"Oh, yeah look what I found this morning" - sighed Rose and pointed at her fish tank. Her goldfish Montoya was joyfully swimming in and out an angry-looking skull's eye sockets.
"Oy, get me out of here, for Hellbeard's sake!"
Nighttime, 10 pm. Guybrush stood over the decaying corpse of the lookout of Melee Island. He appears to have been killed by his favourite teacher from kindergarten. What caused this once friendly female to become such a ruthless pirate, working as a henchman (woman) for wages, no man could say.
Still, all his pockets were filled with neat stuff, like a valuable rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. Beside him was the only hint, leading to the hideout of the kindergarten-killer, a red rose and a note with the letters R.W scrawled in with the lookouts blood. Guybrush decides to investigate by heading towards Melee town. His first port of call is Skull Island, to pick up some pearl earrings for his and Elaine's wedding anniversary and also to sign a petition to change the name 'skull island' to 'duck island' and heads on his way to Melee Island again (all the while thinking what a worth while trip Skull Island was). Guybrush walks into the Scumm bar and approaches a surly looking pirate and asks him if he knows anything of the initials R.W. The pirate responds by saying "No."
So Guybrush approaches a ever so slightly less surly looking pirate and asks the same question, this pirate responds by saying "I wonder if you mean old Rose Wilco, the crazy old lady over on Phatt Island?!" So Guybrush leaves the Scumm Bar to...go to the harbour. He charters his favourite ship: Le Météore Dangereux. But there had been some changes down at the shipyard, and rather than his regular crew, Guybrush found himself facing.JoJo Jr. and family.
"What are you doing here?", says Elaine, "I thought we were supposed to be going out for dinner tonight. I can't have you galavanting around the caribbean on a ship full of monkeys."
To which Guybrush replied "I'm not galavanting... I don't even have a swordfish. We were just going to fill my pants with useless items and if there's time some useful ones".
Elaine folded her arms and said"If you don't come with me this instant, I'll fill your pants with ferrets!"
But Guybrush, having lept aboard his ship, shouted back "I don't think there's enough room for anymore!"
He then set sail for Phatt Island, to meet the foe!
Le Chuck, who still held a grudge on Guybrush for breaking his "most jelly beans consumed in under one minute" record, was ready for Guybrush's arrival. He had fashioned a sword out of chewing gum and toothpicks. However, his shoddy workmanship was no where as shoddy as the swords over at "Stan's previously owned toothpick and chewing gum sword shop". While waiting for Guybrush to come into port LeChuck decided to check up on Rose Wilco to see if she was still folowing his cunning plan. LeChuck had everything figured out, and the only thing missing was the blood of Guybrush Threepwood, which, when accquired, would ensure that LeChuck could finally win the hand of Elaine.
Meanwhile, aboard Le Météore Dangereux, Guybrush was regretting not buying porthole defoggers from Stan when he'd had the chance. Unable to see anything in the cabin he went on deck only to be advised by his butler that the ship had run aground. "Where are we - and since when have I got a butler?"
"Oh sorry sir," said Winslow, "I took the liberty of stowawaying on your ship and appointing myself as butler. I do hope you don't mind."
"Not at all Winslow! In fact, I would have been very disappointed if the case had been otherwise. So where are we?"
"Unfortunately, sir, the winds had taken us to the cruel and violent Rhombus of San Hanuman!" - said Winslow and pointed at the twisted stormy clouds above.
Meanwhile, LeChuck kicked down Rose Wilco's front door with his mighty pirate boots and an "Arrr!" that would make a lesser man shiver in fear. But Rose wasn't impressed by her master's show of force, after all she was sharing a house with him at the time. After a few moments, LeChuck realised his mistake and bashfully replaced the door. "What do you want? I'm busy" snapped Rose Wilco. LeChuck said "I came to tell you that Guybrush Threepwood..." LeChuck stopped and cleared his throat, "Maybe you should sit down first, I have some shocking news."
"What is it?" Rose asked.
"It's Geekwood... he is stronger then we thought.. my sources tell me that...that....he managed to kill the great Santino!".
At that moment an evil boney rattle filled the room " Mwuuuuhahahaha, lies lies lies!! Who dares spread inaccurate rumours of the the demonic pirate skull Murrr...errrr.... Santino!"
"Oh, yeah look what I found this morning." - sighed Rose and pointed at her fishtank. Her goldfish Montoya was joyfully swimming in and out an angry-looking skull's eye sockets.
"Oy, get me out of here, for Hellbeard's sake!"
