What the hell do I even do at this point?
Hi everybody, so for anybody who doesn't know I am currently a freshmen In High school and so far it has been pure hell, social wise and academic wise. I remember back in June how I use to post how I was pumped for HS, but the truth is I would honestly give anything to go back to the 8th grade. Anyways, some people I use to call "Friend" don't even speak to me anymore, or are just fake pieces of shits who actually talk behind my back. So basically I have no friends and I am already shy as it is and I have no guts to talk to any girls in my school. I don't get it, I have been nice and friendly to a lot of people, but I often don't get it back. One girl I knew since 6th Grade, whom I've been the friendliest to, and who I sort of had a crushed on, isn't really that cool to me. After election day I said that I was bitter that Donald Trump won, she misheard me and thought that I said that I was happy that Donald trump won (Something similar), when I corrected her, she said that If I was a trump supporter then I would be better off sitting somewhere else. I was kind of hurt when she told me that,because even If I was a trump supporter (which I am not) she would be willing to stop being around me because I had different beliefs than her, despite me literally spending my money for her, being kindest and friendliest towards her, these past three years. Now onto the academic part which is tearing me apart the most. So I am doing horrible in Algebra I. I'm taking fast paced (One Semester) Algebra to be exact. I don't really have a good history with math, but in 8th grade I was the second highest scored person at these Big math exam like test that we have in the state of Virginia. I thought I could handle it. I still do believe I can, it's just that I don't like my teacher's methods. I am doing fine in all my other subjects. But math is one of the classes I can't afford to fail. It's stressful. A week and a half ago I took a test which I had study hard for and practiced and I made a 54 out of 100 which is an E. I was so bummed because I was almost sure that I finally did well on a math test, but I of course come out disappointed and last week was a short week because of thanksgiving, so we have quiz which I made a 0/100! That brought my grade average of math to an E. I was so devastated I am honestly thinking about just thinking about quitting on math. This week was no better I have 3 Quizzes from my English teacher, 1 test from my Hnrs History Class and a big test for math. I don't have much of a motivation anymore, I plan on going to College after HS, but this fucked up year is fucking things up for me. I have to read three chapters from a book in order to prepare for one of my quiz tomorrow, but I was so upset and pissed about how everything went this year so far, that I couldn't get my mind straight. I forcefully drag myself out of bed in the morning, even though I really don't want to leave. What do I do? Things are going wrong at every turn.
Comments
Also sorry for the mistakes in the comment, I was fast typing.
That's usually how it goes when you're transitioning to another school. I'm gonna be blunt and say that if all they do is talk behind your back, they honestly weren't your friends in the first place.
As for everything else, stuff can be really hard sometimes. There are years that just straight-up turn out to be dogshit in the end. But I think that you're a really cool guy on these forums and things can get better with a little effort/with some time.
PM if you wanna talk more, bud.
Thank you Sloaning, I really appreciate that.
Have a short memory of failure. It's hard, but it will help a lot. Learn to let it go and concentrate on the task at hand. This applies to everything in life really.
I hear you. I went from being an A math student in junior high to a C in high school. High school has different stresses, academically and socially, as you mentioned. There are things you will be good at and things you will be not so good at. That's what high school is for, figuring out your life. It's not the beginning or end to it.
You will prevail as a human. What's important is that you keep yourself going. I have settled into a career I never saw myself in back in high school. I am making a very livable wage in a promotable position. You will find your niche.
I was an outcast in high school, whom wasn't a part of any group, even though I was friends with some of these people in junior high(like you). Don't worry so much about the social situation. I know that's hard and probably difficult to imagine while you are in the heat of it, but one day, very soon(it will seem like), this will be over. High school cliches will be gone and you will be your own person.
Be your own person and friends will find you. Concentrate on what your interests are academically and try your best on the ones that aren't. You can do it. Don't worry about your barely passing grades right now and work on improving them. Year one isn't the end of your life. Shit, man, graduating isn't either. There were sections of classes I utterly failed and others I did amazing at. I never once passed any reading comprehension or history sub-sections, yet ended up having University invites after graduation.
I ended up not taking them as our economy shifted(tons of University students and few manual labour, which is the route I went). Life goes on. (edit: I seriously would have ended up where I am if I failed high school entirely. It's amazing how life works)
As I said, my main advice to you is to have a short memory for failure and social situations and concentrate on what you can change right now. You can do this!
