Whenever you think someone is calling you dumb or boring, ask yourself this: Who are these people and why should they have influence over your self esteem? Opinions only have as much worth as we give them, and it's natural to be swayed by other's words but not everyone deserves to reach your core, and you are entitled to judge who is deserving and who isn't.
Also something worth asking yourself is if this is something you truly care about fixing, or that you even can immediately fix right now, or are you only upset over some people's disrespect over your lifestyle? If it's the former then okay, you're still on this earth so there's still some way you can set things right and seek to improve no matter by how small the steps are, but If it's the latter then why lose some sleep over some nobodies and their condemnation, or even that of friends and family? If their opinions were truly important to your life they'd understand you well enough to know a better way to set you on the right path than just shaming you. If they really wanted to help you get set on what they believe to be the best path for you then they failed to help build you up there, and if not they just made themself another enemy in your way just for being who you are.
It's okay to be ashamed of what you've done, it means you want to strive to be a better person, but never let anyone tell you to be ashamed for who you are. Those people are not on your side, and their opinions belong in the trash.
yah i know. i try to tell myself that all the time about how i shouldn't care so much what others think but it's not so easy to actually convince myself to feel that way.
For me when i feel awkward or uncomfortable at school or near friends i act tough and hard to read my mind what i think.
I'm just in harsh cold mode like terminator.
Telltale is my daily dose of socialization and communication xD
I just tolerate what people say and think, i dont even know them so why should i care at the end you will leave and never see them again.
For me when i feel awkward or uncomfortable at school
Same. Yesterday, my English professor made me work in groups with 3 other people. I was a WRECK I was trying my best to keep my composure. I hate group work too because I can get anything done on my own.
For me when i feel awkward or uncomfortable at school or near friends i act tough and hard to read my mind what i think.
I'm just in harsh … morecold mode like terminator.
Telltale is my daily dose of socialization and communication xD
I just tolerate what people say and think, i dont even know them so why should i care at the end you will leave and never see them again.
i don't have much confidence issues really. idk it's kinda hard to explain. like i don't think these things about myself, and no one has really come out and said it, but it's like what i think they think that makes me insecure. which is totally weird and i get that.
I understand that; sometimes I worry too much about what other people think about me too. I think it's pretty natural to want be feel accept… moreed - we are social creatures - but when it becomes quite stressful, it can be a problem.
When we think negatively of ourselves, it can feel like everyone else must think the same about us... but the truth is that we actually can't read other people's minds. Most of the time it's our negative thoughts obscuring our perception. Try to keep an open mind; there are plenty of reasons why someone should like you.
I fall into that negative thinking all of the time, and I know that it's hard to convince yourself that other people aren't as critical of you as you are of yourself. People who are overly critical of others are insecure about themselves; they have to create imaginary "problems" in other people so that they may feel better in comparison.
I think the important thing to remember is that we can't… [view original content]
Anti social , bipolar one and and a little ADHD...
1) I don’t really like to social outside as much and not really much a people perso to… more say the least .
2) I have mood swings form here on out.
3) I was diagnosed With ADHD when I was little but since I’m an young adult I feel I don’t have this problem as much.
I wasn't trying to cause confusion; I felt ashamed of my post and wanted to remove it. I replaced it with something random and stupid... because that's how I (attempt to) hide my insecurities.
What was the intention behind your comment in response to my original post prior to my shit-edits?
I just want to make sure you're not sounding like, "Good morning! Would you like to contribute to my gummy bear anti-tripping fund? Many unfortunate gummy bears trip and are never seen again! We need funds to hire additional gummy bear investigators to get to the bottom of this!"
I wasn't trying to cause confusion; I felt ashamed of my post and wanted to remove it. I replaced it with something random and stupid... bec… moreause that's how I (attempt to) hide my insecurities.
What was the intention behind your comment in response to my original post prior to my shit-edits?
To be honest, I don't understand your joke. I'm being serious right now and I don't appreciate my question being dodged.
I'm going to be honest with you and say that something about your comment struck a nerve with me and I genuinely don't understand why. I don't mean to attack or offend you; I was hoping that you could provide some clarity behind your comment because I want to have an understanding of your perspective.
