Well, was nearly 10 years ago to the day now and it was all caused by severe depression of all kinds that I've gotten over through deciding to live a little.
It's not like I lack friends. I've got two great friends who I feel are pretty much my sisters. But I dunno, happiness is elusive for long periods of time.
If that was hard for you'll i'll admit something nowhere as bad as yours but still.I have contemplated suicide years ago and found it weird because of how terrified i am of death.It's just so contradicting it still mind boggles me.
After long thought I've decided to indulge you - attempted overdose, the old fashion way, and driving my car off the steepest drop I could find without taking anyone else with me in the process.
It's not like I lack friends. I've got two great friends who I feel are pretty much my sisters. But I dunno, happiness is elusive for long periods of time.
My mother - has always been alcoholic and she deny it, she thinks that being drunk every day is completely normal.
My father- when i was a kid (4 to 12 year old) he spent his time beating me
My older sister,30 year old today - she left the house when she was 16 ( i was 6) because she was tired of the violence of my father, i have never ever seen her again so i didn't really known her but i know she has been abused too, i've heard that today she'is a teacher in an elementary school, (good for her)
My second sister - spent her time inventing false stories to makes my father beat me, eventually when i was 17 she made him kick me of the house
My third sister - the favorite of my parent (never got beaten), got pregnant at 19 when she was drunk, her boyfriend who was 18 didn't wanted a kid because it was an accident, he wanted her to get aborted( they were way too young to get kids) but just to piss him off she kept the baby, married him and divorced him so he was obligated to give her half of his money ( he was just 19)- also, she never worked of her life because my parent, gave her all the money that was supposed to pay for my college
And there is me - i left the house at 17 with nothing( when my father punched once too much, because of my sister), i went college anyway in a overpriced dorm room where i still live today, i have good grade and a student job of lifeguard that i really like ( now i'm 19) also i have 3 good best friends who support me no matter what, i have the conviction that the best times are ahead of me
It's not like I lack friends. I've got two great friends who I feel are pretty much my sisters. But I dunno, happiness is elusive for long periods of time.
I grew up in a family of 6
My mother - has always been alcoholic and she deny it, she thinks that being drunk every day is completely n… moreormal.
My father- when i was a kid (4 to 12 year old) he spent his time beating me
My older sister,30 year old today - she left the house when she was 16 ( i was 6) because she was tired of the violence of my father, i have never ever seen her again so i didn't really known her but i know she has been abused too, i've heard that today she'is a teacher in an elementary school, (good for her)
My second sister - spent her time inventing false stories to makes my father beat me, eventually when i was 17 she made him kick me of the house
My third sister - the favorite of my parent (never got beaten), got pregnant at 19 when she was drunk, her boyfriend who was 18 didn't wanted a kid because it was an accident, he wanted her to get aborted( they were way too young to get kids) but just … [view original content]
Man I was scared pretty much shitless too, but I was in a state where I figured it'd be better than the alternative.
That's when you really go over the deep end, mate. I think most people probably ponder it at one point in their lives, but few are actually dumb enough to go for it. Like me.
If that was hard for you'll i'll admit something nowhere as bad as yours but still.I have contemplated suicide years ago and found it weird because of how terrified i am of death.It's just so contradicting it still mind boggles me.
If it was an invasion of privacy I wouldn't have shared this info. Anyway, no I'm not content. I want something more than I have, but I don't know. As for depression, no never seriously, just brief brushes.
well as a present Obama is doing better the opposite cut most of the people he's appointed for the I major agencies that oversee our fruit production and produce in the country come for the biotechnology industry Monsanto and DuPont some others example include figures likeRoger beach he's a former director of Monsanto plant science center he is now the director the USTA National Institute of Food agriculture similarly Islam cod key with the former president crop life which is what I've Monsanto's main lobbying firms now the agriculture director for the US Trade Representative that you had Atlantic pagan who is now the on spring court she was the Solicitor General and she sighed with Monsanto in the Supreme Court case back in April.
http://weightlosssure.com/
well as a present Obama is doing better the opposite cut most of the people he's appointed for the I major agencies that oversee our fruit p… moreroduction and produce in the country come for the biotechnology industry Monsanto and DuPont some others example include figures likeRoger beach he's a former director of Monsanto plant science center he is now the director the USTA National Institute of Food agriculture similarly Islam cod key with the former president crop life which is what I've Monsanto's main lobbying firms now the agriculture director for the US Trade Representative that you had Atlantic pagan who is now the on spring court she was the Solicitor General and she sighed with Monsanto in the Supreme Court case back in April.
http://weightlosssure.com/
Hm... a forum like this isn't really the best place to do this. Do you have any sort of instant messaging service? You said you share your steam with your brother, so that's out of the equation.
