The Walking Dead Fan Fic: Evil Inside
This is my first time doing a fan-fic so I'm not sure of how good (or bad) it is but if this start does well, I guess I'll continue it :P
It had been a very rainy day. Jolene sat at her cash register, number 13, with her 9-year old daughter Danielle. She'd been working there for three years and, although she was searching for a better job, she still hadn't found one that'd be that much better than this one no matter how hard she tried.
"You think it'll stop today? You know, the rain", the little girl asked.
"I hope so, there'll be a lot of traffic if it keeps raining like this." her mother answered, calmly. She noticed her daughter seemed a bit dissappointed with her answer and, with a warm smile, changed it: "Actually, I'm sure it's gonna stop pretty soon. There can't be that much water in the clouds"
"Hey, Jolene.". Gary came up to where the two were sitting. He had been hired at the store a couple months beforehand and acted like a tough guy, always wearing his cap and sunglasses.
"Hey, Gary, what's up?"
"A guy just threw up in aisle three." he responded "Drew's cleaning it up right now."
Danielle looked to side, trying not to show her being disgusted at what the man was talking about.
"Is the guy alright?" asked Jolene, in a caring tone.
"I dunno. Looked like there was a bit of blood mixed in with-" the man noticed how the 9 year old girl seemed to be looking a bit sick "Well, I'm sure it isn't anything."
"Gary! Come over here and lend me hand?" Drew, another employee at the Save-Lots called out.
"Gotta go. Talk to you all later."
"Jolene." a voice called out. It was a young girl in her 20's who had just started working there not too long ago called Beatrice. "You know where the baby diapers are? She's kinda lost (she pointed at a woman with a baby) and well, *chuckle* I guess I kind of am too."
"I reckon they're in aisle five. Right over there." spoke Jolene in a low voice.
"Thanks." Beatrice said as she started walking away with the mother.
"Is it always this boring in here, mom?" holding her stuffed rabbit.
"Not really. It seems kinda quiet compared to yesterday."
"How much time till your shift's over?" asked the girl, curious as to when she could go home.
Jolene checks her watch: "Only one more hou-"
"Aaaaaaahhh!!!!!" a scream rang out.
THE WALKING DEAD: EVIL INSIDE
1 DAY IN
SAVE-LOTS STORE, 6:43 PM
1 DAY IN
SAVE-LOTS STORE, 6:43 PM
It had been a very rainy day. Jolene sat at her cash register, number 13, with her 9-year old daughter Danielle. She'd been working there for three years and, although she was searching for a better job, she still hadn't found one that'd be that much better than this one no matter how hard she tried.
"You think it'll stop today? You know, the rain", the little girl asked.
| I hope so. |
| Doesn't seem like it. |
| I dunno. |
| ... |
| Doesn't seem like it. |
| I dunno. |
| ... |
"I hope so, there'll be a lot of traffic if it keeps raining like this." her mother answered, calmly. She noticed her daughter seemed a bit dissappointed with her answer and, with a warm smile, changed it: "Actually, I'm sure it's gonna stop pretty soon. There can't be that much water in the clouds"
"Hey, Jolene.". Gary came up to where the two were sitting. He had been hired at the store a couple months beforehand and acted like a tough guy, always wearing his cap and sunglasses.
"Hey, Gary, what's up?"
"A guy just threw up in aisle three." he responded "Drew's cleaning it up right now."
Danielle looked to side, trying not to show her being disgusted at what the man was talking about.
| Shouldn't you be helping him? |
| Is the guy alright? |
| Ugh, that doesn't sound too good. |
| ... |
| Is the guy alright? |
| Ugh, that doesn't sound too good. |
| ... |
"Is the guy alright?" asked Jolene, in a caring tone.
"I dunno. Looked like there was a bit of blood mixed in with-" the man noticed how the 9 year old girl seemed to be looking a bit sick "Well, I'm sure it isn't anything."
"Gary! Come over here and lend me hand?" Drew, another employee at the Save-Lots called out.
"Gotta go. Talk to you all later."