I just want to make sure you're not sounding like, "Good morning! Would you like to contribute to my gummy bear anti-tripping fund? Many u… morenfortunate gummy bears trip and are never seen again! We need funds to hire additional gummy bear investigators to get to the bottom of this!"
Was it inattentive type (ADD) or just purely hyperactive? Hyperactive ADHD is easier to adapt to as you get older because unlike autism you're still aware of social cues, so while you still have a lot of energy you start to learn healthy ways to release it. Inattentive is a bit more tricky because unlike hyperactive where it's just a matter of finding when and where to redirect that energy, inattentive directly interferes with your routine and ability to focus on important tasks, so it's harder to feel like a normal person because many normal responsibilities naturally lose your attention quickly, unlike hyperactive where you can easily complete those tasks but you just get a bit too off the walls and overstimulated to handle social situations.
So many people here have taken your thread seriously and it's entirely about insecurities. There's nothing to be ashamed of, it makes you human to show your flaws like that.
I'll ask the same thing to you that I asked Sarah, who are we exactly and why do you need to fear what we think? If we can help that's always great but I'm going to bet and say not a single person here has much significance in your life, so we're in no position to judge you, and if we do anyways why does it matter? You're on this earth as you are because life defined you that way, no matter if other people like it or not, and if some nobodies condemn you for being truthful with how you feel then they're the ones that have to suck it up.
If you feel like reposting it I'm sure someone will be able to give you some good insight.
and how dare you make yourself out to be the victim you gummy bear crushing monster ]:{
I wasn't trying to cause confusion; I felt ashamed of my post and wanted to remove it. I replaced it with something random and stupid... bec… moreause that's how I (attempt to) hide my insecurities.
What was the intention behind your comment in response to my original post prior to my shit-edits?
Sorry, that's how this place works. If you don't like what I have to say, you can ignore me, or let me know if you'd rather I didn't reply to your posts, and I'll leave you alone.
Anyway, I interpreted your original now-gone post that you were endeavoring to say greetings like Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening to people but were struggling because it made you feel nervous, and the entire experience felt unnatural.
What I was trying to convey is that those greetings are more formal, at least in the U.S. I know there can be cultural differences in different places. People who are just being friendly here will generally just say "Hi" or "Hey." Saying "Good Morning" means you're about to follow with a business pitch, or it's someone you don't really care that much about but are just being polite. Though if you look and smile for a second first, it's friendlier.
To be honest, I don't understand your joke. I'm being serious right now and I don't appreciate my question being dodged.
I'm going to be … morehonest with you and say that something about your comment struck a nerve with me and I genuinely don't understand why. I don't mean to attack or offend you; I was hoping that you could provide some clarity behind your comment because I want to have an understanding of your perspective.
I'm sure Psycho doesn't want to ignore you. Misunderstandings happen and she was just being honest that your post didn't sit well with her. I dont doubt that you didn't intend to be rude so just saying that you didn't mean it that way will clear the air, but even if you did mean it that way that's not how it works here, especially not in this thread.
And @Psychokinesis a greeting isn't a matter of the right way to start a conversation, but how you want to start the conversation. What do you want out of the conversation and how do you want the other people in the conversation to approach you? Use the greeting that you want to set the tone for the conversation. Do you need to put on a mask to get what you want out of talking to others? There's no shame in that, sometimes the ends justify the means, but you'll have to prepare beforehand how you can contort your feelings to get the most out of the discussion.
Also remember that the anxiety of saying or doing the wrong thing ironically is what causes a conversation to go downhill the most, since the others can sense that discomfort and it brings down their mood, like a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. It's like archery or hunting, you have to be calm and focused or else nervousness will only throw off your aim even more. Never forget that you're always in control of how you present your body language, even if your mind tries to tell you you're not.
Sorry, that's how this place works. If you don't like what I have to say, you can ignore me, or let me know if you'd rather I didn't reply … moreto your posts, and I'll leave you alone.
Anyway, I interpreted your original now-gone post that you were endeavoring to say greetings like Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening to people but were struggling because it made you feel nervous, and the entire experience felt unnatural.
