What episode would you rewrite?

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  • I guess, there are still some wasted characters in season. I.e Carley, Doug, Mark, Chuck, Glenn etc.

    Well, Glenn and Hershel were obviously there to advertise/tie-in the TV show(which I stilll haven't watched), so they obviously weren't gonna stick around for very long. I feel like Carley stopped being important around the raid anyway, so I don't know what else couldn't been done with her besides the more superficial things. Mark was something of a deliberate waste that does have a decent amount of dummied out content behind him, so he's half and half. Doug is a tad wasted given he did more than Carley does, but I'd argue his death did serve its purpose a little better than Carley's so I'm not in too big a hurry to retcon it.
    Chuck is probably the one example of a Season 1 character being completely wasted since there was no real reason he had to die at that point and he's on my list of characters who should've had more to 'em that I want to expand on! ...I just have no idea what I wanna do with him. :P

    I thought it was because it was more recent because a lot of the members on here talk about season 2 a lot more then season one.

    Oh, well yes, Season 2 being more recent with Season 3 on horizon does make it more likely to be talked about. And I mentioned above, Season 1 did its job excellently so there's not much to debate outside of nitpicks and personal preferences, whereas Season 2 suffered from a severe lack of direction in spite of having a much more straightforward story established that results in many elements feeling inconsistent.

    Yeha i kinda didn't like what happened there. It just felt like they all got killed off or lost to set the tone for Lee and Clementine.

    I guess that's a matter of personal preference. Because, objectively, Season 1 succeeds where Season 2 fails in part because it knew how to utilize its characters for the most part. Kenny worked better there because his story acted as a parallel to Lee's story, Ben was a wonderful deconstruction of what it means to be a teenager in a precarious situation, and the Pharmacy Group all had their part to play in the main four's stories, but Lee and Clementine were indeed the main focus of the story and while Lee got far more development than Clementine, the story knew how to spend time giving the supporting cast spotlight while remembering who's number #1.

    I dunno, i was happy with Lee, Clementine, Ben and Kenny, and when they showed up, i wasn't that interested in them.

    Yeah, there was thread a while back debating whether they were completely pointless or not. Given the tone of Season 2, Christa was definitely wasted, though.

    Mrwalto69 posted: »

    I guess, there are still some wasted characters in season. I.e Carley, Doug, Mark, Chuck, Glenn etc. I thought it was because it was more r

  • edited November 2016

    Okay, dude, I really don't wanna sound like I'm picking on you here, but your basic writing skills needs a bit of work. I can make out most of what you mean, but it sometimes takes a moment for me to get your point. So for the sake of other people understanding what we're talking about, I'm going to edit your sentences to be more comprehensible.
    Now that we've got that outta the way, let's get to work:

    That those this one glitch in intel 4 series that lee Everett runs to the fance, that Mark is shot & killed by the bandits.

    Is there?! Because Mark getting shot with an arrow is part of the story, but I never heard of him flat out dying.

    If I do rewrite the story. I wound not but I feel like that Caler and DONG :lol: should be more involved. If I save Dong like I do 90% of my playthrough, Carley will not even be mentioned at all in episode 2 or 3. That to me defeats the purpose of "your choice matters," unless you count season 1 episode 5 with the Stranger.

    Actually, Carley is mentioned by Doug/DONG during certain dialogue choices in which he has survivor's guilt and shows signs of falling into a depression.

    Telltale should’ve added a dream sequence so that whoever Lee kills will haunt Everett. :confused:

    That actually was gonna be in the game at one point.

    Or at the end of the game, they could have a group meeting about whether they thought Lee’s past choices were good or not.

    You mean a group meeting between Lee, Kenny, Ben, Christa, and Omid? Or are we talking bout some Spirit Quest shit here?

    I nortast some incansassly in starved for help episode 2. like jolene, come out of no where and got clementines hat. from her camp. 2. why in the hick was she spying on a 8 year old girl.

    even weeder when I was playing this game on Intel GMA 950 on windows 7. iv got 3 times with Jolene said Danielle tune game closes. that to me tells me that she is delassnal. of thanking that clementines needs protected or that was her doubter. That she died so she's looking after clementine.
    Okay, this is cluttered and confusing that I'm not gonna edit it and just make assumption about what you mean.
    1.Jolene was spying on Clementine because she reminds her of her own daughter and her insanity is causing her to watch over Clementine in hopes that nothing will happen to her, perhaps even considering taking Clementine for herself. The implication behind her presence is that she's basically a wild card who doesn't trust anyone and is keeping tabs on everything that happens in that neighborhood. Also, apparently Jolene was meant to be a red herring due to resembling Clementine, thus making some speculate that she was Clementine's mom.
    2.Danielle was Jolene's daughter who is seen in a picture that can be seen in Jolene's camp. However, I'm pretty sure her name is only mentioned in deleted voice clips, so your computer must be loading that voice clip and then realizing that somethings wrong.
    3.Yes, Danielle is presumed dead because the bandits walked her out into the woods and then Jolene never heard from her again.

    if I have not played this same game on almost impossible hardware from 2006. I might've never got those glitch's. and got small pieces of the story.
    for that ill have to give it as 4 out of 10. because telltale livet to many plot holes that livet unexplen even with those glitches I have a basic idea what telltale was attending to do. Nobody has time or energy to midfield the kit49684.inf. to push those order cards like I do with games.

    Okay, while it's neat that you're talking about the hardware and software of how the game works, I know little to nothing about it so most of that is completely lost on me. If you are having serious glitches, there are probably threads in this community where you can ask about that.

    Good Job, anyway! :smile:

    MicahMoo11 posted: »

    Wright Micah Rough Build 34 (Major Grammar Improvements, sentence rewrite, corrected spelling errors and 5 others) Telltale Community I w

  • Instead of Duck getting bitten, he is shot by one of the bandits.
    Duck still dies and turns and in this playthrough, you or Kenny shoot him.
    Duck attacks Katjaa at the train after he turns. Katjaa shoots Duck and tries to shoot herself but is out of ammo, she then dies. Kenny or Lee shoot her.
    Duck then dies at the train area and turns and bites Katjaa in the neck. Katjaa shoots walker Duck and tries to shoot herself but is out of ammo, then she dies. Lee or Kenny can shoot her.

    Okay then. Not really sure how to feel about this, if I'm honest. On one hand, it makes Duck turning have a more urgent; on the other, it removes the emotional struggle that everyone was going through at the time.

    •Leave Lily at the Motor Inn
    •Let her in the RV

    Ok. Let's see where this goes.

    if you killed Larry, she tries multiple times to shoot you during the bandit raid and play it off as an accident. if you didnt kill Larry, she tries to shoot Kenny.

    Lee/Kenny: You bitch!

    Kenny and Lily get into a big argument and Lily snaps and tries to shoot Kenny but accidently shoots Katjaa. If you have Carely with you, she shoots Lily. If you have Doug, Kenny shoots her.
    They get out and Lily is starting to scare Ben, but Doug/Carely heard what you said about her trying to shoot you, so they tell her they think shes the traitor. When Kenny comes up, of course he agrees. Lily is then left behind.

