Is anyone else ever sad they will never date their imaginary perfect girlfriend?
GoodGuyLee
Banned
in General Chat
I have this amazing woman in my head ( not a real person) and she is my ideal partner. And I am kind of sad I will never date her. Does anyone else feel like that?
I won't ever date a woman like her either. I am too dumb and struggle to string a coherent sentence together. I am kind of boring and ugly. Plus, I am 20 and have no friends. I am a 20 year old with a 14 year olds mind with the body of a 30 year old. Nobody loves me or likes me and I am lonely. I hate myself.
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Comments
Firstly, please don't think negatively about yourself in that way, it's not good for your mental health. Think happy thoughts!
That being said, NO ONE is perfect, and we should embrace that. You shouldn't desire a perfect partner because everyone will have their flaws and you need to accept that. So no, I'm not sad that I'll never have a "perfect" partner.
Everything is perfect , then you find out she farts too.
Are you serious dude? That's how you think about yourself? What makes you think you can't put a coherent sentence together? What makes you think you're boring and ugly? You're a healthy young person with a long road ahead where you can make everything possible you want, chin up friend
If you want more than that, you'll need to find a way to like yourself, or at least not bash yourself. Women aren't attracted to self-bashing. Try smiling and being interested in other people, asking questions that will have them do most of the talking, so you don't have to make as many complete sentences yourself.
Don't worry about dating at the moment - just try communicating and see where that gets you.
So, if you think like that about yourself, why would any girl want to be with you? It's incredible what an investment in mind and body can do for you.
My wife would kill me if I was sad over my "perfect woman"
no because i've long since accepted that i'm unlovable and that there's no such thing as a perfect woman. can't be sad about something if you have no expectations to begin with.
This thread made me sad
No, i'm cool with it.
Yeah, I am serious.
I can't talk to people or think of anything interesting. I spend most of my time alone and in my bedroom and done have conversations with people in real life. I havnt really had a real conversation with a peer of mine since I was about 16. Andi was incredibly shy back then and spent most of my time alone. I was obsessed with a girl I liked and I was complete fool. I was a laughing stock. I dont really have conversationswith people in real life, but have imagined having them in my head but even then I have nothnig interesting to say. On the rare occasion, I do talk to someone in real life I Swy dumb things even when I know they are dumb. If I try to sound intelligent and have to form complex sentences, I cannot think straight and cannot think of what to say or articulate my thoughts. They are very mddled and it comes out a load of rubbish.
As for the ugly. I think I was decent looking when I was about 15 to 17. I didn't see it myself but based of the attention I got from girls in my college\scjool many thought I was hot. Plus, I didn't talk much and in sixth from none of them knew me. When I was 17 in sixth form, girls seemed to think I was hot (or "fit" were I'm from). And the girls doing it was attractive themselves but I was too afraid to act on it. We are talking obvious and forward signs of interest. For example, I was eye fucked by a very attractive girl and wolf whistled by a group of good looking girls. Plus, I would see girls checking me out and discussing whether I was fit or not. Seem seemed to get nervous around. I didn't take many of these as signs of interest back than. Even when I got eye fucked she couldn't have made it more obvious but I didn't see it.
However, I failed my exams partly due to depression and anxiety I suffered. They were easy exams as well. I was forced to leave. Since then j havnt done much. And due to a combination of a stressful life, poor diet and lack of sleep. I have aged considerably. I have slight wrinkles under my eyes and look generally unhealthy and I am often fatigued. My skin looks very bad. It is dull and tired. When I am out ( for example going to the dentist or therapy) I often go to a shopping centre where there Is a lot of people about, and I never get signs of interest at all. Its probably because I have aged before my time and now I am ugly. I am quite unhealthy as well. I am very immature for my age even and very dependant on my parents. I am not disabled, just clueless on how to function as a adult. It scares me .
