Two babies is a bit more than we bargained for financially; my husband just left his job in the army (not that it paid much anyway!) and I work in construction for which the pay is crap haha, but when he manages to get a new job we should be fine
Sorry to hear that . I know how it feels. My dad used to be an asshole . But, like I said. I'm sorry for what ya been through. I wish it coulda been different.
your dad seems like a good dad. I wished my dad would give a shit about me, I mean, I don't talk to him since July, he gave me nothing on my… more birthday, when he comes to the country I live, he always gets drunk in one of those days, obviously I am the target when he is drunk... but ya know, just normal stuff, It's not like I care about his opinion now, I can't give a fuck about what he says since the only thing he does is disappoint me. The only thing I get to see everyday is pictures of his new happy family posted on facebook or whatever, but I don't care, just let him live his life.
Well, I'm not a father (may be in a year or two, but not now.) however I was responsible for more or less raising my little sister from preteens to early adulthood, and even though it was a pain in the arse, I never once felt any need to give any sort of 'correction.'
Way I see it, all that's going to bring is resentment. Your kids shouldn't fear and resent you. A child's parents should be a positive example for the kid growing up, something they can aspire to be like as an adult...and you're not setting any sort of positive example by beating them into complacency.
I say that from experience as someone who grew up resenting their parents for exactly this. I still have more than a few lasting scars on my wrists.
Sorry to hear that . I know how it feels. My dad used to be an asshole . But, like I said. I'm sorry for what ya been through. I wish it coulda been different.
So instead you're just going to let them grow up to be the kind of person who thinks they should hit other people for talking in a way they don't like...
It just seems odd to me to defend corporal punishment as teaching a child that "life doesn't work that way," when the society that you are preparing them for doesn't employ corporal punishment. Why not just emulate what the society actually does to people who commit an offense? Confine them to an isolated space and take away their privileges. Ground them.
It just seems odd to me to defend corporal punishment as teaching a child that "life doesn't work that way," when the society that you are p… morereparing them for doesn't employ corporal punishment. Why not just emulate what the society actually does to people who commit an offense? Confine them to an isolated space and take away their privileges. Ground them.
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS OLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
thats fucking horrible, beating you son for spilling some fucking milk, what an awful person. all people should be required to take a test before they can become parents
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
thats fucking horrible, beating you son for spilling some fucking milk, what an awful person. all people should be required to take a test before they can become parents
PS: congrats with the kid BTW
Well, I'm not a father (may be in a year or two, but not now.) however I was responsible for more or less raising my little sister from pret… moreeens to early adulthood, and even though it was a pain in the arse, I never once felt any need to give any sort of 'correction.'
Way I see it, all that's going to bring is resentment. Your kids shouldn't fear and resent you. A child's parents should be a positive example for the kid growing up, something they can aspire to be like as an adult...and you're not setting any sort of positive example by beating them into complacency.
I say that from experience as someone who grew up resenting their parents for exactly this. I still have more than a few lasting scars on my wrists.
We certainly are!
Two babies is a bit more than we bargained for financially; my husband just left his job in the army (not that it paid … moremuch anyway!) and I work in construction for which the pay is crap haha, but when he manages to get a new job we should be fine
In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression.
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
OK. So I'm just gonna leave it at this. We were all raised on different mentalitys and were all raised different. So we all will never agree on this. So. Yeah.
Now that's straight fucked up. That kinda shit shouldn't ever happen. Now I'm real sorry to of heard that from ya, real sorry for what its worth. Now your a dad yourself, congrats! I'm sure you'll do a lot better than him. And again I'm real, real, real sorry for what's happened to ya. I wish it coulda been different for ya, ya know?
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
Who would do that to a child who is literally 4 times smaller than you? But congratulations on being a dad. People like your dad need to suffer the consequences.
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
I was hit by my dad as a young child, but only when I did something wrong that was serious, or they told me to stop multiple times, or I disrespected my mother. This only bred resentment and I began to have a tolerance to pain, which I still retain today. My parents tried to try a different technique in grounding me, and telling me explicitly why what I was doing was wrong.
