Do you think there is ever a justifiable reason to lie to your friend, or girlfriend/boyfriend?
I think the best thing to do is to be honest with people, especially those you're close with. Personally, I have found that when you do lie, no matter how hard you try to conceal it, or how well you do, the truth always come out in the end.
Elvis Presley once said: "Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away."
So no matter what, eventually you get found out, and there are consequences to be paid for such actions.
Now here is another reason I believe in being honest with people, and I will cover the consequences I mentioned previously:
When you lie to someone, especially someone who trusts you, not only do you break that bond of trust with them, but you also hurt their pride, because you've made them look and feel like a fool for trusting you, and that will happen whether it was a small lie, or a big one. A lot of times for a person; the worst thing is not necessarily what the lie was about, but rather because their pride was wounded.
But regardless because of that, regaining their trust can and be very difficult, sometimes even impossible depending on the severity of the thing you lied about. And even if it wasn't something severe, they will still be leary of trusting you because they'll be worried if they do they'll end up a fool again.
Relationships cannot exist without honesty. Honesty breeds trust, which in turn breeds respect, and without those three things a relationship cannot exist - period. And that is true of all relationships, whether they be romantic, or platonic.
I'm not saying be brutally honest, of course. Always try to be tactful and respectful, but when all else fails, then you do have to say it like it is, while still being respectful. And be honest in all things, whether they be big or small things.
In fact, if you're not honest about small matters, you will not be honest about big matters. Now I know that conventional wisdom says that there is nothing wrong with telling a "small white lie", but I disagree, and here's why - because you will have already built up a behavioral pattern of being dishonest - and that fact holds true whether you think you can be dishonest about small matters and yet still be honest in large matters - or if you think you can lie to others, yet still be honest with those you're close with.
Take it from someone who's been there! The things I'm speaking of here, I do know them to be true, and that's why I am saying what I am.
Now I realize that there are those who will disagree with what I've said here, even strongly disagree. And while I respect that, I do ask that those same people still think about what I have said here.
So how about you? What do you say to this question? Is there ever a justifiable reason to lie to your friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, or family-members?
Comments
I don't think lying about embarrassing things is that big of a deal. Like not knowing how to tie your shoes or read. I usually don't do that as I always feel bad about lying but my first instinct is to evade the question if someone asks me something I'd rather not admit.
If you're alone with them and they don't seem bigoted, no. Otherwise, it depends entirely on context.
If your girlfriend/wife asks "does this make me look fat?"
Only if it’s an embarrassing secret or if it won’t tear the family apart, unless it is cheating, going behind friend’s back, drugs etc. Normally when I catch somebody lying to me, or being an asshole in general, I give them my cold stare. This works extremely well on this one guy I know who soon goes apologising before trying to start shit again in a few hours. Death stare all the way though, intimidating presence is key to get people to tell u things or to stfu
I mean, it really just depends. Sometimes it's easier to tell a small lie and not get into a pointless argument over something you did or didn't do, rather than tell the truth and get into a pointless argument. Or if there's something I want to conceal to myself and someone inquires about it, then sure, I really don't see a problem in lying when it's none of their business in the first place. But if the truth does have some relation to the person, it's better to be upfront with them and tell the truth, most of the time anyway.
It's all fine and dandy saying honesty's the best policy and maybe it is, but if you ask me, it comes down to the scenario in question and not whether lying is actually a bad thing. Which it isn't depending on the reasons for it.
Birthday gifts maybe?
Yes. There can very well be things that are simply none of their business. Yes, even in a serious relationship.
As hopelessly romantic as some people are, you do not suddenly become one with the person you are with. You are still individuals. Some issues are your own. If it doesn't concern them, you are absolutely entitled to keeping secrets.
My ex lied to me and cheated on me ive never lied to my girlfriend ever i guess if its a tiny lie like buying them a present and you dont want them to know then thats ok but something huge maybe not ok
Not trying to be sexist, although it kinda is, but i’m not trying to be, but why is it always the girls who end up cheating? If you think about it you never really hear about many guys doing it, but it is always the girls who cheat. Again, not being sexist
I’ve heard about plenty of guys and girls cheating.
Idk i’d say i’ve only heard of maybe 2-3 guys cheating and hundreds of girls
I’ve been cheated on by three different guys and one of them multiple times, had two female friends of mine been cheated on just since August, and every woman in my family has been cheated on before so it’s not uncommon?
That perception you have is caused by sexism - not that YOU are sexist, but the people around you and the society you are inserted in probably are.
I'll explain. It is not that women cheat more often, but that when women cheat it is seen as being "worse" than when men cheat, and people make a bigger fuss out of it. Because a woman that has multiple boyfriends is seen as a slut, but a man who has multiple girlfriends is seen as a stud.
Because cheating women are seen in a negative light more often than cheating men, it grabs your attention more often and it gives you the false impression that "it is always girls who end up cheating". Myself, I've met more cheating men than cheating women in my life (that I knew of), and by a really, REALLY large number.
I guess that kinda does make sense
If you're lying to make them feel better and not be rude, yeah. Otherwise no I do not. Completely unacceptable.
I think it's justifiable if someone tells you something personal and a friend or significant other of yours pries. If someone trusts you with something they've been holding back, you're betray their trust if you tell your friends about it just because they're your friends.