"Uh... you must be thinking of my cousin, Murray" said Murray, "He's the handsomest, most eeevil skull in the Tri-Island area! With one blink, he could-"
"Blink?"
"...With one bite he could crush a man's soul into a million pieces! Bwahahahahaha! Really, though, he's a great guy, good with kids."
With great effort, Murray managed to control his temper. Rather than rain down a thousand curses upon LeChuck, Rose Wilco, and the goldfish, Murray enticingly remarked "Know this, that only I, Mu- um, Santino, know how to ensure the destruction of Guybrush Threepwood and the love of the fair Elaine forever, by means of
So, while Rose and LeChuck mop up all the water and pick up all the glass from what remains of her fishtank, let us return to Winslow and Threepwood, who are beginning to wish they'd checked the weather reports that morning.
'sorry' guybrush says putting away his flying romote control ruber chicken with a pully in the middle toy.'wait whats that!' screams winslow.its a giant manatee behind you! and he is about to swallow the ship!' guybrush stares at winslow.with his teeth grinding guybrush utters from the side of his mouth 'winslow.. wrong script..' winslow looks at guybrush and then realised his mistake ' oh! err.... i mean a giant cloud made of....
fire! Run for the hills, Captain! It's every man for himself! Abandon ship! Where's the map?! Somebody make sure the map is oka--"
"Winslow, get a hold of yourself" said Guybrush, slapping his Butler on the back of the head. "It's just a regular cloud. And how are you so drunk? We only had one bottle of grog on the-- woah!" Guybrush was knocked over as Le Météore Dangereux was slowly enveloped by a storm of fire, and the sea beneath them began to turn red "Oh," said Guybrush, "you were talking about that fire cloud... yikes!"
it worked! gybrush throws the rubber chicken with a pully in the middle at the cloud of fire. little did guybrush, winslow and the rest of the monkey crew know that this was voodo fire. the voodo powers within the fire bring the chicken to life! he lands on the deck. guybrush and wnslow look at each other as the chicken says...
"Thtand back, thitizens!", leaping into action. "Halt, voodoo cloud!" says the lisping chicken, holding a hand (shaped wing) out to the cloud, "You shall bother theeth men no more! Take leave of thith ship and retreat to the firey depths from whenth you came!". As the chicken puffed out its chest, the voodoo cloud was sucked into the darkness of its pulley. "You saved us! Way to go, novelty chicken!" said Guybrush, kneeling down to talk to the chicken, "What's your name?"
Nighttime, 10 pm. Guybrush stood over the decaying corpse of the lookout of Melee Island. He appears to have been killed by his favourite teacher from kindergarten. What caused this once friendly female to become such a ruthless pirate, working as a henchman (woman) for wages, no man could say.
Still, all his pockets were filled with neat stuff, like a valuable rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. Beside him was the only hint, leading to the hideout of the kindergarten-killer, a red rose and a note with the letters R.W scrawled in with the lookouts blood. Guybrush decides to investigate by heading towards Melee town. His first port of call is Skull Island, to pick up some pearl earrings for his and Elaine's wedding anniversary and also to sign a petition to change the name 'skull island' to 'duck island' and heads on his way to Melee Island again (all the while thinking what a worth while trip Skull Island was). Guybrush walks into the Scumm bar and approaches a surly looking pirate and asks him if he knows anything of the initials R.W. The pirate responds by saying "No."
So Guybrush approaches a ever so slightly less surly looking pirate and asks the same question, this pirate responds by saying "I wonder if you mean old Rose Wilco, the crazy old lady over on Phatt Island?!" So Guybrush leaves the Scumm Bar to...go to the harbour. He charters his favourite ship: Le Météore Dangereux. But there had been some changes down at the shipyard, and rather than his regular crew, Guybrush found himself facing.JoJo Jr. and family.
"What are you doing here?", says Elaine, "I thought we were supposed to be going out for dinner tonight. I can't have you galavanting around the caribbean on a ship full of monkeys."
To which Guybrush replied "I'm not galavanting... I don't even have a swordfish. We were just going to fill my pants with useless items and if there's time some useful ones".
Elaine folded her arms and said"If you don't come with me this instant, I'll fill your pants with ferrets!"
But Guybrush, having lept aboard his ship, shouted back "I don't think there's enough room for anymore!"
He then set sail for Phatt Island, to meet the foe!
