What would you say?
Let me paint a scenario for you.
Alright these two men have known each other.
One is an alcoholic, the other is not.
The Non-Alcoholic man is his senior by 35 yrs.
The alcoholic turns to the other for help, and they become friends.
The alcoholic does well at staying sober. Until one day, because of hanging with the wrong crowd, he begins drinking again.
And he also begins smoking weed, as well as cigarettes.
His friend warns not to smoke, but is unaware of his drinking. He cautions him against smoking - saying he has had friends die from drug use - and that he doesn't want that for his friend.
But the alcoholic keeps smoking and drinking - and is eventually caught by his friend. Finally the guy says: "I'm done", and, "I don't care what you do."
In between this time, the alcoholic has been trying to help his friend, by giving him rides, sometimes long distances, so his friend can get to his job. And he loves his friend to death.
But after hearing his friend tell him: "I don't care what you do", he begins to question the friendship. He begins to wonder if whether or not his friend actually still cares about him at all, or is just using him.
Now in exchange for giving him rides out to his gigs, the non-alcoholic man allows him to stay with him for the duration of his job, as well as taking care of his expenses - which if he's not paying him - the thus owes him that at least.
Whenever the man is in need of a ride, he always turns to his alcoholic friend. And he tells him the reason he does it is because his alcoholic friend is dependable. And the alcoholic guy continues to do it because he truly does care about his friend.
But other than that, they don't have a whole lot to do with each other. However, when the Alcoholic man turns to his friend for advice, his friend is there.
And during one of their final trips, the Alcoholic man swears to give it up for good, despite having sworn the same thing 10 times over the past two years. And for the last week has stayed clean - hasn't drank - hasn't smoked.
So in the scenario I just painted, what would you say? Does the non-alcoholic man still care? Or is he just using his friend?
Comments
Im not a fan of the "wrong crowd" excuse I find it evasive and a excuse to blame others for your mistakes, basically it shows a lack of responsibility for your actions.
Alcoholism isnt a choice, its possible to give up with willpower alone but most people need medical help and I think some appointments need to be made and I mean medical no AA bullcrap, god is nice and all for some, but medical help is necessary.
I think the issue for the non alcohic is more to do with being lied to and having things hidden(well thats what upset me in my experience with addicts) if you call someone a friend you should be honest with them and because (NA and A for now) A was staying at his home NA is probably questioning the motive ie "A's using me".
I dont know what to say, every situation is different and its impossible to answer the final question but I think both partys are asking the same thing, however if I was NA I wouldn't be excepting rides off a alcohic