22 years of being perpetually single really say otherwise. -__- lol
I'm fine being single, but being ugly really takes a lot of fun out of life. Especially if you're a woman, when all that people really value at this age is looks.
I think the real problem is the "don't talk to them ever unless I absolutely have to" part. If you could smile and be a little more outgoing, and most of all make guys feel important (guys love to feel important), that might get some things going. Though I wouldn't go for the all-out relationship right off, just try being friendly. Guys aren't mean to someone who's acting friendly, and if they are, you don't want to be friends with them anyway.
22 years of being perpetually single really say otherwise. -__- lol
I'm fine being single, but being ugly really takes a lot of fun out of life. Especially if you're a woman, when all that people really value at this age is looks.
I'm sorry, but even if I know I'm ugly, I'm still shallow enough to try and find someone I think is attractive. There's no denying that everyone is looking for someone physically attractive, and everyone thinks that different people are beautiful or that they're ugly, so it's like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But when you're just downright ugly, it's not that simple.
Also, I do smile, and I am nice to people, I just have always felt more comfortable talking to a woman than I ever have talking to a man. Like, when I'm in a group of people, I avoid talking to men because I always notice they flock to the most attractive girl in the group, so I don't speak to them. I notice a huge difference with guys when they're talking to a pretty girl, v. a girl like me. When guys talk to me it's like they're meh, I have to speak to this girl, gross. But when they get to talk to a pretty girl/someone they think is attractive, they instantly light up and are hinged on every word that girl says. And when they make me feel like that, I will not 'make them feel important' when it's obvious they don't think I am because of the obvious difference in how they treat me v. the pretty girl.
Now, I will go on to say is goes for both sexes, that yes, we do treat more attractive people differently than normal or ugly people, so I don't mean to make it sound like I'm saying guys are solely obsessed with looks. It's just after observing how I'm treated in groups when guys are present really give it away to me that I'm not attractive in the slightest, so I try to shy away and get out of the conversation because simply being present around men now makes me nervous because all I can think is how that guy is thinking why is this ugly chick standing around here?
The way guys treated me in high school absolutely crushed my self-esteem and college hasn't helped, I've only noticed that guys talk to me when they need help with homework or something, other than that it's never anything else a guy will speak to me for.
That's what the corporations want you to think.
I think the real problem is the "don't talk to them ever unless I absolutely have to" par… moret. If you could smile and be a little more outgoing, and most of all make guys feel important (guys love to feel important), that might get some things going. Though I wouldn't go for the all-out relationship right off, just try being friendly. Guys aren't mean to someone who's acting friendly, and if they are, you don't want to be friends with them anyway.
The good ones are rare... so that'll make it all the more sweet when you finally find the right guy.
I honestly do feel like there are good guys floating around.. though they get passed up for a variety of reasons. I don't know if I would qualify myself as a "good guy", but I am 20 years old and have never been in a relationship. I don't chase after the people that I want.. even when I really want to. I'm starting to think that may be a problem.
I'm not looking for the perfect guy, not even close. I'm not perfect, I'll be the first to tell you that. And there are very few 'good guys' just as there a very few 'good girls'. I don't consider myself a good girl, so I don't deserve a good guy, they deserve someone better.
People are still very shallow, we're a society obsessed with physical appearance, (Idk if you're an American, but in American it's pretty much the #1 obsession of people our age) and we're all expecting and wanting our spouses to look like Hollywood actors/actresses or porn stars. LOL I'm guilty of this too, but I don't have ridiculously high expectations for my spouse.
Well, tbh, I think you're a good guy. You've always been nice from what I've seen, and I think being single for as long as we have really says a lot about our standards and who were are as people. We have had the chances to get someone, but we choose not to for various reasons.
I know it's hard, I've been rejected my whole life, but that's why you have to start being sneaky and methodical about it. It's easier to get a yes right off the bat with certain people, but we don't know who they are until they say yes. That's why I've found it's better to employ a lot of wingmans/wingwomans to help you determine if that person is single, or interested or not interested. Sometimes we have to be that calculating, and it saves us a lot of pain later on.
The good ones are rare... so that'll make it all the more sweet when you finally find the right guy.
I honestly do feel like there are go… moreod guys floating around.. though they get passed up for a variety of reasons. I don't know if I would qualify myself as a "good guy", but I am 20 years old and have never been in a relationship. I don't chase after the people that I want.. even when I really want to. I'm starting to think that may be a problem.
I share the same mentality in the fact that I'm often not sure if I have enough to offer someone who truly deserves something special. At the same time, I know the right person is out there for me. It can be difficult for us to have faith in ourselves when we have so little to lean on in terms of experience.
And yes, I'm American. I more or less agree with your perceptions on society. It honestly seems like some people have a boyfriend/ girlfriend for the sake of having one. And if you don't have one, some people see that as odd. It is honestly to the point where my friends don't even poke fun at me anymore. My family doesn't either. They seriously think I may end up being alone forever (and I might, who knows).
As far as rejection goes... I may be in an even worse state of affairs simply because I have never been rejected. This is because I have never even given anyone the opportunity to reject me... even when I have been interested in someone. Like you said before, its often the guy that is expected to make the first move. I guess I have to work on that. I mean... I know that sounds really pathetic, but it's just the way it is with me unfortunately. Waiting around for that perfect person is all part of it as well.
I'm not looking for the perfect guy, not even close. I'm not perfect, I'll be the first to tell you that. And there are very few 'good guys'… more just as there a very few 'good girls'. I don't consider myself a good girl, so I don't deserve a good guy, they deserve someone better.
People are still very shallow, we're a society obsessed with physical appearance, (Idk if you're an American, but in American it's pretty much the #1 obsession of people our age) and we're all expecting and wanting our spouses to look like Hollywood actors/actresses or porn stars. LOL I'm guilty of this too, but I don't have ridiculously high expectations for my spouse.
Well, tbh, I think you're a good guy. You've always been nice from what I've seen, and I think being single for as long as we have really says a lot about our standards and who were are as people. We have had the chances to get someone, but we choose not to for various reasons.
I know it's hard, … [view original content]
I'm sorry, but even if I know I'm ugly, I'm still shallow enough to try and find someone I think is attractive. There's no denying that ever… moreyone is looking for someone physically attractive, and everyone thinks that different people are beautiful or that they're ugly, so it's like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But when you're just downright ugly, it's not that simple.
