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in a bit of a bind...

dumpling321dumpling321
edited September 2011 in General Chat
so yesterday at college one of my fellow classmates, (a girl) walks up to me and says "Hey! I know a girl who would be perfect for you!" and proceeded to tell me about the girl... So I'm like "uhhhhhhh kay, connect us via facebook". so later that day I get a friend request from this 34 year old woman (I'm 24, and look more like I'm 19-20) who proceeds to spend the rest of the evening talking to me, liking my posts, and commenting on my posts...

can anyone give me any advice about how to get out of this awkward situation without hurting anyones feelings? I'm actually inclined to believe that the girl from my class was just connecting us to be friends because she saw two studious people who might get along as friends, but I also can't get past the fact that usually when a girl connects you to a friend, it's meant to be romantic... It's a close-knit college program so I definatly don't want to offend the girl in my class as I'll continue to have classes with her over the next 1-2 years...

personally I was considering acting like a friend and feeling out wether or not she simply wants to be friends... but at the same time I don't want to lead anyone on...

Comments

  • DAISHIDAISHI
    edited September 2011
    The simplest thing is to kill your emotions about it.

    Given that not everyone likes doing that, if that person is 34 they probably know better than you that most things are just friendships.
  • MusicallyInspiredMusicallyInspired
    edited September 2011
    On the other hand, if they're 34 and looking for an actual relationship with a 24 year old who looks like a 19 year old, well, they may not know better.

    I don't envy you. I'd hate to be in that situation.
  • JohroJohro
    edited September 2011
    been there. What worked best for me was to just be a friend... acting insanely ignorant to any advances or comments. Pigeon hole them as a friend....hey, works for girls right?
  • DAISHIDAISHI
    edited September 2011
    I actually don't see much of an awkward situation. There's no obligation from a Facebook connection.
  • ScnewScnew
    edited September 2011
    There are worse things in this world than hooking up with a woman in her 30s.
  • JohroJohro
    edited September 2011
    Scnew wrote: »
    There are worse things in this world than hooking up with a woman in her 30s.

    Yes, but it doesn't seem to float his boat.
  • AlcoremortisAlcoremortis
    edited September 2011
    Johro wrote: »
    been there. What worked best for me was to just be a friend... acting insanely ignorant to any advances or comments. Pigeon hole them as a friend....hey, works for girls right?

    It does, it does. Though, I will warn you that the being oblivious thing is a bit of a hard act to keep up. You need to be very careful and scan everything you type to make sure that there's nothing that could possibly be construed as romantic. Things get awkward fast that way.

    Also, dumpling, are you sure that the "girl" is thirty-four? I happen to have a few friends who are about my age (21) who put a false age on their facebook so they don't get bugged by people who search facebook by age. Like, I have one friend who's facebook age is ninety-nine but she's really twenty.
  • SilverwolfpetSilverwolfpet
    edited September 2011
    What, Sister Agnes wasn't good enough for you? = ) ) ) ) ) )

    I'm sorry, but I find this funny.
    Okay okay, advice, let's see...

    Ah, simple!

    Ask her for advice regarding an imaginary possible girlfriend.

    Tell her that you saw a girl that you like and, since she's been through life blabla you're not old you're just experienced, ask her to help you out in the invented situation.

    She will help you, you will tell her later that the girl already had a boyfriend, problem solved since she will understand clearly that your intentions are strictly friendship-ioshi-nal...ish.

    Or just ignore the entire situation. You're not obligated to do anything. Facebook seems so important to people when, really, it's not.
  • dumpling321dumpling321
    edited September 2011
    Alcoremortis wrote: »
    It does, it does. Though, I will warn you that the being oblivious thing is a bit of a hard act to keep up. You need to be very careful and scan everything you type to make sure that there's nothing that could possibly be construed as romantic. Things get awkward fast that way.

    Also, dumpling, are you sure that the "girl" is thirty-four? I happen to have a few friends who are about my age (21) who put a false age on their facebook so they don't get bugged by people who search facebook by age. Like, I have one friend who's facebook age is ninety-nine but she's really twenty.

    she actually looks 34 so I'm pretty sure she is xD

    Silverwolfpet wrote: »
    What, Sister Agnes wasn't good enough for you? = ) ) ) ) ) )

    hehe I should totally put up "In a relationship with sister agnes" LOLOL!!
  • LuigiHannLuigiHann
    edited September 2011
    I don't think it'd be too rude to quietly ask your classmate what she had in mind when she connected the two of you. If she wasn't trying to hook you up, she'd probably laugh off the suggestion, and even if that was her goal, I don't think she (the classmate) would be too offended if you say the 34-year-old isn't your type. 10 years is a wiiiide age gap to a 24-year-old, and I can't picture anybody being too hurt by that assertion.
  • DAISHIDAISHI
    edited September 2011
    Don't overthink it.
  • IrishmileIrishmile
    edited September 2011
    I suggest brutal honesty... tell them if they are looking for a friend cool... but you are not comfortable dating people who are not your own age.
  • skitty85skitty85
    edited September 2011
    dumpling321 wrote: »
    she actually looks 34 so I'm pretty sure she is xD




    hehe I should totally put up "In a relationship with sister agnes" LOLOL!!

    Hey dumpling321, I sent you a friendship request on facebook from my "Sista Agnes" account! ;) (I´m only two years older, but already married, so don´t worry) xD
  • der_ketzerder_ketzer
    edited September 2011
    Random friend invite sent to Sista Agnes.
  • dumpling321dumpling321
    edited September 2011
    skitty85 wrote: »
    Hey dumpling321, I sent you a friendship request on facebook from my "Sista Agnes" account! ;) (I´m only two years older, but already married, so don´t worry) xD

    Thanks! It'll be funny to anyone who knows about ask a monkeyologist lolol...
    DAISHI wrote: »
    The simplest thing is to kill your emotions about it.

    Given that not everyone likes doing that, if that person is 34 they probably know better than you that most things are just friendships.

    I did what you said, killed my emotions, and actually started hanging on facebook again, she hasn't said a word to me since (for like 2-3 days), and I've actually enjoyed her status updates, so I think this'll work out nicely as a friendship... I'll just avoid doing anything that could be seen as me wanting a relationship, and I think it'll all be fine =D I feel good about this =)
  • DAISHIDAISHI
    edited September 2011
    Awesome. The DAISHI method is vindicated and, as always, proven right.
  • EverlastEverlast
    edited September 2011
    This thread is dedicated in memory of Sister Agnes:

    sr_agnes_theresa_mc_lane400.jpg

    Now Dumplings321 best friend!
  • Chyron8472Chyron8472
    edited September 2011
    Why not this Sister Agnes?

    ehVRC.jpg
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