Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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  • edited July 2009
    *stunned silence*
    Rule 9
  • edited July 2009
    What mad scientist implanted a monkey's brain in your skull?

    Same scientist that removed yours!


    Judging from your face, your mother must have been married to your fathers ass


    Compared to yours, I am better looking and with more class!


    My sword skills will cut you down to size!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    My sword skills will cut you down to size!
    If you ever used them, I'd really pay the price!
    Did you ever win a fight, kid?
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    If you ever used them, I'd really pay the price!
    Did you ever win a fight, kid?


    Yup this one, gramps!
    The scars and trauma i leave on men are beyond comparison!
  • edited July 2009
    Ewww, you've turned yourself into a disease?!


    I've got some deodorant and I'm not afraid to use it on you!
  • edited July 2009
    I've got some deodorant and I'm not afraid to use it on you!
    Too bad you never thought of using it on yourself.
    My parrot is more inventive than you.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Too bad you never thought of using it on yourself.
    My parrot is more inventive than you.


    But at least i am not a bird brain like you.


    Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

    Come a little closer and find out!


    How's it feel to be a walking punchline?
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    Come a little closer and find out!


    How's it feel to be a walking punchline?


    It would have really hurt if your insults were actually good.

    You shall remember this day that you almost beat me, the great Captain Jack Sparrow (in honour to pirates of the carribean)
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    It would have really hurt if your insults were actually good.

    You shall remember this day that you almost beat me, the great Captain Jack Sparrow (in honour to pirates of the carribean)

    You make it sound as though running away is something to be proud of!


    What would you like on your grave?
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    You make it sound as though running away is something to be proud of!


    What would you like on your grave?


    Yer bloody carcass floating on the waves!


    I will carve my initials into your bones!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    Yer bloody carcass floating on the waves!


    I will carve my initials into your bones!

    Are you sure you can spell that?


    If pirates were flowers, you'd be a yellow pansy!
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    Are you sure you can spell that?


    If pirates were flowers, you'd be a yellow pansy!


    But I will make sure you are pushing up daisies.


    You are so lame you need a crutch!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    But I will make sure you are pushing up daisies.


    You are so lame you need a crutch!

    Like the one you're fighting with?


    I've seen wet sponges sharper than your blade!
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    Like the one you're fighting with?


    I've seen wet sponges sharper than your blade!


    Oh so you have been using these wet sponges as a maid!


    The sight of you makes everyone throw up!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    The sight of you makes everyone throw up!

    While you are annoying as unwanted pop-up.

    I've seen boozers putting up better fight then you.
  • edited July 2009
    While you are annoying as unwanted pop-up.

    I've seen boozers putting up better fight then you.

    So I guess you lost that fight, too!


    Your arms are like wet noodles!
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    So I guess you lost that fight, too!


    Your arms are like wet noodles!

    Yours are like soggy poodles.
    Prepare to be beaten!
  • edited July 2009
    thatdude98 wrote: »
    Yours are like soggy poodles.
    Prepare to be beaten!

    I thought we were going to fight, not play chess!


    You may as well give up.
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    I thought we were going to fight, not play chess!
    You may as well give up.

    Why would I? You're going down!
    Do you take pride in your anthropoid heritage?
  • edited July 2009
    bigdondoo wrote: »
    Why would I? You're going down!
    Do you take pride in your anthropoid heritage?

    I'd ask you the same, but you still haven't evolved out of it!


    Your face could turn Medusa to stone!
  • edited July 2009
    EpicSpoon wrote: »
    I'd ask you the same, but you still haven't evolved out of it!


    Your face could turn Medusa to stone!


    And yours could wake up Davey Jones!
    Your battlecries are like squeaks of a mouse!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    And yours could wake up Davey Jones!
    Your battlecries are like squeaks of a mouse!

    Well yours are like my aunt's caterwauling.
    Is that your sword? It looks like a hand-me-down.
  • edited July 2009
    Sure it is, I took it from the last man I killed.
    _________________________________________

    You're worse than a slubberdegullion anthropophagus!
  • edited July 2009
    octochan wrote: »
    You're worse than a slubberdegullion anthropophagus!
    I wanted to make sure the last thing you see is something famil(y)iar.
    Is that a sword or a knitting needle?
  • edited July 2009
    Well, I don't see the point in fighting you if you can't tell the difference.
    ______________________________________________________________

    You don't have a chance of hurting me, so at least try not to hurt yourself.
  • edited July 2009
    octochan wrote: »
    Well, I don't see the point in fighting you if you can't tell the difference.
    ______________________________________________________________

    You don't have a chance of hurting me, so at least try not to hurt yourself.


    Oh so that is why you have an eye patch, a left hook and a right wooden peg leg.

    I see your so called fancy footwork is running away from your opponents.
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    Oh so that is why you have an eye patch, a left hook and a right wooden peg leg.

    I see your so called fancy footwork is running away from your opponents.

    Well your witty insults came from The Typical Insult Guide.
    Either your dancing like a monkey or your happy to see me.
  • edited July 2009
    Melcadrien wrote: »
    Either your dancing like a monkey or your happy to see me.

    It is a more plausible theory that I, or anyone, are dancing like a monkey than to actually be happy to see you.


    I bet you're taking this insult personally, aren't you?
  • edited July 2009
    tredlow wrote: »
    It is a more plausible theory that I, or anyone, are dancing like a monkey than to actually be happy to see you.


    I bet you're taking this insult personally, aren't you?


    You bet I take it personal! Your insult stinks as bad as your breath! Can't you come up with a better insult?!


    You are such a lousy pirate, you have to pay people to be scared of you.
  • edited July 2009
    Too bad you have to pay people just to sit around you and face your smell.


    You look like one of 'dem Power Porcelain Pirates!
  • edited July 2009
    You look like one who collects them!
    I'd keelhaul you back to the Dark Ages!
  • edited July 2009
    Thank you, but I've had enough of your livingroom.


    You make Pink Pajama Pierre look manly!
  • edited July 2009
    Thank you, but I've had enough of your livingroom.


    You make Pink Pajama Pierre look manly!

    Yes, that's for you - someone has to be a man in your relationship!
    Surrender now, I don't want to hurt mentaly disabled person!
  • edited July 2009
    I fail to see how hurting yourself would make me surrender!
    I've seen barbers that cut deeper than you!
  • edited July 2009
    Spadge wrote: »

    I've seen barbers that cut deeper than you!


    Apparently they didn't cut deep enough!


    Your lack of skills never ceases to amaze me!
  • edited July 2009
    nikozwan wrote: »


    Apparently they didn't cut deep enough!


    Your lack of skills never ceases to amaze me!


    But your lack of a brain never susprises me!


    My name is legendary in all the seven seas!
  • edited July 2009
    megajem wrote: »
    But your lack of a brain never susprises me!


    My name is legendary in all the seven seas!

    Och, so you are the man from Legend of a Clumsy Idiot?
    When I'm done with you, you will be using your backside to talk.
  • edited July 2009
    Novotnus wrote: »
    Och, so you are the man from Legend of a Clumsy Idiot?
    When I'm done with you, you will be using your backside to talk.

    Well, if that's the only way someone can communicate with you, in a manner that you'll understand.


    Haggis wears a kilt because he's scottish, what's your excuse for wearing a dress?
  • edited July 2009
    Well, if that's the only way someone can communicate with you, in a manner that you'll understand.


    Haggis wears a kilt because he's scottish, what's your excuse for wearing a dress?

    I was afraid that you will run away from the fight if I dressed like a man!
    Is that your tail, or your tapeworm needs some fresh air?
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