It worked, I stopped being a little prick, and I began to understand, and not resent my parents anymore. It's not that I think hitting children when they do something is wrong. It just doesn't work, they need to understand you, not fear you.
do what you do. just don't abuse it. it has to be clear why you are doing it. not every single bad behavior leads to the belt. and if you use that type of correction, have a talk with them of what happened and why they got what they deserved (ok if they did anything that deserved to get hit) and explain and remind them that you still love them. I hated the belt, but I know why I got it, and I got explanation and I never, or hardly ever did anything of that ever again. ohh this is mostly when they are younger when they get older, like teens that shit would hardly work, so youll probably stop using it then and get to getting them where it hurts, like taking away money, tv privileges, gaming consoles, phones (big now a days), and longer grounding days. so just do what you think its right, just don't be a abuser.
ok not that's is straight fucked that shit is fucked up and im sorry that fucker should be on jail. but the last thing you said is not true, I know tons of people and myself that got hit, not to that level you did NEVER, and I never gotten into a fight. I have fought but that was because I needed to stand up for myself and defend myself. and it only happened 3 times, that I fought. no so I don't know why people bullshit on that.
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS … moreOLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
I strongly disagree.
My dad spanked me as a kid, and I'm a peaceable man.
The only time I'll resort to violence, is if my family is threatened, or in self-defense.
And both reasons are completely natural and justifiable.
And I'm raising my kids the same way my dad raised me.
And I don't put any stalk in the advice that psychologist gave in his article.
It's sounds to Dr. Spockish.
Dr Spock also said not to spank kids, and later on he was forced to renounce a lot of his teachings.
In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase … morechild aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression.
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids
You are just making your kids worse and it's a stupid punishment.
I strongly disagree.
My dad spanked me as a kid, and I'm a peaceable man.
The only time I'll resort to violence, is if my family is threat… moreened, or in self-defense.
And both reasons are completely natural and justifiable.
And I'm raising my kids the same way my dad raised me.
And I don't put any stalk in the advice that psychologist gave in his article.
It's sounds to Dr. Spockish.
Dr Spock also said not to spank kids, and later on he was forced to renounce a lot of his teachings.
OK. So I'm just gonna leave it at this. We were all raised on different mentalitys and were all raised different. So we all will never agree on this. So. Yeah.
The only time I'll resort to violence, is if my family is threatened, or in self-defense.
Or when your kids disagree with you or do something that you don't like.
I'm not saying my kids don't have a right to their own opinion about things.
However, there are certain things that will always be right and wrong.
And it's my job as a father to teach them the difference.
As well as teach them respect for their elders.
A few things I will not tolerate is....
Them smartin' off to me...... and, their deliberately ignoring me when I tell them to do something, especially if it's for their good.
And like I said before, to another user, don't twist my words.
The only time I'll resort to violence, is if my family is threatened, or in self-defense.
Or when your kids disagree with you or do something that you don't like.
Comments
We certainly are!
Two babies is a bit more than we bargained for financially; my husband just left his job in the army (not that it paid much anyway!) and I work in construction for which the pay is crap haha, but when he manages to get a new job we should be fine
.
Sorry to hear that . I know how it feels. My dad used to be an asshole . But, like I said. I'm sorry for what ya been through. I wish it coulda been different.
"Bring out the belt."
Yes, because beating your kid with a fucking belt is going to solve every possible problem.
Well, I'm not a father (may be in a year or two, but not now.) however I was responsible for more or less raising my little sister from preteens to early adulthood, and even though it was a pain in the arse, I never once felt any need to give any sort of 'correction.'
Way I see it, all that's going to bring is resentment. Your kids shouldn't fear and resent you. A child's parents should be a positive example for the kid growing up, something they can aspire to be like as an adult...and you're not setting any sort of positive example by beating them into complacency.
I say that from experience as someone who grew up resenting their parents for exactly this. I still have more than a few lasting scars on my wrists.
Don't be sorry
this helped me to understand a lot of things that I'm glad to know today.
Well at least you seem positive. Positivity helps a lot sometimes.
hahaha just sometimes xD
Yeah. But I'm sure your a good person. With a positive attitude.
Aww thanks
I'm glad to have met so many nice people as you guys.
No problem. I'm glad to have met ya too.
Please don't twist my words.
It just seems odd to me to defend corporal punishment as teaching a child that "life doesn't work that way," when the society that you are preparing them for doesn't employ corporal punishment. Why not just emulate what the society actually does to people who commit an offense? Confine them to an isolated space and take away their privileges. Ground them.
Sometimes, a simple grounding isn't enough.
Sometimes a more severe form of punishment is needed.