Also, I do smile, and I am nice to people, I just have always felt more comfortable talking to a woman than I ever have talking to a man. Like, when I'm in a group of people, I avoid talking to men because I always notice they flock to the most attractive girl in the group, so I don't speak to them. I notice a huge difference with guys when they're talking to a pretty girl, v. a girl like me. When guys talk to me it's like they're meh, I have to speak to this girl, gross. But when they get to talk to a pretty girl/someone they think is attractive, they instantly light… [view original content]
Maybe then that's a good thing. I can recognize when I like someone, if I'm not the right one for them and I want them to be happy with someone else, I'll gladly let them go. Wanting whats best for someone else when it comes to love I think is one of the most selfless things we can do for someone.
I agree, in high school it was all about having one for the sake of having one. In college people just look at my like I'm crazy when I saw I've never dated anyone. They get really weirded out when I tell them I've never even kissed someone.
You're far too young to be thinking that you'll be alone forever my friend. It's far too early for your family to be thinking that. Maybe it's because they know you've never made that first move, so, they think maybe you're just not interested in dating. I don't know, I hope I didn't offend you. But, really, try some dating websites. When I was on those, I saw people of ALL ages looking. From 17 to 65. We're not alone in being single y'know?
You're not pathetic. You didn't want to get hurt, it's a legit fear.
What is pathetic is being a woman, and being rejected every time you put my heart on the line. If a girl does things like that she's considered a whore, desperate, or thirsty. That's why I stopped trying to get my feelings across to guys. I'm not interested in dating anyone right now, that's not the problem. But what does bother me is knowing I'm ugly, and that it just makes finding someone that much harder. My parents and sister say all the time I'll stop believing I'm ugly when my spouse tells me I'm pretty one day, but they don't get that it's been so deeply engraved in my mind that I am ugly no one saying otherwise will ever change that I feel that way about myself.
I share the same mentality in the fact that I'm often not sure if I have enough to offer someone who truly deserves something special. At th… moree same time, I know the right person is out there for me. It can be difficult for us to have faith in ourselves when we have so little to lean on in terms of experience.
And yes, I'm American. I more or less agree with your perceptions on society. It honestly seems like some people have a boyfriend/ girlfriend for the sake of having one. And if you don't have one, some people see that as odd. It is honestly to the point where my friends don't even poke fun at me anymore. My family doesn't either. They seriously think I may end up being alone forever (and I might, who knows).
As far as rejection goes... I may be in an even worse state of affairs simply because I have never been rejected. This is because I have never even given anyone the opportunity to reject me... even when I have been interested in… [view original content]
I hope I didn't offend you. But, really, try some dating websites. When I was on those, I saw people of ALL ages looking. From 17 to 65. We're not alone in being single y'know?
No worries, I wouldn't get offended by friendly advice.
For some reason I've never really given much thought to it. My cousin actually met his fiance through online dating (have to go to the wedding in two weeks actually), so I know its definitely something that can work out. Not sure if I'll ever try it though.
Maybe then that's a good thing. I can recognize when I like someone, if I'm not the right one for them and I want them to be happy with some… moreone else, I'll gladly let them go. Wanting whats best for someone else when it comes to love I think is one of the most selfless things we can do for someone.
I agree, in high school it was all about having one for the sake of having one. In college people just look at my like I'm crazy when I saw I've never dated anyone. They get really weirded out when I tell them I've never even kissed someone.
You're far too young to be thinking that you'll be alone forever my friend. It's far too early for your family to be thinking that. Maybe it's because they know you've never made that first move, so, they think maybe you're just not interested in dating. I don't know, I hope I didn't offend you. But, really, try some dating websites. When I was on those, I saw people of ALL ages looking. From 17 to 65. We'… [view original content]
Here's another thing: If a woman looks at a man's crotch, it's considered flirting. If a man looks at a woman's breasts, it's considered sexual harassment. If a women hits a man, people assume that the man insulted her. If a man hits a woman, it's considered abuse. I'm for gender equality, but not for superiority of any group of people.
You think sexism doesn't still exist? You think there aren't still issues facing women that don't face men (albeit, there are issues facing men which don't face women, but it isn't 50/50 - both need to be addressed)? You think gender roles aren't heavily enforced and that the value society places on those roles are equal?
Was it ever possible for those people in the class to be mostly socially awkward?
I haven't done much research into this, but I know that if I was offered a class on how to date, and if my parents were okay with high school dating, I would sign up in a heartbeat. I have anxiety disorder, Asperger's syndrome, ADHD... that equates to not knowing how to handle myself around other people, much less a dating relationship.
I often scare potential relationships away because I get to emotionally deep and trusting of people to fast. I don't know how to handle myself.
Was it ever possible for those people in the class to be mostly socially awkward?
I haven't done much research into this, but I know that… more if I was offered a class on how to date, and if my parents were okay with high school dating, I would sign up in a heartbeat. I have anxiety disorder, Asperger's syndrome, ADHD... that equates to not knowing how to handle myself around other people, much less a dating relationship.
I often scare potential relationships away because I get to emotionally deep and trusting of people to fast. I don't know how to handle myself.
I don't see it like that at all. It's no secret that often the biggest mystery to men is in fact women. They don't always understand what it is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore. There's been an increase of "hook up" culture in the last 10-15 years or so, and many people don't date to find out if this is the person they want to marry, they date to have fun. All I see lately is "wham, bam, thank you m'am/sir" from people my age. People don't take dating seriously anymore, and it has made it more difficult for both genders to find a significant other, and to find somebody they want to date.
And if you want to talk about sexism, the way you're speaking about men is pretty sexist. Sexism goes both ways.
Hollay, you're breaking my heart here.:( Being so hard on yourself isn't going to make you feel better, and if anyone deserves to be comfortable in their skin it's you. I think it's a good idea that you're focusing more on yourself lately, but that has to include thinking positively about yourself too or nothing will change. Trust me on this Hollay, when you start having a negative thought about yourself, nip it in the bud immediately and distract yourself with something else.If you don't you'll just be stuck in a paradox of negativity which isn't good for you at all. I've seen you Hollay, you are not ugly. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, you've done nothing to deserve that type of treatment.:(
I'm sorry, but even if I know I'm ugly, I'm still shallow enough to try and find someone I think is attractive. There's no denying that ever… moreyone is looking for someone physically attractive, and everyone thinks that different people are beautiful or that they're ugly, so it's like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But when you're just downright ugly, it's not that simple.