    :neutral: Boy, you really don't like Lilly, do you?

    In this rewrite, Doug/Carley survive the episode.

    Okay. We'll see where this goes in next episodes.

    Omid and Christa still appear, but this time in the train station.

    Are they with Chuck?

    Didn't really gel with some of these changes, but I'm eager to see where it goes all the say. Good job! :smile:

    i love "Long Road Ahead." but i would love to make some changes now that i think about it. Instead of Duck getting bitten, he is shot by

  • edited November 2016

    Season 1, Episode 2. I loved it and still do, but I've always thought that certain parts of it could have been handled better. I've mentioned some of these changes before, but I'm doing it again.

    I'd utilize one of the ideas I believe Telltale originally had for the opening, which was to either cut off David's leg yourself, or hand it off to Kenny while you cover him and shoot zombies. This would set up the episode's theme of struggling to make the difficult choices, and would be remembered later during the meat locker scene. Thus, depending on your choices, this would also be the start of a potential divide with Kenny, with Kenny losing a bit of faith in Lee if he has to take over with the axe. More importantly, having this as the first choice of the episode would eliminate the whole "David or Travis" element, and rather than die pointlessly at the beginning, Travis would be cut off by the zombies and separates from the group when he runs off into the woods in a blind panic, only to later be revealed as the one the St. Johns are cooking and serving to us.

    There would be a lot more misdirection, and the St. Johns would not be so obvious. A coming conflict with the bandits would be mentioned far more often, making it seem as though that is the focus of the episode, and the group's suspicions would be directly stated that the St. Johns are being so hospitable because they want the group to be their soldiers in return. Again, this would put the focus on that rather than the St. Johns potentially hiding something else. Travis' jacket would be seen on the ground near the campsite where Danny and Lee are scouting, with Danny alluding to the possibility that the bandits have likely taken him. This would support Ben's original backstory which would be included of seeing the bandits carry off friends of his to be tortured and/or raped.

    Danny would also save Lee from walking into another hidden bear trap, warning him that they like to leave inescapable traps for people to walk into, so they can loot bodies after the person is killed by zombies, once again building up the threat of the bandits as this force that is already harassing us at every turn. Then the rug would be pulled out from under us when Lee discovers Travis in the secret room (due to hearing a strange noise and growing suspicions of the family), and when the St. Johns reveal that they were the ones who were leaving those traps.

    More development is given to the deal with the bandits as well, and why the family resorted to cannibalism. I would probably change the time skip to five months, allowing for more time for their fall to occur. They explain that the bandits kept demanding more and more of their vegetables and meat until Terry and a few farmhands attempted a revolt. It failed, and Terry was made an example of, being beaten to death in front of Danny, Andy, and Brenda, who were kept alive to keep the farm going. This would be revealed before the big reveal, probably after the Jolene incident, so as to space out the explanation.

    Eventually, the supplies began to run dangerously low and their quota had to be met or they would be killed. In desperation, they killed and butchered their last two farmhands, who had been beaten so severely during the altercation that they could not contribute anymore, and used it to pay off the bandits, keeping what was left for their next deal. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but in their worsening hunger and with how long it took to grow their crops to replace the ones stolen or used as payment, they began to turn to the meat supply for sustenance. They explain that they try their damnedest to hunt for animals, but if that fails, then they have no choice but to turn to easier prey to keep themselves alive. Because, as Brenda would explain, in the end, survival is survival... and family is all that matters, echoing Hershel's statement with a dark twist.

    Naturally, this leaves Mark, and I would use yet another one of Telltale's original ideas, and kill him off during the bandit attack. I would give him a noble but horrifying end as he sees a bandit hiding in the brush about to kill Lee and takes the arrow for him, causing him to fall back into the electric fence. The brutality of it has a huge impact on Lee, giving more of a reason why Lee would suddenly choose to want to kill Jolene in the forest, with his suspicions of her having been the one to shoot Mark (the bandit that kills him would be female, but her face is masked).

    Prior to that, I'd characterize Mark as the moral and logical center of the group. He is highly valued by everybody; Lilly and Larry respect him for his military experience and for saving the group with the supplies he brought; Kenny and Katjaa value him for always being the first to elect to go out and hunt alongside Kenny and Lee to watch their backs; and Lee and Carley/Doug value him as a good friend who helps to keep the peace. He sees both sides of every argument and manages to calm everyone down at the beginning when they argue. By all accounts, he is the natural choice for the group's leader. So it comes as a blow to everybody when he dies, and thus the seeds for the group's destruction are planted.

    On that note, I'd also have the bandits attack the farm from all over during the tractor scene (indicated by gunshots heard in the distance right before Mark is killed), giving Andy a legitimate reason to turn on the electric fence in a panic, since it never made much sense to me in the original episode and seemed to be a very unnecessary risk he was taking with getting them both killed and rendering the meat tainted.

  • MicahMoo11MicahMoo11 Banned
    edited November 2016

    Wright Micah Final Build 1.4 (Proofread Done) Telltale community

    thick you for helping me unattended with this mysterious Intel GMA 950 glitch. iv had 8 mouths ago. Finally makes sense; thanks for your comment. i'll have to give your comment 11 out of 10 and the 1st like from me for this community.

    damkylan posted: »

    Season 1, Episode 2. I loved it and still do, but I've always thought that certain parts of it could have been handled better. I've mentione

  • I'd rewrite ep. 1 of S1. I think everyone will agree that this episode was seriously lacking in many ways making it overall dissapointing. The thing Telltale should have done to spice thinges up wold be to add Velociraptors along with the zombie's to hunt our heroes and their friends. Telltale clearly has the assets from their jurassic park game to add them in. The humans would then go from the hunters to being the hunted. This is what Telltale shold have done going foward. What was that noise? A zombie? A human? Or something deadlier! Keeaaah!