What I was trying to convey is that those greetings are more formal, at least in the U.S. I know there can be cultural differences in different places. People who are just being friendly here will generally just say "Hi" or "Hey." Saying "Good Morning" means you're about to follow with a business pitch, or it's someone you don't really care that much about but are just being polite. Though if you look and smile for a second first, it's friendlier.
To be honest, I think I was triggered by your post, @WarpSpeed. I perceived an undertone of ridicule in your original comment. I can be hyper vigilante and misinterpret what other people mean by their words sometimes. I admit that I was being overly sensitive and was very blunt and quite angry in my response. My mood had suddenly and dramatically dropped due to an accumulation of things in my life and I was feeling more irritable.
I think I may have inappropriately taken my anger for other people who have wronged me, out onto you. I'm sorry @WarpSpeed.
Sorry, that's how this place works. If you don't like what I have to say, you can ignore me, or let me know if you'd rather I didn't reply to your posts, and I'll leave you alone.
That's what I (thought I) was doing. I didn't want to shut you down, especially without giving you the chance to explain your perspective.
What I was trying to convey is that those greetings are more formal, at least in the U.S. I know there can be cultural differences in different places.
I didn't know that it was considered formal; that shows my lack of social understanding. I thought I was wishing people a good day... .
Talking to strangers or even being present with a stranger always feels awkward and unnatural for me; I don't think it matters what I say, although certain things can make it worse.
Perhaps I could've explained myself better... but I screwed up on that one.
So many people here have taken your thread seriously and it's entirely about insecurities. There's nothing to be ashamed of, it makes you hu… moreman to show your flaws like that.
I'll ask the same thing to you that I asked Sarah, who are we exactly and why do you need to fear what we think? If we can help that's always great but I'm going to bet and say not a single person here has much significance in your life, so we're in no position to judge you, and if we do anyways why does it matter? You're on this earth as you are because life defined you that way, no matter if other people like it or not, and if some nobodies condemn you for being truthful with how you feel then they're the ones that have to suck it up.
If you feel like reposting it I'm sure someone will be able to give you some good insight.
(Spoiler)
I juat want to apologize to everyone here. This was suppose to be a safe place for people to express their difficulties and struggles with social interaction. I tainted my own thread with my blinding anger and flawed coping mechanisms.
I wish you all the best in your journey through life.
I guess it depends on my mood, I can talk to random people but I can't hold a conversation for long.
I feel awkward near most people and I'd rather be alone most of the time.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder so I don't really have many friends, plus my town is really small so not a whole lot of people around.
If I'm in a good mood I'll talk to people but I'm not most of the time, I'm at a point in life where it's pretty hard to be positive about things.
I guess it depends on my mood, I can talk to random people but I can't hold a conversation for long.
I feel awkward near most people and I'… mored rather be alone most of the time.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder so I don't really have many friends, plus my town is really small so not a whole lot of people around.
If I'm in a good mood I'll talk to people but I'm not most of the time, I'm at a point in life where it's pretty hard to be positive about things.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder
lmao Imagine everyone was literally all those things?
I guess it depends on my mood, I can talk to random people but I can't hold a conversation for long.
I feel awkward near most people and I'… mored rather be alone most of the time.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder so I don't really have many friends, plus my town is really small so not a whole lot of people around.
If I'm in a good mood I'll talk to people but I'm not most of the time, I'm at a point in life where it's pretty hard to be positive about things.
What’s wrong with rock? It’s THE tightest music genre out there, Phil Collins and Queen remain legends to this day. However, if you listen to 6ix9ine or xxxtentacion then you are an instant outcast ?
Similar thing happened to me cos I didn’t/don’t like football/soccer, I basically handled it by fighting back...with words, turns out it worked out pretty well cos the people who picked on me eventually became my friends and became pretty cool to other people to. #1 strategy is always roast them to shit.(don’t follow my advice, there’s like a 2% chance it’ll actually work) sucks to hear this happened to you though ☹️
My psychologist believes that I may have a social communication disorder because I find it hard to interact with people I do not know and co… morepe in unfamiliar situations. I also suffer from anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and have a form of depression. I am petrified to go to University because of this. This may be a form of autism, but I have been told that it may be mild on the spectrum if I was examined because I can understand facial features and am not egocentric.
