Why are some people always left out?
We all know these types of people. Whenever they are in the social group, or a social environment, no matter where it is, or who it's with, they always seem to be on the outside looking in. And no matter what type of situation they are in, it is always the same story.
And, when people do reach out to them, they still don't feel like they are apart of the group. They don't feel any kind of connection with them, and therefore have trouble relating to them.
They have likeable traits, but for some reason they just don't seem to mesh with other people. that in spite of these likeable traits, they are still always overlooked by others.
Why do you think that is? Why do you think there are people like this in the world today? And would you say that they are pretty much doomed to being this way for the rest of our lives - doomed to being a lone wolf, and will end up growing old alone?
Would you say there is any type of hope for these people?
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I'm one of those people tbh
I've been with 6 groups of friends in my life and I haven't been able to connect with them. I'm always the odd one out. Mostly, it's my fault for not speaking due to my introverted personality and sometimes it's different interests. Despite all of that, I'm able to connect with at least one or two people. No one's alone forever. There's always someone out there that matches you.
I can relate to this so much
I used to be like this myself. It's pretty much a similar story - I'm an introvert, shy and can sometimes even be over-sensitive, at the time I just didn't connect with most of my friends because they'd do allot of wacky stuff in front of people, talk about weird and disgusting topics and even watch strange and often questionable videos and despite some of their attempts to make me more of an extrovert, I chose to be alone, left with my creativity and stories, I'm also not the only person from my friend's group who used to be like this. Although, I have decided to try and become more confident and more of an extrovert but it took me about 3 years to get here with help from the few friends I truly connected with that made me feel comfortable enough to be the playfully weird(and somewhat deranged xd) person I was on the inside.
For me it was always my anxieties and shyness that caused me to be that way but I've learned three things in these past 3 years - like my friend told me, I shouldn't give a f*** what people think of me, I should learn to love and be myself, inspirational quotes online also reminded me that this might as well be my only chance at living my life, so I've started to feel that life is too short to let peoples' judgments get to me and the last is that, it's ok to be different and to be afraid but it's always good to overcome your fears. Although I have to admit, I still am too shy to just say "Hi" to someone, both in real life and on social media if I haven't really gotten to know them x.x
But I can only speak for myself, other people have different reasons but I don't think it's ever entirely that person's own fault, sometimes people reaching out to them isn't going to help them become less secluded, sometimes it may take them choosing to do so themselves. But that's just what I think, I'm not a Psychologist so I can't really say much and I hope I didn't offend anyone by making assumptions about others :x
P.S. Apologies for the long post!
I think it's called being a Sociopaths. Though that is likely just the extreme of an "anti social" behavior individual. Which at it's mildest is harmless and quite common, but at it's extremes can be quite dangerous for the person and others around him/her.
I wouldn't be on the internet if I didn't fit into that category in some way or form.
What was it... when I was in K-6 I preferred to hang out with the girls for example. I'd rather play house, and role play than play sports etc etc. By middle school/highschool, girls wanted to hang out with girls, guys with guys. Took me until my last two years of highschool to finally find a group of friends... then after high school I moved away. Now I live in "Beer" Drinking Redneck's Ville and the women here are just as insane divorce rates among these bumpkins are insanely high so I just stay away from most. So I'm pretty much a social out cast, even right now. I don't mind it that much either as I've gotten quite used to it. lol
It's just how people are. People usually tend to stick with people they know and trust rather than meet new people, so some people are bound to be left out. Happens to everyone.
I consider myself an extrovert among my friends. Introvert when I don't know someone. I get scared to speak to someone new because I feel like they have judemental eyes or something. Anyway, like I said I am an extrovert when I am with my friends. However, they plan stuff for the weekends and have parties and I'm just sitting there like "Aren't you going to invite me?" Sometimes they do invite me to things, and most of the time they don't. Like one of my friends just recently had a birthday party. She didn't invite me, but she invited one of my other friend's younger sister. When I heard this, I felt bad, but I was just accepting that that is just how things are. We were supposed to go to prom together as friends this year, but now they have dates. I guess that I am going to be alone this year. They talk about boys and I feel kinda left out because I don't know any. I don't know if I'm over exaggerating or what. Sorry for the long post!
There are a lot of possibilities as no person is same.
I myself often don't feel comfortable with a new group of people that are usually friends of my friends becuase I just feel left out, they all already have a connection and I don't feel like 'barging in'.
Could be social anxiety which really is tough. Could be that the certain person is just picky and doesn't want to befriend just anyone. Could be that the person just doesn't want to start a new friendship all over again.
In a word, confidence.
