* I'm horrible at anything artistic
* I spent most of my life being a huge piece of shit and now I constantly try to be nice to people to… more make up for it but it isn't working.
* All of my physical and mental issues.
* I deserve to die
* I try to block out all negative emotions with jokes and fake smiles instead of... gee... I'm not sure, doing what any rational person would do and get help?
eh. let's be honest, everything about me is a problem.
The most important thing is that you are doing your best. Don't compare your worst, best, anything at all to anyone. Because it isn't 4<7, it's subjective if anything.
Ignoring your negative aspects of personality is a worse choice, I believe. You have to accept that you are the way you are now, but you certainly can change. You have to let yourself to evolve, every single day. Learn more about yourself, fix stuff, do stuff.
Would you want your life to be the same 10 years in future? I am sure you don't. So if sou want a different outcome, choose different choices and have different thoughts. You aren't gonna do shit with doing nothing. 0+0=0.
I see that you want to be somehow better, and I know you can be that Mario. Just try thinking a bit before your words and actions for starters.
For my life, nothing.
As for my personality.
* I hate having low self confidence.
* I'm being an arsehole 99% of the time and I got… more sick of it.
* I'm hella sarcastic and that gives everyone around me a bad image about myself.
* I'm trying to be just as a cool kid and I don't even know why I keep trying.
* I'm too selfish and I never bother to be selfless, no matter how much I try.
* I'm shitting on my own voice by saying that it gives ear cancer to everyone that hears it. I need to stop saying that.
* I'm too shy in real life and I never try to be "cool".
* I'm a whiny little bitch and I can't stop doing that.
Honestly, there are so many bad things about my personality that I don't even want to talk about. I'm trying to be a good person, not think about the negative stuff about myself, but they are literally taking over me, which, fuck knows why, I can't "fight back" at.
Edit: Lmao my own comment even made me want to lis… [view original content]
Man, not knowing the real you and what you really want is the worst. Been and still am going through that. Don't worry too much, though, it isn't gonna change a thing, although this might sound like telling a person with a broken leg to just run.
You are still very young, you got time, and maybe nothing is gonna be rainbows and sunshine in the future, but let's face it -- it will never be perfect for anyone.
Present matters. Present matters. In present you change. Present gives you a chance, past gives you strength and future gives you an outcome. Lol I overdid this.
I often absolutely hate myself, if I could even figure out who that is. I can't quite figure out who I am and that's a real bitch especially… more in a time when you're making important decisions for the rest of your life. I feel like I'm a mix of a realistic nihilist and optimistic realist, and that's a real mess in itself, at often times I steer to one of them and I hate the other one and then most of the time I'm both and then I don't know what I'm doing. It probably doesn't help that I have both anxiety and depression, which is probably the worst combo you could ever receive.
The anxiety is a real bitch that I hate because no matter what I'm doing, I'm constantly doubting myself and telling myself I'm doing everything wrong...Which I mean, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't but it doesn't help. Depression...well...that doesn't exactly need an explanation except I can never feel happy for too long. I am also constantly doubting my friends, esp… [view original content]
I literally nearly burned my parents house down while they were sleeping when I was 6. I don't remember why I did it. I just did. I've done so much cruel and awful shit in my life to hurt so many people, and even though a few years ago I decided to turn that around and dedicate my life to being at people's beckon call, it's still not enough to change the awful shit I've done in the past. Trust me, if you knew me when I was younger you'd think I'd deserve death is well. I'm a horrible, rotten sack of shit, and there are so many reasons I should die. But fuck it, fate has a plan or whatever the fuck. I don't care.
Man, you were 6. 6. 6. I am not gonna lie and say it is fine and everything is ahhh so cool. Trust me, there is so much bad stuff someone can think of doing (bad bad things) just because they do.. It's just like that. You feel like some kind of a villian. I know what I am talking about but it's not worth of death.
Listen, you are never ever gonna change the past. No one ever is. It stays still, it stays in you. It doesn't have to be you. Please take me for serious although I am some weird ass stranger to you, but I meant this. All of this.
It is so obvious you've given up. But you shouldn't. You are seriously gonna live your whole darn life in past? Because that is your choice.
You were a bad person, did awful shit, were mean and you are gonna stay at that position although you are aware of your 'sins' and wrongs? Even though you can change, even if little, a tiny little itsy bitsy little? Even though you were given another day, another year?
Look, if you wanna stay the "evil person who deserved death and hell only" the whole life -- you will. Yes, you will because no one is gonna take your hand and fly with you to heaven. Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem but nobody believes in those magical solutions, in those changes. (IIRC this was from Alice in the Wonderland idk).
I don't personally believe in fate because to me it just sounds like some fancy sounding excuse to letting life do its thing. Lol yeah, as if """life""" cares. Only you exist in your world.
You should care. Sorry for being...like this, but I really want you to get better.
