Processing Episode 4.
It's three in the morning, I've just finished the episode, so here's my sleepy brain's take on it.
- Luke and his "needs".
I honestly found it hilarious that Luke was stumbling over his words trying to make up an excuse to an 11 year old, when all of their clothes are back on. It's not like she walked in on them half naked or when they were in the act. In fact, I didn't realize this to be the dreaded sex act that everyone was screaming about until Luke started freaking out. (From what I saw, it looked like Jane was just zipping up her boot? I also think her jacket was unzipped? Clementine must have a fantastic 'just had sex' radar.)
I wasn't all that bothered, even though I am convinced that Luke did it just to cockblock me through the fourth wall. I was more confused, because Luke was talking about how he thought she hated him and then started using some big words that I blanked out on. Was that supposed to be a "omgee i really admire u but u hate me woe is me" sort of thing? Conclusion: Luke is a pissbaby who decided to ignore the fact someone he was supposed to be guarding was going into labor just so he could "HAVE A MOMENT". Also, why in the hell does Luke get so upset when he finds out she left? You thought she hated you, she clearly offered you casual weird kinky times, you don't own her??? Pissbaby.
- Kenny (in general).
Conclusion: Kenny is a pissbaby. Either Telltale does not know how to treat children, or Kenny is the biggest pissbaby of all pissbabies. I get it, your weird passive-aggressive relationship with the girl with a nose ring is ruined because she you know, got bit and lay dying in your arms. But mother of god, I opted not to cut off her hand because we both know how that ends. Kenny seems very desperate to find someone to replace that empty place in his heart that 'that shitbird Ben' left behind. Unfortunately for you bud, Clementine is eleven godamn years old so maybe hold off on calling her a murderer for a couple years.
- Avro (my sweet limping Russian man).
I love Avro. I'm willing to forgive the whole Russian mafia thing, but what the hell is up with these accusations of robbery??? I gave back your medical bag you twit! If anything, the only thing you lost was the gun that Jane took from you. Are you really going to steal all our stuff because of a gun? I hope that conversation is bugged, otherwise I am pissed. I thought we had something Avro. All jokes aside, I'm really disappointed. I fell for a Russian babe with a limp and this is what I get in return? Robbed??? (Don't worry, I don't think you're a pissbaby yet. You need to do some serious apologizing though.)
Another thing, if anyone here speaks Russian, do you think you could give a rough translation on what was said?
- Christa and the disappearing baby.
What's all this about "Kenny will know what to do"?? GIRL YOU WERE AROUND A PREGNANT WOMAN FOR OVER A YEAR. SOMETIME DURING THAT THE BABY MUST HAVE POPPED OUT IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. Literally no mention about Christa's baby. Nothing. At this point, I'm assuming they're going to leave Christa to have an off screen death at those woods way back in episode one because the writers are giant PISSBABIES. On the note of off screen deaths...
- Nick and his Ariel syndrome.
Why in the hell did I replay season 2 just so I could go back and steal the damn watch, save Nick, give it to him, only for him to become Sleeping Beauty and sleep his way to his off screen death. I might as well go back and give Walter the revenge he wanted, because at least then I GET TO SEE WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM. HOW DOES SOMEONE DIE IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY BECOME ENTANGLED IN A FENCE??? I WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THE WRITERS KILLED HIM OFF SCREEN!!!!!! THANKS.
- Sarah and the mistreatment of mental illness.
So, I either leave a mentally unstable girl (I'm assuming autism at this point in time, don't correct me) to die, or I slap the shit out of her. Yes, that is what you should do when someone is having an emotional and mental breakdown. Oh yeah, not to mention she was smacked by her now deceased father not a mere 12+ hours ago. It was all totally worth it though, because Sarah then fell victim to the common Ariel syndrome and then died anyways! Also, Clementine is an insensitive prick during Sarah's muted hours. No, "Hey, sorry I hit you while you were having a breakdown"? Ok.
So, in conclusion, everyone has turned into a giant pissbaby except for my two loves, Jane and Arvo. I no longer want to pick Luke or Kenny, I just want them both to shut up and stop being giant pricks! Why couldn't they "have a moment" together instead? Maybe then, they'd be content for an hour or two.
My question for all of you: Which pissbaby are you leaning towards, Kenny or Luke? I vote for the 'trying to stay neutral but instead makes everyone angry with me even though I'm a small child that no one should depend on for large decisions'!!