I dont have a interesting life as I don't do anything. I have no friends and never really have since I was a child. I have nothing of interest to say. Ypou probably think I am exaggerating but I have very few positive aspects about my personality. I am not even a decent person. I have treated a few people on ere very poorly. You shouldn't feel bad for me, I dont deserve it and that is not low self esteem talking. I feel life has jsut begun but already I have gone and thrown it all away.
But thanks for the kind message. I appreciate it.
My expectations aren't too high. As long as she's cool me ocasionally stealing stuff from others and likes to talk about philosophical shit in rooftops and we share similar opinions regarding politics and and is willing to travel the world with me and fuck shit up and pretend we're kids forever, I'm cool. If I have too many expectations (only lesbian. i hope she's lesbian or bi or there is a minimal option that she could like me back), I will die alone. I'll just wait for her and fall in love with her by accident, I guess.
I'm sorry, enough talking about myself. Dude, don't worry. I used to think the same of me... I thought I would never find love. And you seem to think that, too. If you have depression, I won't tell you to "get better" or "snap out of it". I never had TRUE depression but I know how bad it is. A little advice: I started to get better when I started helping people in everything I could. It made me happy, and it made me feel important and needed. So try to do something that makes you feel special. Or convince yourself that you're special. Watch "Flat Earth Theory" videos in youtube to feel smarter, do something you're very good at and look at other people doing it wrong, try to feel you're over the average of something. It doesn't help with finding love, but it helped me a lot, I hope it helps you, too.
You okay homie?
You talk as if you're a grandpa that's on his deadbed do you realize how young you are and how much you will regret this mindset when your is close to being actually gone? I've had a friend just like you, you don't realize how much you can change in an instant, just make small steps go do something you've always wanted to do,, Get out of your fucking room and the rest will come, the only one limiting your life is yourself
You're a man right? Are you bummed out by girls not giving some random stranger in the mall signs of interest? YOure not walking in the red light district and you're not in elementary school anymore, grow up dude
Did you manage to graduate eventually? That paper is important
I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way about yourself. It sounds like you're going through some pretty bad depression.
You can't expect other people to bring happiness for you, relationships are a game of give and take, you have to be able to give happiness back. Do everything you can to improve yourself and lighten your mood. If you feel boring then you can find opportunities to volunteer in the community and find hobbies that you enjoy. If you feel ugly then you can look into ways to improve your appearance: working out, maybe some makeup, stuff like that.
I hope you find the love you're looking for and I wish you the best.
Yup I have also have the perfect female in my head as well. When it comes to my fantasy though, everything is perfect, not just the female. I am also perfect in the fantasy, the world we exist in is perfect, our kids are perfect. The real world is simply too different and there is certain harsh realities in life that makes these type of fantsay relationships nearly impossible to exist. The relationships I have had are completely different to the fantasies.
A lot of people simply aren't lonely or crazy enough to even have these fantasy relationships anyway lol.
You want your life to change yet you don't want to do anything about it.
Nothing is difficult if you believe so. You can change. Any moment. Go outside and do something you have not been doing this whole time. You're too afraid and too passive. But you don't have to be.
Yo homie, I know you're banned and what not but if you're reading this, don't listen to the cats that are telling you that it's all your fault, you must change, can change, to grow up or whatever. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like you're not confident, that you're not the most good looking person etc. Trust me, there are decent females out there that would accept that shit. Maybe not like a perfect fantasy relationship but trust me there are. I've been in the same situation and there are good females out there that will like you for who you are.
Lol this guy is like a copy of me! XD Im 23 tho mind of a 14 year old is ok. And the body of a 35 year old. XD But I have no problem with it. Who cares if you wont get the girl of your dreams. Just enjoy beeing yourself. You matter! You are important. Nothing is impossible. So just.. DO IT!
Nobody saying it's his fault, Im sure he's had some stuff going on in his life.. but he should stop looking at the people around him and start giving himself the attention he deserves, I dont know what youre trying to imply but he shouldnt settle his life as it is now, OP should just go out more, he's overthinking too much and opening himself up will fix it
Why did he get banned ?
