Your Funniest Stories!
So I just had the idea to make a thread for everyone to tell the funniest experiences that they have had or seen someone else have!
So I'll start out with one of mine!
Years ago, I was in the 7th grade. I am a band geek, and in our middle school, our conductor was kind enough to take the 8th graders (And 6th/7th graders who were good enough) on a trip to California each March. My friends and I were fortunate enough to go all three years. We embarked on our quest and reached California. On our second day there, we passed the famous Hollywood sign and traveled to Griffith Park Observatory, a large astronomy center/museum. So I look around with my friends (We'll call them John, Mark, and Ross) for a while and then we get to the gift shop. So John, a friend that wears glasses and has a high pitched voice, buys some things at the gift shop. One of them being a common toy that I don't know the name of. It's like a weird, hollow, plastic cylinder with a hole in the middle and a gelatin inside and they always seem to slip out of your hand. We called it his squishy. One of these:
I JUST figured out they're called Water snakes. ANYWAYS, we all get back to the Embassy Suites hotel and make our way up to our room. Sometime later, Ross and I decide to go out and stand on the hotel's small balcony (I think we weren't supposed to but whatever, we were just looking at the night scenery). And so we're just talking it up like normal, and then I hear John's squeaky voice come from behind us, saying "Hey, whatcha guys looking at?" And John walks up between us, with his water snake in his fingers, and he gets to the edge and it just flies out. Like those toys always do. It falls on the balcony below us and he's hollering and yelling (In a good-hearted way) and of course everyone else is just laughing and laughing. And I will never forget his squishy.
Comments
So this happened a few years ago when me and my class were on a trip. We went to this place and it was basically just some outdoor farm or whatever and we ran around, pet the cow, and did stuff 'n thangs basically. Then that night we went in this room and somebody shut the door behind us...we were trapped and the class was freaking out but we all stayed together in a group in the corner. Desperate, we were almost driven to insanity after a few hours of being trapped in a pure metal place but we saw the door open but a few people were thrown in (The group was made of an unconscious "urban", a little girl, a mustached man with a hat, a old guy, and a okay-looking chick which I may have thought about getting cozy with...) So the Urban woke up and the people were yelling about stuff but me and my friends saw hope that there were other alive being with us in the room however they didn't acknowledge us. Just looking at that wonderful lady: so confident, such a leader, so smart, so sexy, I began to contemplate how I would approach her. The old guy started grabbing his chest and I thought it was some weird human ritual but he had fallen and couldn't get up...the others started yelling about killing him or something and WHAM- the Mustached man picked me up and threw me on his skull- BLOOD WENT EVERYWHERE. So some of my friends were in shock, others were laughing at the entertainment the Mustached man and I had provided but the lady I liked started screaming with amusement from my act and she BOWED before me and it seemed like she started praying or something TO ME, so I was just there laughing from pleasure of what me and the stached man just did to the weird guy and my friends were all amused, and the people then left later but me and my friends were sitting there just cackling at what we did and then we thought..."we should do this more often", so yeah, I saw my first love and loyal follower leave but me and my friends had something new to do that we've been doing for years now...Sacrificing and utterly destroying select human brains in honor of what we started that night so we will always feel that rush of experiencing the life be sucked out of something....So today we always laugh as we sacrifice the sheeple and move from place to place...Who knows, I might see one of you soon....HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA WOOOOOOOO
(Throwback)
I can't remember how long ago it was, but my family and I were playing Balderdash with my aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandparents. We had the category of people and the person's name was Mike Doyle. My sister had trouble hearing and asked what the name was again. (See I have an uncle named Mike and a grandpa named Doyle.) My mom said Mike Doyle, "like your uncle," and then my sister goes, "I have an uncle Doyle?!" We all pissed ourselves laughing after that.
Do you ever feel you will be able to relive the exact euphoria that you felt that night? That same rush?
One time, my dog surprised my cat when it ran around the corner of my house. My cat let out a weird hiss and jumped really high into the air. My dog got scared too. It was so funny.