Also, I do smile, and I am nice to people, I just have always felt more comfortable talking to a woman than I ever have talking to a man. Like, when I'm in a group of people, I avoid talking to men because I always notice they flock to the most attractive girl in the group, so I don't speak to them. I notice a huge difference with guys when they're talking to a pretty girl, v. a girl like me. When guys talk to me it's like they're meh, I have to speak to this girl, gross. But when they get to talk to a pretty girl/someone they think is attractive, they instantly light… [view original content]
Is it that men are basically a bunch of horndogs and so they're the ones who would seek out help on trying to get somebody in the sack.
That's meeeeaaaaan!
I don't see it like that at all. It's no secret that often the biggest mystery to men is in fact women. They don't always understand what it… more is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore. There's been an increase of "hook up" culture in the last 10-15 years or so, and many people don't date to find out if this is the person they want to marry, they date to have fun. All I see lately is "wham, bam, thank you m'am/sir" from people my age. People don't take dating seriously anymore, and it has made it more difficult for both genders to find a significant other, and to find somebody they want to date.
And if you want to talk about sexism, the way you're speaking about men is pretty sexist. Sexism goes both ways.
Is it that men are basically a bunch of horndogs and so they're the ones who would seek out help on trying to get somebody in the sack.
That's meeeeaaaaan!
All people do these days is associate women with sex.As a result, any woman who pursues a relationship is viewed as slutty. It's really all about sex when you think about.
The question wasn't "Why those people are in this class?" it's "Why was the ratio of males to females in that class so skewed?" Anxiety disorders effect more women than men and women can be just as socially awkward as men can, so there has to be another cause of the disparity than just social awkwardness.
Was it ever possible for those people in the class to be mostly socially awkward?
I haven't done much research into this, but I know that… more if I was offered a class on how to date, and if my parents were okay with high school dating, I would sign up in a heartbeat. I have anxiety disorder, Asperger's syndrome, ADHD... that equates to not knowing how to handle myself around other people, much less a dating relationship.
I often scare potential relationships away because I get to emotionally deep and trusting of people to fast. I don't know how to handle myself.
I'm speaking a bit tongue-in-cheek when I say things like horndog; I'm basically pointing to a lot of people saying that men have a far higher sex drive than women (a lot of people not me would use evolutionary psychology and talk about the difference in energy investment in reproduction; whereas a lot of feminists would say [and I would tend to agree], is that while the male expression of sexuality is encourage, female sexuality is repressed, socially and subsequently psychologcially). That's one hypothesis that I keep hearing, and not necessarily my opinion (btw, I'm male too).
Though, honestly, that viewpoint might go into what you're saying actually. I'm not sure what you're referring to about what women want and what men want, but the general stereotype is that women want intimacy and an emotion connection whereas men are largely driven by the physical elements - I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to when you say "they don't always understand what it is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore."
I don't see it like that at all. It's no secret that often the biggest mystery to men is in fact women. They don't always understand what it… more is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore. There's been an increase of "hook up" culture in the last 10-15 years or so, and many people don't date to find out if this is the person they want to marry, they date to have fun. All I see lately is "wham, bam, thank you m'am/sir" from people my age. People don't take dating seriously anymore, and it has made it more difficult for both genders to find a significant other, and to find somebody they want to date.
And if you want to talk about sexism, the way you're speaking about men is pretty sexist. Sexism goes both ways.
is that while the male expression of sexuality is encourage, female sexuality is repressed, socially and subsequently psychologically
Where do you hear this information from?
I'm not sure what you're referring to about what women want and what men want, but the general stereotype is that women want intimacy and an emotion connection whereas men are largely driven by the physical elements
This is true to an extent, though not all. I think the issue is that society and media treats sex as a natural thing during dating relationships, treats it as a purely physical experience that is just for fun. I'd like to say that is not true: sex is not just a physical experience; it creates a social connection, emotional connection, and in some cases a spiritual connection with those of both genders. It is simply that both genders have different ways of coping with emotion, expression emotion, and hiding emotion. It is gender specific, but that isn't to say that men can't be as emotional as women, as I am a very emotional person. It also includes various factors with personality, childhood environment, current circumstance, etc.
Sex should be treated as something done in long-term circumstance at the least, not something done with someone for fun. A is because it is created to be a reproductive process and doing it for pure enjoyment, no matter how it is done, is playing with the devil. B is because of the connections it builds with the person. Bed hoppers, I believe, tend to be people who seek pleasure rather than connection, and women can be the same way. If one party has sex for pleasure and one for a connection, then there is nothing sprouting from that relationship, which is why sex during dating relationships so early is so dangerous: you have yet to know what one party wants out of the relationship.
A relationship ends in two ways: marriage or breakup.
I'm speaking a bit tongue-in-cheek when I say things like horndog; I'm basically pointing to a lot of people saying that men have a far high… moreer sex drive than women (a lot of people not me would use evolutionary psychology and talk about the difference in energy investment in reproduction; whereas a lot of feminists would say [and I would tend to agree], is that while the male expression of sexuality is encourage, female sexuality is repressed, socially and subsequently psychologcially). That's one hypothesis that I keep hearing, and not necessarily my opinion (btw, I'm male too).
Though, honestly, that viewpoint might go into what you're saying actually. I'm not sure what you're referring to about what women want and what men want, but the general stereotype is that women want intimacy and an emotion connection whereas men are largely driven by the physical elements - I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to when you say "they don't… [view original content]
You are not a loser, let me tell you something about women. If you don't believe in yourself, you will never get a woman. Anyone can get a woman, its not hard and your a smart guy so just believe in yourself. There was a guy that i know was shot in the face with a shotgun, and he got a girlfriend. So be optimistic.
All you need is a Facebook/ some sort of online web dating service, i tend to use Christian Mingle myself, because i got a std from a girl on Match. Write yourself your perfect flirt message, then copy/paste it to every girl that tickles your fancy, eventually you will get that date. Target girls in their late 20s. In my opinion that is the perfect dating age, like 26. Dating anyone under 21, you might as well call it babysitting.
I have to say bro, i give you credit on taking such a class, i have my problems like everyone else, but it takes real courage to put yourself out there like that.
Thanks Pal! But sadly It doesn't matter how 'awesome' I am, lol, if I won't put out a man isn't gonna wanna waste his time with me.
Good for you, i respect a girl that waits.
About a month ago i went out with a girl on a first date, went to the movies. After the movies it was "fury" btw, I'm driving on the highway and she starts grabbing my junk. Listen, I'm not the kind of guy who doesn't like, something however we just met, literally 3 hours ago. It was a huge turnoff, for some reason i couldn't get the song Superman out of my mind.