  • and here we finally have the rewrite lol
    ((Warning: Kenny was the one to fall down instead of Ben but since its Kenny let s use telltale logic and make him randomly dissapear to appear in season 2))
    All that Remains with BEN :D
    the episode starts like normal but with Ben entering the bathroom and getting sho- JK JK
    Ben acompanies Clem to the Bathroom ((And makes a remark on how its weird to enter the girls bathroom ) after Clem drops the water she Hears ben yelling and grabbing Clem s gun and pointing it at MS crazy little fish lady who i definitely dint mistake for Becca when i first played Season 2. Ben will be in a stand off with her and will try to talk her down but since Ben is Ben his finger slips on the trigger and ends up accidentally shooting her arm
    Omid then arrive due to the noise and panic They try to patch her up but she doesnt want to and keeps yelling at them and then she accidentally shoots Christa who had just arrived she then asks for forgiveness and panics and runs away : THE WALKING DEAD
    16 Months later
    We then see Christa without her Baby with Omid ,Clem and Ben
    There will be some exposition to the fact that christa lost the baby due to the bullet wound and that they thankfully had Medicine with them resulting in them saving Christa but losing the baby ((Wont go into the details because im not that much of a fan of gore as some other people in this thread)) Christa will then look for more Wood while Ben and Clem tend to the fire ((Which was lit by Clem because Omid got to teach her this time)) Omid then starts tryng to lighten up the mood with jokes to which Clem can either support him or tell him to shut up ((Ben will be a little annoyed by the jokes but will act like he thinks they re good)) They then hear Christa screaming and the whole Bandit Drama thing happens. You wont get much of a choice as Omid runs towards the bandits resulting in him getting knocked out by one of them Christa will then tell Ben and Clementine to run . The same sequence as episode 1 happens but this time there are 2 people chasing you and Ben and Ben will get separated from clem for a second you will then hear 2 shots while you re in the part of the sequence where Clem trowns the guy to the Zombie you will then see Ben coming walking a bit slowly due to a bullet wound in his arm. Several zombies come towards both of them and Clementine slips and starts to fall in the river Ben then grabs Clementines hand but trips and falls in with her getting washed away together with her by the current .
    They then both wake up by the river and climb the broken wood stairs ((Ben Climbs first and gives Clementine a hand on climbing it))
    they walk in the forest until they find Sam the dog the game proceeds like normal with the exception of Ben being very eager to have found a dog
    They then get to the camp the dog runs toward like in the normal game.
    And Clem starts to look for food while Ben s trowing the Disk for Sam to catch.
    Talking to ben options: ´´Are you okay?´´ ´´Do you think Christa and Omid are okay´´?

    Are you Okay?

    Ben: Yeah especially with this dog we found its been a while since i saw a dog ((While petting it))

    Do you think Christa and Omid are okay?

    Ben: Im not sure but hopefully they re fine but i known that Christa might probably get them both out of that situation.
    Clem: I gotta go look for the food
    Ben: Yeah. ´´ Starts playng with the dog again´´
    Clem then finds the walker and Ben Grabs the pocket Knife before the zombie gets to him and Kills it.
    Clem finds the Can in the garbage.
    After Clem opens the Can.
    Ben: Wait a second Clem.
    Ben then proceeds to go into the broken tent from the camp and finds a dog plate.
    Ben: Put his food in here cause Dogs dont really like to share Food But you probably already knewn that ´´With a smile´´
    they then proceed to eat from the can When suddenly.
    Ben: Own!
    Clem: Are you okay?
    Ben: Yeah its just that the wound still hurts alot .
    after they finish eating they decide to look for a way out of the woods.
    Ben: Clem i think i need to rest for a bit cause this hurts quite a lot
    Clem: Okay ill keep watch.
    Clem then sees several zombies approaching.
    Sam ((The dog)) Runs over to one of them and kills it.
    They then hear the noise of a Crossbow being fired.
    Pete: Luke help the Kid up im almost out of arrows here.
    They then proceed towards the cabin and Carlos Cleans up Ben s Bullet wound ((Not going into detail due to the probability of having several events of Ben screaming))
    Ben talks to Nick and tells him that he reminds him of someone ((Kenny))
    and they quickly Befriend Sarah, Alvin and Luke.
    Luke: Man its been such a long time since i saw an actual dog ´´While petting sam´´
    Nick: Maybe we can teach it a couple of tricks?
    Pete comes in
    Pete: Well son only after we go fishing . Would any of you like to come with?
    Both Clem and Ben agree to go with them. Pete gives them both handguns just in case something happens.
    the episode follows as normal until the moment where the zombies come.
    Ben shoots the walker that originally bit Pete.
    Pete: Thanks. Okay all of you go to where im at.
    Nick: No! Come this way ill cover you!
    Whoever Clem chooses will have ben going towards the other.
    Then the episode ends.
    ((Ben would also be playable in episode 2 to known what happens with whoever you dint go with since there would be some changes due to Ben being there instead of Clem))

  • The hell?!

    DoubleJump posted: »

    I'd rewrite ep. 1 of S1. I think everyone will agree that this episode was seriously lacking in many ways making it overall dissapointing. T

  • edited November 2016

    I'd utilize one of the ideas I believe Telltale originally had for the opening, which was to either cut off David's leg yourself, or hand it off to Kenny while you cover him and shoot zombies.
    Thus, depending on your choices, this would also be the start of a potential divide with Kenny, with Kenny losing a bit of faith in Lee if he has to take over with the axe.

    That was a thing?

    More importantly, having this as the first choice of the episode would eliminate the whole "David or Travis" element, and rather than die pointlessly at the beginning, Travis would be cut off by the zombies and separates from the group when he runs off into the woods in a blind panic, only to later be revealed as the one the St. Johns are cooking and serving to us.

    Okay then; interesting use for him. Did you know that David was supposed to turn up at the St. John's instead of Mark if you left him?

    A coming conflict with the bandits would be mentioned far more often, making it seem as though that is the focus of the episode, and the group's suspicions would be directly stated that the St. Johns are being so hospitable because they want the group to be their soldiers in return.

    Ooh, this sounds badass! And it provides more context for the bandit raid and the Traitor subplot in Episode 3..

    More development is given to the deal with the bandits as well, and why the family resorted to cannibalism. I would probably change the time skip to five months, allowing for more time for their fall to occur. They explain that the bandits kept demanding more and more of their vegetables and meat until Terry and a few farmhands attempted a revolt. It failed, and Terry was made an example of, being beaten to death in front of Danny, Andy, and Brenda, who were kept alive to keep the farm going. This would be revealed before the big reveal, probably after the Jolene incident, so as to space out the explanation.
    Eventually, the supplies began to run dangerously low and their quota had to be met or they would be killed. In desperation, they killed and butchered their last two farmhands, who had been beaten so severely during the altercation that they could not contribute anymore, and used it to pay off the bandits, keeping what was left for their next deal. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but in their worsening hunger and with how long it took to grow their crops to replace the ones stolen or used as payment, they began to turn to the meat supply for sustenance. They explain that they try their damnedest to hunt for animals, but if that fails, then they have no choice but to turn to easier prey to keep themselves alive. Because, as Brenda would explain, in the end, survival is survival... and family is all that matters, echoing Hershel's statement with a dark twist.

    You know what, that would've been a neat addition to the episode. Good idea!

    Naturally, this leaves Mark, and I would use yet another one of Telltale's original ideas, and kill him off during the bandit attack. I would give him a noble but horrifying end as he sees a bandit hiding in the brush about to kill Lee and takes the arrow for him, causing him to fall back into the electric fence.

    Actually, I'm pretty sure Mark was supposed to presumably die during the bandit attack on the hotel in Episode 3. But moving it to Episode 2 works too.

    The brutality of it has a huge impact on Lee, giving more of a reason why Lee would suddenly choose to want to kill Jolene in the forest, with his suspicions of her having been the one to shoot Mark (the bandit that kills him would be female, but her face is masked).

    So, Linda? I appreciate the attention to detail there with providing a reason for one of Lee's determinate choices. :wink:

    Prior to that, I'd characterize Mark as the moral and logical center of the group. He is highly valued by everybody; Lilly and Larry respect him for his military experience and for saving the group with the supplies he brought; Kenny and Katjaa value him for always being the first to elect to go out and hunt alongside Kenny and Lee to watch their backs; and Lee and Carley/Doug value him as a good friend who helps to keep the peace. He sees both sides of every argument and manages to calm everyone down at the beginning when they argue. By all accounts, he is the natural choice for the group's leader. So it comes as a blow to everybody when he dies, and thus the seeds for the group's destruction are planted.