What's balderdash?
I stepped on a stray cat's tail once for the hell of it.
That cat and I became friends later so it ends on a happy note.
I was walking down from a bus stop to my home, when some 5th-6th graders walked past me and one of them looked at me and said to his friend "That's your mom" and the third kid with them said "What a beautiful mother", then they laughed and took a picture of me with their phone.
I'm dude by the way, so I don't really know what to think of this, I guess it was kinda funny to them at least, to me pretty weird.
It's a board game. One of my favorites in fact.
During each player's turn, they have draw a card to choose a category. There's five different categories: People, Initials, Movies, Words, and Laws. Say for example, that the player decides to choose Words for his category. The other players have to write down what the definition of that word may be while the player with the card writes down the correct definition. The other players don't show anyone what they wrote down and they give their little slips of paper to the player that has the card. Afterwards, that player reads off each slip of paper and the rest of the players have to guess what the definition is. If a player guesses the correct definition, they get to move forward three spaces. If a player that didn't have the card gets their definition guessed, they get to move a certain number of spaces depending on how many people guessed theirs.
My life
The first time is different but yes, I have relived the experience many times
Stahp
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About a year ago, I was playing with my dog and I was thinking "We should have a race" ( mind you I was in my house) The start of the race was in my parents' bedroom and the end was in the living room. So me and my dog were running for dear life when I run into the front door. I fell back and laid on the ground wondering why did I do that. I was looking for my dog for support but she just stared at me and walked away.
Rip
No mom!
You will obey me peasant!
No mom! You are not the queen of these lands!
I am and will always be
I'll destroy you against the wall if you are telling me this again ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Go to your room. You're punished again.
Punish me, Mommy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
lol
Tee-hee
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If it makes you feel any better about how you and your dog get on my cat once used my face as a launching pad, then when I went to get some bandages my other cat scratched me and got its claw stuck in my forehead.
Ooohhh, sounds very very painful. And I wasn't sad. I was just making that face to be funny. Kinda. I don't know.
The Feelz!
...
I was checking someone out and I was drinking water from a water bottle and It wasn't until minutes later I realized the water was falling on my lap and I wasn't drinking it at all.
Me, my dad, and my sis were going to the lake and we took our dog and when I closed the car door his tail got stuck.
So I there was this girl I was friends with and we started to fade after 6th grade and now we ride the same bus home and every time I'm done talking to my friend and go towards my house I see her take sidewalk another tho, the one she goes when she sees me is farer away from her house and the part I go to is closer. I find it very amusing.
Once me and a friend went into an abandoned house across the street a few summers back and we walked into the basement and she started to record on her phone and once she heard a noise she ran back up the stairs and she tripped.
My guy BFF and me went to a few kids playing outside on the street and we asked them if they wanted some crack and their reactions were priceless. We did a lot of crazy shit over 3 years, we used to steal flares from the bus' stock and light dem up and light other stuff on fire, one day the woman outside caught us and she started to scream. I remembered when we screamed "Vote for Donald Trump" around the block.
Some girl in kindergarten used a blue marker as lipstick.
I remember a girl in 1st grade that tried to cut her hair with school scissors. The teacher got really mad at her and the girl started to cry.
But nobody liked her so we all thought it was really funny.
Back when I was a kid, we owned a pet hamster. I forgot what happened but something made me sad. So I took the hamster out of his cage and hugged him for comfort.
.......The hamster died.
Wait You were checking someone out and u spilled water on ur lap are you sure you even had water? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I have another one: When I was like 14 or 15 I had a couple of friends over and one of my friends wanted to tell us about the book he was writing. He said it was called The Deserter. Immediately after that, I meant to ask what it was about. But I accidentally said, "What's it called?"
"I'm writing a book called, The Deserter."
"Oh, what's it called?"
He thought I was being a dick and he was like, "Did you really just say that?" I still have not lived that down to this day.
nvm