I literally nearly burned my parents house down while they were sleeping when I was 6. I don't remember why I did it. I just did. I've done … moreso much cruel and awful shit in my life to hurt so many people, and even though a few years ago I decided to turn that around and dedicate my life to being at people's beckon call, it's still not enough to change the awful shit I've done in the past. Trust me, if you knew me when I was younger you'd think I'd deserve death is well. I'm a horrible, rotten sack of shit, and there are so many reasons I should die. But fuck it, fate has a plan or whatever the fuck. I don't care.
I totally am socially awkward, I can't really hold up conversations by myself unless it's something I'm really interested in and I know a lot about. I'm also kinda insecure about my looks, I've noticed that I have a lot of friends on the web and none in real life. Badass on URL, a bitch IRL haha. But I think it's because I'm far from pretty.
I'm a goddamn coward tbh. I have a fear for everything. Heights, spiders etc. Can't sleep when I read too much scary stuff. Drowning, burning, choking. Fearful of everything.
I'm kinda sarcastic. I love using sarcasm but I see why people don't like that about me.
My sense of humor is often so perverted. I'm kinda ashamed of this, but whatever you would say, I could make an innuendo off of that. Fortunately my sense of humor has other better branches.
I'm laaaaazy. I love writing for fun, but it happened to me so often that I would abandon the project after few first sentences. My custom campaigns for various games are unfinished etc. I want to do so much things but most of times I lose all hope.
I think that's it but I might've forgotten something.
You're a great person, and you've made really valid points. But I'm not going to get better. Every time I do get close to getting better, I get worse. So I just move on. I'll try to fix myself, but I won't get anywhere. Trust me, I want to get better too, but it's not a possibility at this point in my life.
Man, you were 6. 6. 6. I am not gonna lie and say it is fine and everything is ahhh so cool. Trust me, there is so much bad stuff someone ca… moren think of doing (bad bad things) just because they do.. It's just like that. You feel like some kind of a villian. I know what I am talking about but it's not worth of death.
Listen, you are never ever gonna change the past. No one ever is. It stays still, it stays in you. It doesn't have to be you. Please take me for serious although I am some weird ass stranger to you, but I meant this. All of this.
It is so obvious you've given up. But you shouldn't. You are seriously gonna live your whole darn life in past? Because that is your choice.
You were a bad person, did awful shit, were mean and you are gonna stay at that position although you are aware of your 'sins' and wrongs? Even though you can change, even if little, a tiny little itsy bitsy little? Even though you were given another day, anot… [view original content]
I can't help you a lot if I don't know why you can't get better.
Getting better? What is that? What do you mean by you're getting close to getting better?
Look, you might think fixing yourself means you'll be the perfect person you've always wanted but that is not the case, to be frank. Fix your problems and find their causes, because you are only human.
It's not a possibility? Hm, I can't really find a reason why wouldn't it. If you have any mental problems that can be fixed a bit, or a lot by a professional who is not me.
You are progressing which is better than doing nothing 24/7. So you are getting better.
You're a great person, and you've made really valid points. But I'm not going to get better. Every time I do get close to getting better, I … moreget worse. So I just move on. I'll try to fix myself, but I won't get anywhere. Trust me, I want to get better too, but it's not a possibility at this point in my life.
I hate that I'm very insecure about my body and I don't want to be.
I care what other people think.
I think I'm way too nice (my "friend" always comes to me when something bothers him, but when I feel down he doesn't give a shit and I still listen to him lol)
* I hate my big ass nose.
* I'm too shy.
* I hate these little things that piss me off.
* I am sooooo goddamn lazy.
* I hate that I'm ve… morery insecure about my body and I don't want to be.
* I care what other people think.
* I think I'm way too nice (my "friend" always comes to me when something bothers him, but when I feel down he doesn't give a shit and I still listen to him lol)
* I hate my big ass nose.
* I'm too shy.
* I hate these little things that piss me off.
* I am sooooo goddamn lazy.
* I hate that I'm ve… morery insecure about my body and I don't want to be.
* I care what other people think.
* I think I'm way too nice (my "friend" always comes to me when something bothers him, but when I feel down he doesn't give a shit and I still listen to him lol)
Man, not knowing the real you and what you really want is the worst. Been and still am going through that. Don't worry too much, though, it … moreisn't gonna change a thing, although this might sound like telling a person with a broken leg to just run.
You are still very young, you got time, and maybe nothing is gonna be rainbows and sunshine in the future, but let's face it -- it will never be perfect for anyone.
Present matters. Present matters. In present you change. Present gives you a chance, past gives you strength and future gives you an outcome. Lol I overdid this.
* I just double-checked. Your nose looks fine.
* Shy people don't post selfies.
* Be glad they aren't big things that piss you off.
* Yo… moreu made 17 posts today. Not that lazy.
* Print out the posts where everyone was in awe of your body.
* Print out the posts where everyone was in awe of your body.
* It's OK, you're allowed to be nice. Just pick different friends to vent to.
That list didn't help? Oh well.
