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A Prank - Chuck Norris Pronounced Dead At The Age Of 67

Secret FawfulSecret Fawful
edited April 2010 in General Chat
Chuck Norris, just turned 67 in March Died two hours after being admitted to the Morton Plant Hospital in Florida. He was vacationing in Clearwater, FL. when witness Thomas Scott said, “He just fell off of the jet ski, the Scuba rental manager came out and pulled him back to shore. An ambulance was there within 5 minutes and took him away.”

Witnesses say he made it to the hospital at approximately 7:30pm (EST), and was pronounced dead at 9:40pm. Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris left behind a loving wife and 5 children. Chuck was an outspoken conservative republican and was very vocal with his views. Chuck wrote a column for WorldNetDaily. Chuck Norris had almost 40 movies under his belt which began in the late 60’s..

Chuck Norris, you will be missed my friend R.I.P.

Article


I wonder what will happen to all those Chuck Norris jokes now.

chuck-norris1.jpg

Chuck, you really will be missed. My sympathies to his family.

Discuss.
I can't believe you guys are actually having to guess at whether or not this is fake.
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Comments

  • Rather DashingRather Dashing
    edited April 2010
    A quick Google search doesn't show any reveals from a reliable news source, and conflicting reports of the rumor's validity.

    I'm skeptical.
  • coolsomecoolsome
    edited April 2010
    I think the articles a prank I remeber reading megan fox was a transexual and who used to be a man told everyone and looked dumb when it was fake
  • corruptbigginscorruptbiggins
    edited April 2010
    well for one thing Chuck Norris is 70 as he was born in 1940.
  • Rather DashingRather Dashing
    edited April 2010
    corruptbiggins wrote: »
    well for one thing Chuck Norris is 70 as he was born in 1940.
    He was 67 in 2007, though.

    Which, according to this blog post, is when this story was posted.

    I had no idea Chuck Norris was dead for the past three years.
  • evilguy12evilguy12
    edited April 2010
    Is this as real as that fake Barry Chuckle death story? The one with the prostitute and the heart attack?
  • IrishmileIrishmile
    edited April 2010
    See this is why you shouldn't die around April fools day... its too confusing for everyone...
  • coolsomecoolsome
    edited April 2010
    Irishmile wrote: »
    See this is why you shouldn't die around April fools day... its too confusing for everyone...

    or have a birthday on Aprils fools you get screwed out of presents
  • evilguy12evilguy12
    edited April 2010
    Sailorcuteness wrote: »
    or have a birthday on Aprils fools you get screwed out of presents

    It was a good job I was born a day early :D.
  • GuybrushWilcoGuybrushWilco
    edited April 2010
    If Chuck Norris died, it would be all over the news right now.
  • GinnyNGinnyN
    edited April 2010
    Well the Article is from June 29th, 2007, for starters.

    So, unless he died like, 3 years ago and nobody knew it, I will say this is false..
  • IrishmileIrishmile
    edited April 2010
    I'm also sure the Earth would change orbit and we would all be burned up by the sun.
  • pwblainepwblaine
    edited April 2010
    AHHH!!! ZOMBIE CHUCK IS NOW PRODUCING MOVIES!!! RUNNNNNN
    Birdie & Bogey (producer; 2009)
  • GaryCXJkGaryCXJk
    edited April 2010
    Chuck Norris constantly "dies". Once every several years he sheds his current body to get a stronger one.
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Yeah, this is quite clearly bollocks.
  • JedExodusJedExodus
    edited April 2010
    I remember when I was at school, the celebrity deaths included (but weren't limited to) The Rock, Kenan & Kel, Wee Man, Kel (on his own this time) and Zack from Saved By The Bell.

    Thankfully these media titans are still with us today
  • tredlowtredlow
    edited April 2010
    No, he's really dead.
    ASK-AXE-COP-12.png
  • zmallyzmally
    edited April 2010
    Don't ya just hate it when Chuck Norris rises from the dead at Easter?
  • FealiksFealiks
    edited April 2010
    Chuck Norris' awesomeness dropped for me when I read this quote (in reply to being told about the Chuck Norris fact "There is no theory of evolution; just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live"):
    It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: it's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.
    By the way, without Him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things — and so can you.
  • MusicallyInspiredMusicallyInspired
    edited April 2010
    Why must his awesomeness drop because of that? I'm sure there's a lot of stuff that lots of other people you look up to believe that if you knew you wouldn't agree with. Does that make people less awesome?