Maybe some people just don't want to have friends? In my case, I don't want any because I don't feel the need to have some.
Because they smell funny. Soap is your friend stinky. jk.
I can relate to this. What I learned later on is that it's good to find people who share the same interests with you. And to always be friendly and compassionate with everyone.
Well, in my case it's anxiety and depression - the closer I get to a person the more racked I am with anxiety that I would one day be abandoned. Even on a small scale it's a problem, I'll message somebody just one message and I'd be anxious about when are they going to be messaging me back - am I messaging them too often? Am I bothering them? Are they just responding to me out of politeness? On a larger scale it's even worse, a few years ago there was a woman I loved very very much, and it would get so bad I would start literally physically shaking, just thinking about whether or not she would accept my love and love me back (she didn't). I'd like to think that I don't come off as someobdy who is extraordinary aloof, but as somebody who is like 'oh, they have their life onto their own, with their own friends and so on,' when in reality it's a defense mechanism so that I don't have to go through the anxiety of actually trying to get close to somebody.
This is me, lol!
Im a tomboy and what not so im a constant rumor topic and most people try to put me down because im so confident.
People are like this to certian people because there just different and they dont want to accept them or they dont want freinds or anyone else in there life.
This has been me for pretty much most of my life so far. I just can't understand what is so different about me. It is slowly getting better though but I always feel like I'm just subconsciously not being let in to the bigger picture of groups of friends and things like that. It always gets better no matter what though, always remember that.
Only the unique ones are left out.
I think I know how you feel, I'm a bit of a sally girl, and people are always giving me shit and it's a pain.
A lot of the time there's this barrier. Something inside the person who's "left out", when a lot of the time they cause it themselves. It might be because they're overly cautious or cynical or absent-minded! Sometimes when I talk to people I don't know, especially in a big group, I feel this hypothetical cloud around my head, where I just kind of feel out of everything and isolated.
The goal for me is to break that cloud. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But I just start with small talk, or a friendly hello, and usually things get better from there!
Being one of those people, I can say, for me it's really anxiety and just shyness. First impressions matter with new people, so I don't want to intrude. Or even with people I know, close friends, I'm on the outside, listening in. I'm not all that outgoing and just am very self-conscious. I don't know how people think of me, and I don't want to make it worse.I'm just not all that confident with social situations. Not good at making conversation.
amen to that
I used to be that guy. But eventually I realized other people are far less critical of what you say and do than you yourself are, and started putting myself out there more and became more forthcoming. That 'odd one out' role doesn't have to be permanent.
I unfortunately feel like this most of the time. Even though I have good friends.
Remember the base of friendship are people who want acceptance and appreciation through the other person before interacting remember this
The other person is as anxious and eager to impress as you and are just as responsible for how convo goes
By people thinking this way when interacting they are outsider it will make you nervous and edgy people will detect this and feel uneasy in your presence. People will always reflect the emotion ur transmitting through your words and body language so make sure so smile and have fun
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Important to not let people dictate what your value is for me very important to only be friends with people who think I'm as awesome as I think they are.
No matter who you are people will always either love or hate you just find right people who share your interests
I think only matters what makes a person happy and feel safe. I think one day they will find answers and the right friends everyone goes through this all part of learning experience of life
Personally the day I learned not to care accept my faults and just do my best be yourself and it will always attract the right people and not let a-holes put you down or change you be yourself and love who you are or how can you expect anyone else to
This peoples day will come I was the same now I'm very happy
god... i forgot Jon and Tyrion even had scenes together. this is one of my favorite scenes.
but yeah i also like what you said a lot. although sometimes i still kinda care what some people think of me.
It means I'm unique af
The closer you are to someone the more them rejecting you will hurt so its emotionally safer to keep your distance, I wish I didn't feel this way either. At school if I ever got asked out on a date or invited to a party I thought it was a prank years later I found out I was actually considered cool at school I would give anything to turn the clocks back.
Edit: a quote from my mum " the gift o god, that god ne gi' yer to see ye'self as others see ye" translated from scottish to english- the gift of god that god didn't give you is to yourself as others do. This sounds betrr in a Scottish accent lol also my mum wasn't even Scottish I think she was quoting another family member
Are you sure about that?
A family member of mine has been that way all his. And he is approaching his 61st birthday!
So how do you explain him?
Him and me are very similar in personality. But personally, I want so much more from my life than he has ended up with.
And I don't mean that in a nasty or disparaging type of way. I just simply wanna do better than for myself.
Let me know.
I have quite a few issues fitting in and therefore am usually left out having aspergers syndrome doesn't help either as I have a hard time making eye contact and have trouble knowing what to say to people