I think a quick jaunt, conveniently timed, across the train tracks is a sure fire way, as long as you don't do it at a station. Yeah, I don't think I could slice my wrist, it pretty much goes against your survival instinct. I've managed to overcome it a little by punching myself in the face, hard enough to bruise. Baby steps I guess.
Exactly, I never know. It could get infinitely worse. And I don't care about the future, all I can see it right now and my past, and both are miserable as hell. I cant put up with it much longer, up with which I will not put. Its driving me insane.
I don't need to reiterate what others are saying, but don't do it. It doesn't accomplish anything and it causes so much pain. This is coming… more from someone who has attempted a few years back (such a cowardly thing, I'm ashamed of it) and has lost their cousin to it.
You also seem a bit naive about suicide methods. You seek the least pain, and prefer a way for your body not to be found. Jumping off of something is incredibly painful, not at all like how it is romanticized. You will break many bones in your body and almost everyone who is in the air regrets what they have done. If you survive, you will most likely be paralyzed for life. People will obviously find your body, which will be crippled and a bloody mess. If you think jumping off a bridge will lose you to the water, not always, There are people whose jobs are devoted to the sole purpose of clearing out bodies from popular suicide spots, and when they find them (depending on how long … [view original content]
It gives me headaches too, sometimes. No one wants you to do It so of course they won't give you methods, I would personally shoot myself but there's no guns in the UK.
I cry quite a bit, I hate it though. Its psychically painful, give you headaches. On Yahoo I just got the don't do it spiel. I can't find bloody anyone who will discuss methods with me properly.
It gives me headaches too, sometimes. No one wants you to do It so of course they won't give you methods, I would personally shoot myself but there's no guns in the UK.
I've been where you are now. The best thing to do is to seek the help that's available and utilize it. The darkness you feel can be treated so that you won't feel like that most of the time, and when you do, it's not as bad, so you can cope with it.
I've been having a hard time coping with all the abuse I had in the past, and because I didn't say anything about it when it happened, people don't believe that it happened to me. I lost all my real life friends, my sister insults me both behind my back and to my face, and I have serious medical problems on top of it (that people also don't believe that I have).
I've actually tried to commit suicide three times. I'm not at the point where I'd say I'm happy with my life, but I am at the point where I can handle my suicidal thoughts. I went to a therapist, who sent me to a psychiatrist, and she prescribed the medication I'm on now. It was tough for me to admit that I needed it, but talking with someone (which is hard for me as I don't socialize in real life well) and, especially getting the medication, actually helps a lot.
I just thought I'd write out the stuff that goes through my head, but typing is easier, and why not let people read my crap? I know no one cares, but it might be entertaining at least.
I wish I knew as a kid. I wish I was conscious of what was happening. How could I have not realised how damn wrong it was? It was just the norm, I thought that was just how it was. I didnt know any different. But how could I have not said anything, not done anything, how could I have not been conscious of how much of a problem it was.
I'm sick of this depression, this self loathing, this boredom and monotony that is life. Someone bought me an xbox game, and I'm so ungrateful and selfish as I'm too depressed to even play it, I can hardly concentrate. I shouldn't be letting people spend money on me and accepting things if I am too lazy to even use them.
Everything is just so bleak and boring. I think that's the worst bit, the boredom. There is no distraction from it. The only way I can pass the time is to do two things at once half heartedly, as I can't focus and concentrate on one thing at a time, its too boring.
I wish there was a way to erase any trace of my existence. I wish I wasn't so different to all the other kids when I was younger, I thought they all faked the happiness like me. Turns out it was real for them. I wish I could kill myself without the body ever being found. The best I can think of is too keep walking in dark creepy alleyways until I get murdered. Then the murderer would have the incentive to hide/destroy the body. I suppose I'd be dead so it wouldn't matter to me, as I'd have no conciousness.