    ...K. I see what you're going for there, but at the same time, it's kinda weird. Might as well give him a cowlick and a sixpack while you're at it. Also, that's several steps above being pretty much what Lee is most of the time.

    On that note, I'd also have the bandits attack the farm from all over during the tractor scene (indicated by gunshots heard in the distance right before Mark is killed), giving Andy a legitimate reason to turn on the electric fence in a panic, since it never made much sense to me in the original episode and seemed to be a very unnecessary risk he was taking with getting them both killed and rendering the meat tainted.

    Actually, there was apparently a reason for that: the St. Johns apparently knew the bandits were in the area, so Andy turned on the fence to kill two birds with one stone while Danny shot Mark in the shoulder while a red arrow rather than white.

    You made one of my favorite episodes even better. Good Job! :smile:

    damkylan posted: »

    Season 1, Episode 2. I loved it and still do, but I've always thought that certain parts of it could have been handled better. I've mentione

  • and here we finally have the rewrite lol
    ((Warning: Kenny was the one to fall down instead of Ben but since its Kenny let s use telltale logic and make him randomly dissapear to appear in season 2))

    Ooh, I like this already--JK.

    All that Remains with BEN :D
    the episode starts like normal but with Ben entering the bathroom and getting sho- JK JK
    Ben acompanies Clem to the Bathroom

    The fuck?!

    ((And makes a remark on how its weird to enter the girls bathroom )

    Oh....

    after Clem drops the water she Hears ben yelling and grabbing Clem s gun and pointing it at MS crazy little fish lady who i definitely dint mistake for Becca when i first played Season 2.

    Really?(You are talking Michelle, right?)

    Ben will be in a stand off with her and will try to talk her down but since Ben is Ben his finger slips on the trigger and ends up accidentally shooting her arm
    Omid then arrive due to the noise and panic They try to patch her up but she doesnt want to and keeps yelling at them and then she accidentally shoots Christa who had just arrived she then asks for forgiveness and panics and runs away

    Oh snap! Even with this being Ben and Omid, can I assume this may have some relevance later?

    There will be some exposition to the fact that christa lost the baby due to the bullet wound and that they thankfully had Medicine with them resulting in them saving Christa but losing the baby ((Wont go into the details because im not that much of a fan of gore as some other people in this thread))

    Well, that's kinda the point of the timeskip, but thanks for providing an explanation anyway!

    The same sequence as episode 1 happens but this time there are 2 people chasing you and Ben and Ben will get separated from clem for a second you will then hear 2 shots while you re in the part of the sequence where Clem trowns the guy to the Zombie you will then see Ben coming walking a bit slowly due to a bullet wound in his arm.

    So, I'm guessing either Ben was being chased by Victor or you just added in a new bandit(possibly Johnny, if you don't plan on using him for the hostage situation) to be presumably killed after shooting Ben?

    Other stuff up till the end

    Sorry I'm not replying to everything here, but I honestly got a little bored reading it.

    ((Ben would also be playable in episode 2 to known what happens with whoever you dint go with since there would be some changes due to Ben being there instead of Clem))

    Um, okay. Wouldn't it make more since for Ben to go with whoever you don't and tell you what happens later or do you just want Ben to have some major screentime in each episode?

    So in summary, I notice you're going for a Lighter and Softer tone in general. Which is definitely interesting since I don't see that to often. Good job! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    and here we finally have the rewrite lol ((Warning: Kenny was the one to fall down instead of Ben but since its Kenny let s use telltale l

  • So as to alot of things here its that i dont really look for the names of characters that dont get their name mentioned ((Besides the credits which is why i said it like that since i dint known her Name was Michelle)) I wanted to see Ben as a playable character and would elaborate more but i dont think him being one would make sense in episode 1 since he d probably be with Clem most of the time unless he was forced to not be with her in situations like In Harm s Way where Ben would be separated from clementine and i would actually put it so that Ben would be playable for that part and you would maybe meet other characters ((Im actually starting to feel like i did a terrible job with this Rewrite ))

    DabigRG posted: »

    and here we finally have the rewrite lol ((Warning: Kenny was the one to fall down instead of Ben but since its Kenny let s use telltale

  • So as to alot of things here its that i dont really look for the names of characters that dont get their name mentioned ((Besides the credits which is why i said it like that since i dint known her Name was Michelle))

    Oh, that's cool. I learned most of the extra characters names from TVTropes and TWD wikia. It actually took me until last month or so to learn that her name wasn't actually mentioned outside of the credits, though.

    I wanted to see Ben as a playable character

    Okay, that's what I thought you were going for when he ran with her. Season3 before Season 3, ya'll! :grin:

    In Harm s Way where Ben would be separated from clementine and i would actually put it so that Ben would be playable for that part and you would maybe meet other characters

    Ooh, sounds enlightening. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, eh?

    ((Im actually starting to feel like i did a terrible job with this Rewrite ))

    Oh no, not really. It's just that you made the transition to dialogue halfway through, which is fine and all except it was nothing but that until the end, so I honestly didn't know what to say. :P

    Keep up the good work, tho! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    So as to alot of things here its that i dont really look for the names of characters that dont get their name mentioned ((Besides the credit

  • edited November 2016

    That was a thing?

    I'm pretty sure. I recall the idea being mentioned in the comments from one of those videos of unused voice clips and such, though I don't remember the exact dialogue and haven't seen the video in a while. Considering one of the unused concepts that I definitely remember was Lee subtly trying to dissuade Clementine from eating human meat by adding too much salt to it, I'm pretty confident that the concept I mentioned was a thing. :P Makes a whole lot more sense, anyway, lol.

    Actually, I'm pretty sure Mark was supposed to presumably die during the bandit attack on the hotel in Episode 3. But moving it to Episode 2 works too.

    Don't know if that was another idea being tossed around, but I know there was definitely unused dialogue between Lee and Lilly in "Starved For Help" where Lee expresses sorrow to Lilly that Mark is dead.

    ...K. I see what you're going for there, but at the same time, it's kinda weird. Might as well give him a cowlick and a sixpack while you're at it. Also, that's several steps above being pretty much what Lee is most of the time.

    Haha. It wouldn't be quite so on the nose in the actual episode, I just wanted to get the point across. The characters wouldn't be singing his praises to the sky or anything. That said, the fact that he seems too good is kind of the point I was going for. A highly skilled and heroic sort of character among a group of flawed, fighting, and self-doubting characters, seemingly being built up for a huge role, only to die well before any of them and in such a callous fashion.