If it was an invasion of privacy I wouldn't have shared this info. Anyway, no I'm not content. I want something more than I have, but I don't know. As for depression, no never seriously, just brief brushes.
I'm going to be that guy who's actually serious here but I've actually had several suicide attempts over my life, long ago, and for some reason all of them failed.
Though I guess that much is obvious.
This probably doesn't help at all, but I've always found there isn't any point forcing happiness where there's none to be found.
Eventually, you just reach a point where you find things that scratch that particular itch. Happened for me, with a bit of luck. And that's quite the damn Christmas miracle right there.
No need. It's 2am and I'm in bed anyway. And I'm hesitant to give out things like where people could message me because I'm really private regarding certain things.
Hm... a forum like this isn't really the best place to do this. Do you have any sort of instant messaging service? You said you share your steam with your brother, so that's out of the equation.
Sorry. My dad gets pretty drunk often, and hits me, too. Then, I started taking Krav Maga, now he that fucker can't touch me. He's been getting a lot better, which is helpful for my younger brother and sister, but not me really. I'm going to be leaving at 17, too. I love my mom to death, but my dad and I can never really live together. My two older brothers couldn't stand him, either. I will not act like I know your pain, but I just want you to know, I'm sorry.
I grew up in a family of 6
My mother - has always been alcoholic and she deny it, she thinks that being drunk every day is completely n… moreormal.
My father- when i was a kid (4 to 12 year old) he spent his time beating me
My older sister,30 year old today - she left the house when she was 16 ( i was 6) because she was tired of the violence of my father, i have never ever seen her again so i didn't really known her but i know she has been abused too, i've heard that today she'is a teacher in an elementary school, (good for her)
My second sister - spent her time inventing false stories to makes my father beat me, eventually when i was 17 she made him kick me of the house
My third sister - the favorite of my parent (never got beaten), got pregnant at 19 when she was drunk, her boyfriend who was 18 didn't wanted a kid because it was an accident, he wanted her to get aborted( they were way too young to get kids) but just … [view original content]
No need. It's 2am and I'm in bed anyway. And I'm hesitant to give out things like where people could message me because I'm really private regarding certain things.
I grew up in a family of 6
My mother - has always been alcoholic and she deny it, she thinks that being drunk every day is completely n… moreormal.
My father- when i was a kid (4 to 12 year old) he spent his time beating me
My older sister,30 year old today - she left the house when she was 16 ( i was 6) because she was tired of the violence of my father, i have never ever seen her again so i didn't really known her but i know she has been abused too, i've heard that today she'is a teacher in an elementary school, (good for her)
My second sister - spent her time inventing false stories to makes my father beat me, eventually when i was 17 she made him kick me of the house
My third sister - the favorite of my parent (never got beaten), got pregnant at 19 when she was drunk, her boyfriend who was 18 didn't wanted a kid because it was an accident, he wanted her to get aborted( they were way too young to get kids) but just … [view original content]
Well. This is not exactly secret, or dark. But it is pretty embarrassing. Should be good for a laugh.
Me and a bunch of other guys were on this weekend summer retreat, about age 16-17. So there was this pool room, right? I changed in the bathroom, so I still had my clothes with me, and later these other girls on a similar summer retreat come in and opt for the hot tub, cuz y'know, cliques, genders and strangers. Some few 15-30 minutes later, it was time to get out cuz a thing was happening. I decided to get out and change into my clothes, cuz hey, I brought mine and nobody else did.
I had forgotten that we were not alone. Some specific thing inside the part of my brain that dictated all things comfort zone had decided I would. When the rest of my buddies pointed out my own full frontal assault to me, it was already too late. "Chin up" was not a very motivating phrase for me that day.
well as a present Obama is doing better the opposite cut most of the people he's appointed for the I major agencies that oversee our fruit p… moreroduction and produce in the country come for the biotechnology industry Monsanto and DuPont some others example include figures likeRoger beach he's a former director of Monsanto plant science center he is now the director the USTA National Institute of Food agriculture similarly Islam cod key with the former president crop life which is what I've Monsanto's main lobbying firms now the agriculture director for the US Trade Representative that you had Atlantic pagan who is now the on spring court she was the Solicitor General and she sighed with Monsanto in the Supreme Court case back in April.
http://weightlosssure.com/
Everything was fine in my life, I had a lot of friends, good school, even a "girlfriend", but then we moved to another city and everything became hell.
I got bullied, humiliated, people started gossiping about me.
They even took pictures of me and put them to the internet.
I started to skive o school, and I had dark thoughts in my head. It was pretty obivious that there was something wrong with me, I just didn't know what. I didn't like to go out of my house 'cause I had this feeling that everybody was looking at me like I was a monster or something.
