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What are some of your greatest comebacks?

Kenny/LeeKenny/Lee
edited July 2016 in General Chat

The best one I ever had was when this one lady was making fun of me, cause I had long hair, and a horsehou mustache.

She said I look like a 70s porn star.

And I replied: "Yes I am. I'm getting laid on a regular basis - sometimes multiple times a day - with some amazingly gorgeous women. I'm making bank. And I got a dick that swing past my knees - and y'know I just don't think you could handle it."

Well she and her friends who were laughing at me shut up so fast, and we're afraid to say anything else to me.

What's yours?

Comments

  • Squishy CthulhuSquishy Cthulhu

    I always thought a comeback should be quick and snappy that was a whole paragraph.

    You should have said you look like a 70 year old pornstar

  • ChilledChilled

    "Fuck off." It's just unbeatable, reminds me of this video as well...
    enter link description here

  • Everyone'sClemInTimeEveryone'sClemInTime

    My greatest comeback in one word.

    "Kenny."

    enter image description here

  • EpicMustacheGuyEpicMustacheGuy

    I usually have a great comeback three hours later

  • AgentZ46AgentZ46

    "Well, you-- uh... SHUT UP"

  • lupinb0ylupinb0y

    Damn that's fast! I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat before I think of anything ;(

    EpicMustacheGuy posted: »

    I usually have a great comeback three hours later

  • RichWalk23RichWalk23

    Someone told me: "If I were your wife, I'd put poison in your tea."

    And I replied: "If I were your husband, I'd drink the tea."

    ...Oh wait, that was Winston Churchill.

  • _BEARZZ__BEARZZ_

    Some called me short, and I said " That just makes me harder to catch when I kick you in the jewels for calling me short!".

  • CrazedRabbitCrazedRabbit

    you're fat

  • Diamond DragonDiamond Dragon

    Sorry what was that? I can't hear you over the sound of... Just piss off

  • BeautifulBanjoBeautifulBanjo
    edited July 2016

    "I know you are, but what am I?"

  • Wolfenus54Wolfenus54

    That's a pretty good comeback.

    But honestly, a better comeback is...

    "AJ".

    enter image description here

    Everyone'sClemInTime posted: »

    My greatest comeback in one word. "Kenny."

  • Everyone'sClemInTimeEveryone'sClemInTime

    Damn, you went too far. You really got me, I don't have anything better to comeback at you with.

    Wolfenus54 posted: »

    That's a pretty good comeback. But honestly, a better comeback is... "AJ".

  • FanofClementineFanofClementine

    Does your face hurt? cause it's killing me.

  • EpicMustacheGuyEpicMustacheGuy

    Jane.

    enter image description here

    Everyone'sClemInTime posted: »

    Damn, you went too far. You really got me, I don't have anything better to comeback at you with.

  • Kenny/LeeKenny/Lee

    That is such a classic.

    FanofClementine posted: »

    Does your face hurt? cause it's killing me.

  • Kenny/LeeKenny/Lee

    Another great one from WC was.

    Woman, who was a religious snob, says: "You Winston Churchill are drunk."

    Winston Churchill replied: "And you, madam, are ugly. And tomorrow when I am sober, you will still be ugly."

    RichWalk23 posted: »

    Someone told me: "If I were your wife, I'd put poison in your tea." And I replied: "If I were your husband, I'd drink the tea." ...Oh wait, that was Winston Churchill.

  • Omid's catOmid's cat Banned
    edited July 2016

    The greatest comeback? Gun.

    enter image description here

  • KillahKillah
    1. Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit coming out from your mouth?
    2. I was about to give you a nasty look. But I see you already have one.
      3.if I was your wife, I would posion your tea.
  • Everyone'sClemInTimeEveryone'sClemInTime

    Kenny.

    enter image description here

    EpicMustacheGuy posted: »

    Jane.

  • TheSloaningDeadTheSloaningDead
    edited July 2016

    "You're about as useful as a traffic light in a GTA game, my friend."

    "I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you."

    "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

  • EpicMustacheGuyEpicMustacheGuy

    Kenny, Jane and AJ

    enter image description here

    enter image description here

    Everyone'sClemInTime posted: »

    Kenny.

  • _BEARZZ__BEARZZ_
    edited July 2016

    I like the first one, I might use that!

    Killah posted: »

    * Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit coming out from your mouth? * I was about to give you a nasty look. But I see you already have one. 3.if I was your wife, I would posion your tea.

  • Eddie_MaidenEddie_Maiden
    edited July 2016

    Don't say anything, just shoot the fuck and walk away. Some good ones from George Carlin.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaFLezxS1tA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nGT4dV4s1w

  • Wolfenus54Wolfenus54

    Add Arvo, Bonnie and Mike and that makes you a bigger savage. :>

    EpicMustacheGuy posted: »

    Kenny, Jane and AJ

  • dan290786dan290786
    edited July 2016

    Best ever comeback for me was not even needed in words. Back when i attended school, i was in the school library and some prick in my class was also there being an ass and decided it was funny with his friends to call me a lanky streak of piss (basically insulting my height and appearance as I'm very tall). Anyway, a minute later this short ass was trying to reach a book from the shelf (which incidentally i needed as well) so i grabbed it in front of him with ease and walked off. Karma's a bitch hahaha

    Ps. It was all the more delightful when i heard him cursing about it afterwards hahaha

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