DO. NOT. DISRESPECT. YOUR. FATHER'S. RULES. OR. YOUR. FATHER. IN. GENERAL.
You could just pay me for the stuff I already do!
This guy should be applauded.
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You could just pay me for the stuff I already do!
This guy should be applauded.
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Father of the Year Award for this guy! Soo tired of these kids who think they are entitled to everything.
This is the father I hope I'll be when the time comes.
Obviously not brainwashed with the right propaganda.
FotY 2012
Yeeeaaah, gonna ignore that order.
Do you also have a father that forgets you exist?
Let's see, I saw him a total of 3 times last year and the last time he called me was 6 months ago, and then he forgot about my birthday and remembered it 2 months later. Yep, he most certainly forgets that I exist. Not to mention he's selfish, rude and neglectful even when I am around him, and he beat me and treated me like shit when he was still with my mother. Like hell I'm respecting him.
We have something in common
This kid sounds like she deserved the treatment she got. However, not all of these "lazy-ass-part-of-worst-generation-known-to-mankind" children deserve such treatment.
Example:
Mom: Hey, Jimmy, can you come take out the trash!
Jimmy: Sure! Just a sec. Finishing up a game!
What do you do as the parent? One would say the right action would be to say:
Mom: Alright, make sure it's done, please!
But others? They think the good way is:
Mom: Get down here RIGHT NOW AND TAKE OUT THIS TRASH! I AM YOUR MOTHER AND I DO NOT DESERVE SUCH DISRESPECT. I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND YOU THINK SOME GAME IS MORE IMPORTANT? UGH! YOU'RE GROUNDED!
I honestly would think the first one is better. Nice simple and straight to the point. Nothing too demeaning, nothing too praise-like. For argument's sake, Jimmy is 12. Jimmy doesn't expect to be treated like a god, neither does Jimmy expect to be treated like a servant - which's only existence is to do chores and get screamed at.
If you think the second's better? Cool, good for you. But I'm going to respectfully state that the trash isn't going to grow legs, run about your house, and spill garbage everywhere which somehow duplicates into even more trash that repeats the process, creating an unstoppable Armageddon that nonsensically could have been avoided by Jimmy coming downstairs to take out the trash 5 minutes earlier, since his online game of Overwatch wasn't able to be paused.
(exaggerations shown for comedical relief)
This doesn't strike me as good parenting at all.
First of all, Dad is comically overreacting to all this. Wangst and inarticulate anger are part of the teenage experience. Grass grows, birds fly and middle-class teenagers bitch about their parents. I fail to see how it's such a big deal. Certainly, whining about parents on Facebook doesn't warrant a three-month grounding or public shaming. Daddy's vindictive video says as much about his insecurities as it does about his daughter's bitchiness. Speaking from personal experience, if 16 year old me wrote something like that on Facebook, my parents would've either a.) found it amusing, or b.) told me to delete it because I'm embarrassing myself.
Second of all, isn't discipline supposed to be constructive? Yeah, I fail to see how that's going to work out. The daughter's whiny Facebook post is just a manifestation of a bigger problem, her lack of respect for her parents. Something tells me that publically humiliating your daughter isn't a terribly good way to gain her respect. In fact, I'd go so far as to say, it will do the complete opposite. Maybe instead he should look within himself as a parent and contemplate what's going wrong. I like to think I avoided most of this phase because my parents praised good work ethic and instilled in me that chores are an important part of preparing for adulthood.
In short, this is stupid and vindictive. the only reason it gets the time of day is because of the "muh entitled millenials" meme that's been making the rounds lately.
This is seriously old news (unless you're posting this because of the Mcjuggernuggets videos that are probably fake).
What would you do, if you were this guy?
A few things, I'd do. Bear in mind that I'm armchair parenting and my suggestions should be taken with a grain of salt.
I wouldn't be such a dick about the chores. Respect is a two-way street and this guy seems to have no respect for her contribution to the household. Good work, done with minimal bitching, is worthy of praise.
Not badger the kid about getting a job while in high-school. Unless the family is in dire financial straits, this is pointless. If the kid has the drive to get a job, great. Otherwise, let her enjoy high school. Maybe, encourage volunteering instead.
Lay off the grounding. Punishments have no impact if they're overused. My dad was a troublemaking kid and his father used to whoop him all the time for acting out. Eventually the beatings became such a boring, mundane thing that they didn't work at all.
"Give" things (like the software) to her as little as possible, cause you're not going to get gratitude. Instead, provide a small allowance and let her save up for the things she wants.
Stop operating on an outdated mode of parenting that demands absolute filial piety. You're not gonna get it from a teenager, in fact, being a tyrant makes rebelling easier and more attractive. Basic respect and decency should be enforced though.
As for the actual punishment, I prefer to stick to the military/business credo of "praise loudly, punish quietly". First and foremost I'd make it obvious that I'm not threatened or hurt by her little act of rebellion. Saying "this is so stupid, I'm embarrassed for you" is probably more effective than "ermagerd, where's muh daddy respect?!?!. If anything, I'd punish her for what she said about the "cleaning lady". An appropriate punishment would be to take away her phone and computer, only giving them back later on, and definitely only after she deletes the post and writes an apology letter to that lady (assuming she saw it).
All this having been said, I get it, y'know? The poor guy was clearly hurt by this and at his wits' end with his daughter's brattiness and I don't really blame him for what he did. Still, this shouldn't be upheld as "parenting done right", because it isn't.
I haven't seen my father in 5 years. He seems to care more about his 20 year old girlfriend than me.
That sucks dude, but if he's an asshole I'd say it's probably for the best. I want my father to leave me out of his life forever really badly, I cannot stand him anymore.
Oh this was years ago, but still one of faves.
I applaud this man, because he actually has the spine to stand up to his spoiled rotten brat of a daughter. As his own words said, that he was doing more at her age, just to support himself, then she's ever had to do in her entire life.
This, in my opinion, is how a man deals with his child when they are disrespectful to it him. They're too old for a spanking, then he punishes them in some other form. But the last thing he does is allows his child to treat him the way this girl treated her father - and after everything he had done for her.
And just in principle, when you are living in someone else's house under someone else's roof, you don't have any say whatsoever in how they run their house. If they tell you to do something you just smile and do it, because they don't have to let you live there.
Rather they are being gracious to let you stay with them. And if you treat them like garbage, then you are one sorry-ass individual. And quite frankly you do not deserve the kindness that they showed to you.
Seems a bit immature to me. Doing something like this isn't discipline, it's having a pissing match.