One time when I was at my grandma's house for a sleep over, I couldn't sleep because my tummy hurt soooooo bad. I got out of bed and barfed all over the floor. But then I ran into the bathroom and barfed agean. Also, I had diareau, as I was bent over the toilt I pooped in my pants.
Alright, Me and my ex had just broken up, so I decided to celebrate (yes celebrate, if you met her you'd understand) by staying drunk all weekend, so I was drunk, and I went out with my buddies to hang out at a friends house, we were sitting in the basement and my buddy Matt punched me in the balls, now I was still drunk, so I didn't feel to much pain, but as I slumped over to the floor some body put there hand on my back and set "How ya feeling, man?" to wich I responded "I peed alittle" I had wet my pants
I do not really have a wetting of the pants story, I'm sure when I was a wee lad I did it, I think everyone did when they were young at some point or another.
I have an embarassing, stupid, and really not that funny of a barf story. I was nineteen, young and stupid, a huge group of my friends were all getting together to go out to some clubs and since a few of us were underage everyone pitched in and we all bought some alcohol before hand. Now, I should say that at this point we all drank on a pretty regular basis, normally just sitting around watching movies and playing video games. Tonight was one of those "if you are single, it's search and destroy" kind of nights, and a little alcohol tends to make that easier. Sadly, I had a lot more than a little, in fact I polished off the better of two bottles of vodka before we left.
We get to the club which was about an hour away, we get in there, I sneak a few sips of my buddies drinks, fun times, dancing, flirting, just having a blast. Suddenly everything hits me like a brick wall and I start heading for the door as I needed fresh air like there was no tomorrow. I had my hand stamped with one of those "I'm not 21" stamps and the bouncer noticed this right away so he stopped me as I was obviously wasted. I could not explain anything in my state to him and since he would not let me leave, I ended up puking all over him. We're talking projectile vomit here. Nasty, I know.
I spent the rest of the night in the back seat of my friends car, with the door open, freezing and fading in and out of conciousness.
I have since stopped drinking, I will have a martini or such with a nice dinner but that is all.
One time in pre school I had to pee, but the teacher told me to whait, but I had to go so badly that I wet my pants.
Oh , that is nothing.
In first grade I HAD TO POO , and asked my teacher if she had any toilet paper , and oh , good there was some left. (otherwise i whoud have used a notebook)
But in the bathroom while doing my job i realised one of the pipes was broken
so the flor was wet and then i sliped , my new pants are wet and ....
Oh my hands got tired of writing.
Maybe i'll finish some other time.
I once was watching a magic trick in the middle of a mall when I was little, and it was so exciting I didn't want to say "Um sorry, I need to go to the bathroom, can you wait to finish the trick?"
So, I ended up wetting my pants and leaving a nice wet puddle in front of the magic shop. I remember wishing that I had a drink I could drop there to pretend that is what made the puddle. Also, I remember that I was surprised at how water resistant corduroys are.
I've got an interesting barf story. One day I got sick in the bus on my way to amsterdam. I managed to hold it until I was at the station and do it in a garbage bin, but I got enough on my coat that I smelled real bad. Then I had to go take the subway...
Now I drew plenty of stares but that wasn't the most embarrassing part of it. It just so happened that while on the subway I was standing within a few feet of a seeing eye dog in training. Following his training well, the dog just sat there staunchly ignoring me. That inspired my deep respect -and was the most guilt-inducing part of the day.
Comments
You've never barfed?
Well...i've not got a funny story about barfing, normally when I barf its particularly unfunny for me.
And I refuse to look at your other thread (as my human vomit phobia rears its head). That one needs a warning label.
Oh man, I agree.
I have an embarassing, stupid, and really not that funny of a barf story. I was nineteen, young and stupid, a huge group of my friends were all getting together to go out to some clubs and since a few of us were underage everyone pitched in and we all bought some alcohol before hand. Now, I should say that at this point we all drank on a pretty regular basis, normally just sitting around watching movies and playing video games. Tonight was one of those "if you are single, it's search and destroy" kind of nights, and a little alcohol tends to make that easier. Sadly, I had a lot more than a little, in fact I polished off the better of two bottles of vodka before we left.
We get to the club which was about an hour away, we get in there, I sneak a few sips of my buddies drinks, fun times, dancing, flirting, just having a blast. Suddenly everything hits me like a brick wall and I start heading for the door as I needed fresh air like there was no tomorrow. I had my hand stamped with one of those "I'm not 21" stamps and the bouncer noticed this right away so he stopped me as I was obviously wasted. I could not explain anything in my state to him and since he would not let me leave, I ended up puking all over him. We're talking projectile vomit here. Nasty, I know.
I spent the rest of the night in the back seat of my friends car, with the door open, freezing and fading in and out of conciousness.
I have since stopped drinking, I will have a martini or such with a nice dinner but that is all.
Oh , that is nothing.
In first grade I HAD TO POO , and asked my teacher if she had any toilet paper , and oh , good there was some left. (otherwise i whoud have used a notebook)
But in the bathroom while doing my job i realised one of the pipes was broken
so the flor was wet and then i sliped , my new pants are wet and ....
Oh my hands got tired of writing.
Maybe i'll finish some other time.
So, I ended up wetting my pants and leaving a nice wet puddle in front of the magic shop. I remember wishing that I had a drink I could drop there to pretend that is what made the puddle. Also, I remember that I was surprised at how water resistant corduroys are.
Now I drew plenty of stares but that wasn't the most embarrassing part of it. It just so happened that while on the subway I was standing within a few feet of a seeing eye dog in training. Following his training well, the dog just sat there staunchly ignoring me. That inspired my deep respect -and was the most guilt-inducing part of the day.
That's an "I told you!" moment if I've ever heard one.