    One idea I neglected to include was that Mark, despite being the popular choice for leader, admits to Lee that he actually has lots of self-doubt about taking on such responsibility, and he feels Lee would be the better choice, replacing Carley's dialogue on the subject to prevent repetition (the usual Carley scene would simply be her giving Lee comfort about his past, developing her role as the positive reinforcement element to Larry's negative, which would play into another facet of her development I plan to write up later). To bounce off of that, my rewritten Lee would be more obviously reluctant about being leader up until this point (so, for instance, no option to assume such a role when questioned by the brothers), and so Mark's words, in conjunction with the fact that he dies shortly after, set Lee up to start to take charge more in the future, like during the Crawford raid, effectively honoring his memory.

    I also sort of like the idea that Mark dies shortly after breaking his hero image and expressing his own doubts to Lee. I think my "Starved For Help" would carry pretty strong themes of deception in various forms. Kenny would be a little more hush hush about his reasons for repairing the RV and wanting to leave; Lilly would pretty much be the same in the sense that she puts on a strong front to hide how tired and stressed she is; Lee is still struggling with his past while Carley helps keep his secret, still telling him he doesn't have to reveal it to anybody; Mark shies away from possible leadership to hide how doubtful he actually is of himself and the group's stability; and naturally, all of this revolves around the greatest deception of all, the St. Johns and their dark secret.

    Actually, there was apparently a reason for that: the St. Johns apparently knew the bandits were in the area, so Andy turned on the fence to kill two birds with one stone while Danny shot Mark in the shoulder while a red arrow rather than white.

    You mean they were attempting to kill them both? It's certainly possible, and I guess Mark surviving made him a convenient target. But if that was indeed the case, why wouldn't Danny just shoot Lee while they were in the forest with no witnesses to further weaken the group? Eh, maybe I shouldn't dwell too much on cannibal logic. :P

    DabigRG posted: »

    I'd utilize one of the ideas I believe Telltale originally had for the opening, which was to either cut off David's leg yourself, or hand it

  • I'm pretty sure. I recall the idea being mentioned in the comments from one of those videos of unused voice clips and such, though I don't remember the exact dialogue and haven't seen the video in a while.Makes a whole lot more sense, anyway, lol.

    Okay then. Makes Kenny's role as Lee's Shadow Archetype even more relevant, I guess.

    Don't know if that was another idea being tossed around, but I know there was definitely unused dialogue between Lee and Lilly in "Starved For Help" where Lee expresses sorrow to Lilly that Mark is dead.

    Huh. To be fair, this could also apply to the final scene of the episode, but whatever.

    It wouldn't be quite so on the nose in the actual episode, I just wanted to get the point across. A highly skilled and heroic sort of character among a group of flawed, fighting, and self-doubting characters, seemingly being built up for a huge role, only to die well before any of them and in such a callous fashion.

    Alright.

    One idea I neglected to include was that Mark, despite being the popular choice for leader, admits to Lee that he actually has lots of self-doubt about taking on such responsibility, and he feels Lee would be the better choice, replacing Carley's dialogue on the subject to prevent repetition (the usual Carley scene would simply be her giving Lee comfort about his past, developing her role as the positive reinforcement element to Larry's negative, which would play into another facet of her development I plan to write up later). To bounce off of that, my rewritten Lee would be more obviously reluctant about being leader up until this point (so, for instance, no option to assume such a role when questioned by the brothers), and so Mark's words, in conjunction with the fact that he dies shortly after, set Lee up to start to take charge more in the future, like during the Crawford raid, effectively honoring his memory.

    Oh, an inspirational one-shot. I gotcha--it's still a little eyebrow raising--but I gotcha.

    I also sort of like the idea that Mark dies shortly after breaking his hero image and expressing his own doubts to Lee. I think my "Starved For Help" would carry pretty strong themes of deception in various forms.

    An episode-wide theme! A great idea!

    You mean they were attempting to kill them both? It's certainly possible, and I guess Mark surviving made him a convenient target. But if that was indeed the case, why wouldn't Danny just shoot Lee while they were in the forest with no witnesses to further weaken the group? Eh, maybe I shouldn't dwell too much on cannibal logic. :P

    I was actually referring to Mark and the bandits: Mark would be wounded/killed as an excuse to use him for dinner while the bandits won't be able to rush the farm should they decide to. Nevermind that there was a perfectly good gate nearby they could've gone through. As for why they didn't shoot Lee, probably because they only had one shot using the element of surprise. Plus, having him around as a representative of the Motel Group increases the chances of the whole group being willing to stay if they explain what happened to Mark away.

    Also, I got the colors swapped with each other: Mark got hit with a white arrow, while the bandits only fired red ones.

    damkylan posted: »

    That was a thing? I'm pretty sure. I recall the idea being mentioned in the comments from one of those videos of unused voice clips

  • Yeah i haven't watched the tv series either, i watched the first episode and couldn't get into it. But yeah seeing how i discovered the walking dead from a youtuber who i was subscribed to that posted lee meeting clementine and shawn and chet, i was interested in the game, so too be honest, when i met Hershel and Shawn, i had no idea they were from the tv series or comics because i hadn't read or watched any of it, so i never knew until after they were cameos. Yeah, besides her romantic angle with Lee, she started dropping off towards arriving at the dairy farm.

    I actually ready somewhere that there was a deleted scene where you could save Mr Parker and that if he was saved, that he was the one who would be dinner for the st johns and not Mark, so maybe Mark could've been a bit more important but i guess they decided to stay with mr parker dying and having Ben develop a bit more. Also on Ben, there was a choice where you could leave him instead of taking him with you back to the group.

    Doug was actually a homage to a guy who actually worked for telltale, so i think they put him in just for a tribute to the guy.

    Haha yeah true, a lot of people think Chuck's purpose was to give Lee that speech on protecting Clementine and not treating her like a girl, but i felt he was killed off too quickly as i felt he had more to give, but with savannah and crawford, it was hard to figure out a roll for him.

    True, with more mistakes and complaints, people will talk more about that. I guess we will see once season 3 is over how these forums are. i have a feeling season 2 will be neglected, unless stuff is tied in with season 3.

    That's true, i actually said to someone in the past that Season 1 focused on Lee and Clementine the most, but all the supporting characters got their own bit of the cherry. Where as season 2 characters weren't as developed as well which is partially due to Clementine being the main centre and Kenny coming in. I figure, had season 2's character had the effort season 1s characters got, it would've been a whole lot different.

    Was there? What did the people say? Did they think they were wasted? or a bit of both?

    DabigRG posted: »

    I guess, there are still some wasted characters in season. I.e Carley, Doug, Mark, Chuck, Glenn etc. Well, Glenn and Hershel were ob

  • But yeah seeing how i discovered the walking dead from a youtuber who i was subscribed to that posted lee meeting clementine and shawn and chet, i was interested in the game, so too be honest, when i met Hershel and Shawn, i had no idea they were from the tv series or comics because i hadn't read or watched any of it, so i never knew until after they were cameos.

    Yeah, pretty much the same except the subscribe part.

    I actually ready somewhere that there was a deleted scene where you could save Mr Parker and that if he wasn't saved, that he was the one who would be dinner for the st johns and not Mark, so maybe Mark could've been a bit more important but i guess they decided to stay with mr parker dying and having Ben develop a bit more.

    I knew about that. Plus, you can still leave him in the game and take Travis(who got himself shot) instead. You just have to wait a good while.

