Thought Processes During Harm's Way (Spoilers)
So I'd be curious as to what people were thinking during this latest episode. Here's what went through my head during the huge parts.
In the beginning of the episode, when we were being transported to Carver's camp, I wanted to just play it cool and try to acclimate to this community. Yes, it was wrong for Carver to kidnap the cabin group. It was also clearly wrong for him to murder Walter. But he did have a reason for both of those actions (he was trying to find his child and avenge the death of one of his men). Again, it was absolutely not RIGHT to do any of those things. But the fact that he had a reason behind his actions and didn't just execute us all on sight showed me that, at the very least, he wasn't a psychopath. So in the beginning I tried to talk Kenny out of fighting and agreed with Reggie not to cause any trouble.
When Sarah was slapped, I despised Carver more but still wasn't ready to actively try escaping or fighting back. Throughout the beginning of this episode, my thought process was really that we've all lost so many people already. If we have to submit to Carver for the time being to stay alive, that's what I'll do.
When Reggie was killed I officially decided that staying in Carver's camp long-term was no longer an option. I decided I would try to stay on Carver's good side, but would actively seek out ways to escape when the time was right.
When Luke abducted me and asked me to help, I agreed to it. I didn't think it was the best plan considering the sorry state Luke was in, but I have faith in him (he's been a good friend to Clem). I figured that trust combined with having someone looking out for us on the outside was worth the risk of stealing a radio.
When I talked to Carver in his office, I agreed with everything he said about weeding out the weak and helping him. I was lying to try to stay on his good side.
When Kenny got beaten, I felt utterly defeated. That's how I felt during most of this episode. We're prisoners, horrible things keep happening to us, and it doesn't seem like it would ever change. I restrained Kenny's girlfriend because I knew attacking Carver wouldn't do anything. The only option was to keep other people from getting hurt. I fully expected Kenny to die at this point, so I actually felt hopeful for the first time all episode when he survived.
When Kenny woke up and we were all discussing our plans, I figured that we shouldn't try to escape. I just didn't feel that the group was up for it and we shouldn't throw away Bonnie's help when half the group was injured, pregnant, or weak. When the topic of leaving Kenny behind came up, I voted to go without him. I know that Clementine loves him, but she also knows he wouldn't want us all to risk our lives for him. When it became obvious that the group wanted was going to bust out that night, I decided to follow them.
When sneaking through the compound to activate the PA system, I was fully hoping for the chance to kill some guards or Tavia. As Clementine, I've had enough of this crap. My Clem at this point shows mercy when she can but is willing to do anything to survive.
After we disabled Carver, I told Luke to just shoot him. It was obvious we couldn't let him leave so I didn't want to waste time. I then stayed behind to see the execution. I mostly did this because I thought I might get the chance to talk Kenny into killing him quickly or letting me do it fast. Of course I wanted revenge, but I still figured Clem would want to at least kill him quick to retain her humanity. I was a little disappointed we didn't get this option. Still though, Clem knows that if you're going to let someone in your group torture someone like this, you need to face those actions yourself.
What struck me the most out of the whole episode was when we were escaping through the zombies. When I was asked to help Sarah, I just felt tired. I know it's not Sarah's fault for being coddled by Carlos, but she's older than me (Clem). I've risked my life time and time again fro the group and am just a child myself. I can't keep risking my life to protect someone who can't take care of themself even though they should be able to. So when Carlos asked me to watch over her, I wasn't in the mood. And that, as a person sitting behind a computer, made me feel awful. I consider myself a good person, so it was awful to realize that if I was in this situation, I would be uneager to help save this other person.
To be sure, if Sarah had simply slipped and I was in in minimal danger, I would help her out. But at that point, after everything we had gone through, I just wanted everyone to fight their hardest. If they couldn't, I was ready to leave them behind. And like I said, that realization really made me think about myself.
When Sarita was bit, I realized right away I had to chop off her arm. She's almost surely going to die, but I had to try everything. I liked her and was tired of losing people.
To sum up, throughout this episode I felt tired, hopeless, but committed to saving as many people as possible, even if at the expense of others. At this point in the series it truly amazes me how when someone dies, I barely feel sad anymore. When Omid died I felt truly crushed and wanted to stop playing. When Alvin, Carlos, and Reggie died, I just felt empty with a twinge of sadness. I just told myself I had to keep going because that's all I could do. In spite of the flaws people have noted in this episode, I think it's amazing a game can make me feel that way.
In the beginning of the episode, when we were being transported to Carver's camp, I wanted to just play it cool and try to acclimate to this community. Yes, it was wrong for Carver to kidnap the cabin group. It was also clearly wrong for him to murder Walter. But he did have a reason for both of those actions (he was trying to find his child and avenge the death of one of his men). Again, it was absolutely not RIGHT to do any of those things. But the fact that he had a reason behind his actions and didn't just execute us all on sight showed me that, at the very least, he wasn't a psychopath. So in the beginning I tried to talk Kenny out of fighting and agreed with Reggie not to cause any trouble.
When Sarah was slapped, I despised Carver more but still wasn't ready to actively try escaping or fighting back. Throughout the beginning of this episode, my thought process was really that we've all lost so many people already. If we have to submit to Carver for the time being to stay alive, that's what I'll do.
When Reggie was killed I officially decided that staying in Carver's camp long-term was no longer an option. I decided I would try to stay on Carver's good side, but would actively seek out ways to escape when the time was right.