See the problem is you assume that if you treat a girl like a normal human being she owes something to you, which she doesn't. "I've been nice to her" doesn't mean crap. Don't even think about relationships yet, you wouldn't even know what to do when you got into one anyway. There's no point in relationships in high school, but if you really want to at least wait till you're halfway through HS or later.
I sort of agree here even if it's a bit harsh. The money part doesn't mean anything. A good gal doesn't care about that. Some of them learn that the hard way and that's a lesson for someone else to teach them.
A quote I took off of a Simpsons episode commentary(really!): "If you want to be the nice guy, you are waiting to be someone's ex-husband".
It wasn't meant to be funny, and it isn't. I chose to be the nice guy, so I had to wait for a good girl to make that mistake with a man whom wasn't worth it. It doesn't necessarily mean marriage, but yeah, after someone treats them poorly, they go for the good guy.
You will find someone or they will find you. Don't worry about it being something you have to actively seek.
Maybe I misinterpreted there, What I meant was that I wanted to be treated with Kindness and respect. That's all I want in return.
Thank you for the advice Johro.
I sometimes find comfort knowing that on the cosmic scale all of my problems, worries, really everything I am is ultimately meaningless.
Plus, it might seem far away, but in a few months you won't find yourself worrying about these things at all. You're going to find people who appreciate you as long as you don't isolate yourself.
They never tell you Freshman year in High School is the worst. You're fresh meat coming that's often looked at as the younger kids, you haven't established a stance and people you've known around you are just as confused perhaps trying to transition themselves in their own way. The best thing you could do is try setting up your own following after a while things will get much easier. The more comfortable and well adjusted to your new surroundings you become it'll be much more simple
Sorry you're having a hard time bro.
The very first thing you'll realize 1-2 years after high school is that high school didn't fucking matter... at all. I'm not talking about the academic portion. It's good that you're trying, and you should keep trying. I'm talking about the social aspect of high school. Once you get out of high school, everything changes. People are different, people behave different, people are more accepting, it's easy to make friends. The moment you have a job, you'll fit in. That's just how it works dude, I promise. High school social life is REMARKABLY irrelevant. Keep in mind that the moment you get into the working world, you'll almost never be seeing people you went to high school with again.
As far as your math course goes, you always have the option to speak to your teacher or guidance counselor and let them know that you're having difficulty & would like to switch classes. I'm not saying you should, but the option is there bro and you know what's best for you. Think about it for a few days. It's better to have good grades in a normal class then it is to be in an advanced class and have bad grades.
Don't be hard on yourself. In fact, don't blame yourself at all. It's clear that you're trying, and that you care, and that you have plans to go to college & care about your education. All of that will pay off man. Just don't give up. The same applies to your social life. You seem like a mature kid. Stop and realize that there's nothing wrong with you- it's your schoolmates that have a problem. And this is usually just the case with large groups of kids going through puberty and figuring themselves out. You're not the problem, THEY are the problem for not realizing you're a good dude. In the end, if people don't want you in their life, you DEFINITELY don't want them in your life. You have no need to associate with people who do not want to associate with you. There ARE good people out there. Sometimes they're hard to find, but they're there. Be above the ones who are self centered and ego maniacal like the girl you mentioned. Keep being a good dude and people will appreciate that eventually. It will pay off for you. Keep your head up and just be a good person because that's what matters in life.
I'm NOT lying when I say that the moment you graduate, NONE OF IT will matter. So much of yourself will change from age 17-21. Every day you wake up and you're almost like a different person. Your priorities will change, you'll care more about work and less about friends, more about money and less about popularity, etc. Just remember, you're young. You have all the time in the world.
I hope at least something I said here was helpful for you.
Sources: I'm 27 years old.
Similar to what I said about post-grad. It's true. Your whole social situation will change, they're right. Cliches and groups will be null and void. The vocational world won't care about your high school friends unless they are in the same field of work you are. While keeping a plus/minus of 1 or 2 friends from high school isn't uncommon, they aren't day to day interactions they once were. I text message my high school best friend a few times a year now and that's it(I'm turning 33).
Worry about yourself, enjoying yourself, and your goals right now. Good friends will follow.
