My fanfiction.
None of twd characters have been introduced yet, but they shall be....just let me know what you think and if I should continue. Sorry for any grammar Issues, English isn't my native language. Just let me know if I. Should continue and what you think.
. I pause, and look into the mirror. This is the first time I've seen myself in months. I appear different, older somehow.my icy blue eyes are hardened, and not so child like anymore, i wouldn't fuck with myself. I suppose nows just a good as time as any to clean my sweaty and dirt covers hair and face. I check the one stall In the room, and nothing but a rotting corpse of a man sits on the toilet, a bullet in his brain. I find it a little weird that he decided to kill himself on the shitter, but sad just the same. The rest of the room is safe, we'll a safe as you can get, but it smells something awful. I walk back over to the mirror. I pull out a pair of scissors, wash cloth, comb, and what's left of my water.
Closer inspection of myself makes me realize how emaciated, I appear. I remember when I used to diet to attemp to look like I do now, I was dumb. I would kill for a mcdonalds burger, right now, First I wash my face scrubbing until, my skin is a bright pink color. I pull my hair out of its ratty uncombed pony, and dump the remaining water onto it. I pick it with the comb to no avail, eventualy it's combed enough to cut it. I cut my hair into a poorly done fringe, leaving most of the length. I haven't had a real hair cut scene 4th grade, now I'm 14, my hair is the only tie to normality I have. My hair is dark brow and clashes with my dull blue eyes. My hair is now separated into three sections and I braid it tightly, my fringe hanging loose. You forget what having clean hair feels like, you take it for granted. Never realy miss anything so simple until it's gone.
Now the struggle comes, where do I sleep tonight, the sun is already low into the sky. I decide to sleep in the bathroom for the night, it's better than the bitter outside. Only at night do you realize how much you miss normal human interaction. I haven't talked to someone who didn't want to kill, rape or eat me in over a year. I miss my friends and family, I bet their dead now just like everybody else.
Comments
awesome.
Thanks!
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Not bad, thanks for sharing with us.
The grammar needs some work, but it's nothing that can't be fixed with a bit of proofreading.
Some constructive criticism to think about...
-You don't provide much information as to who this poor girl is. Where is she from? What was her life like before? Why is she alone? Leaving some info to the imagination is good, but providing more background information can make your characters more relatable and engaging.
-Try not to mention specific real-life brands (i.e. McDonalds). It's a minor gripe, but these don't appear in TWD universe as far as I know.
Overall, it's a good start. I look forward to seeing more.
. If you need editing help, O'd be happy to see what I can do.
Good start, keep going.
Part two will be up soon, I'm just trying to proof read it better than this one...