I was bullied in primary school because I used to play with dolls and I personally believe this traumatised me and created a fear of communicating with people. I have just finished secondary school and hated it because I struggled in my friendship group. They made me feel like an outcast because my music genre was Rock / Metal and my interests only consisted of that and gaming.
I had to cut myself off every social event because of the way they treated me. My ‘friends… [view original content]
Try explaining that to seventeen and eighteen year olds because trust me - I would truly like to know too. Those two artists that you mentioned in their eyes make you as ‘cool’ as them by the way.
I do not like football/soccer either, so you are not the only one. For me, I am not that type of person to stoop to their level and it is not in my nature to behave in such way.
Thank you for your response though and I am also sorry for the situation you were in.
What’s wrong with rock? It’s THE tightest music genre out there, Phil Collins and Queen remain legends to this day. However, if you listen t… moreo 6ix9ine or xxxtentacion then you are an instant outcast ?
Similar thing happened to me cos I didn’t/don’t like football/soccer, I basically handled it by fighting back...with words, turns out it worked out pretty well cos the people who picked on me eventually became my friends and became pretty cool to other people to. #1 strategy is always roast them to shit.(don’t follow my advice, there’s like a 2% chance it’ll actually work) sucks to hear this happened to you though ☹️
Omg same, i live in Europe in a small country and a small vilage where are alot of hillbilly farmers, drunk people, smoking weed, listening to cringe music. How am i suppose to find friends if i live in this society, i'd rather just be alone for the best. They also say to me why you look sad and im thinking like is there anything happy around here... i just sometimes cant talk with people because we dont have anything in commom, the only thing i can do is laugh and do small talks. Sometimes i wish i live in America so i can find real good friends.
I guess it depends on my mood, I can talk to random people but I can't hold a conversation for long.
I feel awkward near most people and I'… mored rather be alone most of the time.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder so I don't really have many friends, plus my town is really small so not a whole lot of people around.
If I'm in a good mood I'll talk to people but I'm not most of the time, I'm at a point in life where it's pretty hard to be positive about things.
Omg same, i live in Europe in a small country and a small vilage where are alot of hillbilly farmers, drunk people, smoking weed, listening … moreto cringe music. How am i suppose to find friends if i live in this society, i'd rather just be alone for the best. They also say to me why you look sad and im thinking like is there anything happy around here... i just sometimes cant talk with people because we dont have anything in commom, the only thing i can do is laugh and do small talks. Sometimes i wish i live in America so i can find real good friends.
Comments
Whenever you think someone is calling you dumb or boring, ask yourself this: Who are these people and why should they have influence over your self esteem? Opinions only have as much worth as we give them, and it's natural to be swayed by other's words but not everyone deserves to reach your core, and you are entitled to judge who is deserving and who isn't.
Also something worth asking yourself is if this is something you truly care about fixing, or that you even can immediately fix right now, or are you only upset over some people's disrespect over your lifestyle? If it's the former then okay, you're still on this earth so there's still some way you can set things right and seek to improve no matter by how small the steps are, but If it's the latter then why lose some sleep over some nobodies and their condemnation, or even that of friends and family? If their opinions were truly important to your life they'd understand you well enough to know a better way to set you on the right path than just shaming you. If they really wanted to help you get set on what they believe to be the best path for you then they failed to help build you up there, and if not they just made themself another enemy in your way just for being who you are.
It's okay to be ashamed of what you've done, it means you want to strive to be a better person, but never let anyone tell you to be ashamed for who you are. Those people are not on your side, and their opinions belong in the trash.
I tripped on a gummy bear.
THIS WAS NOT MY ORIGINAL POST AND HAS BEEN TAMPERED WITH BY MYSELF
Maybe try just looking at someone and smiling , and then only going as far as the greeting if they seem receptive. That would seem more natural.
For me when i feel awkward or uncomfortable at school or near friends i act tough and hard to read my mind what i think.
I'm just in harsh cold mode like terminator.
Telltale is my daily dose of socialization and communication xD
I just tolerate what people say and think, i dont even know them so why should i care at the end you will leave and never see them again.