I wish I knew what happiness even felt like, I don't think I've ever even had it. Life was crap and miserable as a kid, I couldn't even get enjoyment out of the things kids get enjoyment out of. My brain just didn't work right. I was always so cynical of others, so nasty to them, its no wonder I never had any proper friends. All the other kids probably hated me haha, fair enough I suppose.
I wish I had a happy family, that had fun together and enjoyed each others company. I wish I could have a childhood where I did all the normal kid things, had great parents who I could do fun stuff with like go play in the park, or whatever. I just wish I had fond memories to look back on, instead of all the bloody misery.
Now I'm 16, and I've realised how messed up my childhood was, I feel even more depressed. Now I see how wrong it all was, how could this have been fricking done to me, why was all this crap fricking done to me? What did I do? What the hell did I do, that made me deserve any of this?
Now is the time I should just move on and get on with my life, its pretty much all over now. I just can't do it. I'm this weird social pariah that will never fit in, I will never know how to properly act in normal situations. I mumble, flinch whenever anyone comes near me, I can barely look people on the eye and hold a damn conversation. I wish I could stop being so damn awkward, but it's all I've ever been. I don't know any different. I can fake confidence, but I'm getting worse at it, and I haven't spoken to anyone, other than on the internet, in ages so I've probably forgotten how to do it.
I left school because I was too depressed to do the work, I couldn't concentrate and I didn't really want to do any work anyway. I just don't care. I have no future goals, no jobs I'd like to do, I have no interests. I just dismyself from the boredom myself with video games I can hardly concentrate and play.
I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. It just comes to the point where dieing is just a bit less crappy than living. Its like "To be or not to be", the only thing keeping the miserable folk from offing themselves is the fear of the unknown, or rather, the dread of an eternal unconsciousness. I hate the idea of a forever unconsciousness, but its inevitable, and the only thing stopping me is the biological urge to survive. But humans now have the self awareness to overcome their biological urges, and do as they like, to an extent at least.
I can't be arsed to write anymore, I can barely think properly. If anyone cares to read this, hope it gave you a laugh. But nobody cares. Heck, I don't even really care about anything anymore, so why should anybody else.
I talk to myself when I'm alone, but I'm not alone so I thought I'd type it all out instead. Its usually just a rehash of the same stuff everyday, accompanied by a bit of crying. I'm nearly a grown man, and I still cry everyday. Pathetic I know, I get hurt by things was too easily. Anything anyone says to me makes me realise I am a despicable terrible human being, and I won't amount to a shitstain. And I hate that I'm so horrible, but I don't know what I can do. I am just so jealous and bitter.
I get so angry and pissed off at the slightest thing. For example if there's nothing nice to eat in the house, I feel a rage build up inside of me. If I do anything wrong in a video game, someone says something that I don't agree with, even slightly, on the internet I get into such a rage. I've even done some stuff when I get into these strange moods, like I'm full of nervous energy, and punched walls and my own face to release energy, constantly pacing, but it doesn't go away, it just builds up until I sleep it off.
Damn, I'm such an attention seeker for writing all this. Look at me, trying to make random people on the internet give me attention. I don't even want attention, but it feels like anything I ever do is me just trying to get attention. I need to remind myself, nobody cares. No one cares about the crap going on in the middle east and Africa, so why would I do deserve and care or attention? Just me being selfish again I suppose.
I feel like I'm going insane, but
"I don't mind it anymore"
"But you should, you should mind it"
"Oh I do, but I say I don't"
You should only live for others as much as you'd expect them to live for you.
I'm glad medication works for you. I'm hoping I will be able to find one that does, the one I'm on now doesn't do owt. I'm sorry that happened to you. Why did you fail three times? Did it just go wrong, or did you change your mind?
I've been where you are now. The best thing to do is to seek the help that's available and utilize it. The darkness you feel can be treate… mored so that you won't feel like that most of the time, and when you do, it's not as bad, so you can cope with it.
I've been having a hard time coping with all the abuse I had in the past, and because I didn't say anything about it when it happened, people don't believe that it happened to me. I lost all my real life friends, my sister insults me both behind my back and to my face, and I have serious medical problems on top of it (that people also don't believe that I have).