Those bullies really hurt me and I wanted to hurt them back so I did the baseball bat thing to one of them.
I didn't tell my mom about the bullyng but she fnd it out when she saw that I was being bullied on the street.
Then I changed school and we moved to another house and almost everything was fine again :)
But I still couldn't forget what they did to me.
No I would not.
That would be personal, and personal it would remain.
Besides, I'm confident the last thing any person would want is their secrets/problems going viral.
That's how lives can be ruined!
I know the only person I would speak to about personal matters would be a trusted friend or family member.
And even then a person has to be careful about not just what they reveal, but also and more importantly how they reveal it.
Because if they are not gracious in how they speak, the other person not be willing to listen to them again.
Sometimes, it's not just what a person says, but how they say it, that can make the difference.
No I would not.
That would be personal, and personal it would remain.
Besides, I'm confident the last thing any person would want is the… moreir secrets/problems going viral.
That's how lives can be ruined!
I know the only person I would speak to about personal matters would be a trusted friend or family member.
And even then a person has to be careful about not just what they reveal, but also and more importantly how they reveal it.
Because if they are not gracious in how they speak, the other person not be willing to listen to them again.
Sometimes, it's not just what a person says, but how they say it, that can make the difference.
Comments
So I think I have, thankfully.
My mother - has always been alcoholic and she deny it, she thinks that being drunk every day is completely normal.
My father- when i was a kid (4 to 12 year old) he spent his time beating me
My older sister,30 year old today - she left the house when she was 16 ( i was 6) because she was tired of the violence of my father, i have never ever seen her again so i didn't really known her but i know she has been abused too, i've heard that today she'is a teacher in an elementary school, (good for her)
My second sister - spent her time inventing false stories to makes my father beat me, eventually when i was 17 she made him kick me of the house
My third sister - the favorite of my parent (never got beaten), got pregnant at 19 when she was drunk, her boyfriend who was 18 didn't wanted a kid because it was an accident, he wanted her to get aborted( they were way too young to get kids) but just to piss him off she kept the baby, married him and divorced him so he was obligated to give her half of his money ( he was just 19)- also, she never worked of her life because my parent, gave her all the money that was supposed to pay for my college
And there is me - i left the house at 17 with nothing( when my father punched once too much, because of my sister), i went college anyway in a overpriced dorm room where i still live today, i have good grade and a student job of lifeguard that i really like ( now i'm 19) also i have 3 good best friends who support me no matter what, i have the conviction that the best times are ahead of me
That's when you really go over the deep end, mate. I think most people probably ponder it at one point in their lives, but few are actually dumb enough to go for it. Like me.
http://weightlosssure.com/
Eventually, you just reach a point where you find things that scratch that particular itch. Happened for me, with a bit of luck. And that's quite the damn Christmas miracle right there.
Sorry to hear about that. Glad you didn't follow through either.
Me and a bunch of other guys were on this weekend summer retreat, about age 16-17. So there was this pool room, right? I changed in the bathroom, so I still had my clothes with me, and later these other girls on a similar summer retreat come in and opt for the hot tub, cuz y'know, cliques, genders and strangers. Some few 15-30 minutes later, it was time to get out cuz a thing was happening. I decided to get out and change into my clothes, cuz hey, I brought mine and nobody else did.
I had forgotten that we were not alone. Some specific thing inside the part of my brain that dictated all things comfort zone had decided I would. When the rest of my buddies pointed out my own full frontal assault to me, it was already too late. "Chin up" was not a very motivating phrase for me that day.
Did I mention I also killed a dragon?
That's all the fucks I give.
Everything was fine in my life, I had a lot of friends, good school, even a "girlfriend", but then we moved to another city and everything became hell.
I got bullied, humiliated, people started gossiping about me.
They even took pictures of me and put them to the internet.
I started to skive o school, and I had dark thoughts in my head. It was pretty obivious that there was something wrong with me, I just didn't know what. I didn't like to go out of my house 'cause I had this feeling that everybody was looking at me like I was a monster or something.
Those bullies really hurt me and I wanted to hurt them back so I did the baseball bat thing to one of them.
I didn't tell my mom about the bullyng but she fnd it out when she saw that I was being bullied on the street.
Then I changed school and we moved to another house and almost everything was fine again :)
But I still couldn't forget what they did to me.
Those 4 years really left a mark on me.
That would be personal, and personal it would remain.
Besides, I'm confident the last thing any person would want is their secrets/problems going viral.
That's how lives can be ruined!
I know the only person I would speak to about personal matters would be a trusted friend or family member.
And even then a person has to be careful about not just what they reveal, but also and more importantly how they reveal it.
Because if they are not gracious in how they speak, the other person not be willing to listen to them again.
Sometimes, it's not just what a person says, but how they say it, that can make the difference.