Do you think people with Aspergers Syndrome can ever live normally? Losing hope!
It's a high functioning form of autism.
It really fuck with a person's social skills, which is truly sad, as we as human beings are a social animal.
Do think they can ever develop good social skills, and be able to read social and emotional cues almost as good as someone who does not have the condition?
Do you think they can ever be in a relationship, or ever find someone who is willing to be in a relationship with them?
Do think they can ever have a normal social circle of friends?
Or are they destined to live limited, and unfulfilling lives, and thus grow old alone?
It's not been proven yet, but it seems that I may in fact have this condition. And it would explain a lot about certain aspects of my life.
And as a result, I have become depressed, and started to feel that pretty much is no hope. That I will NEVER be able to have a normal life - socially speaking - that I will never be able function among normal people.
I don't want that! I wanna have a fabulous life! I wanna have the best life imaginable. But I'm afraid that if I do in fact have this, that I'll never be able to have those things.
Now I have been in a romantic relationship before, but it didn't last - for reasons that were not entirely my fault. She was a good person, but we weren't good together.
Most of the friends I have ever had have pretty much written me off. And I'm seen by most people as weird.
This song by the late Johnny Cash pretty much describes how I feel at this point.
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They can live normally.
Key phrase - 'highly functional.' I'd say for the most part, yes. It may be difficult, but people with most disabilities, including mental ones, can have a quality of life similar to most non-dysfunctional people. Being normal doesn't guarantee those things either.
Case and point, I don't have Aspergers and so far I'm pretty much 0/3 on your questions.
I have Asperger's syndrome (it was classified as high-functioning autism as I was diagnosed when I was young, but a therapist I had later in life mentioned that if I was diagnosed now, it would have been a diagnosis of Asperger's), and I've learned to cope with it pretty well. Like many people with autism, I had speech problems when I was growing up, and had to go to a speech therapist. But, that worked wonders, and my speech patterns are pretty good now. I'm still socially awkward, but I've actually held jobs where I dealt with the public by working retail (and I recently helped Double Fine by volunteering to work at their booth at Pax) and I did well in these positions.
I can't speak for sexual relationships though, as I'm also asexual, so I don't actually have a desire to have a sexual relationship with someone. I do have a close circle of friends though (even more if you count online friends, which I do - as I've met some of them in real life and consider those people to be close friends).
What I found is that it's really hard and frustrating in your teens, less frustrating but still hard in your twenties, but by your thirties you've pretty much got the hang of things. I still can't intuitively know the right response in a social situation, but over the years I've learned enough to know the wrong response to make. So, I just avoid those, and embarrassing moments don't happen as much as they did when I was younger. I still have some ticks like using words that don't work in the right context (like using the word "cow" in situations where it isn't appropriate), or stimming behaviors such as excessive pacing or wringing my hands. However, I've learned to limit those in public and only let those type of things come out when I'm around my family members or close friends, or when I'm alone for the latter issues.
Plus, like most people with Asperger's or other types of high functioning autism, I excel with interactions online when I'm not dealing with people in public. So, autistic people can and do have fulfilling careers in areas such as computer programming, website design, or any other area that doesn't require a lot of human contact.
In my case, I also had a lot of trauma when growing up, leading to a lot of abuse, so I also have severe post-traumatic stress (some of the physical violence was actually due to my autism when people called me a "retard" and beat me because of my unusual behaviors caused by the condition). I'm on a medication now that does wonders for my stress and anxiety levels, so it's a lot easier now for me now to apply what I learned in social interactions without stress and anxiety getting in the way.
Well its a scale, it depends on the person how well they can function
i have aspergers syndrome it varies from mild to severe i have a job i have trouble with making eye contact and and unfamiliar situations this s why i have trouble trying to get a girlfriend (i posted about losing her for no apparent reason ages ) mine is mild aspergic people usually have an expert subject (mine is computers) and attatchements mine is anime gaming an japan but yes aspergic people can lead fairly normal lives but at times it can be hard as employers usually dont know what it is and think its all severe people need to know more about aspergers and how it affects people toget a better understading of aspergers and what it means we can lead proper fullfilling lives and fallin love its just tougher
Do you think we will ever see a cure for it?
I don't think it cone from Western medicine, as with Western Medicine looks only to treat, instead of cure. There is no money to be made in curing things!
I think Eastern Medicine is our better bet! They're more of a holistic approach to medicine. More in tuned with the body and the mind, how each one affects the other.
I have Asperger's, and I'm living normally. So yes.
I think you'll be fine, even if you have the syndrome, and even if there's never a cure. Just don't worry about your shortcomings and dwell on them, whatever they may be, and don't worry about any hurtful words from other people. People can say a lot of nasty things, but that doesn't mean you have to let them hurt you. Trust me, there are plenty of people without syndromes that have all your same worries. Just do your best to be a respectable/respectful and reliable person and go from there. If you do that and people don't accept you, then they're probably not people you'd want in your life anyway. In my experience it's better to have a few great friends than a lot of shitty ones.
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." George Washington.
Ive noticed people with autism tend to have an advanced case of the me me me's, and thats why they can grate on people.
Edit: I meant to say some people, its still a pretty harsh observation but it is just something I noticed.
I have Attention Deficit, this was diagnosed when I was young, and I have dealt with it
From how I see it, there's no such thing as 'normal'.
It's all comes down to whether a person wants to be helped with whatever struggles they may have, and wants to learn how to maintain a high enough self-esteem, confidence, and the ability to overcome any barriers and problems in their daily lives.