I'd never admit it to anyone, but being disabled fucking kills me. Even with 24 years under my belt, I feel like I do a shitty job of copin… moreg. I can't drive, I can't do fine motor skills. I know I've been turned down for jobs due to it. The worst part is just disclosing it to fucking everybody. I try to be a good advocate for myself, but the looks of pity + discomfort just eat away at me sometimes. I try to own it, but it's more a facade than genuine self-acceptance
I've developed some bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms over the years. I'll sometimes hide my disability and try get by without assistance, almost by compulsion. I hate asking for help, because part of me still sees it as a sign of weakness. I never set the bar high, yet sabotage myself at every turn. I'd rather prolong my problems than face the discomfort of confronting them. I have talents which I can't find the motivation to develop. I don't see a future fo… [view original content]
Comments
Nah, you don't deserve to die.
I easily piss everyone off, and get pissed off myself.
Break your mirror. It got a bit better after doing that for me.
The most important thing is that you are doing your best. Don't compare your worst, best, anything at all to anyone. Because it isn't 4<7, it's subjective if anything.
Ignoring your negative aspects of personality is a worse choice, I believe. You have to accept that you are the way you are now, but you certainly can change. You have to let yourself to evolve, every single day. Learn more about yourself, fix stuff, do stuff.
Would you want your life to be the same 10 years in future? I am sure you don't. So if sou want a different outcome, choose different choices and have different thoughts. You aren't gonna do shit with doing nothing. 0+0=0.
I see that you want to be somehow better, and I know you can be that Mario. Just try thinking a bit before your words and actions for starters.
Clearly you have not met me.
Man, not knowing the real you and what you really want is the worst. Been and still am going through that. Don't worry too much, though, it isn't gonna change a thing, although this might sound like telling a person with a broken leg to just run.
You are still very young, you got time, and maybe nothing is gonna be rainbows and sunshine in the future, but let's face it -- it will never be perfect for anyone.
Present matters. Present matters. In present you change. Present gives you a chance, past gives you strength and future gives you an outcome. Lol I overdid this.
What does one have to do to deserve death then?
Spoiler : nothing bc nobody deserves death but answer me nevertheless
I literally nearly burned my parents house down while they were sleeping when I was 6. I don't remember why I did it. I just did. I've done so much cruel and awful shit in my life to hurt so many people, and even though a few years ago I decided to turn that around and dedicate my life to being at people's beckon call, it's still not enough to change the awful shit I've done in the past. Trust me, if you knew me when I was younger you'd think I'd deserve death is well. I'm a horrible, rotten sack of shit, and there are so many reasons I should die. But fuck it, fate has a plan or whatever the fuck. I don't care.
Man, you were 6. 6. 6. I am not gonna lie and say it is fine and everything is ahhh so cool. Trust me, there is so much bad stuff someone can think of doing (bad bad things) just because they do.. It's just like that. You feel like some kind of a villian. I know what I am talking about but it's not worth of death.
Listen, you are never ever gonna change the past. No one ever is. It stays still, it stays in you. It doesn't have to be you. Please take me for serious although I am some weird ass stranger to you, but I meant this. All of this.
It is so obvious you've given up. But you shouldn't. You are seriously gonna live your whole darn life in past? Because that is your choice.
You were a bad person, did awful shit, were mean and you are gonna stay at that position although you are aware of your 'sins' and wrongs? Even though you can change, even if little, a tiny little itsy bitsy little? Even though you were given another day, another year?
Look, if you wanna stay the "evil person who deserved death and hell only" the whole life -- you will. Yes, you will because no one is gonna take your hand and fly with you to heaven. Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem but nobody believes in those magical solutions, in those changes. (IIRC this was from Alice in the Wonderland idk).
I don't personally believe in fate because to me it just sounds like some fancy sounding excuse to letting life do its thing. Lol yeah, as if """life""" cares. Only you exist in your world.
You should care. Sorry for being...like this, but I really want you to get better.
I think that's it but I might've forgotten something.
The kind of honesty you only get after a few drinks!
You're a great person, and you've made really valid points. But I'm not going to get better. Every time I do get close to getting better, I get worse. So I just move on. I'll try to fix myself, but I won't get anywhere. Trust me, I want to get better too, but it's not a possibility at this point in my life.
Didn't help. Just seeing more of my godly-looking face on multiple pieces. Also there's something red coming out of my hand. Tastes good though.
Well, thank you for that.
I can't help you a lot if I don't know why you can't get better.
Getting better? What is that? What do you mean by you're getting close to getting better?
Look, you might think fixing yourself means you'll be the perfect person you've always wanted but that is not the case, to be frank. Fix your problems and find their causes, because you are only human.
It's not a possibility? Hm, I can't really find a reason why wouldn't it. If you have any mental problems that can be fixed a bit, or a lot by a professional who is not me.
You are progressing which is better than doing nothing 24/7. So you are getting better.
Your nose isn't big. I've seen that bae pic of yours.
I am pretty lazy too.
Aw, thanks Marija
Hot Damn!
It's OK, I give you permission to be nice.
i cri evry tiem
</3
That list didn't help? Oh well.
Thank the past for making you what you are today, and make sure future you will thank present you.
Okay I did not expect that... Gotta finally appreciate myself I guess, thanks
Amazing.
.
All the best mate.
Everything is shit but I have video games and comics
Sometimes I think I'm too narcissistic, but then I realize that's stupid because I'm perfect.