Hollay, you're breaking my heart here.:( Being so hard on yourself isn't going to make you feel better, and if anyone deserves to be comfort… moreable in their skin it's you. I think it's a good idea that you're focusing more on yourself lately, but that has to include thinking positively about yourself too or nothing will change. Trust me on this Hollay, when you start having a negative thought about yourself, nip it in the bud immediately and distract yourself with something else.If you don't you'll just be stuck in a paradox of negativity which isn't good for you at all. I've seen you Hollay, you are not ugly. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, you've done nothing to deserve that type of treatment.:(
It's not about being mean. If you are going to accuse men of being sexist, then you must also be aware of what sexist things women say about men. OP made some pretty stereotypical assumptions over a class having more men than women, that's all I'm pointing out.
Is it that men are basically a bunch of horndogs and so they're the ones who would seek out help on trying to get somebody in the sack.
That's meeeeaaaaan!
What I'm saying is that men are very physical beings, this doesn't automatically mean having sexual relations, but that they aren't mind readers. In my experience in dating, you often have to be blunt with them about what it is you're looking for in a relationship. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, because honestly, being a girl, I know that I can be pretty damn complicated and hard to read at times. When I say dating isn't the same anymore, what I'm saying is that it isn't taken as seriously. People start dating because they think a girl/boy is hot, want to have sex, or just for the sake of having a boyfriend/girlfriend nowadays. For me, dating is not something to be taken lightly. I believe you should get to know someone as a friend first, and then when you are sure that you like this person for more than their looks, then you start to date. Dating is to see if this person is marriage material, and if they don't want that out of a relationship with you, then you end it. That's how I was raised to view dating at least.
I'm speaking a bit tongue-in-cheek when I say things like horndog; I'm basically pointing to a lot of people saying that men have a far high… moreer sex drive than women (a lot of people not me would use evolutionary psychology and talk about the difference in energy investment in reproduction; whereas a lot of feminists would say [and I would tend to agree], is that while the male expression of sexuality is encourage, female sexuality is repressed, socially and subsequently psychologcially). That's one hypothesis that I keep hearing, and not necessarily my opinion (btw, I'm male too).
Though, honestly, that viewpoint might go into what you're saying actually. I'm not sure what you're referring to about what women want and what men want, but the general stereotype is that women want intimacy and an emotion connection whereas men are largely driven by the physical elements - I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to when you say "they don't… [view original content]
It's not about being mean. If you are going to accuse men of being sexist, then you must also be aware of what sexist things women say about… more men. OP made some pretty stereotypical assumptions over a class having more men than women, that's all I'm pointing out.
Thanks man, I've heard mixed things that guys don't want a naive chick, that they want well versed hoes down for anything. -__- But I know a few guys who have really respected my decision to wait, so I know not every guy wants a girl who's DTF on the first date. Honestly, I've had a lot of guys lose interest after I said I don't put out, like, I'm saving myself for my husband, it's not a religious thing, despite me being spiritual. I just know in this day and age, it's totally accepted and even expected that people do stuff before marriage, and more people kinda look for hookups over real solid connections. Which I don't care if people hookup, it's whatever IMO.
See, that's exactly what I mean! I can't tell you how many guys I've talked to and they were expecting me to be that kinda chick right there! Like one dude asked me to come over to his house after I posted a profile picture once, he was like, oh yeah we can just watch some movies or do something at my house. When I asked him why we couldn't just go out to the movies, he was like, c'mon, it's just cheaper to come over to my place. (Which yeah movies are expensive, but I hadn't talked to this dude in like 3 years, like he really wanted to just 'watch a movie', Sure dude. -_-)
Thanks Pal! But sadly It doesn't matter how 'awesome' I am, lol, if I won't put out a man isn't gonna wanna waste his time with me.
… more Good for you, i respect a girl that waits.
About a month ago i went out with a girl on a first date, went to the movies. After the movies it was "fury" btw, I'm driving on the highway and she starts grabbing my junk. Listen, I'm not the kind of guy who doesn't like, something however we just met, literally 3 hours ago. It was a huge turnoff, for some reason i couldn't get the song Superman out of my mind.
Sorry girlfran... :< I don't talk about it much cause it makes me depressed too... but I've just been on a poor pitiful me kick lately.. I need to stop before it gets any worse.
I've cried more in my life over my physical appearance than I have about anything else. -__- I don't really know how to make it stop, I have such crippling social anxiety now I don't even look people in the eyes anymore because I'm so terrified of the judgement their pouring down upon me. :< I guess these thoughts I have about myself are so deeply rooted into my psyche that I can't get rid of them now. They'll never go away. Even if I was in a room full of people, with everyone telling me that I'm pretty or I'm not ugly, I still can't believe it, I seriously can't believe that I'm not ugly. I've been told I'm ugly way more times than I'm pretty, and statistically that answers that question about what I really am.
Hollay, you're breaking my heart here.:( Being so hard on yourself isn't going to make you feel better, and if anyone deserves to be comfort… moreable in their skin it's you. I think it's a good idea that you're focusing more on yourself lately, but that has to include thinking positively about yourself too or nothing will change. Trust me on this Hollay, when you start having a negative thought about yourself, nip it in the bud immediately and distract yourself with something else.If you don't you'll just be stuck in a paradox of negativity which isn't good for you at all. I've seen you Hollay, you are not ugly. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, you've done nothing to deserve that type of treatment.:(
I tend to have anxiety too, more so paranoia about the people around me, or just not knowing what's going to happen more than anything else. What I've found has helped is going to the gym a lot, and cutting down on sugar/unhealthy food. I know it's the stereotypical thing to tell people who are sad/unhappy to get more exercise and eat better, but it honest to God works. The type of people who take pleasure in telling others they're ugly, or aren't not good enough, are the ugliest of them all. They aren't worth the tears, they aren't worth anything. I'm so sorry to hear that such assholes have been present in your life.
Sorry girlfran... :< I don't talk about it much cause it makes me depressed too... but I've just been on a poor pitiful me kick lately.. … moreI need to stop before it gets any worse.
I've cried more in my life over my physical appearance than I have about anything else. -__- I don't really know how to make it stop, I have such crippling social anxiety now I don't even look people in the eyes anymore because I'm so terrified of the judgement their pouring down upon me. :< I guess these thoughts I have about myself are so deeply rooted into my psyche that I can't get rid of them now. They'll never go away. Even if I was in a room full of people, with everyone telling me that I'm pretty or I'm not ugly, I still can't believe it, I seriously can't believe that I'm not ugly. I've been told I'm ugly way more times than I'm pretty, and statistically that answers that question about what I really am.