    Well then again, if he said he believed child prostitution and pedophilia was ok then I'd have to say that his awesomeness level would drop a notch or ten for me.
  • AvistewAvistew
    edited April 2010
    I didn't like when he was in a commercial and said something like "If my family is under attack, I can defend them. But I prefer to use a gun".
    What? If he had said something like "I can defend them, but not everyone can, so I support guns" or something, that would be different. But he was like "I prefer to use a gun".
    Yeah, why just protect your family when you can also kill someone in the process? >.>
  • FealiksFealiks
    edited April 2010
    Avistew wrote: »
    I didn't like when he was in a commercial and said something like "If my family is under attack, I can defend them. But I prefer to use a gun".
    What? If he had said something like "I can defend them, but not everyone can, so I support guns" or something, that would be different. But he was like "I prefer to use a gun".
    Yeah, why just protect your family when you can also kill someone in the process? >.>

    Yeah that's kinda messed up
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Avistew wrote: »
    I didn't like when he was in a commercial and said something like "If my family is under attack, I can defend them. But I prefer to use a gun".
    What? If he had said something like "I can defend them, but not everyone can, so I support guns" or something, that would be different. But he was like "I prefer to use a gun".
    Yeah, why just protect your family when you can also kill someone in the process? >.>

    To play Devil's Advocate, a game I am quite partial to, wouldn't the criminal be highly likely to just go steal again... like the parasite he is?
  • EverlastEverlast
    edited April 2010
    Well guys i got you 3 hot news:

    The bad news is Chuck was as dead as a rat in a trap. Deader than the dinosaurs in an exhibition, reaally reaally as dead a fly swated and squashed by a bug squasher.

    The good news Chuck Norris is back ladies and gentlemen. He beat dead with a kick and a kimura in a fight to the 2nd dead.

    The great news is that Chuck Norris announced his comeback to movies starting with:

    Missing in Action 3: Lost in the Asylum
    The Delta Force 3: Chuck vs Erectile Dysfunction
    and... he will revive the series YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

    WALKER TEXAS RANGER!! Woo finally im so excited i wont be able to sleep the whole year!
  • Olaus PetrusOlaus Petrus
    edited April 2010
    I wonder why people bother to create these scam news about someone's death. Death isn't really that good topic to joke about (but naturally if the joke is good enough, then you can joke about anything, but these joke news aren't even funny).
    Fealiks wrote: »
    Chuck Norris' awesomeness dropped for me when I read this quote (in reply to being told about the Chuck Norris fact "There is no theory of evolution; just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live"):

    Everyone has right to believe whatever they want. I don't mind if someone is Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or Atheist as long as they don't try convert me to their believes.

    Only religious movements which you should dislike are those which try to forcefully convert you, scam your money, sacrifice you to their gods or kill you in a holy war.

    Mr. Norris is a devout Christian and while you may either like or dislike his personal believes, it doesn't change his quality as an actor. Hollywood is filled with all kinds of religious people and some of them even believe that aliens came to Earth in DC-8.
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Olaus Petrus wrote: »
    Mr. Norris is a devout Christian and while you may either like or dislike his personal believes, it doesn't change his quality as an actor. Hollywood is filled with all kinds of religious people and some of them even believe that aliens came to Earth in DC-8.

    I don't know... is Scientology a religion? I mean, really?
  • coolsomecoolsome
    edited April 2010
    Andrew Ryan wrote: »
    I don't know... is Scientology a religion? I mean, really?

    If you wana avoid a lawsuit then yes
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Sailorcuteness wrote: »
    If you wana avoid a lawsuit then yes

    Lawsuit... or lolsuit? Either way, seeing as how my lawyer has spliced himself into a posthuman monster, I suppose I will stay silent on the subject. I've already made an enemy of anyone remotely positive about Apple on this forum. I don't think I'll go for the Scientologists. I mean, they'd have trouble fair gaming me underwater, but still...
  • FealiksFealiks
    edited April 2010
    Olaus Petrus wrote: »
    I wonder why people bother to create these scam news about someone's death. Death isn't really that good topic to joke about (but naturally if the joke is good enough, then you can joke about anything, but these joke news aren't even funny).



    Everyone has right to believe whatever they want. I don't mind if someone is Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or Atheist as long as they don't try convert me to their believes.

    Only religious movements which you should dislike are those which try to forcefully convert you, scam your money, sacrifice you to their gods or kill you in a holy war.

    Mr. Norris is a devout Christian and while you may either like or dislike his personal believes, it doesn't change his quality as an actor. Hollywood is filled with all kinds of religious people and some of them even believe that aliens came to Earth in DC-8.

    I wasn't saying I think less of him because of his religion
  • Secret FawfulSecret Fawful
    edited April 2010
    Sailorcuteness wrote: »
    If you wana avoid a lawsuit then yes

    Cult. Cult. Cult.

    Any lawyers come knocking at my door they can bite my big bigoted buttocks.
  • FealiksFealiks
    edited April 2010
    Secret Fawful wrote: »
    Cult. Cult. Cult.

    Any lawyers come knocking at my door they can bite my big bigoted buttocks.

    It's difficult to divide religions and cults in my opinion.


    Here is the definition of a cult according to the Cult Information Centre:

    Has all the following characteristics:

    • Uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain members

    • Forms an elitist society

    • Founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, charismatic and unaccountable

    • Believe 'ends justifies means' in raising funds and recruitment

    • Its wealth does not benefit its members or society

    By this definition, I would say that a lot of religions could be considered as cults.
  • AvistewAvistew
    edited April 2010
    Well, there is a saying that goes "religions are cults that have succeeded".
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Fealiks wrote: »
    It's difficult to divide religions and cults in my opinion.


    Here is the definition of a cult according to the Cult Information Centre:

    Has all the following characteristics:

    • Uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain members

    • Forms an elitist society

    • Founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, charismatic and unaccountable

    • Believe 'ends justifies means' in raising funds and recruitment

    • Its wealth does not benefit its members or society

    By this definition, I would say that a lot of religions could be considered as cults.

    Sounds like Scientology to me...
    Avistew wrote: »
    Well, there is a saying that goes "religions are cults that have succeeded".

    Very true. Who said it?
  • AvistewAvistew
    edited April 2010
    Andrew Ryan wrote: »
    Very true. Who said it?

    I don't know. It's a saying, lots of people must have said it.
    I googled it and it seemed Joseph Ernest Renan said it first in the 19th Century.
  • EverlastEverlast
    edited April 2010
    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HE IS BACK THE MAN!!! AND HE COMEBACK GREATER THAN EVER!!!!!! COMPLETE ZMGAWESOMENESS!!!!! He is better than ever see the pic!

    chuck_norris.jpg
  • Olaus PetrusOlaus Petrus
    edited April 2010
    Andrew Ryan wrote: »
    I don't know... is Scientology a religion? I mean, really?

    Apparently they are a religion at least in some parts of the world. My country thinks that they're not real religion and hasn't allowed them to register as religious community, but they are free to practise whatever they want as private persons. Personally I just follow the official state policy and if the state says that they're not a religion then I belive the state. But earlier I was talking about Hollywood and there they are recognised religious community.
    Fealiks wrote: »
    I wasn't saying I think less of him because of his religion

    Then I misunderstood. I'm sorry.
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Olaus Petrus wrote: »
    Apparently they are a religion at least in some parts of the world. My country thinks that they're not real religion and hasn't allowed them to register as religious community, but they are free to practise whatever they want as private persons. Personally I just follow the official state policy and if the state says that they're not a religion then I belive the state. But earlier I was talking about Hollywood and there they are recognised religious community.

    ...Germany?
  • monkey_05_06monkey_05_06
    edited April 2010
    Micheal..you really had to go and get my hopes up with this one. I mean, seriously, you know how much I despise and loathe this self-proclaimed "Texas Ranger", and avidly await with every waking moment the day that this post will be a reality. I hated you just a bit when I saw this was April Fool's. :mad:
  • FealiksFealiks
    edited April 2010
    In my opinion, it doesn't matter if they're a religion, a cult, a club or what, they're poisonous and shouldn't be given any credence. Just because an entity is considered a religion doesn't mean we should suspend reason and give it loads of undue respect. That's something most societies tend to do quite a lot. If you want to suppress women and homosexuals then you're obviously evil... unless you're doing it for religious reasons, of course. We should totally respect that because like... y'know... their religion is way old.

    :rolleyes:
  • Olaus PetrusOlaus Petrus
    edited April 2010
    Andrew Ryan wrote: »
    ...Germany?

    Nope. But right continent. Large number of European countries consider that Scientology is not a real religion. Some consider that it's a scam or a cult or both.
  • Comrade PantsComrade Pants
    edited April 2010
    Olaus Petrus wrote: »
    Nope. But right continent. Large number of European countries consider that Scientology is not a real religion. Some consider that it's a scam or a cult or both.

    Out of character for a moment, this is one of the many reasons why I love Europe. You people, seemingly (my observation may be skewed, seeing as I've never been there) don't tolerate nonsense like that. Tell me, are your governments as beholden to corporate interests as the United States government is? I mean, some of the larger companies have our government swinging between their knees.
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