … morethe only slur Eastwood used towards his Italian barber was 'guinea,' and I joked to my friends I really could have helped expand their range, just from having grown up with my father. They were uncomfortable.
Comments
Me: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Me: When you scraped your knees coming up from the ashes of hell.
Adult Adventures In Camelot:
King Arthur was getting ready to go on a quest. He was worried about leaving his Beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" The King exclaimed, "look at this opening, how is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe" said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He than inserted it into the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" Said the grateful monarch, "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected". After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur set out upon his quest.
Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except for Sir Lancelot.
"Sir Lancelot!" Exclaimed King Arthur, "the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it's yours!"
But Sir Lancelot was speechless...
I feel you're pain, I was going to post a clip from Boondocks Saints.
Speaking of Gran Torino, I saw it with some friends, and I noticed the only slur Eastwood used towards his Italian barber was 'guinea,' and I joked to my friends I really could have helped expand their range, just from having grown up with my father. They were uncomfortable.
I was thinking of the bar joke he said at one point in the movie.
Felt anti-jokish with hints of racism mixed into it.