Before y'all diss the hook-up culture too much....
There's another danger out there, and that's getting into a long-term relationship too soon. That might be an "Oops, pregnant, guess we have to get married" scenario, or just a belief that you're not thrilled with this person but don't think you deserve any better, so might as well.
Then a few years go by, and you see society still pushing sex, sex, sex, and you never got to do much, so you begin to think you missed out.
I've seen this situation blow many couples apart, where those who had gotten a bit more experience before deciding on The One are more confident that they know what's out there and are in a pretty good spot themselves.
Not saying that means you should go have sex with anyone and everyone. There is some balance, of course. Sex can be dangerous and requires some responsibility, or you wind up in that Oops Pregnant spot. And you have to make sure your expectations are in sync. I'm just saying you don't have to feel bad if the other person's interesting and fun but you know it's not going to progress to marriage.
Just throwing that out there. Good thing Telltale got rid of the thumbs down button.
I tried Christian Mingle and Match as well, I got a bunch of weird guys on Christian Mingle and a bunch of old horny dudes on Match. XD That's why I'm done with internet dating/chatting.
I'm pretty much a loser
You are not a loser, let me tell you something about women. If you don't believe in yourself, you will nev… moreer get a woman. Anyone can get a woman, its not hard and your a smart guy so just believe in yourself. There was a guy that i know was shot in the face with a shotgun, and he got a girlfriend. So be optimistic.
All you need is a Facebook/ some sort of online web dating service, i tend to use Christian Mingle myself, because i got a std from a girl on Match. Write yourself your perfect flirt message, then copy/paste it to every girl that tickles your fancy, eventually you will get that date. Target girls in their late 20s. In my opinion that is the perfect dating age, like 26. Dating anyone under 21, you might as well call it babysitting.
I have to say bro, i give you credit on taking such a class, i have my problems like everyone else, but it takes real courage to put yourself out there like that.
I get what you mean about the working out. And yeah, it does help with happy endorphin's and stuff. But my problem with losing some weight is that I would be absolutely heart broken if a man suddenly noticed me after losing weight. It would just further reinforce to me that physical appearance is all that matters. I'd rather meet my spouse as I am now, rather than meet him after I've lost all my weight and just suddenly feel sexy. It would be like, you are only good to me hot and skinny, so as soon as you get fat I'm out.
Well, it's not like they just came up to me and said I was ugly, it usually happens when me and a close guy friend are talking about dating and they ask me why I'm still single, and I say that I feel fat and ugly. One of my friends once told me, "Oh, I've seen uglier girls than you get a boyfriend before." That was the nail in the coffin that did me in and made me realize it was really true. :<
I tend to have anxiety too, more so paranoia about the people around me, or just not knowing what's going to happen more than anything else.… more What I've found has helped is going to the gym a lot, and cutting down on sugar/unhealthy food. I know it's the stereotypical thing to tell people who are sad/unhappy to get more exercise and eat better, but it honest to God works. The type of people who take pleasure in telling others they're ugly, or aren't not good enough, are the ugliest of them all. They aren't worth the tears, they aren't worth anything. I'm so sorry to hear that such assholes have been present in your life.
I've always been told that men are attracted to self confidence, when you feel good about yourself, it's like they can sense it. And yeah, I can't discredit that there are men who only look out the outside before the inside, but there are plenty of men who do the opposite. I only suggest working out/eating better for you and your happiness, a man is second priority as far as I'm concerned. That is such a callous thing to say to a friend, I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone.
I get what you mean about the working out. And yeah, it does help with happy endorphin's and stuff. But my problem with losing some weight i… mores that I would be absolutely heart broken if a man suddenly noticed me after losing weight. It would just further reinforce to me that physical appearance is all that matters. I'd rather meet my spouse as I am now, rather than meet him after I've lost all my weight and just suddenly feel sexy. It would be like, you are only good to me hot and skinny, so as soon as you get fat I'm out.
Well, it's not like they just came up to me and said I was ugly, it usually happens when me and a close guy friend are talking about dating and they ask me why I'm still single, and I say that I feel fat and ugly. One of my friends once told me, "Oh, I've seen uglier girls than you get a boyfriend before." That was the nail in the coffin that did me in and made me realize it was really true. :<
I'm pretty much a loser
You are not a loser, let me tell you something about women. If you don't believe in yourself, you will nev… moreer get a woman. Anyone can get a woman, its not hard and your a smart guy so just believe in yourself. There was a guy that i know was shot in the face with a shotgun, and he got a girlfriend. So be optimistic.
All you need is a Facebook/ some sort of online web dating service, i tend to use Christian Mingle myself, because i got a std from a girl on Match. Write yourself your perfect flirt message, then copy/paste it to every girl that tickles your fancy, eventually you will get that date. Target girls in their late 20s. In my opinion that is the perfect dating age, like 26. Dating anyone under 21, you might as well call it babysitting.
I have to say bro, i give you credit on taking such a class, i have my problems like everyone else, but it takes real courage to put yourself out there like that.
Sex during a dating relationship is way to dangerous. A lot of high schoolers date, you know, and lets be honest; not a lot of high school students know how to treat those things properly, because frankly they aren't mature enough to.
It is BECAUSE society is all about sex is why relationships fall apart. I have a friend, a Christian friend, who in the past had sex with three people. Now? He is just an empty shell with no hope. He feels dirty, sick, like a failure. It left him as a heap of depression, all because he had so much influencing forces. He grew up in a Christian home too, which looked down upon such things. Hook-up culture is NOT HEALTHY in any relationship at all. I have seen dating relationships where sex was common, and when one partner wasn't in the mood for sex or simply didn't want to do sex for an amount of time, it completely tore down their relationship... why? Because the pillar keeping them up was pure physical, focused on pleasure. Because the constant physical pleasure was no longer wanted by one partner, the pillar fell, and so did the relationship. You don't need to have sex to decide whether or not he/she is the one. I sure didn't.
Plus, lets not forget all the women (and possibly men) who have been used by their partner just for pleasure and sex. They looked for a connection, and the partner just wanted the pleasure of using them as a ***bucket. That is the kind of distraught that comes from a culture that worships sex and casual hook-ups. What do you say to those people? Sex is a way to create a bond that is physical, social, emotional, spiritual, and so on. Sex is not a device to see who is the one. Sex is done with someone who IS the one, because it creates an environment of trust and bonding, or it should.
The woman who made my profile picture wrote this on one of the forums I visit:
"Culture and the media make sex look like it's the best thing in the world and should make you feel amazing. The real deal is not ANYTHING like that. Take it from a married woman: it's about 80% trust and sacrifice and 20% physical."
