Reginald Van Winslow's AWESOME FACTS !!!

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  • edited November 2009
    Winslow discovered together the secret of Monkey Island, the secret of Blood Island, and the Secret of the whole Caribbean. And in the remaining ten minutes, he had a cheerful friendly moment with the Melee Sentinel.
  • edited November 2009
    Reginald van Winslow is HORATIO TOQUAMADA MARLEY!
  • edited November 2009
    Reginald van Winslow is HORATIO TOQUAMADA MARLEY!

    Lol !
  • edited November 2009
    Reginald Van Winslow can hold his breath for 10 hours

    Reginald Van Winslow went and returned from the Davy Jones Locker. Twice.

    Reginald Van Winslow had six children. With a mermaid.

    The Van Winslow voodoo doll kicks your ass, if you stick some pins.

    Van Winslow circumnavigated the universe.

    Van Winslow plays Tales o MI with graphic detail on 27.

    Van Winslow can drink lemonade from bottomless mugs.
  • edited November 2009
    Maxilyah wrote: »
    Darth Vader may be
    Luke's father
    , but Winslow is Darth Vader's father.

    Wow! That's the second most unnecessary spoiler I've ever seen after
    this
    one.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow doesn't read spoilers, he already knows everything
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow LET Guybrush knock him off the Screaming Narwal.

    Winslow is the real Voodoo Lady.
  • edited November 2009
    Reginald Van Winslow voices Roger Jackson
  • edited November 2009
    *Some pirate kids piss their name in snow. Van Winslow can do it in concrete.
    *LeChuck and Van Winslow once competed in a "Who's got the most balls" competition. Van Winslow won by 10.
    *Van Winslow fills in his tax forms by just staring at them.
  • edited November 2009
    When you read Van Winslow backwards, you get "Van Winslow".

    There are no good maps or bad maps, or complete maps, or incomplete, or bigscaled or smallscaled or any other kind. There are only those at which Van Winslow likes to point, and at which he doesn't.
  • edited November 2009
    jmm wrote: »
    Ron Gilbert will not reveal the secret until Winslow says so

    Ron Gilbert is based on characters created by Van Winslow

    Winslow took a dump and called it "Booty Island"
  • edited November 2009
    Farlander wrote: »
    There are no good maps or bad maps, or complete maps, or incomplete, or bigscaled or smallscaled or any other kind. There are only those at which Van Winslow likes to point, and at which he doesn't.

    Haha, brilliant!
  • edited November 2009
    Nemiant wrote: »
    The Van Winslow voodoo doll kicks your ass, if you stick some pins.

    Don't you mean...

    Van Winslow's voodoo doll sticks you with some pins! :D
  • edited November 2009
    Nemiant wrote: »
    Van Winslow plays Tales o MI with graphic detail on 27.
    dazz1286 wrote: »
    Winslow doesn't read spoilers, he already knows everything
    dazz1286 wrote: »
    Reginald Van Winslow voices Roger Jackson

    These are hilarious.

    Vacaylians evolved legs because Winslow told them to. Then he changed his mind.
  • TimTim
    edited November 2009
    When searching for pointless rubber trees, Van Winslow does not seek himself. He has pirates pointing on maps, to do it FOR him.
  • edited November 2009
    Van Winslow once scared some pirates so badly that they gave up pirating to become the fettucini brothers.

    Meathook thought he had imprisoned Van Winslow, but Van Winslow simply put a parrot in his place and left instead.

    The monkey island cannibals are what they are because they thought Van Winslow looked awfully tasty.

    LeChucks beard stayed alive because Van Winslow willed it to.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow does always win, just slow. *grins, ducks & runs*
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow knows Deadeye Dave's story by heart. In fact, he was one of the main protagonists. But he doesn't need prostheses anyways. His body is made of steel!
  • edited November 2009
    no islands exist until guybrush points at the map for winslow. winslow then forces the islands into exisitance
  • edited November 2009
    BBC Top Gear's mysterious Stig learned everything he knows now from Wilmslow.

    Wilmslow invented *all* booby traps known to man and 325 more he can readily use if anyone else tries to board a ship, using only half a matchstick.
  • edited November 2009
    Mortal enemies Chuck Norris and Reginald Van Winslow signed a peace treaty for the sake of preserving the universe. Once Chuck Norris's guard was down, Reginald Van Winslow beat him senseless with his own Total Gym.
  • edited November 2009
    Van Winslow only asks people to point at maps for his amusement, he already knows where they want to go.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow keelhauled himself. By standing still and moving the boat around him. He had an itch.
  • edited November 2009
    Just as a point of interest...shouldn't the true title of this thread be, "Reginald Van AWESOME's Winslow Facts!!!" :D
  • edited November 2009
    Reginald Van Winslow has porcelain teeth, and they don't bother him at all.

    Reginald Van Winslow knows 14 words that rhyme with "orange."