    Also on Ben, there was a choice where you could leave him instead of taking him with you back to the group.

    Really? Someone else told me something similar recently, so I guess I'll look into that at some point.

    Doug was actually a homage to a guy who actually worked for telltale, so i think they put him in just for a tribute to the guy.

    Oh, I don't think I heard that. How nice!

    True, with more mistakes and complaints, people will talk more about that. I guess we will see once season 3 is over how these forums are. i have a feeling season 2 will be neglected, unless stuff is tied in with season 3.

    Where as season 2 characters weren't as developed as well which is partially due to Clementine being the main centre and Kenny coming in. I figure, had season 2's character had the effort season 1s characters got, it would've been a whole lot different.

    Maybe. To be honest, I never got that "Clementine is hogging the spotlight" notion I've seen a few people claim. After, Lee had more goin' on with him and things were fine, so I just don't get that.

    Was there? What did the people say? Did they think they were wasted? or a bit of both?

    Here it is! Read a your own discretion.

    Mrwalto69 posted: »

    Yeah i haven't watched the tv series either, i watched the first episode and couldn't get into it. But yeah seeing how i discovered the walk

  • I was thinking about if i actually made a rewrite following up on this i might put something like a Friend Carley had on her work as a reporter for example ((Not sure if its a stupid idea or not ))

    DabigRG posted: »

    So as to alot of things here its that i dont really look for the names of characters that dont get their name mentioned ((Besides the credit

  • K. A bit random, but okay.

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    I was thinking about if i actually made a rewrite following up on this i might put something like a Friend Carley had on her work as a reporter for example ((Not sure if its a stupid idea or not ))

  • I Wonder if you should make another Thread for Season 1 only since almost no one makes season 1 rewrites in this thread

  • edited November 2016

    Eh...maybe? I don't know if that would go over well, since the contributions have been limited to begin with. I'll mull it over and try to see if it'll work out.

    Edit: I editted the head post to highlight that all installment are welcome, so time will tell if that'll bring the noise.

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    I Wonder if you should make another Thread for Season 1 only since almost no one makes season 1 rewrites in this thread

  • yeah except they both turn into walkers in the end which is to have Ben explain that you come back a walker no matter how you die.

    it's on the wiki page, was a deleted scene which was probably just different re writes. Probably would've been good for Mr Parker to have lived, because then Mark would've had a better development.

    Some argue that the first half of all that remains is all about her. But i think it was an overall of season 2 just not being as good as season one writing wise or development wise, i mean there are people who loved it more then season one. it's down to what you enjoy, just more people obviously like season one.

    thanks, i just had a look at it. it seems it's divided by people who liked them because, they were set up to be the parents for clementine, because omid was funny, or they were likable characters, the other is because they were useless. i personally think that the timing was too long in season one. the majority of the story was told. and we were set up with what was to happen with the stranger, they didn't get enough time to develop and then season 2 came and they were killed off straight away. i think my reason for not liking them has a lot to do with the fact that i liked the group of lee, clementine, chuck, ben and kenny. i just thought that when they came, it ruined that little group of mine that i liked, because chuck was killed of straight away in the next episode.

    DabigRG posted: »

    But yeah seeing how i discovered the walking dead from a youtuber who i was subscribed to that posted lee meeting clementine and shawn and c

  • edited November 2016

    i actually like Lily, just making changes for the sake of this thread. lol

    DabigRG posted: »

    Instead of Duck getting bitten, he is shot by one of the bandits. Duck still dies and turns and in this playthrough, you or Kenny shoot h

  • Some argue that the first half of all that remains is all about her.

    That was kinda the point: the first episode is supposed to introduce the main characters and set up the main plot. The complaints I saw seemed to imply that Clementine was stealing screentime from the Cabin Group, Sarita, and the Howe's Defects but that definitely applies to Kenny instead.

    But i think it was an overall of season 2 just not being as good as season one writing wise or development wise, i mean there are people who loved it more then season one. it's down to what you enjoy, just more people obviously like season one.

    Yeah, unfortunately. And its a shame too cause I put off exposing myself to it until the disc collections were out back in June. What made Season 1 objectively better is that it had a vague story it was going to tell in and it had a set destination, so while there were a few detours here and there and there were a few characters that people really took a shine to, it remembered what was important and stuck to its guns. Season 2 had a much clearer story set up but it quickly went awry by either rushing its main plot points, overindulging in shilling and/or flanderizing its characters, or trying way too hard to pander to its audience and as a result, it isn't as strong as the Season it was a followup to.

    thanks, i just had a look at it. it seems it's divided by people who liked them because, they were set up to be the parents for clementine, because omid was funny, or they were likable characters, the other is because they were useless. i personally think that the timing was too long in season one. the majority of the story was told. and we were set up with what was to happen with the stranger, they didn't get enough time to develop and then season 2 came and they were killed off straight away. i think my reason for not liking them has a lot to do with the fact that i liked the group of lee, clementine, chuck, ben and kenny. i just thought that when they came, it ruined that little group of mine that i liked, because chuck was killed of straight away in the next episode.

    Basically bad timing. I gotcha.

    Mrwalto69 posted: »

    yeah except they both turn into walkers in the end which is to have Ben explain that you come back a walker no matter how you die. it's o

  • Okay then. Just noticed how fast things escalated there.

    i actually like Lily, just making changes for the sake of this thread. lol

  • ep 3 from season two. i would just make it longer and more interactive

  • i think it's all over the place, i mean the cabin group doesnt come to halfway through the first episode, then they get from there till 3 quarters of the next episode until kenny comes, so they didnt get much chance. in season one, lee was only by himself for the first 10-15 minutes until he meets clementine then it's not long after that you meet kenny. writing was a bit off in season 2.

    true, there are so many things that they could've done a lot better.
    with the stranger in season one, he was built up as mysterious and then revealed at the end, carver is billed at the start of a house divided, and then killed off in the next episode. lukes deception with jane, nick and sarahs pointless death's. christa and omid getting killed off. its a mess at times, but it's still an ok game.

    DabigRG posted: »

    Some argue that the first half of all that remains is all about her. That was kinda the point: the first episode is supposed to intr

  • Yes s2 episode 5 is just bad...same people doing s3...hopefully they have learned.

    DabigRG posted: »

    Yes, that was a disappointment. One of the many that exists due to poor set up and carry over of elements established in Amid the Ruins.

  • enter image description here

    DoubleJump posted: »

    I'd rewrite ep. 1 of S1. I think everyone will agree that this episode was seriously lacking in many ways making it overall dissapointing. T

  • edited November 2016

    Amid the Ruins

    Okay, setting this up now to make up for my own negligence in this thread. Believe it or not, I don't plan on making too many huge changes to the overall plot at the moment. Here's some vague ideas here and there:

    • Nick's Redemption:(Determinate)
    • Sarah's Corruption:
    • Just a Thought:(Determinate)
    • Liabilities:
    • Mike's Regrets:
    • Versatility, Warmth, and Faith:
    • The Sudden Ease:(Determinate)
    • The Russian Ambush:
  • edited November 2016

    EDIT/UPDATE 1 1/2: Hoo boy, been a while since I improved the weakest episode, eh? Well, this is nothing too serious, unfortunately. I do want to expand on the things hinted at up there, but for now, I'm gonna add in the neat little story arc and plot point titles I did for the last two episodes here.