Before y'all diss the hook-up culture too much....
There's another danger out there, and that's getting into a long-term relationship too… more soon. That might be an "Oops, pregnant, guess we have to get married" scenario, or just a belief that you're not thrilled with this person but don't think you deserve any better, so might as well.
Then a few years go by, and you see society still pushing sex, sex, sex, and you never got to do much, so you begin to think you missed out.
I've seen this situation blow many couples apart, where those who had gotten a bit more experience before deciding on The One are more confident that they know what's out there and are in a pretty good spot themselves.
Not saying that means you should go have sex with anyone and everyone. There is some balance, of course. Sex can be dangerous and requires some responsibility, or you wind up in that Oops Pregnant spot. And you have to make sure your expectation… [view original content]
Comments
22 years of being perpetually single really say otherwise. -__- lol
I'm fine being single, but being ugly really takes a lot of fun out of life. Especially if you're a woman, when all that people really value at this age is looks.
That's what the corporations want you to think.
I think the real problem is the "don't talk to them ever unless I absolutely have to" part. If you could smile and be a little more outgoing, and most of all make guys feel important (guys love to feel important), that might get some things going. Though I wouldn't go for the all-out relationship right off, just try being friendly. Guys aren't mean to someone who's acting friendly, and if they are, you don't want to be friends with them anyway.
I'm sorry, but even if I know I'm ugly, I'm still shallow enough to try and find someone I think is attractive. There's no denying that everyone is looking for someone physically attractive, and everyone thinks that different people are beautiful or that they're ugly, so it's like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But when you're just downright ugly, it's not that simple.
Also, I do smile, and I am nice to people, I just have always felt more comfortable talking to a woman than I ever have talking to a man. Like, when I'm in a group of people, I avoid talking to men because I always notice they flock to the most attractive girl in the group, so I don't speak to them. I notice a huge difference with guys when they're talking to a pretty girl, v. a girl like me. When guys talk to me it's like they're meh, I have to speak to this girl, gross. But when they get to talk to a pretty girl/someone they think is attractive, they instantly light up and are hinged on every word that girl says. And when they make me feel like that, I will not 'make them feel important' when it's obvious they don't think I am because of the obvious difference in how they treat me v. the pretty girl.
Now, I will go on to say is goes for both sexes, that yes, we do treat more attractive people differently than normal or ugly people, so I don't mean to make it sound like I'm saying guys are solely obsessed with looks. It's just after observing how I'm treated in groups when guys are present really give it away to me that I'm not attractive in the slightest, so I try to shy away and get out of the conversation because simply being present around men now makes me nervous because all I can think is how that guy is thinking why is this ugly chick standing around here?
The way guys treated me in high school absolutely crushed my self-esteem and college hasn't helped, I've only noticed that guys talk to me when they need help with homework or something, other than that it's never anything else a guy will speak to me for.
The good ones are rare... so that'll make it all the more sweet when you finally find the right guy.
I honestly do feel like there are good guys floating around.. though they get passed up for a variety of reasons. I don't know if I would qualify myself as a "good guy", but I am 20 years old and have never been in a relationship. I don't chase after the people that I want.. even when I really want to. I'm starting to think that may be a problem.
I'm not looking for the perfect guy, not even close. I'm not perfect, I'll be the first to tell you that. And there are very few 'good guys' just as there a very few 'good girls'. I don't consider myself a good girl, so I don't deserve a good guy, they deserve someone better.
People are still very shallow, we're a society obsessed with physical appearance, (Idk if you're an American, but in American it's pretty much the #1 obsession of people our age) and we're all expecting and wanting our spouses to look like Hollywood actors/actresses or porn stars. LOL I'm guilty of this too, but I don't have ridiculously high expectations for my spouse.
Well, tbh, I think you're a good guy. You've always been nice from what I've seen, and I think being single for as long as we have really says a lot about our standards and who were are as people. We have had the chances to get someone, but we choose not to for various reasons.
I know it's hard, I've been rejected my whole life, but that's why you have to start being sneaky and methodical about it. It's easier to get a yes right off the bat with certain people, but we don't know who they are until they say yes. That's why I've found it's better to employ a lot of wingmans/wingwomans to help you determine if that person is single, or interested or not interested. Sometimes we have to be that calculating, and it saves us a lot of pain later on.
I share the same mentality in the fact that I'm often not sure if I have enough to offer someone who truly deserves something special. At the same time, I know the right person is out there for me. It can be difficult for us to have faith in ourselves when we have so little to lean on in terms of experience.
And yes, I'm American. I more or less agree with your perceptions on society. It honestly seems like some people have a boyfriend/ girlfriend for the sake of having one. And if you don't have one, some people see that as odd. It is honestly to the point where my friends don't even poke fun at me anymore. My family doesn't either. They seriously think I may end up being alone forever (and I might, who knows).
As far as rejection goes... I may be in an even worse state of affairs simply because I have never been rejected. This is because I have never even given anyone the opportunity to reject me... even when I have been interested in someone. Like you said before, its often the guy that is expected to make the first move. I guess I have to work on that. I mean... I know that sounds really pathetic, but it's just the way it is with me unfortunately. Waiting around for that perfect person is all part of it as well.
Wow, what a picture. You're certainly a good writer, anyway! Sorry I couldn't help.
Maybe then that's a good thing. I can recognize when I like someone, if I'm not the right one for them and I want them to be happy with someone else, I'll gladly let them go. Wanting whats best for someone else when it comes to love I think is one of the most selfless things we can do for someone.
I agree, in high school it was all about having one for the sake of having one. In college people just look at my like I'm crazy when I saw I've never dated anyone. They get really weirded out when I tell them I've never even kissed someone.
You're far too young to be thinking that you'll be alone forever my friend. It's far too early for your family to be thinking that. Maybe it's because they know you've never made that first move, so, they think maybe you're just not interested in dating. I don't know, I hope I didn't offend you. But, really, try some dating websites. When I was on those, I saw people of ALL ages looking. From 17 to 65. We're not alone in being single y'know?
You're not pathetic. You didn't want to get hurt, it's a legit fear.
What is pathetic is being a woman, and being rejected every time you put my heart on the line. If a girl does things like that she's considered a whore, desperate, or thirsty. That's why I stopped trying to get my feelings across to guys. I'm not interested in dating anyone right now, that's not the problem. But what does bother me is knowing I'm ugly, and that it just makes finding someone that much harder. My parents and sister say all the time I'll stop believing I'm ugly when my spouse tells me I'm pretty one day, but they don't get that it's been so deeply engraved in my mind that I am ugly no one saying otherwise will ever change that I feel that way about myself.