Le Chuck, who still held a grudge on Guybrush for breaking his "most jelly beans consumed in under one minute" record, was ready for Guybrush's arrival. He had fashioned a sword out of chewing gum and toothpicks. However, his shoddy workmanship was no where as shoddy as the swords over at "Stan's previously owned toothpick and chewing gum sword shop". While waiting for Guybrush to come into port LeChuck decided to check up on Rose Wilco to see if she was still folowing his cunning plan. LeChuck had everything figured out, and the only thing missing was the blood of Guybrush Threepwood, which, when accquired, would ensure that LeChuck could finally win the hand of Elaine.
Meanwhile, aboard Le Météore Dangereux, Guybrush was regretting not buying porthole defoggers from Stan when he'd had the chance. Unable to see anything in the cabin he went on deck only to be advised by his butler that the ship had run aground. "Where are we - and since when have I got a butler?"
"Oh sorry sir," said Winslow, "I took the liberty of stowawaying on your ship and appointing myself as butler. I do hope you don't mind."
"Not at all Winslow! In fact, I would have been very disappointed if the case had been otherwise. So where are we?"
"Unfortunately, sir, the winds had taken us to the cruel and violent Rhombus of San Hanuman!" - said Winslow and pointed at the twisted stormy clouds above.
Meanwhile, LeChuck kicked down Rose Wilco's front door with his mighty pirate boots and an "Arrr!" that would make a lesser man shiver in fear. But Rose wasn't impressed by her master's show of force, after all she was sharing a house with him at the time. After a few moments, LeChuck realised his mistake and bashfully replaced the door. "What do you want? I'm busy" snapped Rose Wilco. LeChuck said "I came to tell you that Guybrush Threepwood..." LeChuck stopped and cleared his throat, "Maybe you should sit down first, I have some shocking news."
"What is it?" Rose asked.
"It's Geekwood... he is stronger then we thought.. my sources tell me that...that....he managed to kill the great Santino!".
At that moment an evil boney rattle filled the room " Mwuuuuhahahaha, lies lies lies!! Who dares spread inaccurate rumours of the the demonic pirate skull Murrr...errrr.... Santino!"
"Oh, yeah look what I found this morning." - sighed Rose and pointed at her fishtank. Her goldfish Montoya was joyfully swimming in and out an angry-looking skull's eye sockets.
"Oy, get me out of here, for Hellbeard's sake!"
LeChuck noted, "You remind me of someone on my crew. But I don't remember killing a Santino... did you change your name since then?"
"Uh... you must be thinking of my cousin, Murray" said Murray, "He's the handsomest, most eeevil skull in the Tri-Island area! With one blink, he could-"
"Blink?"
"...With one bite he could crush a man's soul into a million pieces! Bwahahahahaha! Really, though, he's a great guy, good with kids."
Lechuck said "oh i remember Murry he was the skull used to melt candles on" With great effort, Murray managed to control his temper. Rather than rain down a thousand curses upon LeChuck, Rose Wilco, and the goldfish, Murray enticingly remarked
"Know this, that only I, Mu- um, Santino, know how to ensure the destruction of Guybrush Threepwood and the love of the fair Elaine forever, by means of--" Lechuck reached for his sword and quickly decapitated Murry from Santino body "I need no help" he bellowed. So, while Rose and LeChuck mop up all the water and pick up all the glass from what remains of her fishtank, let us return to Winslow and Threepwood, who are beginning to wish they'd checked the weather reports that morning.
"Jumpin' monkeys!" Exclaimed Winslow, "I don't believe it! Don't look now Guybrush, but there's A giant rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle hovering above us"
"sorry" guybrush says putting away his flying romote control ruber chicken with a pully in the middle toy. "wait whats that!" screams winslow. "its a giant manatee behind you! and he is about to swallow the ship!" guybrush stares at winslow. with his teeth grinding guybrush utters from the side of his mouth "winslow.. wrong script.." winslow looks at guybrush and then realised his mistake "oh! err.... i mean a giant cloud made of fire! Run for the hills, Captain! It's every man for himself! Abandon ship! Where's the map?! Somebody make sure the map is oka--"
"Winslow, get a hold of yourself" said Guybrush, slapping his Butler on the back of the head. "It's just a regular cloud. And how are you so drunk? We only had one bottle of grog on the-- woah!" Guybrush was knocked over as Le Météore Dangereux was slowly enveloped by a storm of fire, and the sea beneath them began to turn red "Oh," said Guybrush, "you were talking about that fire cloud... yikes!"
