Feedback on Short Film, Smoke?
Hello there. I admit that this might not be the best place to post this, but I'm an amateur filmmaker and a buddy and I recently made a short film over the summer called, Smoke, and I've been really struggling to get constructive feedback on it. I posted my previous film, Not for Me, on here a year or two back and I got some decent feedback so I'm trying my luck here again.
Lemme know what you think.
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I've done a decent amount of film making and this is very well done.
It doesnt seem like its going for a super strong narrative but that is alright. Its def best to work on small projects like this as it gets you a good feel for how to actually film a film. You can have one of the best scripts and narrative in the world but if it is filmed awful it really aint gonna cut it. And this is filmed very well, good focus and camera shots and angles and movement that make it feel a lot more stylistic than just amateur camera work. Sound design is also very well done I would say. I think the biggest take away from your video is the lighting as some shots the lighting isnt balanced out so well (specifically the wide shots of him sitting on the side of the road facing us)
But I think its very well done and you should keep it up. You're already showing to be very knowledgeable and seem to know how to actually film a short film and make it feel like a film. You should def try for your next project for a little stronger of a narrative as I feel at the moment that would be the next logical step into advancing into making more complex films. From there I would then start to invest in some better equipment but I would take it slow before you start making big purchases. Work with what you have and gradually move up the scale and I think it will work out well for you, good luck homie
Thanks for the feedback, Poogs and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Your assertions are pretty spot-on. The goal was to make this film pretty small-scale because I know first-hand what can happen when you get too ambitious with a project that doesn't have the budget to allow you to fully realize your ideas. I also think your gripes with the film are perfectly fair. The lighting is kinda unbalanced mostly because the best lighting equipment I have is this portable LED that I got off of Amazon for like thirty bucks and had to get really creative with its placement during filming. I think I did a decent enough job given those circumstances, but better lights definitely would've benefitted this project a lot. I'm definitely gonna try to invest in better equipment in the future once I have the finances to do so.
If I had to criticise it, the itself isn't super interesting once you find out what's going on. The wide shots aren't particularly good looking compared to the rest of the video and the lighting isn't all that consistent in terms of placement, 1:40 has the light in front of him but in the very next shot it's to his side, and colours switches between warm and cool looking.
These are gonna sound a bit nitpicky but the wide shot at 5:57 looks a bit out of place, maybe should have just had him stand up in the shot before that bit and then cut to the cigarette on the ground? There also seems to be a dead pixel throughout the whole video 54 seconds in but I assume that was out of your control. Also maybe you should have picked a better looking font for the title (the nitpickiest of them all).
Other than that I thought it was good! Really well shot and acted for the most part! The strangling and the gunshot are especially well put together in my opinion and the close ups of the MC smoking look great. Love the flash and the deafened gunshot.
I kinda figured that was the type of light you were using, but for the most part the lighting is very well done and fits the tone. I would still recommend for your next project to still aim for a 5 minute mark and try a story with dialogue and see how it comes out. Even if it comes out and you arnt happy with it, its important to do so anyway as its good practice and gives you more ideas on how to expand next time. Also Id recommended making whatever story you choose to be set/filmed during the day so you can have a bit more natural light, as filming at night with less powerful equipment (or lack of enough equipment) can sometimes making the film not look as pretty. (I did a short film that was mostly at night in a dark house and it suffered from a lot of lighting issues yours had like the light just not seeming natural in some scenes and due to the camera I was using there was a lot more grain that I would have liked, but your video doesnt have any grain problems imo)
Also just curious, what type of camera were you using for this film?
I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the honest criticism. The biggest takeaway from this project is that I need to invest in better lights because the one cheap portable LED I have isn't gonna cut it.
I used a Canon Rebel T6I. It'd be sick if I could get a BlackMagic Cinema or an FS700, but they're ridiculously expensive.
I feel that. Honestly great work with the camera though, Canon cameras like that I honestly feel always come out looking super home video but you did a really good job making it look a lot more like a more professional camera was being used.
Thanks, man. The 50 millimeter lens definitely helps the T6i present a more cinematic look.
For what I assume is only your second short film, this is really good. The visual storytelling on display is compelling and interesting, it's shot fairly well and has some very interesting lighting and color choices that seem to have some symbolic value, and the acting is fairly solid as well.
My only gripe is that the film could have benefited from some different sound choices. The sound editing for the most part is fine but there are points where it either seems to loud or too quiet, i was adjusting my volume a lot. And while the lack of music made the struggle near the end far more tense, the rest of the film appears to have a somber tone and could have benefited from at least one notable piece of music. I also think the shot of the man standing over the invader's body could have been shot more interestingly and with a lot more menace, but that's just me.
Beyond that, it's a very admirable film and something I actually might see myself rewatching to pick up on some symbolic tones that you might have set up. If I could add this to my 2019 list it'd definitely be pretty high up. Nice work man, keep it up.
EDIT: sorry for the extra notification, had to edit something and add an extra thought i had
This is actually my fourth short film. (Eighth if I counted my shitty 48 hour film festival projects.) I have my fair share of experience in filmmaking, but I just never posted a lot of my projects on here.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much (like seriously, you're making me blush) and I really appreciate the honest criticism. I know I'm not perfect and I'm always eager to find ways to improve myself for future projects. So thank you
PS: Thanks for the rating on Letterboxd.
I feel like you're defying the lighting suggestions I made on your previous request for feedback by filming something that's deliberately supposed to be dark.
I feel this one is good for what it is, but there isn't enough visible to know exactly what happened. I think the story would be more captivating with some additional hints.
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it.
That was the goal. The audience isn't supposed to know exactly how the fight between the homeowner and the burglar ended hence the hiding of faces during the flashback sequences. Although, adding additional hints is fair.
Let's just say I wasn't able to see enough (maybe another lighting issue) to relate to this guy. I don't even know if he's the "good guy" or the "bad guy." We need enough hints to have some idea how to feel about him.