I need advice (The answer is...)
So obviously everyone on these forums are love doctors, so I need advice.
I have a crush on this girl, shes single, I want to ask her out.
Simple huh, well I personally think im ugly and have no chance at a girlfriend, so the main factors are low self-esteem and fear of rejection/embarrasement, what should I do?
Signed, Mr.anonymous Golden Paladin
Update...Okay so I asked her and I winged it like I said. There was no one there except her when I asked, I sat next to her and she gave me a weird look. I shrugged it off and asked what book she was reading, she told me and then I told her I have a crush on her. She looked at me confused, and with the occasional embarrassed laugh. I felt embarrassed but I said "I dont know what to say", she said "neither do I". I asked if she wanted me to go and she said no. Overall it was awkward silence, I then asked if she got her student ID yet, which they were giving out today, she said no and she didnt know where to go. Of course being the gentleman that I am, offered to escort her. She agreed and I brought to her to get it, after that I asked for her number but she doesnt have a phone. I said Id see her last period...In last period my friend got her to ask to date me as I was too scared she would say no...She asked and I said yes...So im dating someone now, thats for your help.
Comments
Stop bein such a weenie and ask her out lol.
I would ask her out, if your not good looking then be real nice/playful towards her and it will work
Girls have a lot of respect for guys who have the guts to ask them out.
Then, after the respect, she'll grind you into the earth under her heels.
No, actually, figure out something specific that you think she'd like to do, and ask her to that. Not, "Hey, you wanna go out sometime?" but "Hey, I scored two tickets to roller derby, wanna go with me?" And if she says no, it has nothing to do with you, and you saved a lot of time realizing the bitch doesn't like roller derby.
I will bring up Gittie...And im not good with that.
I get nervous and get away before my anxiety kicks in.
I seriously dont need a panic attack bro.
Well I kinda look like a younger Luke
XD well then...Did someone not want to go to the roller derby with you?
Just chill be calm, and go in. "I'll catch you if you fall, probably"
...I have anxiety so yeah XD
Hell I get kinda worried when I walk down the stairs, asking girls out makes me get kinda panicked and with my genes will probably have a panic attack.
What a wonderful life I lived.
Say Gittie one more fucking time and I will literally destroy your soul bruh.
XD okay
Again you'll be fine Probably Just don't act panicked or desperate around her at first... The Love Expert, Saltlick123
I should find way for her to sit near me at lunch or me near her.
Good, Use your Inner Saltlick, All Saltlicks are regular Casanovas
What is a good way for me to get over there without it being...Weird.
Well see if your friends sit near there and if you take the same classes try to get the teacher to partner you up with her in a project
Well im pretty sure she sits alone at lunch and I have computer with her...Not exactly a partner type of class.
Well "Kenny:We Improvise Mike:You don't plan to improvise" Well sit near her at lunch and if she asks why say you don't want her to feel lonely, she'll like that and for computer class idk ask the teacher if there's partner activities available
...Thanks i will update this monday...For when I get rejected
"Why Because you made it with her"-Changed Clem quote
I guess we will see
I don't know if any girls have given their say on this, but here it goes.
As a girl whose been rejected by every guy I ever liked and had to be the one to say something first (for obvious reasons), I would like to see a guy tell me he likes me for a change, even if I don't like him back, I definitely give him points for having balls when most guys don't nowadays. But, if you're scared of being rejected, give it some more time. Most of the people I get interested in lately I don't say anything too, I sit back and observe until I can find out enough about them to determine if they like me, or if they're even worth dating. Most of the time, I've found out they're not worth dating anyways.
Then again if you just want a 'friend with benefits' who cares about long-term, just go for it and move on to the next.
Well thats good advice but its not the fear of rejection as it is the fear of embarrassment.
For obvious reasons when youre a freshman in high school its probably better to not get a bad rep early.
If she says no, im fine, dealt with many before but if it causes bullying, thats when im worried.
Embarrassment? Yeah it's always embarrassing getting rejected, but what exactly about that embarrassment is so hard for you?
Honestly, who cares about a high school reputation? Join some clubs, make friends in these clubs, and have fun. My # 1 piece of advice for surviving high school is to not even worry about being in with the cool kids, and find some people who you can really be friends with despite what people may say about you. I wish I would've, since I had no friends out of high school because I was so worried about trying to climb the social latter. I had a horrible reputation in high school and was avoided like the plague, all because my mother worked at the high school I went to.
Its the bullying, you dont want some asshole pushing you around everyday. Thats why I made sure to make sure she was single. Im going to try Monday, knowing my luck she will no but you know, from what I hear you were the same way.
OOOOOH YOU REALLY GRIND MY GEARS BOI!