I've actually tried to commit suicide three times. I'm not at the point where I'd say I'm happy with my life, but I am at the point where I can handle my suicidal thoughts. I went to a therapist, who sent me to a psychiatrist, and she prescribed the medication I'm on now. It was tough for me to admit that I needed it, but talkin… [view original content]
The first time, it didn't go so well since my veins are deep. The second time, my mom stopped me as I tried to overdose on alcohol (as my heart stopped once before from an overdose of vodka). The third time, I changed my mind as I was about to jump from a bridge as realized it was mother's day, and I really didn't want my mom to get a call about me being dead on that day, of all days. I'm definitely ashamed that I tried to end my life, and I usually don't ever talk about it. But, sharing experiences actually does help, as no one is alone in anything. There's always someone who's been there before and has overcome the odds.
I had to go through three medications before I found what worked for me (which is actually a combination of an antidepressant and an anxiety medication). Definitely let your doctor know that it's not working (especially if you're still an adolescent as medication can sometimes increase your suicidal thoughts at that age). Everyone is different, so what works for some people won't work for others. You'll find one that works for you.
I'm glad medication works for you. I'm hoping I will be able to find one that does, the one I'm on now doesn't do owt. I'm sorry that happened to you. Why did you fail three times? Did it just go wrong, or did you change your mind?
why don't you make a blog and turn all your thoughts into a novel? Readers can relate to your situation and want to know more about you. Stop saying we don't care. Even if you were an attention seeker, we still support you. We at Tell Tale forums don't discriminate against anyone. I feel your pain because, I'm sorta in your shoes right now. I just hide my problems and keep to myself most of the time, and talk to my fam and forum. I don't need medication. All I do is isolate myself and be anti-social most of the time .
I just thought I'd write out the stuff that goes through my head, but typing is easier, and why not let people read my crap? I know no one c… moreares, but it might be entertaining at least.
I wish I knew as a kid. I wish I was conscious of what was happening. How could I have not realised how damn wrong it was? It was just the norm, I thought that was just how it was. I didnt know any different. But how could I have not said anything, not done anything, how could I have not been conscious of how much of a problem it was.
I'm sick of this depression, this self loathing, this boredom and monotony that is life. Someone bought me an xbox game, and I'm so ungrateful and selfish as I'm too depressed to even play it, I can hardly concentrate. I shouldn't be letting people spend money on me and accepting things if I am too lazy to even use them.
Everything is just so bleak and boring. I think that's the worst bit, the boredom. There is no distractio… [view original content]
I can't tell you not to commit suicide, because it's honestly not my place. And whatever choice you make, it's your choice, nobody elses. But I can ask you to please think long and hard before you consider it, and if you think there's no one out there who cares about you (if that's your situation) then I'll let you know that everyone on these forums cares about you and that if you want to PM me and talk, then you're welcome to. If you do take your own life, I won't think any less of you, but if you choose to stay then you are the most selfless and brave person I know and that we'll always be here for you.
I don't really have anything new to add to what the others have been saying. But I do have this. This site (http://blahtherapy.com/) lets you talk to a random, good-hearted person who's trying to help people with depression. I've been on there as a listener a few times. As someone who, ahem, doesn't exactly like himself very much, it made me feel like I'm a good person. So if you want to be needed and valued (like most people want), then you can be a listener and help others. And if you just want to vent, then you can do that, too. But seriously, please don't endorse suicide. I know things may seem crappy at the moment, but you never know how your life might turn out. You might end up causing a couple of people to avoid suicide. Innocent lives could be saved because of you. Trust me, it's completely possible. If you kill yourself, then those peoples' lives will be a lot darker. You know how painful that is, so live to make sure others don't have to suffer the same fate. I'm not that good at this, but I try.
Have you thought about making a blog regarding your thoughts? Maybe becoming an advocate for the depressed and showing people how painful it really is? You'd be doing a lot of good in the world just by trying.