Same. Yesterday, my English professor made me work in groups with 3 other people. I was a WRECK
I was trying my best to keep my composure. I hate group work too because I can get anything done on my own.
Anti social , bipolar one and and a little ADHD...
1) I don’t really like to social outside as much and not really much a people perso to say the least .
2) I have mood swings form here on out.
3) I was diagnosed With ADHD when I was little but since I’m an young adult I feel I don’t have this problem as much.
i don't have much confidence issues really. idk it's kinda hard to explain. like i don't think these things about myself, and no one has really come out and said it, but it's like what i think they think that makes me insecure. which is totally weird and i get that.
i didn't think adhd goes away. stop taking your adderall and tell me what happens ?
Lol, I’ve stop taking it since my early teens and I felt like a normal person.
What was the intention behind your post?
Well, what the hell was in those gummy bears? I want some.
Oh, it's a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear.
Well, you edited your post to make it look like I'm replying to gummy bear trips. Without proper greetings, things can only escalate.
I wasn't trying to cause confusion; I felt ashamed of my post and wanted to remove it. I replaced it with something random and stupid... because that's how I (attempt to) hide my insecurities.
What was the intention behind your comment in response to my original post prior to my shit-edits?
I just want to make sure you're not sounding like, "Good morning! Would you like to contribute to my gummy bear anti-tripping fund? Many unfortunate gummy bears trip and are never seen again! We need funds to hire additional gummy bear investigators to get to the bottom of this!"
To be honest, I don't understand your joke. I'm being serious right now and I don't appreciate my question being dodged.
I'm going to be honest with you and say that something about your comment struck a nerve with me and I genuinely don't understand why. I don't mean to attack or offend you; I was hoping that you could provide some clarity behind your comment because I want to have an understanding of your perspective.
Was it inattentive type (ADD) or just purely hyperactive? Hyperactive ADHD is easier to adapt to as you get older because unlike autism you're still aware of social cues, so while you still have a lot of energy you start to learn healthy ways to release it. Inattentive is a bit more tricky because unlike hyperactive where it's just a matter of finding when and where to redirect that energy, inattentive directly interferes with your routine and ability to focus on important tasks, so it's harder to feel like a normal person because many normal responsibilities naturally lose your attention quickly, unlike hyperactive where you can easily complete those tasks but you just get a bit too off the walls and overstimulated to handle social situations.
I'm glad you managed to overcome your ADHD though
So many people here have taken your thread seriously and it's entirely about insecurities. There's nothing to be ashamed of, it makes you human to show your flaws like that.
I'll ask the same thing to you that I asked Sarah, who are we exactly and why do you need to fear what we think? If we can help that's always great but I'm going to bet and say not a single person here has much significance in your life, so we're in no position to judge you, and if we do anyways why does it matter? You're on this earth as you are because life defined you that way, no matter if other people like it or not, and if some nobodies condemn you for being truthful with how you feel then they're the ones that have to suck it up.
If you feel like reposting it I'm sure someone will be able to give you some good insight.
and how dare you make yourself out to be the victim you gummy bear crushing monster ]:{
Sorry, that's how this place works. If you don't like what I have to say, you can ignore me, or let me know if you'd rather I didn't reply to your posts, and I'll leave you alone.
Anyway, I interpreted your original now-gone post that you were endeavoring to say greetings like Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening to people but were struggling because it made you feel nervous, and the entire experience felt unnatural.
What I was trying to convey is that those greetings are more formal, at least in the U.S. I know there can be cultural differences in different places. People who are just being friendly here will generally just say "Hi" or "Hey." Saying "Good Morning" means you're about to follow with a business pitch, or it's someone you don't really care that much about but are just being polite. Though if you look and smile for a second first, it's friendlier.
I'm sure Psycho doesn't want to ignore you. Misunderstandings happen and she was just being honest that your post didn't sit well with her. I dont doubt that you didn't intend to be rude so just saying that you didn't mean it that way will clear the air, but even if you did mean it that way that's not how it works here, especially not in this thread.