When Luke abducted me and asked me to help, I agreed to it. I didn't think it was the best plan considering the sorry state Luke was in, but I have faith in him (he's been a good friend to Clem). I figured that trust combined with having someone looking out for us on the outside was worth the risk of stealing a radio.
When I talked to Carver in his office, I agreed with everything he said about weeding out the weak and helping him. I was lying to try to stay on his good side.
When Kenny got beaten, I felt utterly defeated. That's how I felt during most of this episode. We're prisoners, horrible things keep happening to us, and it doesn't seem like it would ever change. I restrained Kenny's girlfriend because I knew attacking Carver wouldn't do anything. The only option was to keep other people from getting hurt. I fully expected Kenny to die at this point, so I actually felt hopeful for the first time all episode when he survived.
When Kenny woke up and we were all discussing our plans, I figured that we shouldn't try to escape. I just didn't feel that the group was up for it and we shouldn't throw away Bonnie's help when half the group was injured, pregnant, or weak. When the topic of leaving Kenny behind came up, I voted to go without him. I know that Clementine loves him, but she also knows he wouldn't want us all to risk our lives for him. When it became obvious that the group wanted was going to bust out that night, I decided to follow them.
When sneaking through the compound to activate the PA system, I was fully hoping for the chance to kill some guards or Tavia. As Clementine, I've had enough of this crap. My Clem at this point shows mercy when she can but is willing to do anything to survive.
After we disabled Carver, I told Luke to just shoot him. It was obvious we couldn't let him leave so I didn't want to waste time. I then stayed behind to see the execution. I mostly did this because I thought I might get the chance to talk Kenny into killing him quickly or letting me do it fast. Of course I wanted revenge, but I still figured Clem would want to at least kill him quick to retain her humanity. I was a little disappointed we didn't get this option. Still though, Clem knows that if you're going to let someone in your group torture someone like this, you need to face those actions yourself.
What struck me the most out of the whole episode was when we were escaping through the zombies. When I was asked to help Sarah, I just felt tired. I know it's not Sarah's fault for being coddled by Carlos, but she's older than me (Clem). I've risked my life time and time again fro the group and am just a child myself. I can't keep risking my life to protect someone who can't take care of themself even though they should be able to. So when Carlos asked me to watch over her, I wasn't in the mood. And that, as a person sitting behind a computer, made me feel awful. I consider myself a good person, so it was awful to realize that if I was in this situation, I would be uneager to help save this other person.
To be sure, if Sarah had simply slipped and I was in in minimal danger, I would help her out. But at that point, after everything we had gone through, I just wanted everyone to fight their hardest. If they couldn't, I was ready to leave them behind. And like I said, that realization really made me think about myself.
When Sarita was bit, I realized right away I had to chop off her arm. She's almost surely going to die, but I had to try everything. I liked her and was tired of losing people.
To sum up, throughout this episode I felt tired, hopeless, but committed to saving as many people as possible, even if at the expense of others. At this point in the series it truly amazes me how when someone dies, I barely feel sad anymore. When Omid died I felt truly crushed and wanted to stop playing. When Alvin, Carlos, and Reggie died, I just felt empty with a twinge of sadness. I just told myself I had to keep going because that's all I could do. In spite of the flaws people have noted in this episode, I think it's amazing a game can make me feel that way.
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Comments
Clementine was consistently defiant and had escape on her mind from the start. I assumed that she could get away with giving Carver the same cold attitude that served her so well when Carver showed up at the cabin. Suffice to say, I was very wrong.
When Carver forced Carlos to slap Sarah, I stayed silent, think that Clementine took enough of a beating. It still made me feel horrible.
I have terrible motion planning skills, so I felt really bad for Sarah when she didn't know what to do with the berry plants. Clementine tried to help and tried to take the blame in hopes of sparing Sarah a beating.
In Carver's office, Clementine denied hat she was like him. But thinking back to some of her nastier choices, like blackmailing Rebecca and causing Alvin's death, provided some uncomfortable similarities. She was 100% with Luke's plan, but I was nervous as hell during the walkie-talkie heist. Hearing how torn up Kenny is about losing Duck hit very hard.
When Kenny got beaten down, Clem ran to help. it was self-destructive and I wasn't sure if it fit her character, but charging in was the same stupid little thing that I would have probably done (and immediately regret) if I were in that situation. Honestly, I'd rather take a savage beating myself than watch someone I care about take it on my behalf. The whole thing was heartwrenching...now it's personal.
Clementine advocated for Carver to receive a quick death, but stayed nonetheless. I was taken aback by how dead Clementine's expression was, considering that I could barely watch. Was Carver right all along? Maybe Clem is turning into something she hates? Clem's innocence was shattered long before that moment, but it showed just how far she's fallen from being the group's moral compass. I was also disappointed in Kenny. I thought he might have turned over a new leaf, but then he put down Carver is such a savage way that smashing Larry's head in with a salt lick felt goddamn mercy by comparison. Mark my words, that man is traveling a dark path.
Carlos' death was sad and shocking. One second he was there, then bang! Clem tried to shut Sarah up but to no avail. Sarita's arm came off, but I doubt that's gonna do much good.
Christ that was long, sorry to ramble on. Overall, I felt tense and distressed throughout the episode and felt emotionally drained by the end, much like S1E3. It was a great episode and I'm looking forward to what 'amid the ruins' has in store.