"Jolene." a voice called out. It was a young girl in her 20's who had just started working there not too long ago called Beatrice. "You know where the baby diapers are? She's kinda lost (she pointed at a woman with a baby) and well, *chuckle* I guess I kind of am too."
"I reckon they're in aisle five. Right over there." spoke Jolene in a low voice.
"Thanks." Beatrice said as she started walking away with the mother.
"Is it always this boring in here, mom?" holding her stuffed rabbit.
| Not really. |
| Bored already? |
| Come on, this is fun! |
| ... |
| Bored already? |
| Come on, this is fun! |
| ... |
"Not really. It seems kinda quiet compared to yesterday."
"How much time till your shift's over?" asked the girl, curious as to when she could go home.
Jolene checks her watch: "Only one more hou-"
"Aaaaaaahhh!!!!!" a scream rang out.
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Comments
Yeah, I was inspired by it
The Story's Good. But (like all fanfiction) it could be improved.
it's hardly even started.
bumpity bump bump
And i want more ''I don't like no hash'' guy!
"Mom, what's happening?" her daughter was shaking and hugging her stuffed rabbit tightly.
| Sweetie, stay here. |
| I'm gonna check it out. |
| ... |
"Sweetie, stay here. I'm gon-"
"Get the fuck off!"
Jolene recognized where the screams where coming from: aisle three. She ran there as quick as she could and was shocked by what she saw: a man whose skin seemed to be almost grey and with blood all over his mouth trying to bite Drew.
Next to him stood Gary who, with a bat in his hands hit the attacker on the head, spilling his blood onto the shelves. Luckily, the man's strength was enough to take him out.
"Oh my fucking-" Drew started his sentence but was cut off by the vomit that quickly filled his mouth.
Jolene could not believe her eyes. Bits of brain matter were on the ground along with a pool of blood.
| You.. you killed him. |
| What happened? |
| ... |
"Oh my God..."
"He...he...I had no choice." Gary tried to explain himself.
"Is he... is he dead?"
Gary hesitantly sat down next to the man and pu two fingers on the side of his neck to check if he was still alive. He shook his head.
Beatrice, two other Save-Lots workers, Linda and Paul, and the woman with her baby arrive at the scene. The latter blocked her baby's sight as soon as she noticed the bloodied corpse.
"What the-?! What HAPPENED?!" was Beatrice's response.
"Someone call 911!" the woman screamed out.
| Everyone calm down... |
| (Call 911) |
| ... |
"Everyone, let's just all calm down." Jolene suggested "We all just need to-"
"Mom?" Danielle stood behind her "What happ- Aaaahhh!!"
"Dani, I need you to look away, please." Jolene told her while attempting not to let her see the gore that was in aisle 3 "Go back to the cash registrer and-"
Shots rang out from outside the store along with many screams.
Certainly better than my one. (Not saying much in that regard)
I wasn't so sure at first but i like it now.
A man with with jaw and his tongue sticking out of his mouth... A woman with her scalp partly torn off... A little girl with no legs...
"fuck!" Gary let out
They slowly approached the group when... BANG! The man's head practically exploded. BANG! The woman received the same treatment. Behind the undead girl was the Save-Lots manager, Paul. He aimed at the crawling girl and pulled the trigger of the shotgun he was holding while looking away. BANG!
"Paul, what the-" Linda started to say
"We gotta get the fuck outta here right now!" he responded, cutting off the woman " More of these fuckers are getting in here!" More and more of them entered through the entrance.
| Danielle, stay close. |
| We gotta get out! |
| ... |
"What now?" Gary demanded to know
"Follow me, everyone!" Paul ran through e back of the store with the 4 other employees and the little girl who was on the verge of crying.
A walker crawling and with a knife through its eye got a hold of Jolene's ankle, and made her fall to the ground.
[E]
Beatrice noticed how the woman with the baby was staying behind. She grabbed her arm and told her to "move it".
They all got into the cars that were in the store's parking lots. Paul, Drew, Gary and Linda into Gary's truck. Beatrice and the woman and child she had just saved got into the latter's car. Jolene and Danielle got into their car.
