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The Walking Dead story.

Arsun97Arsun97
edited January 2013 in The Walking Dead
Hi guys.

I have written a TWD short story, which I'm very eager to continue on, but I haven't got a single feedback yet. So I would appreciate if someone in here took the time and read it and give me some feedback. Would be much appreciated!

http://www.booksie.com/fan_fiction/novel/tewc76/plans-the-walking-dead-fan-made-story

Comments

  • wels0081wels0081
    edited January 2013
    Hey Arsun, what do you plan to do with the story? Do you want to publish it to print or an Ebook? What's the goal?
  • Arsun97Arsun97
    edited January 2013
    wels0081 wrote: »
    Hey Arsun, what do you plan to do with the story? Do you want to publish it to print or an Ebook? What's the goal?

    I just want to write, because I love to make stories.

    I will wait to do something with it, until I know it's "good" or not. But then well see... I'm very eager to continue this story, I got good plans for the future, but there is no point in writing if no one reads it.
  • gimmeseason2gimmeseason2
    edited January 2013
    a couple of grammatical errors, but very nice story overall!
  • Arsun97Arsun97
    edited January 2013
    gimmeseason2 wrote: »
    a couple of grammatical errors, but very nice story overall!

    I'm Norwegian, so that explains that ;)

    But thanks for reading it, and thank you for saying it was good :)
  • BcroftBcroft
    edited January 2013
    in my honest opinion, yea I liked it but thats if this is a rough draft and its obviously just a beginning, If you really want to have a awesome story you gotta polish it up. You have the first few steps done really good, you have the base to work from, one thing is that certain parts were hard to picture but I think you could make it very well done, once some time's been invested into it
  • dubesordubesor
    edited January 2013
    If you enjoy writing then why not do it for yourself? Just for fun? Doesn't need to be "good". All that matters is that you are having fun doing it.

    I've read it - and honestly I don't think you should write it in English. Maybe try writing it in Norwegian first, then get some feedback and translate that into proper English once it's done. Your story is littered with grammatical mistakes. And it is obvious you are working with a very small pool of vocabulary. You are repeating yourself over and over again. Just one example is the constant "John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said...". Personally I wouldn't want to read it.
  • Arsun97Arsun97
    edited January 2013
    dubesor wrote: »
    If you enjoy writing then why not do it for yourself? Just for fun? Doesn't need to be "good". All that matters is that you are having fun doing it.

    I've read it - and honestly I don't think you should write it in English. Maybe try writing it in Norwegian first, then get some feedback and translate that into proper English once it's done. Your story is littered with grammatical mistakes. And it is obvious you are working with a very small pool of vocabulary. You are repeating yourself over and over again. Just one example is the constant "John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said, John said, Ben said...". Personally I wouldn't want to read it.

    Thanks man, appreciate the critics!

    It's my first one in English, and I will improve in the future, I'll promise you that!
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