It's never too late for anything you want to have or do in life.
Dude, you're not autistic.
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I don't have Asperger's, but I do have PTSD from a bad childhood which has branched out into ADD and OCD. I definitely know what it's like to lose hope since I lost it for two years of my life and even dropped out of highschool for a year because of it, but I think anyone can live a normal life so long as they get the proper treatment and affection. Now, this isn't always easy and I know saying "don't give up" is easier said than done, but.
Don't give up. Be an optimist for an hour. It'll change the perspective of your world.
Amazing comment I can relate enough though I just have dyslexia so ur journey was more inspiring to read
I have dyslexia and find with other people with the condition affects them differently
So just wondering with Asperger's how does it affect you and what element of the condition is the most frustrating to deal with?
George Washington quotes never fail to impress me. The man had a way with words.
+1
Yes but only if you believe it and not let it define you
I let my dyslexia define me for long time. I taught I was an idiot so never tried and did not do good in school for long time
So frustrating doing test knowing all the answers thinking you will get an 100% and only get 60%
Writing something down in ur head then rereading what you wrote and you're missing a lot of words
Even on this post and all posts I post here, I reread them multiple times and correct just to make them readable XD
Anyway told the story few times on this forum so won't bore you, I started getting good grades the second I believed I could and felt the challenge to prove myself.
We can all live normally our mentality is far more important then any condition we define ourselves and define our condition depending on how much power we give it over ourselfs.
I got better grades and topped my class many times full of students with no mental conditions
Wasn't my condition it was me that was the problem all along I just needed a more positive outlook changed everything
I also a very happy person everyone has struggles, everyone has problems conditions or not. I realize this and make the best with the tools I'm given
Einstein had Dyslexia and love this quote we can't define ourselfs on any failure we all have talents to discover goals to achieve you will find yours
We all have talents getting bad grades? Depression getting u down? Anxiety taking over
This all part of our journey. Keep fighting, everytime you fall you will learn to fight better and stand stronger believe me
Accept yourself and condition then just ur best
My dad told me normal is others expectation of how you should behave
In world like this define yourself but others who already have selfish motives will make you a depressed slave to people who no one respects who constantly seeks approval in others in never ending cycle they will never reach only feel worse and get in worse positions in life
I don't want to be normal in life I always just want to be happy and seek what makes me happy, seek friends who make me feel happy not judge, do things that make me happy etc which leads to the best moments in my life.
We all have the antidote in ourselfs to any condition and problem we have
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Thank you for insight and nice words to be honest you get on with people a lot better then me on this forum and very popular with very intelligent posts
So unless I read you had this condition it would of been impossible for me to tell or see any problems
I think you have right attitude and will beat any issues arising from that condition easily to be successful in the future
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I would just say, don't rush to label yourself. You can find examples of all kinds of outcomes out there, but just because somebody else turned out some way, and you see some similarities to yourself, doesn't mean you are going to turn out that way, too.
The most confident people out there are still unsure of themselves from time to time. They're just good at hiding it, or recovering from failure. (How do you get good at recovering from failure? Lots of practice!)
Basically, if you're willing to try for the things you want, I don't guarantee you'll get them, but you'll do a lot better than if you don't.
Yikes... that hurts. I have aspergers syndrome and I'm living just fine I mean, there are plenty of people like me who are living just fine. Don't lose hope, there are much worse mental disorders to have.
I love your comment. And I love the quote from George Washington.
I think what bugs the hell out of me more than anything, is how some people seem to almost magically navigate the social world and are extremely popular as a result.
They have no trouble picking up women, no trouble being charming and charismatic.
Where I on the other hand am often discounted and overlooked. People often don't remember me, don't ask about me, and seem to to treat me as the odd man out.
It has been shown that those who are the most successful, both in business and in their personal lives, are the ones with high EQ, ( Emotional Intelligent).
one of the things i hate most about being aspergic is on the girlfriend side of things i try to go out with them bit they think im wierd and friendzone me that and my parents dont understand what my interests in anime and japanese music and japan in general is about
I get my left and right muddled up and punctuation confuses me (dyslexia)
Hmmmm, sounds normal considering you moved about. You never got a chance to establish your roots.
My friend has aspergers, he's overweight, he has weird curly hair, and he's awesome. He has tons of friends. Gets laid pretty frequently. Goes to concerts. Has two jobs. Has his own apartment. Drives his own (piece of shit) car. He's a writer and aspiring rap artist. So yes, they can live "normally." But what is "normal" anyway? We're all fucking weird. You, me, my autistic 5-year-old son, and everyone in this thread is weird and unique in our own ways. I wouldn't change it for anything. Just learn to use your quirks and idiosyncrasies to your advantage. I wish you all the luck. See you in another life, brother.
Oh, and that song was originally done by Nine Inch Nails. Check it out!
I think way too many people are diagnosed with autism. people list the symptoms and it is just normal behavior especially in kids.
Some people are just not good in social interactions or have quirks and eccentricities and thats totally fine but they think that because they aren't like "normal" people they have to have a diagnosable condition, well guess what "normal" people are the same they have problems too.
People aren't born "normal" they have to learn how to behave in society and are maybe doing a better job at acting like a human then you think you are but who cares.
I think its a little strange that these disorders people should be born with often seem to effect people with troubled childhoods, quite the coincidence.
I do believe in autism, definitely, I just think most "autistic" people are just normal people who dont feel that way, they look at others and think "I wish it was that easy for me" well that guy your looking at is looking at some other guy and thinking the exact same thing.