    • Clementine the Supposed Brute:
    • Taking a Beating:
    • Carver and the Sheep:
    • Best of a Bad Situation:
    • Homewrecked:
    • Sarah's Corruption:
    • “Ralph”/Forgiveness:
    • The Murder of Nick:(Determinant)
    • Nick’s Redemption:(Determinant)
    • Weak of Will:
    • One Long Day/Becca:
    • Kenny and Sarita:
    • George:
    • Orphans:(Determinant)
    • Two Degrees of Separation:
    DabigRG posted: »

    EDIT/UPDATE 1: Clementine: Needed more focus devoted to talking about her opinions and feelings on certain things, namely her relationshi

  • And, pray tell, how would you go about making the episode longer and more interactive? And on that note, how would the story and the characters be affected by this?

    jamex1223 posted: »

    ep 3 from season two. i would just make it longer and more interactive

  • Hey there. You've made your severe distaste for that episode well known in the past and so I would like to ask: what are some of the things that irked you the most? How would you go about changing them?

    No Going Back. I'd need a lot of time, coffee, money, and more time. Because every-single-thing would need drastic overhauls to get the e

  • I won't dare to plunge into every stitch that tore from the fabric of the season thanks to NGB.

    But I'll employ the magic number of three cardinal sins the episode defecated on before throwing them off the cliff.

    1.) Motivations were bafflingly so far off the spectrum of relatability and coherency that it seems like an alien wrote it. A town that was just off the ridge, and everyone wants to trust the guy who set up an ambush not because the town shows signs of danger or because of incredibly stipulating circumstances that would draw a ration conclusion other than the town. It's a whim they go off on just so that Kenny and the group of nothings can argue and scream about the moral question of restraining a man who was dangerous. What?

    2.) The tone was... I actually don't know what the tone was going for. And this is coming from someone who likes being challenged by narratives that give off a conflicting tone. But in order to further the artistry and balance the story in a fair way, not have Clem in a completely pointless dream sequence just to serve fan service blatantly and without cohesion, then jump to her in an M. Night Shyamalan-esque plot twist in which she no longer has a shred of agency. What a twist!

    3.) And last and least, death. This is something I've recently expanded my thoughts on. I watch quite a few films that have made me uncomfortable and even anguished in some respects. But, to me, death is something that deserves respect and intelligence. And I don't like how, particularly, season 2 almost relished on death in order to draw dialogue and little else. No more was it apparent than in NGB where Clem survives a frozen lake while Luke dies cause "fuck him". Nothing interesting, insightful, or responsive. Just... pop, he dies cause he has to. And I don't like that kind of stuff, it makes my skin crawl. Narratives can inflict the most vile violence Imaginable, as long as it's given a sign of intelligence I can appreciate it's use. I have no use for a Mexican standoff resulting in nothing but cool action poses and badass guy choking on blood because that's what keeps attention.

    DabigRG posted: »

    Hey there. You've made your severe distaste for that episode well known in the past and so I would like to ask: what are some of the things that irked you the most? How would you go about changing them?

  • A town that was just off the ridge, and everyone wants to trust the guy who set up an ambush not because the town shows signs of danger or because of incredibly stipulating circumstances that would draw a ration conclusion other than the town.

    That is a plot point that I was honestly ignorant about until started pointing it out due to taking a significant break from the game after Amid the Ruins. I also would've liked for them to give a handwave as to why they just don't head for the city itself. The fact that the previous episode had Kenny argue with Luke that they needed to try to get there by sundown indicated they still had a decent walk ahead of them and the reasons they give in this episode should've been used in conjunction with that rather than ignoring the obvious continuity, something the episode was clearly being a bit picky about.

    But in order to further the artistry and balance the story in a fair way, not have Clem in a completely pointless dream sequence just to serve fan service blatantly and without cohesion, then jump to her in an M. Night Shyamalan-esque plot twist in which she no longer has a shred of agency.

    Yeah and the way they trigger(haha) it is a decent idea with a few minor issues attached. What was the actual point of that anyway?

    And I don't like how, particularly, season 2 almost relished on death in order to draw dialogue and little else. No more was it apparent than in NGB where Clem survives a frozen lake while Luke dies cause "fuck him". Nothing interesting, insightful, or responsive. Just... pop, he dies cause he has to.

    Yeah, that is a serious issue in the latter half of Season 2 in particular. Alvin, Pete, Carlos, and Sarita made some amount of sense what with them leaving people behind to mourn them and feel the void of their absence but Nick(1st death),Troy(to an extent), Natasha(to a lesser extent), and especially Sarah("canon" death) definitely fall into that trap of dying mostly because "shock and drama!" rather than because. While I think the idea behind Luke's death is even stronger than Nick's in terms of it's inherent impact, it does come off as a little more contrived than it needed to be.

    I won't dare to plunge into every stitch that tore from the fabric of the season thanks to NGB. But I'll employ the magic number of three

  • The whole of season 2.

    That and the end of s1 ep 4 & ep5

  • The whole of season 2.

    Damn! :lol:
    Feel free to give a few details about what you would change according to the guidelines.

    That and the end of s1 ep 4 & ep5

    Hmm...interesting. What would you change about them?

    lottii-lu posted: »

    The whole of season 2. That and the end of s1 ep 4 & ep5

  • Feel free to give a few details about what you would change according to the guidelines.

    oh yea sorry about that. well i guess i was really disappointed with the whole of it, so heres what i'd do:

    • make the apocalypses more realistic. especially for a 11 year old.
    • luke to be a more caring friend to nick. i know its supposed to be like that way, but luke shouldnt rely on a minor to look after his adult depressed friend, who is grieving. which in my opinion, isnt really caring at all.
    • sarah and nick to be treated better than what they've got. no off screen deaths or where the survivor dies later in the same episode in the same horrific way.
    • everyone to stop being dependant on the kid. i know she's capable for some badass shit, but shes not super woman.
    • probably a bunch of other flaws which i cant think of at the moment.

    Hmm...interesting. What would you change about them?

    lee doesnt get bit therefore he does not die at all.

    DabigRG posted: »

    The whole of season 2. Damn! Feel free to give a few details about what you would change according to the guidelines. That and the end of s1 ep 4 & ep5 Hmm...interesting. What would you change about them?

  • make the apocalypses more realistic. especially for a 11 year old.

    More realistic?

    luke to be a more caring friend to nick. i know its supposed to be like that way, but luke shouldnt rely on a minor to look after his adult depressed friend, who is grieving. which in my opinion, isnt really caring at all.

