Something I wrote

edited August 2012 in General Chat
I wrote this in a hurry. I would like to hear your thoughts on it. Thank you!

Thousands upon men and women who just recently completed military training stand in parade formation.
Grim faced and stern they stand. People cheer from balconies and throw flowers. Musical bands play proud martial tunes while a fat politician holds a speech.
"These brave men and women have taken the sacred oath to defend..." None of the soldiers listen, they are all in deep thought. Some think of how they were conscripted and how it happened.
Others think of the families they have left behind. How they will never see their children and loved ones again. Others simply pray to whatever gods they worship.
The politician finishes his passionate yet fake speech and the masses of civilians cheer. Not a single soldier bothers to look up.
"And now say goodbye to our troops who will now march down Victory avenue and through the titan gates to the front lines where they will face the hated enemy!"
More cheering and the musical bands work themselves ever harder to blast out their music. Suddenly they all stop. The flag bearer lowers his flag and a horn blower blasts.
"Attention!" Thousands of rifles and boots slam into attention. The heads of soldiers turn right. They roar a battle cry before they look forwards. An officer steps forward.
"Forward! Victory and glory!!!"
As machines every single soldiers starts marching. The ground trembles slightly.
Slowly but surely they march down the avenue with civilians watching. Suddenly, a voice is heard singing the old soldiers song.

"The guard go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah!"
One by one every single soldier joins in.
"We slaughter renmers (placeholder) just for fun, hurrah, hurrah!"
humming
"The guard go marching two by two hurrah, hurrah!"
"We will all be dead before we're through, hurrah, hurrah!"
humming
Now even the officers join and the drum players drum with the singing. In the distance the Titan gate can be seen.
"The guard go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah! HURRAH!!! HURRAH!!!"
"We're of to face our destiny, hurrah, hurrah!"
humming
"The Guard go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah!"
"You'll find there is a million more, hurrah, hurrah!"
The soldiers let lose a mighty cheer but then become quite as the Titan gate looms above them. With an almighty crack it slowly opens. Other guardsmen stationed at the gate stand at attention and salute them. They march for another minute before the first row has left the gates and the city. A blasted landscape lays in front of them. Dead trees and blasted remains of tanks are scattered. They continue marching for ten minutes before they can hear the gates closing, meaning the last have come through. All the spirit that was with them before is gone. Only silence and sorrow remains. A few cry but are quickly silenced by the officers. As they come closer to the front they can hear artillery fire and screaming. A large mound lays ahead.
"HALT" a powerful voice screams. "Fix bayonets! Prepare to meet your maker! CHAAARGEEE!!!"
As one they start running. Some shout war cries, some are silent some simply scream.
The men at the front of the column get closer and closer to the top. The leading officer and flag bearer are the first to reach the top. The officer swings his sword and jumps down. The flag bearer is hit and half his body is gone. Gore covers the man behind him but that does not break his resolve, he takes the flag before it touches the ground and jumps down to follow the officer and show the rest how it's done. In moments thousands have crossed the top and jumped down. In moments thousands have died horrific deaths.
A young woman stops at the top. She is shocked and terrified at what she see's. Hundred of thousands of men and aliens battle to the death. Limbs and blood splatter all over the place.
She is knocked down by soldiers behind her. She tastes blood in her mouth mixed with dirt. Her courage wavers and she is stunned. Then a commissar in his dark trench coat looms over her. His pale and grim face stares at her. A scar covers his right side and he curls his mouth in distaste.
"Are you a coward or a woman of the Guard!?" He grabs her by the collar and hoists her up.
"Get in there and show those alien bastards what we are made of!" He upholsters his pistol and charges.
The woman looks as he disappears in the melee. She thinks of her home and family. She loves them. She would do anything to protect her mother and little brother. The young Guardswoman bends down and takes her rifle.
"For our home and family, hurrah!" She screams with fury and is joined by others besides her. She starts to run.

The camera fans out and switches back to the capital where ten thousand men stand at attention. The fat politician holds his speech again. It is the tenth time today and he is growing tired. He wishes to go home and eat and sleep. He finishes and is met with cheers from the civilians and the grim stares of the military. As they march of he can only think of the sheep at slaughterhouses.
One young boy among the marching soldiers start singing the old hymn.
"The guard go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah!"....
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