    Reginald Van Winslow knows the Secret of Monkey Island, he knows the exact location of Big Whoop, his tears can remove curses from diamond rings, and he knows a dozen variations of the Ultimate Insult. Guybrush Threepwood's life would have been much simpler if he had met Reginald Van Winslow sooner.
  • puzzleboxpuzzlebox Telltale Alumni
    edited November 2009
    Arodin wrote: »
    Guybrush Threepwood's life would have been much simpler if he had met Reginald Van Winslow sooner.

    Guybrush Threepwood's life would have been much simpler if he had been Reginald van Winslow.
  • edited November 2009
    Seriously? Winslow facts? No way is he worthy of Chuck Norris-like facts.

    Here's a good one: Winslow is a moron.
  • edited November 2009
    Seriously? Winslow facts? No way is he worthy of Chuck Norris-like facts.

    Here's a good one: Winslow is a moron.

    if you mess with him he will give you the old scurvy buttens
  • edited November 2009
    balin2k wrote: »
    no islands exist until guybrush points at the map for winslow. winslow then forces the islands into exisitance

    that is actually true if you have such low memory on your computer that only one island fits in…

    winslow got a pirate, swam to monkey island and big whoop, won dozends of sea battles (with his bare hands) and made up the unltimate insult all while guybrush found out how long he can hold his breath.
  • edited November 2009
    Aise wrote: »
    Winslow keelhauled himself. By standing still and moving the boat around him. He had an itch.

    :D


    Winslow fought a dairy farmer and his cow at the same time, while they screamed "i am rubber" and "i am glue"
  • edited November 2009
    Jopie wrote: »
    :D


    Winslow fought a dairy farmer and his cow at the same time, while they screamed "i am rubber" and "i am glue"

    Winslow can actually win with "I am rubber, you are glue".

    ~The reason club 41 members used to wear blindfolds was so that they weren't blinded when Winslow walked in

    ~If Guybrush had just drawn "La Esponga Grande" on the map and pointed to it, Winslow would have found it without the summoning artifacts.

    ~Guybrush wasted his time feeding the sponge. If he had fed the sponge to Winslow, the pox wouldn't just have been absorbed; it would have been destroyed.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow doesn't need to press CTRL+SHIFT+W to win, he always wins.
  • edited November 2009
    DinghyDog wrote: »
    Winslow doesn't need to press CTRL+SHIFT+W to win, he always wins.
    Winslow invented CTRL+SHIFT+W to win. But as you said, he hasn't ever used it because he always wins.


    When Winslow sees a random skull and asks "Murray?" it always turns out to be Murray.

    Winslow got a rope, a bottle of rum, a boomerang, a diamond studded cutlass, and a plastic swirly straw from his future self in the Mists o' Time Marsh. When he met up with his past self later on he kept these items for himself and it didn't create a paradox.

    Winslow doesn't need to fold a map to make the jungle paths change. He folds the jungle paths to make the map change.
  • LupLup
    edited November 2009
    Farlander wrote: »
    Winslow built the Great Chinese Wall by himself

    you're wrong! Van Winslow was the reason for the Chinese to build it... but he just walked through it.


    Van Winslow goes into plunder islands forrest to scarf giant snakes down, jumps into quicksand for fun and could pull himself out again but mostly he forces the sand to carry him out.

    El Pollo Diablo has a scary looking painting of Winslow on the wall of his house.
  • edited November 2009
    Lup wrote: »
    you're wrong! Van Winslow was the reason for the Chinese to build it... but he just walked through it.
    No, you're both right. The Chinese wanted to build the Great Wall to keep Winslow out... so they hired a guy to build it (Winslow in disguise), then when he was finished building it he walked through it, and laughed.
  • edited November 2009
    Seriously? Winslow facts? No way is he worthy of Chuck Norris-like facts.

    Winslow isn't worthy? Chuck Norris isn't worthy of "Chuck Norris-like facts". Chuck Norris is the freakin' Texas Ranger and Total Gym n00b. What's so cool about that?

    Winslow beats Norris any day, even when confined to bed rest, sick with the pox, with both arms tied behind his back, legs strapped down, blindfolded, and gagged.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow invented CTRL+SHIFT+W to win

    He also invented "W" itself, which we use in whole lot of words where "w" is wery wimportant.
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow isn't worthy? Chuck Norris isn't worthy of "Chuck Norris-like facts". Chuck Norris is the freakin' Texas Ranger and Total Gym n00b. What's so cool about that?

    Winslow beats Norris any day, even when confined to bed rest, sick with the pox, with both arms tied behind his back, legs strapped down, blindfolded, and gagged.

    Norris is the epitome of manliness (hollywood manliness, that is). Winslow is the exact opposite.
  • edited November 2009
    Norris is the epitome of suck. Quit trollin'. If you don't love Winslow, you said your peace, so get out. :D
  • edited November 2009
    Winslow connects the hip bone to whatever other bone he darn well pleases, and it makes a perfect skeleton every time!

    Edit: And the skeleton usually turns out to be Murray and/or Santino
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