    Okay, this was a small complaint that I never quite got: the reason Luke seemed a little dismissive of Nick in Episode 2 was because he was supposed to be focused on leading the group through the mountains and he was trusting Clementine to help him look out for Nick as he goes through a tough time. It probably doesn't help that Nick seemed to be a bit too touchy about things to really be talked down for long, as shown when Luke tries to reason with him after he panics and shoots Matthew and later when they discover that Matthew was Walter's friend and Nick starts to panic with guilt. I definitely agree that each of the duos throughout the Season should've gotten more screentime together but that's unfortunately a limitation of the shorter episodes and the resultant pacing.

    lee doesnt get bit therefore he does not die at all.

    Oh. Well, that is definitely a gamebreaking change.

    lottii-lu posted: »

    Feel free to give a few details about what you would change according to the guidelines. oh yea sorry about that. well i guess i was

  • well since this thread s getting really silent recently it means its time for me to do another rewrite! ((WITHOUT Dialogue this time! well maybe just a little, or not depends on how much i want to annoy Dabig today))
    Now for a Season 1 Episode 2 Rewrite Starved for help :D:
    The episode starts like normal with Mark and Lee talking but the changes come in when they get to Ben, that professor guy which i always forget the name of and Travis.
    the process of Chopping The professor s leg off or not s still the same the difference is. Travis decides not to go vomit on a spot close to the walkers that are coming at them <_<.
    Anyway they take the professor with them if you chopped his leg off.
    And the game proceeds as normal the talk about the supplies Lily getting angry at you for bringing more people, etc the usual stuff.
    This time you get 5 items instead of 4 because of the inclusion of Travis.
    You Can talk to Mark who will instead of being fixing the fence will have a walkie talkie with him which was out of batteries
    Lee can ask Mark what the walkie talkie s for and he will say its because he was using to keep in contact with a friend from which he got separated from during the outbreak ((Yes i did get the idea because of the Rick and Morgan thing in the series )) (((also i changed it so that Mark is friends with Lily and they worked in the same military place because I Wanted to have Mark not be a ´´Insert character to get eaten´´))
    If Carley s alive Mark will just go up the stairs and come back when the ST Johns arrive.
    If Doug s alive Mark will be interested on Doug s Alarm and ask him how he made it.
    then the ST Johns come they make their deal and Lee, Travis, Mark and Carley/Doug head out to the farm.
    everything s normal till Carley/doug says she s going back to the group to tell them about the farm s defenses.
    Lee, Travis and Mark head out to check the fence s perimeter.
    Travis will talk about what happened before they found Lee ((Althought very reluctantly ))
    the Bandits attack and Travis gets shot .
    when you get back to the Farm s entrance and Brenda asks him to ´´Take Care´´ Of Travis
    the group arrives and you get a choice to either let brenda take care of Travis ((Which makes end up the same as Mark in the normal game))
    or Send him back with the group along with Mark.
    Differences: If you Let Brenda take care of Travis ((HOW COULD YOU T_T!)) the dinner scene proceeds the same way as normal but in the meatlocker Mark will side with Lily on attempting to save her dad . ´´Sending Mark back with Travis´´ The Dinner scene s a bit different because Brenda has no meat to bring to the table she just brings bread and after they finish eating Brenda will then something like if they enjoyed their last meal and Andy and Danny will point their guns to Lee s group and since they have no choice they re led to the Barn and are locked behind doors. ((The game proceeds as normal in the meatlocker scene if you Sent Travis and Mark back to the motor inn))
    and here we go:
    ´´Help Lily´´
    Mark restrains Kenny while Lee starts attempting to save Larry .
    Larry ends up turning into a Walker and Attacks Lee Mark let s go of Kenny who immediatelly kills Larry in his Walker form and Yells: ´´ THERE YOU
    ASSHOLES HAPPY NOW?´´ Lily will still be a little mad at Kenny but not as much as in the original game.
    ´´Help Kenny´´
    you get in a short fight with Mark while Kenny kills Larry to which in the aftermath Mark critizes you for helping kill Lily s dad and doing it when Clementine was present.
    at this point Carley , Ben and Travis < ((If he was spared from his horrible fate of being eaten by duck)) will arrive . You find brenda
    Mark will help during the fight with Andy if Lily does not ((If you help Kenny))
    On their way back to the Motor Inn if Travis was saved he will express his relief on the fact that you sent him back to the Motor Inn or he would probably not be having this conversation with him.
    They then find the car take the supplies in it ((With Lee and Clementine rioting if you choose))
    Mark will take some of the batteries found by Carley and Turn on his radio to talk to his Friend: Pete.

  • WITHOUT Dialogue this time! well maybe just a little, or not depends on how much i want to annoy Dabig today

    To be fair, it wasn't the presence of dialogue itself that bothered me--it was the sudden shift from no dialogue to nothing but dialogue that was jarring. You can use dialogue if it gets your point across, but just be sure to use it in moderation.

    The episode starts like normal with Mark and Lee talking but the changes come in when they get to Ben, that professor guy which i always forget the name of and Travis.

    Mr. David Parker

    This time you get 5 items instead of 4 because of the inclusion of Travis.

    Interesting.

    ((Yes i did get the idea because of the Rick and Morgan thing in the series ))

    I still haven't watched the show, so I'll just assume Morgan is another police officer.

    (((also i changed it so that Mark is friends with Lily and they worked in the same military place))

    Yeah, I realized that just last night when Mark was talking to Lilly. I always thought they were friends.

    Travis will talk about what happened before they found Lee ((Althought very reluctantly ))

    Aw, so I'm assuming this is addressing the original plans for Ben's backstory and the bandits that is still technically in the game.

    the group arrives and you get a choice to either let brenda take care of Travis ((Which makes end up the same as Mark in the normal game))or Send him back with the group along with Mark.
    ´´Sending Mark back with Travis´´ The Dinner scene s a bit different because Brenda has no meat to bring to the table she just brings bread and after they finish eating Brenda will then something like if they enjoyed their last meal and Andy and Danny will point their guns to Lee s group

    I'm having mixed thoughts about this, to be honest. Mostly where Brenda is concerned.

    Larry ends up turning into a Walker and Attacks Lee Mark let s go of Kenny who immediatelly kills Larry in his Walker form and Yells: ´´ THERE YOU

    ASSHOLES HAPPY NOW?´´ Lily will still be a little mad at Kenny but not as much as in the original game.
    While I'm not too big on making Kenny be right here, I do like the clarification and the fact that it didn't have any extenuating damages aside from Larry himself.

    you get in a short fight with Mark while Kenny kills Larry to which in the aftermath Mark critizes you for helping kill Lily s dad and doing it when Clementine was present.

    The only problem I have with this is what the hell is Lilly doing at this point, shielding Clementine?

    On their way back to the Motor Inn if Travis was saved he will express his relief on the fact that you sent him back to the Motor Inn or he would probably not be having this conversation with him.

    Neat. Curious to see what you have planned for young Travis in the future.

    They then find the car take the supplies in it ((With Lee and Clementine rioting if you choose))

    Explain?

    Mark will take some of the batteries found by Carley and Turn on his radio to talk to his Friend: Pete.

    ...Que?

    Alright, while I have a few issues here and there, I had an easier time getting through this one. Keep up the good work! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    well since this thread s getting really silent recently it means its time for me to do another rewrite! ((WITHOUT Dialogue this time! well m

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