The truck exited the parking with the cars following it.
In Jolene's car, Danielle started sobbing.
| Danielle... |
| It's gonna be alright, sweetie. |
| ... |
"Mom... That man... He... He... Shot those people..."
"They weren't normal, honey. They weren't... people."
"Ok... What do we do now?" Asked the girl, wipping some of her tears away with her sleeves
"We do what Paul says. He knows what to do in this kinda situation."
Jolene looked one more at the girl, sad and shaking.
"Don't worry, Dani. Everything's gonna be okay." She said with a comforting smile on her face.
I'm surprised Beatrice didn't start yelling "GO AWWWAAAAY! AHHHHHHH! GET AWWAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Lol.
PAUL'S CAMP, 08:12 AM[/CENTER]
Jolene sits on a chair in the camp her and her fellow survivors had built. There now around 20 people in her group. There were around 12 tents and 5 cars in the space they were living. Her and Danielle slept on one of he tents, each with their own sleeping bag. Her daughter was playing beside her with her stuffed bunny as always, now that it was her only toy. Besides her, a baby and another girl whom she didn't really like, there weren't any other kids in the group.
(o) Talk to Danielle
"Hey, sweetie." Said Jolene.
"Hi, mom." Responded Danielle in a sad and quiet tone.
| How are you? |
| So, these weeks haven't been so good.
| ... |
"It's just that..." Danielle started but couldn't finish her sentence. "It's nothing, mom."
The woman, noticing how her daughter didn't want to talk about what was on her mind, ended the conversation: "Ok, hun"
(o) Look at tents
"We're lucky to have found this many." Jolene talked to herself
"You're right about that!" A voice came from behind her
"Beatrice!"
The other employee from the Save-Lots responded with a playful smile: "Who else did you think it was?"
Jolene smiled back. "It's suprising how many supplies we've found."
"Well, considering that we haven't seen any other survivors besides the ones here, it doesn't seem like there's that many people going after them." Beatrice said.
| I guess |
| There has to be more people out there. |
| ... |
"Don't say that." Jolene talked "We have to hope that there's someone working on ending this... this madness."
Beatrice looked to the side: "You're right." As she walked away.
(o) Talk to Gary
Gary was inspecting the guns and he ammo.
"Hey, Garry." Jolene saluted the man.
"Heya." He responded without looking away from the weapons.
"What's up?"
"Not much. Oh! Paul asked you to go talk to him ASAP."
"What's it about?"
"I dunno." he shrugged his shoulders
"Ok, I'll go meet him then."
"Yeah, you do that."
Jolene walked into the RV they had recently gotten and where Paul was now living in. He was sitting down and drinking some Parsecs' Whiskey.
"I'm glad you could come." he said.
"What's this about, Paul?" Jolene asked, curious.
"You remember last time Bonnie and Drew went out to get supplies?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"They found a place. A farm. They told me about it but I haven't thought up of what to do yet. What do you think?"
| We could negotiate. |
| We shouldn't get involved. |
| ... |
"Yeah." he took a gulp from the bottle "They seem to be pretty fortified. They even had electric fences. They said they saw 4 people there but think there might be more."
There was awkward silence.
"Well... it's your choice. You're the leader after all."
"Yeah." he responded and took another gulp.
Yet another pause.
"Anyway, see ya later." She said as she left the vehicle.
It was a small reference to the theory some have that she was one of the bandits.
Well I would like to see this go on, very well written, keep going if you can.
Oh, I'm not stopping so soon. Too bad Cany ended his fic
Come here if you want to try the new WD forum I made!
http://telltaletwdforum.freeforums.net/
I am having thoughts of ending mine, because it cut all the chapters in half which is crap, and I already miss my avatar pic, it was unique you know?
Bio, you can still use your picture.
Don't give up bio, we already lost Cany's fic
I
Well more people for me, not really a consolation prize but still something, well I guess I will try to edit stuff out and upload some stuff, I will give it a shot.