Gittie.
Who would bully you for being rejected? That's ridiculously low. -__-
From all the times I've been rejected, I've honestly learned that if you feel it won't work out, it's more than likely not going too. I don't mean to discourage you, but as someone whose been rejected my whole life by guys, I just know that feeling.
Yeah people do things like that.
Its not that I feel it wont work as I have been given the idea im unattractive. Im like a younger, little bit chubbier luke. I dont see any girl liking me, even if they say it to my face ill think its some sick joke...Oh low self-esteem and anxiety doesnt help this situation.
Son, I ought ta slap you for sayin' that.
I understand exactly what you mean, but the worst thing we can do for ourselves is feel that way. I used to compare my appearance to other guys, and think, "Am I pretty enough to date him?" Every time I got rejected, my self-esteem would get worse, and worse, and I would lower my standards and my value of myself went down because I thought, if this boy didn't like me, then no boy will.
This last year I met one of the cutest guys, a super nice and down to earth guy who was genuinely nice to me. He met all the qualifications/standards I had listed as being in a guy I like. I was really attracted to him from the get go, and he teased me all the time as we went back and forth giving each other hell, he even told me he only treated girls he had feelings for like the way he was treating me. Then I found out he had a girlfriend he was planning on proposing too, despite the way he was leading me on. He even talked about breaking up with her, and I felt like we had a chance of getting together once he was over this girlfriend whom he never spoke highly of.
After a few months of going on like this, I stopped being flirty with him, and he stopped talking to me altogether. He knew he was a hot commodity, and he was only gonna stick around if a girl was gonna reinforce that fact to him. So, I stopped, and he stopped treating me like he used too. I found out, that despite him being good looking, his personality really detracted from his physical appearance, and even if he bucked up and changed and broke up with his girlfriend, I would never consider dating him.
So, trust me, looks are not all that important in the real world. Don't let a rejection make you feel any less attractive.
Yeah I know looks dont matter, I like girls that are average...Who they is what matters.
That guy is a dick.
I feel like when I look in a mirror,alone,like im handsome. Then I see happy couples or cute girls and I just lose whatever I thought...
Its the thought that counts
Hey bro. I wish I could give advice, but I guess you could say I'm in the situation.
Well I'm Forever Alone guy, so good luck, :P
What's so bad about being forever alone?!
I'm 22 years single and going strong! Honestly, being single is the best, you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself and your goals.
For me its the feeling of being unwanted especially when all my friends are out on dates and im sitting in my room alone.
I've learned that being really attractive is a curse. You're treated differently and you act differently, and it's all around more of a curse than a blessing. Things become to superficial. You can find a meh looking person, or even an ugly one, and get to know them and be totally in love with who they are and find that their physical appearance is enhanced because their personality's make it so. For extremely attractive people, I've always found it's the opposite. So being MEH rules, because you are just normal.
We reconciled, but I realized that just because he looked good it acted as a mask that hid the inner dick inside of him. Literally. XD
I feel the same way, I can look at myself in a mirror and think I look good, then I go out in public or go on social media websites, and I see other girls, and I feel like I'm the ugliest woman alive. The mentality you had is the one I had, and you definitely do not want to go down the road I have, it absolutely destroyed my confidence to the point I've quit trying with finding a husband. Don't let that ruin you!
I didn't say it was bad :P.
I guess being single can have its perks, but I'm still young so I guess I'll see. I just think it would be nice to have someone in your life, because I like being around people, even if I do feel major awkward. But I'm glad you're "going strong" sounds like you're doing good for yourself. That's great
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Oh my gosh man, that was exactly how I felt in high school! I was punching and kicking myself every day and every weekend in high school because I was home, doing nothing, and had no friends. I turned to writing and drawing and it helped me cope, and it also helped me realize that I didn't want to be out having dates and dealing with people, because I got to develop who I really am, not some societal bullshit that gets pushed on kiddos.
I still feel unwanted by men everyday, but, who cares? I have friends and family who have told me how much I mean to them!
Son, sounds like you just want some friends to go hand out with and maybe a gal to share some kind of different experiences with. It's totally natural. I've never been on a date, kissed anyone, or had anyone ask me out. So, yeah, I understand that feeling of wanting to be out there and being the only girl in my group of friends who is like that. But when you time comes, it will come, and don't rush it.
Going strong as in, it doesn't bother me anymore, I don't cry about it every week like I used too.
Im not giving up thats why im doing this when i first saw this girl I felt something, I doubt she notices but I guess I will find out.
Im told im wanted but I feel like I have some big purpose and its not to live and die.When im alone I turn to philosophy and biomedical writings. Im planning a head but I dont want to walk the road alone.