Sickening. This is a problem that has existed since medieval times and it's still happening!
No worries, I wouldn't get offended by friendly advice.
For some reason I've never really given much thought to it. My cousin actually met his fiance through online dating (have to go to the wedding in two weeks actually), so I know its definitely something that can work out. Not sure if I'll ever try it though.
Here's another thing: If a woman looks at a man's crotch, it's considered flirting. If a man looks at a woman's breasts, it's considered sexual harassment. If a women hits a man, people assume that the man insulted her. If a man hits a woman, it's considered abuse. I'm for gender equality, but not for superiority of any group of people.
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Sorry if that's harsh, but I'm angry.
You think sexism doesn't still exist? You think there aren't still issues facing women that don't face men (albeit, there are issues facing men which don't face women, but it isn't 50/50 - both need to be addressed)? You think gender roles aren't heavily enforced and that the value society places on those roles are equal?
Sure, tell me why women's rights are a joke?
Was it ever possible for those people in the class to be mostly socially awkward?
I haven't done much research into this, but I know that if I was offered a class on how to date, and if my parents were okay with high school dating, I would sign up in a heartbeat. I have anxiety disorder, Asperger's syndrome, ADHD... that equates to not knowing how to handle myself around other people, much less a dating relationship.
I often scare potential relationships away because I get to emotionally deep and trusting of people to fast. I don't know how to handle myself.
I tried to say the exact same thing but all got was "You dont know that".
It HAS to be sexism.
I don't see it like that at all. It's no secret that often the biggest mystery to men is in fact women. They don't always understand what it is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore. There's been an increase of "hook up" culture in the last 10-15 years or so, and many people don't date to find out if this is the person they want to marry, they date to have fun. All I see lately is "wham, bam, thank you m'am/sir" from people my age. People don't take dating seriously anymore, and it has made it more difficult for both genders to find a significant other, and to find somebody they want to date.
And if you want to talk about sexism, the way you're speaking about men is pretty sexist. Sexism goes both ways.
Hollay, you're breaking my heart here.:( Being so hard on yourself isn't going to make you feel better, and if anyone deserves to be comfortable in their skin it's you. I think it's a good idea that you're focusing more on yourself lately, but that has to include thinking positively about yourself too or nothing will change. Trust me on this Hollay, when you start having a negative thought about yourself, nip it in the bud immediately and distract yourself with something else.If you don't you'll just be stuck in a paradox of negativity which isn't good for you at all. I've seen you Hollay, you are not ugly. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, you've done nothing to deserve that type of treatment.:(
"Help, help! I'm being oppressed!"
"Bloody peasant!"
That's meeeeaaaaan!
Aaand it's gone.
"Help, help! I'm being oppressed!"
"Bloody peasant!"
Media basically worships sex.
The question wasn't "Why those people are in this class?" it's "Why was the ratio of males to females in that class so skewed?" Anxiety disorders effect more women than men and women can be just as socially awkward as men can, so there has to be another cause of the disparity than just social awkwardness.
I'm speaking a bit tongue-in-cheek when I say things like horndog; I'm basically pointing to a lot of people saying that men have a far higher sex drive than women (a lot of people not me would use evolutionary psychology and talk about the difference in energy investment in reproduction; whereas a lot of feminists would say [and I would tend to agree], is that while the male expression of sexuality is encourage, female sexuality is repressed, socially and subsequently psychologcially). That's one hypothesis that I keep hearing, and not necessarily my opinion (btw, I'm male too).
Though, honestly, that viewpoint might go into what you're saying actually. I'm not sure what you're referring to about what women want and what men want, but the general stereotype is that women want intimacy and an emotion connection whereas men are largely driven by the physical elements - I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to when you say "they don't always understand what it is we want, and it doesn't help that dating isn't what it used to be anymore."
Where do you hear this information from?
This is true to an extent, though not all. I think the issue is that society and media treats sex as a natural thing during dating relationships, treats it as a purely physical experience that is just for fun. I'd like to say that is not true: sex is not just a physical experience; it creates a social connection, emotional connection, and in some cases a spiritual connection with those of both genders. It is simply that both genders have different ways of coping with emotion, expression emotion, and hiding emotion. It is gender specific, but that isn't to say that men can't be as emotional as women, as I am a very emotional person. It also includes various factors with personality, childhood environment, current circumstance, etc.
Sex should be treated as something done in long-term circumstance at the least, not something done with someone for fun. A is because it is created to be a reproductive process and doing it for pure enjoyment, no matter how it is done, is playing with the devil. B is because of the connections it builds with the person. Bed hoppers, I believe, tend to be people who seek pleasure rather than connection, and women can be the same way. If one party has sex for pleasure and one for a connection, then there is nothing sprouting from that relationship, which is why sex during dating relationships so early is so dangerous: you have yet to know what one party wants out of the relationship.
A relationship ends in two ways: marriage or breakup.
You are not a loser, let me tell you something about women. If you don't believe in yourself, you will never get a woman. Anyone can get a woman, its not hard and your a smart guy so just believe in yourself. There was a guy that i know was shot in the face with a shotgun, and he got a girlfriend. So be optimistic.
All you need is a Facebook/ some sort of online web dating service, i tend to use Christian Mingle myself, because i got a std from a girl on Match. Write yourself your perfect flirt message, then copy/paste it to every girl that tickles your fancy, eventually you will get that date. Target girls in their late 20s. In my opinion that is the perfect dating age, like 26. Dating anyone under 21, you might as well call it babysitting.
I have to say bro, i give you credit on taking such a class, i have my problems like everyone else, but it takes real courage to put yourself out there like that.
Good for you, i respect a girl that waits.
About a month ago i went out with a girl on a first date, went to the movies. After the movies it was "fury" btw, I'm driving on the highway and she starts grabbing my junk. Listen, I'm not the kind of guy who doesn't like, something however we just met, literally 3 hours ago. It was a huge turnoff, for some reason i couldn't get the song Superman out of my mind.
This thread is very sad.
It's not about being mean. If you are going to accuse men of being sexist, then you must also be aware of what sexist things women say about men. OP made some pretty stereotypical assumptions over a class having more men than women, that's all I'm pointing out.