That's where a spanking can come in quite nicely.
good fucking god, thats fucking horrible
As a child, my dad used to beat the shit out of me. Half the time, think he just did it to prove a point. I remember when I was 5...5 YEARS OLD...he beat me to the point were I ended up in the hospital for fractured ribs and dislocated shoulder. (I spilled a cup of milk) I have not seen him since and I've heard horror stories of parents doing worse over stupid shit like that.
I'm expecting my 1st child in April and the thought of hitting my child makes me sick. Hitting teaches them that violence is the only way to solve your problems. When they are little their cognitive skills and abilities are JUST developing, talking to them and SHOWING them right from wrong is a better option.
thats fucking horrible, beating you son for spilling some fucking milk, what an awful person. all people should be required to take a test before they can become parents
PS: congrats with the kid BTW
Beating your kid and sending him to hospital because he spilled one fucking cup of milk.
insert genius meme here
"I still have more than a few lasting scars on my wrists." what the fuck, what horrible monsters would do such a thing?
Are you gay? I'm confused.
In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression.
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids
You are just making your kids worse and it's a stupid punishment.
Yeah I am, what confused you?
The part with the ultra-sound. But I get it now.
Good luck and congratulations.
So because you was hit, you think your child should go through the same shit?
You are the worst father ever. You remind me of Kenny alot.
Hah, yeah we're using a surrogate
What the fuck is wrong with people! God, that is awful! I hope he rots in hell. No one should ever do that to a person, let alone a child!
Congrats on becoming a daddy. You'll be so much better that he ever was.
OK. So I'm just gonna leave it at this. We were all raised on different mentalitys and were all raised different. So we all will never agree on this. So. Yeah.
Now that's straight fucked up. That kinda shit shouldn't ever happen. Now I'm real sorry to of heard that from ya, real sorry for what its worth. Now your a dad yourself, congrats! I'm sure you'll do a lot better than him. And again I'm real, real, real sorry for what's happened to ya. I wish it coulda been different for ya, ya know?
Who would do that to a child who is literally 4 times smaller than you? But congratulations on being a dad. People like your dad need to suffer the consequences.
I was hit by my dad as a young child, but only when I did something wrong that was serious, or they told me to stop multiple times, or I disrespected my mother. This only bred resentment and I began to have a tolerance to pain, which I still retain today. My parents tried to try a different technique in grounding me, and telling me explicitly why what I was doing was wrong.
It worked, I stopped being a little prick, and I began to understand, and not resent my parents anymore. It's not that I think hitting children when they do something is wrong. It just doesn't work, they need to understand you, not fear you.
do what you do. just don't abuse it. it has to be clear why you are doing it. not every single bad behavior leads to the belt. and if you use that type of correction, have a talk with them of what happened and why they got what they deserved (ok if they did anything that deserved to get hit) and explain and remind them that you still love them. I hated the belt, but I know why I got it, and I got explanation and I never, or hardly ever did anything of that ever again. ohh this is mostly when they are younger when they get older, like teens that shit would hardly work, so youll probably stop using it then and get to getting them where it hurts, like taking away money, tv privileges, gaming consoles, phones (big now a days), and longer grounding days. so just do what you think its right, just don't be a abuser.
ok not that's is straight fucked that shit is fucked up and im sorry that fucker should be on jail. but the last thing you said is not true, I know tons of people and myself that got hit, not to that level you did NEVER, and I never gotten into a fight. I have fought but that was because I needed to stand up for myself and defend myself. and it only happened 3 times, that I fought. no so I don't know why people bullshit on that.
I strongly disagree.
My dad spanked me as a kid, and I'm a peaceable man.
The only time I'll resort to violence, is if my family is threatened, or in self-defense.
And both reasons are completely natural and justifiable.
And I'm raising my kids the same way my dad raised me.
And I don't put any stalk in the advice that psychologist gave in his article.
It's sounds to Dr. Spockish.
Dr Spock also said not to spank kids, and later on he was forced to renounce a lot of his teachings.
Or when your kids disagree with you or do something that you don't like.
My dad raised me, with Carver discipline.
He used to throw you off buildings?
I'm not saying my kids don't have a right to their own opinion about things.
However, there are certain things that will always be right and wrong.
And it's my job as a father to teach them the difference.
As well as teach them respect for their elders.
A few things I will not tolerate is....
Them smartin' off to me...... and, their deliberately ignoring me when I tell them to do something, especially if it's for their good.
And like I said before, to another user, don't twist my words.