Sounded like you were saying it was his fault in your second post. I don't remember him saying anything about being upset because chicks in a mall or a red light district didn't give him attention either. Sounds like he is more upset because he isn't very confident. Sometimes you do need to look at the people around you. If the women he is around aren't accepting him for who he is, then he should continue looking elsewhere.
Don't know why he got banned but I doubt it was for this thread lol.
He used it as an example for why he thinks he's ugly and this whole 'ugliness' is part of him being upset, you're saying women in the mall aren't accepting him because they aren't eye-fucking or whistling to him? What kind of thought is that ?? How can they 'accept' him when there's no single interaction happening? He doesnt need to look elsewhere aside from outside his room and Id gladly help him out with it, OP pm me from another acc if you can if you need someone to talk to or help you out from your current situation
Not from what i'm reading. Where did he ever mention a mall man? Unless you're under the impression that "sixth form" is a mall lmao. And all he said was that some chicks eye fucked him and whistled at him and he weren't confident enough to respond to it. He does need to look in other places if he's not being accepted by females around him then he absolutely needs to look elsewhere. I wasn't very confident and there where females that still accepted me.
No offence man but saying things to him like "grow up" and "get out your fucking room", you're just gonna make him feel worse and definitely wouldn't be helping him out from his current situation.
Lol he was banned. XD
Reread his first response, shopping centre/mall there's almost no difference. he says he's ugly because girls don't whistle or eye him in a shopping centre and you're not helping him by any way saying "you need to look elsewhere" what kind of dumb logic is that and why are you enforcing it on him, you don't get 'accepted' by standing next girls and OP knows very well himself the fault is within himself
OP if you're reading this dont listen to this dumb idiot take matters in your own hands and dont be static, you dont have some kind of disease and you're not the only one with these insecurities and soon you won't be the first one to start destroying them, get out there you got this man
Thought you said it wasn't his fault, now you're saying it is. Make your mind up man. And yeah, some men do get accepted/noticed by women when they are in a shopping centre. I wasn't telling him to be static, just telling him to keep being himself. Sure one day he might gain more confidence but then again maybe he won't. It's not just some light switch that you can turn on and off like you seem to be selling him you know. The right female for him wouldn't care and would just accept him for who he is.
Why not just, you know, learn to talk to real girls like they're fellow human beings?
I'm currently in a good relationship. I didn't think it was possible either but it can be done with some effort.
My knowledge of women is almost nonexistent but the advice I can give you is never play the victim card. It almost never works.
There's no such thing as a pity fuck. Doesn't exist. If you got "pity fucked" it just means that they had somewhat of an interest in you.
As for how you're feeling. Hang in there. Get that confidence at your own pace then go in there. Figuratively and very literally.
Are you fucking dumb? OP will never find the 'right' female in his situation. Also the way he thinks about himself isn't healthy nor normal and needs to change which he can and has full power to with small steps, and what do you say? "Keep being yourself", if you think you're helping him by talking to him as if he's some toddler youre babysitting then maybe you need some help yourself??
all the ignorant people in this thread saying it's OP's fault or that he can easily overcome this fear seriously needs to pick up a book about anxiety or depression and read it like 5 times.
The guy has basically said that he has been a very shy, unconfident person for his entire adult life. Like you said, he isn't no toddler, so there is a good chance he will remain a shy person because maybe that's just who he is. For you to be telling him it's all his fault and he's been doing something wrong his entire life and he has full power to change it is ridiculous man, again i'm not out to offend you or call you names but that's just how I feel. And it's perfectly healthy and normal how he feels. There must be so many people who have felt like that at one point or constantly feel like that.
Shy people absolutely can find the right female. What, you think every shy, unconfident person is deprived of pussy? Lmao.
^
there's a HUGE difference between being shy/unconfident and loathing yourself like he does and you're too dumb to understand, Ive said my part to OP got nothing more to say to you go figure it out