Use Mints with fire cloud..... nothing interesting happens. Use giant rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle with cloud..... it worked! gybrush throws the rubber chicken with a pully in the middle at the cloud of fire. little did guybrush, winslow and the rest of the monkey crew know that this was voodo fire. the voodo powers within the fire bring the chicken to life! he lands on the deck. guybrush and wnslow look at each other as the chicken says "Thtand back, thitizens!", leaping into action.
"Halt, voodoo cloud!" says the lisping chicken, holding a hand (shaped wing) out to the cloud, "You shall bother theeth men no more! Take leave of thith ship and retreat to the firey depths from whenth you came!". As the chicken puffed out its chest, the voodoo cloud was sucked into the darkness of its pulley. "You saved us! Way to go, novelty chicken!" said Guybrush, kneeling down to talk to the chicken, "What's your name?"
"Name? Give me a thecond, lad, I jutht came to live! Now, letth thee, how about...umm... Limpy? Roothter McRubberbottom? Tholomon Kane? Oh, darn my luck, I think the voodoo is wearing off!" And with a nasty sound and the smell of burnt rubber the chicken was liquified into a tiny pink puddle of ectoplasm.
"30 day warranty? Is that all they gave you? Well, don't worry, lad, I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve yet!" said Stan, waving his arms about furiously
"Oh, great... it's you" said Guybrush
"Yes, friend, me! Welcome to Stan's Discount Pound Shop, where we battle the credit crunch buy selling absolutely ANYTHING so long as it's worth just a pound - and then, my friend, we sweeten the deal by cutting the price, on anything from rubber chickens with or without pulleys, toasters, hifis, navigational aids, pencils, pottery, novelty Halloween costumes, boxes, plates, gramaphones, saucy daguerrotypes, and a whole host of remaindered books, just like "101 Islands You Must Sail to Before You Die", "How to Paint With Watercolours", "How to Paint with Watercolours in a Desert", "Inspector Canard's How to Detect Murderers", "1001 Voodoo Recipes", "Escape from Monkey Island - Official Strategy Guide", Complete Works of Thomas Rowley, "Monkey Spotter Guide", Shakespeares "Vortigern" - Replica Souvenir Edition, "Zen and the Art of Giant Robot Monkey Maintenance", "Why I Blew Up LeChuck" by Guybrush Threepwood-"
*DONG* "Oh... my... my face..."
"Would you like me to hit him again, sir?" said Winslow, holding a frying pan.
"Look, Stan," said Guybrush, "We're on a very important mission. We don't need any stowaways, and we definitely don't need any of your junk. Except maybe a compass. We're trying to get to Phatt Island and I'm not sure any of us know where we are..."
"A compass? Why, I've got just the thing! You look like the kind of guy who'd benefit from our Automatic Navigon 3000 range Dual-Pin, Magnetic Core, Quad-direction, Glass ca-" *DONG*
"Winslow, easy on the frying pan! Look, skip the sales pitch, Stan - I'll take it. Which way is Phatt Island?"
"Let me just check!"
Stan swiftly tucks the coins deep in his blue plaid suit, throws a compass to Winslow and with a wink jumps off the ship. Guybrush and Winslow rush to the edge and see something strange right next to the ship. It's part boat, two parts tent and three parts junkheap. How "Stan's Discount Pound Shop" still floats is a mystery.
"Ah, hewe it is!" Stan says and shows his head from inside, holding some kind of map between his teeth.
'ahhhh monkey spit!' guybrush scream's. winslow, you dont happen to have any giant snake that would be willing to swallow me so i can grab the stuff it has eaten by any chance? 'no sir.. fresh out' winslow says back. 'ahhh ok. well i guess we will havto navagate by the stars winslow' so guybrush and winslow sail off into unknown waters. a few hours later guybrush aproaches an island ' i sure hope this is phatt island' guybrush says. little did guybrush and winslow know that this island was infact...
After a week's difficult sailing through treacherous storms (which just goes to show that Guybrush should have been paying more attention to what Winslow told him), they finally made landfall at Turtle Island, but as Guybrush stepped down onto the sandy beach of what he mistakenly thought was Phatt Island, his "razor-sharp" instincts told him something was very wrong - for, in the bushes in front of him, lurked twenty fierce-looking pirates, each more horribly be-weaponed than the last.
"Please don't give us away," sobbed Captain Tramolino, "we're using this island as a hiding place, the dreaded Morgan Le Flay is after us!!"
"On second thoughts", said Guybrush, as Morgan Le Flay's alarm clock (cunningly disguised as a two-handed broadsword) began to ring, and as he lowered the telescope from his eye, "perhaps we've got less time than we thought. Maybe I shouldn't have been watching those cannibals all this time - come to think of it, I don't actually think that they're on *this* island at all."