And @Psychokinesis a greeting isn't a matter of the right way to start a conversation, but how you want to start the conversation. What do you want out of the conversation and how do you want the other people in the conversation to approach you? Use the greeting that you want to set the tone for the conversation. Do you need to put on a mask to get what you want out of talking to others? There's no shame in that, sometimes the ends justify the means, but you'll have to prepare beforehand how you can contort your feelings to get the most out of the discussion.
Also remember that the anxiety of saying or doing the wrong thing ironically is what causes a conversation to go downhill the most, since the others can sense that discomfort and it brings down their mood, like a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. It's like archery or hunting, you have to be calm and focused or else nervousness will only throw off your aim even more. Never forget that you're always in control of how you present your body language, even if your mind tries to tell you you're not.
Damn those conversations. Why cant we just talk about amything that comes thru our mind without worrying what will people say or think.
To be honest, I think I was triggered by your post, @WarpSpeed. I perceived an undertone of ridicule in your original comment. I can be hyper vigilante and misinterpret what other people mean by their words sometimes. I admit that I was being overly sensitive and was very blunt and quite angry in my response. My mood had suddenly and dramatically dropped due to an accumulation of things in my life and I was feeling more irritable.
I think I may have inappropriately taken my anger for other people who have wronged me, out onto you. I'm sorry @WarpSpeed.
That's what I (thought I) was doing. I didn't want to shut you down, especially without giving you the chance to explain your perspective.
I didn't know that it was considered formal; that shows my lack of social understanding. I thought I was wishing people a good day...
.
Talking to strangers or even being present with a stranger always feels awkward and unnatural for me; I don't think it matters what I say, although certain things can make it worse.
Perhaps I could've explained myself better... but I screwed up on that one.
...
Okay... I'll admit, that made me laugh a little... ^_^
...
I juat want to apologize to everyone here. This was suppose to be a safe place for people to express their difficulties and struggles with social interaction. I tainted my own thread with my blinding anger and flawed coping mechanisms.
I wish you all the best in your journey through life.
If anything I wrote seems off to you please let me know. I actually like when people question what I have to say as long as it's civil.
And don't beat yourself up over getting a bit irritated. It happens sometimes, and you smoothed it over very well.
Oh god I definitely do.
I guess it depends on my mood, I can talk to random people but I can't hold a conversation for long.
I feel awkward near most people and I'd rather be alone most of the time.
I really can't relate to anyone my age since everyone seems to be an alcoholic, drug addict or in jail for murder so I don't really have many friends, plus my town is really small so not a whole lot of people around.
If I'm in a good mood I'll talk to people but I'm not most of the time, I'm at a point in life where it's pretty hard to be positive about things.
lmao
Imagine everyone was literally all those things?
Probably lol
your small town sounds p hardcore
It's just how eastern europe is...
What’s wrong with rock? It’s THE tightest music genre out there, Phil Collins and Queen remain legends to this day. However, if you listen to 6ix9ine or xxxtentacion then you are an instant outcast ?
Similar thing happened to me cos I didn’t/don’t like football/soccer, I basically handled it by fighting back...with words, turns out it worked out pretty well cos the people who picked on me eventually became my friends and became pretty cool to other people to. #1 strategy is always roast them to shit.(don’t follow my advice, there’s like a 2% chance it’ll actually work) sucks to hear this happened to you though ☹️
NA isn't any better
Same shit goes on out here.
Try explaining that to seventeen and eighteen year olds because trust me - I would truly like to know too. Those two artists that you mentioned in their eyes make you as ‘cool’ as them by the way.
I do not like football/soccer either, so you are not the only one. For me, I am not that type of person to stoop to their level and it is not in my nature to behave in such way.
Thank you for your response though and I am also sorry for the situation you were in.
Omg same, i live in Europe in a small country and a small vilage where are alot of hillbilly farmers, drunk people, smoking weed, listening to cringe music. How am i suppose to find friends if i live in this society, i'd rather just be alone for the best. They also say to me why you look sad and im thinking like is there anything happy around here... i just sometimes cant talk with people because we dont have anything in commom, the only thing i can do is laugh and do small talks. Sometimes i wish i live in America so i can find real good friends.
Yup, pretty much the same