I've never really had friends since 5th grade. Friends arent important to me. People are assholes I accepted that a long time ago. I was friendly too but it never worked out. I have a couple of online friends. That's enough for me. I dont have any time for real friends anyway. Well good luck to you Lee.
Believe me I've been down that road in a sense. I was pretty close to someone for a while during my years in school, but then things started to become strained more and more. During my first week of high school shit was getting tiresome, he and a couple others who I wanted to be friends with kept pulling bullshit with me. Ditching me, throwing things at me, one of them constantly trying to kick me in the balls, and so on. I tried being tolerant, and shit I tried to be nice as possible but that wasn't enough for them. I was at my wits end, and when they didn't want me to be around with them during lunch... that was it. I left them. Granted I felt lost and was damn depressed and lonely, I just did work without my emotions getting in the way. Of course, an old friend saved me and became my best friend, by that point my life turned around for the better and I felt lively again and I was happy for real.
I'll be real with you. No matter how kind you are, no matter how many good deeds you've done, someone will either not give a shit or find something about you to prod at or even hold one issue against you for the rest of your life. I've been through plenty of it. No matter how often I defied it, they just keep happening. But that shouldn't stop any of us from being kind, it's not wasted. Because with every jackass there's someone who gives a damn about you and cares what you go through. Granted some people just have non malicious reasons for not talking with each other, maybe something just didn't click. That's another case together. Anyway, when things go awry we should never give up on who we are. We continue to believe in ourselves and the premonition that one day, we'll have that one person we can call family and that we'll make a vow to protect at all costs. We were all made to connect with each other, and one day you'll find yourself someone you connect to and call your friend/family. So don't give up on friendship. I know it may be hard being shy (I'm socially awkward but it's important to make effort), but sometimes you need to take a leap to see where you're going. Just try to just talk to people, not a whole lot, but things like with school work or just during breaks in general. If you don't talk, nothing will ever happen (believe me, I went through a silent emo phase here and NOTHING HAPPENED o_o. You gotta talk for things to happen.). Things may be hard now, but just trying still will eventually get you the gold you yearned for.
Now as for math class, yeah that's a bitch. One year the work was very stressful and difficult for me, I would fail so many quizzes and tests. Hell, I broke down a few times in class cuz I was trying my best and kept failing. But I kept trying, and I just barely passed the exam to pass the grade. Then comes next year, this teacher I had was a great helper, he was motivating and helped me a lot in understanding the formulas. It was thanks to him I got far better grades from that point forward and started acing grades. Of course, if you give me a quiz now I would probably be clueless. lmao So yeah, you're probably going through the phase I went through, hopefully there'll be a teacher or someone who can really help you out and get you in a better spot with those grades.
As for other school projects you're having a problem with (due to stress), I think it will be best to consult one of the school staff to explain you're issues, perhaps then you probably can get more help and in turn better grades. Also, don't be embarrassed if you need more help than others, not everyone can work at the same level and speed as others.
So do not give up yourself, you gotta keep trying to make things happen. Look at Markiplier, he was a small youtuber and woosh he got big (that's what she said). Just keep on trying and continue to be yourself and expand yourself as well.
You might be able to get help with the math. Make it clear that you really want to understand and you're not sure why you're not getting it yet, not that you've given up and it's worthless and you don't care. Math is one of those things that can make logical sense when you understand it. I helped tutor Algebra when I was in high school, and hopefully something like that is still available.
People change especially quickly at your age, and someone who was friendly yesterday might not be so friendly today. The thing to remember is that you're all in the same boat, and everyone there has some social insecurities even if it looks like they're really popular and know everything.
One book you might want to check out in your copious spare time is How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book was written 80 years ago, and its examples are pretty dated, but it remains one of the foundational books that everybody references for how to get along with people. Even if you don't 100% agree with it, it's still worth a look.
I used to move around a lot so I don't think I can help you with the previous friends treating you differently thing. As for the math thing it's generally always a good idea to ask the teacher for help on specific questions that way you'll learn the method on how to do it then just apply it to the other questions and see how that works out for you.
hey I am sorry bro, seems like it ain't been easy on you.
hey don't say that. even though you don't not know me personally but know that I am here for you. And I'm sure many people here are too.
When I went to high school something similar happened to me too. all my friends were transferred to a different section than mine and I know it feels terrible.
So feel free to ask me if you want to talk, or need advice on anything. I'll be here for you