Meanwhile on Phatt Island...
Rose Wilco grows tired of waiting for Guybrush to arrive at Phatt island. She grabs a suit case, packs it and decides it's time to take out her competition. She jumps on her ship and sets sail to...
should not have come here. Governor Bloodnose of Kettlepot Island has sent for Inspector Canard to investigate the mysterious death of the Lookout of Melee Island, and the even more mysterious fact that he was on a totally different island, I mean, OK, his eyesight's bad, but puh-lease - but I digress, for Canard is coming *here*, today, and will undoubtedly fix upon you as chief suspect if you cannot concoct a reason for him to suspect Guybrush Threepwood, so, I say to you, fly from here, now, unless you wanna stop here and discuss how cool my sword is, I've got it out here to show you and everything."
As another figure approaced, Rose was mere seconds from death.
"Hello. My name is Richard Lampost, and I have an offering for you." He said, handing her a golden watch."
Meanwhile...
the mysterious man was hiding round the corner, rechecking his list of voodoo instructions, and cursing Lampost under his breath for interfering. "Gold watches nothing," he muttered, "the elixir I smeared over my cutlass blade's gonna kick in any minute, and I don't want any random passers-by witnessing her rise to immortality."
Just as the special elixir was supposed to kick as stated in the voodoo instructions a familiar evil laugh emerged from what appeared to be Rose's body.
"Muuhahahahahaaa! Fear me the great and all powerful Murray!" Just under where Rose was bleeding out, Murray was looking quite terrifying cover in her blood with something lodged into his right eye socket. It was...
Lampost, noticing the bizrre reaction to the elixir, immediately drew out a revolver. "Krandle! I know you are here!" He yelled out, referring to the mysterious man. Little did he realize "Rose" drew her saber, and stabbed Lampost in the chest. As he collapsed, his golden watch stopped ticking. "Stop Threepwood" He said, in his last dying words.
Comments
"Oy, get me out of here, for Hellbeard's sake!"
"Blink?"
"...With one bite he could crush a man's soul into a million pieces! Bwahahahahaha! Really, though, he's a great guy, good with kids."
"Winslow, get a hold of yourself" said Guybrush, slapping his Butler on the back of the head. "It's just a regular cloud. And how are you so drunk? We only had one bottle of grog on the-- woah!" Guybrush was knocked over as Le Météore Dangereux was slowly enveloped by a storm of fire, and the sea beneath them began to turn red "Oh," said Guybrush, "you were talking about that fire cloud... yikes!"
"Oh, great... it's you" said Guybrush
"Would you like me to hit him again, sir?" said Winslow, holding a frying pan.
"Look, Stan," said Guybrush, "We're on a very important mission. We don't need any stowaways, and we definitely don't need any of your junk. Except maybe a compass. We're trying to get to Phatt Island and I'm not sure any of us know where we are..."
"A compass? Why, I've got just the thing! You look like the kind of guy who'd benefit from our Automatic Navigon 3000 range Dual-Pin, Magnetic Core, Quad-direction, Glass ca-" *DONG*
"Winslow, easy on the frying pan! Look, skip the sales pitch, Stan - I'll take it. Which way is Phatt Island?"
Stan swiftly tucks the coins deep in his blue plaid suit, throws a compass to Winslow and with a wink jumps off the ship. Guybrush and Winslow rush to the edge and see something strange right next to the ship. It's part boat, two parts tent and three parts junkheap. How "Stan's Discount Pound Shop" still floats is a mystery.
"Ah, hewe it is!" Stan says and shows his head from inside, holding some kind of map between his teeth.
"Please don't give us away," sobbed Captain Tramolino, "we're using this island as a hiding place, the dreaded Morgan Le Flay is after us!!"
"Hmm.... I think we're safe - Morgan's working to Pacific Standard Time, so there's simply *hours* before anything she does will reach us."
Rose Wilco grows tired of waiting for Guybrush to arrive at Phatt island. She grabs a suit case, packs it and decides it's time to take out her competition. She jumps on her ship and sets sail to...
"Hello. My name is Richard Lampost, and I have an offering for you." He said, handing her a golden watch."
Meanwhile...
"Muuhahahahahaaa! Fear me the great and all powerful Murray!" Just under where Rose was bleeding out, Murray was looking quite terrifying cover in her blood with something lodged into his right eye socket. It was...