What I'm saying is that men are very physical beings, this doesn't automatically mean having sexual relations, but that they aren't mind readers. In my experience in dating, you often have to be blunt with them about what it is you're looking for in a relationship. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, because honestly, being a girl, I know that I can be pretty damn complicated and hard to read at times. When I say dating isn't the same anymore, what I'm saying is that it isn't taken as seriously. People start dating because they think a girl/boy is hot, want to have sex, or just for the sake of having a boyfriend/girlfriend nowadays. For me, dating is not something to be taken lightly. I believe you should get to know someone as a friend first, and then when you are sure that you like this person for more than their looks, then you start to date. Dating is to see if this person is marriage material, and if they don't want that out of a relationship with you, then you end it. That's how I was raised to view dating at least.
Agreed.
Thanks man, I've heard mixed things that guys don't want a naive chick, that they want well versed hoes down for anything. -__- But I know a few guys who have really respected my decision to wait, so I know not every guy wants a girl who's DTF on the first date. Honestly, I've had a lot of guys lose interest after I said I don't put out, like, I'm saving myself for my husband, it's not a religious thing, despite me being spiritual. I just know in this day and age, it's totally accepted and even expected that people do stuff before marriage, and more people kinda look for hookups over real solid connections. Which I don't care if people hookup, it's whatever IMO.
See, that's exactly what I mean! I can't tell you how many guys I've talked to and they were expecting me to be that kinda chick right there! Like one dude asked me to come over to his house after I posted a profile picture once, he was like, oh yeah we can just watch some movies or do something at my house. When I asked him why we couldn't just go out to the movies, he was like, c'mon, it's just cheaper to come over to my place. (Which yeah movies are expensive, but I hadn't talked to this dude in like 3 years, like he really wanted to just 'watch a movie', Sure dude. -_-)
Sorry girlfran... :< I don't talk about it much cause it makes me depressed too... but I've just been on a poor pitiful me kick lately.. I need to stop before it gets any worse.
I've cried more in my life over my physical appearance than I have about anything else. -__- I don't really know how to make it stop, I have such crippling social anxiety now I don't even look people in the eyes anymore because I'm so terrified of the judgement their pouring down upon me. :< I guess these thoughts I have about myself are so deeply rooted into my psyche that I can't get rid of them now. They'll never go away. Even if I was in a room full of people, with everyone telling me that I'm pretty or I'm not ugly, I still can't believe it, I seriously can't believe that I'm not ugly. I've been told I'm ugly way more times than I'm pretty, and statistically that answers that question about what I really am.
I tend to have anxiety too, more so paranoia about the people around me, or just not knowing what's going to happen more than anything else. What I've found has helped is going to the gym a lot, and cutting down on sugar/unhealthy food. I know it's the stereotypical thing to tell people who are sad/unhappy to get more exercise and eat better, but it honest to God works. The type of people who take pleasure in telling others they're ugly, or aren't not good enough, are the ugliest of them all. They aren't worth the tears, they aren't worth anything. I'm so sorry to hear that such assholes have been present in your life.
Before y'all diss the hook-up culture too much....
There's another danger out there, and that's getting into a long-term relationship too soon. That might be an "Oops, pregnant, guess we have to get married" scenario, or just a belief that you're not thrilled with this person but don't think you deserve any better, so might as well.
Then a few years go by, and you see society still pushing sex, sex, sex, and you never got to do much, so you begin to think you missed out.
I've seen this situation blow many couples apart, where those who had gotten a bit more experience before deciding on The One are more confident that they know what's out there and are in a pretty good spot themselves.
Not saying that means you should go have sex with anyone and everyone. There is some balance, of course. Sex can be dangerous and requires some responsibility, or you wind up in that Oops Pregnant spot. And you have to make sure your expectations are in sync. I'm just saying you don't have to feel bad if the other person's interesting and fun but you know it's not going to progress to marriage.
Just throwing that out there. Good thing Telltale got rid of the thumbs down button.
I tried Christian Mingle and Match as well, I got a bunch of weird guys on Christian Mingle and a bunch of old horny dudes on Match. XD That's why I'm done with internet dating/chatting.
I get what you mean about the working out. And yeah, it does help with happy endorphin's and stuff. But my problem with losing some weight is that I would be absolutely heart broken if a man suddenly noticed me after losing weight. It would just further reinforce to me that physical appearance is all that matters. I'd rather meet my spouse as I am now, rather than meet him after I've lost all my weight and just suddenly feel sexy. It would be like, you are only good to me hot and skinny, so as soon as you get fat I'm out.
Well, it's not like they just came up to me and said I was ugly, it usually happens when me and a close guy friend are talking about dating and they ask me why I'm still single, and I say that I feel fat and ugly. One of my friends once told me, "Oh, I've seen uglier girls than you get a boyfriend before." That was the nail in the coffin that did me in and made me realize it was really true. :<
I've always been told that men are attracted to self confidence, when you feel good about yourself, it's like they can sense it. And yeah, I can't discredit that there are men who only look out the outside before the inside, but there are plenty of men who do the opposite. I only suggest working out/eating better for you and your happiness, a man is second priority as far as I'm concerned. That is such a callous thing to say to a friend, I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone.
I'm 20.
Edit: Never mind, I'm over it.
Sex during a dating relationship is way to dangerous. A lot of high schoolers date, you know, and lets be honest; not a lot of high school students know how to treat those things properly, because frankly they aren't mature enough to.
It is BECAUSE society is all about sex is why relationships fall apart. I have a friend, a Christian friend, who in the past had sex with three people. Now? He is just an empty shell with no hope. He feels dirty, sick, like a failure. It left him as a heap of depression, all because he had so much influencing forces. He grew up in a Christian home too, which looked down upon such things. Hook-up culture is NOT HEALTHY in any relationship at all. I have seen dating relationships where sex was common, and when one partner wasn't in the mood for sex or simply didn't want to do sex for an amount of time, it completely tore down their relationship... why? Because the pillar keeping them up was pure physical, focused on pleasure. Because the constant physical pleasure was no longer wanted by one partner, the pillar fell, and so did the relationship. You don't need to have sex to decide whether or not he/she is the one. I sure didn't.
Plus, lets not forget all the women (and possibly men) who have been used by their partner just for pleasure and sex. They looked for a connection, and the partner just wanted the pleasure of using them as a ***bucket. That is the kind of distraught that comes from a culture that worships sex and casual hook-ups. What do you say to those people? Sex is a way to create a bond that is physical, social, emotional, spiritual, and so on. Sex is not a device to see who is the one. Sex is done with someone who IS the one, because it creates an environment of trust and bonding, or it should.
The woman who made my profile picture wrote this on one of the forums I visit: