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Joke

MaxwawerMaxwawer
edited April 2007 in General Chat
I need a short story joke for my english class. It doesn't have to be original I just need to tell it to everybody. Unfortunately I don't tell jokes so I am dry on ideas. If anybody can think of anything please help me.

Comments

  • ShaggEShaggE
    edited February 2007
    The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.

    The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    Also: The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
  • MaxwawerMaxwawer
    edited February 2007
    I've heard of the second one before but they're both awesome jokes thanks! !
  • JakeJake Telltale Alumni
    edited February 2007
    This reminds me of a droll story...
  • MaratanosMaratanos
    edited February 2007
    So BEEEP and BEEP were BEEP BEEP BEEP!

    :D

    That scene in episode 4 reminds me of some of the things the soda poppers said in episode 2.
  • abdallahabdallah
    edited February 2007
    Allright. So, two men walk into a bar. Youd have thought one of them would have seen it.
  • MelMel
    edited February 2007
    You could use this. :D
  • IronCladChickenIronCladChicken
    edited February 2007
    If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
    him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
    thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

    One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
    to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
    burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried
    and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good
    joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting
    pretty late.

    Because Jack Handy makes me laugh for some reason
    & because kids annoy me - they spend all day every day running around, shouting and demanding things - & still I'm not allowed to punch them :mad:
  • DerwinDerwin
    edited February 2007
    Mel wrote: »
    You could use this. :D

    That is classic :D

    Does it have to be just any short joke, or should it have a theme?
  • umaikiumaiki
    edited March 2007
    IronCladChicken wrote: »
    I was going
    to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
    burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried
    and cried,

    You, sir, are a GENIUS! :P
  • KingsleyKingsley
    edited March 2007
    Jake wrote: »
    This reminds me of a droll story...

    I get it now!
  • IronCladChickenIronCladChicken
    edited March 2007
    umaiki wrote: »
    You, sir, are a GENIUS! :P

    Me steal good
  • Zachspyfox033Zachspyfox033
    edited April 2007
    badboy wrote: »
    there was a cuba and a american and a china preson there in a curis and the american found a lamp and said im going to share it with my friends so the amrican said i wish i had my own privet jet the chiness said i wish i had my own privet island and the cuban said awawa im all alone I WISH MY FRIENDS WHERE BACK HERE!!!!!

    I don't get it. What does this joke mean?
  • LuigiHannLuigiHann
    edited April 2007
    That joke would be funnier if it were readable... Here's a similar joke:

    One day three young ladies who had been shipwrecked on a desert island were walking along the beach and discovered a magic lamp. They rubbed and rubbed, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
    The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
    The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
    POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
    Then, the redhead says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
    POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
    The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
    The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
    The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
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