This is a very difficult subject. My first tip would be give it awhile. 3 months at the very least. Think out all the pros and cons to it. Write down why it sounds like a good idea now, why it might not be a good idea, and work on changing why it sounds like a good idea. Usually suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. There are people who care about you, and if there aren't then you're looking in the wrong places. Life is already short, make the most of what you got!
If you're dead set on it then I would go with a large, damaging round to the head. 12 Guage for instance. It's hard to mess it up when there isn't anything left. It's bloody and gory so don't do this and leave it for the wrong person to find. That's just mean.
But again, don't do it compulsively. Think before you act, and if it still seems like the option you want to go with after doing so well...
PS. Ever want to talk in private just send me a PM.
Have you thought about making a blog regarding your thoughts? Maybe becoming an advocate for the depressed and showing people how painful it really is? You'd be doing a lot of good in the world just by trying.
As somebody said above, it's plenty possible to talk yourself into depression, and a lot of time that's key factor.
a) I'm talking from experience
b) consider the cognative approach to psychotherapy - there are a lot of things, such as automatic thoughts, irrational beliefs,
For instance, you mentioned somebody had bought you an x-box game, and you were too depressed to play it, and that made you selfish. Why is that selfish? Do you think you should be given more? That's not what it sounds like to me. Are you unthankful? It doesn't sound like that either. The other thing is, we always say 'don't be selfish,' or 'don't feel sorry for yourself' or those kinds of things - but sometimes you need to, and that's okay. Sometimes if you really need it, it's okay to be selfish. Sometimes it's okay to feel sorry for yourself.
It's hard to do it on a forum, but you talk about it at length with somebody, about all the little steps in these lines of thoughts, and why you come to certain negative conclusions and not other conclusions - is there a counselor or therapist you can talk to? I know I didn't until I was 18 because I know they'd have to report it to my parents and I was way too afraid. Two years sounds like a long time, but it isn't in the long run, and then you can find a professional without your parents knowing. Even now, and again, I don't know if this is a matter of a home situation, but I think at 16 you can be an emancipated minor. I don't know how British law works though. Plus life is going to have a lot of changes. I'm not saying it gets better, I don't know, it goes up and down, but going new places and having new experiences at least keeps it fresh and interesting, at least for me.
When you say the things that happened to you, are you talking about something your parents or someone you know have done? It may sound strange but - blame them, even if they're your parents, if you need to. They are still who they are and you can't change them. I'm not saying that in the sense of unconditional love or acceptance, I'm saying that in the sense of it's not your responsiblity to fix them. (again, I don't mean to assume that's the problem if it isn't) This is going to sound strange considering recent events, but one quote from Robin Williams really struck a chord with me "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
I'm not unfamiliar to suicidal thoughts, at my worst I had them nearly daily (though I never acted upon them), but I've been in therapy a while, and talking a lot about things, such as thought processes that cause me to spiral into depression, and I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a months. To be honest, I can't help on the lack of motivation or enjoyment; I've been having a lot of that for a while, and I really don't know how to get over it.
Also, it's kind of weird, but at least for me, watching really depressing movies or listening to depressing music actually makes me feel better, because it feels like understanding. If it only makes you more depressed, don't do it.
But the most important thing is talk. Talk to somebody who knows how to deal with depression and suicide - and in real time, in person or on the phone.
This is a very difficult subject. My first tip would be give it awhile. 3 months at the very least. Think out all the pros and cons to it. W… morerite down why it sounds like a good idea now, why it might not be a good idea, and work on changing why it sounds like a good idea. Usually suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. There are people who care about you, and if there aren't then you're looking in the wrong places. Life is already short, make the most of what you got!
If you're dead set on it then I would go with a large, damaging round to the head. 12 Guage for instance. It's hard to mess it up when there isn't anything left. It's bloody and gory so don't do this and leave it for the wrong person to find. That's just mean.
But again, don't do it compulsively. Think before you act, and if it still seems like the option you want to go with after doing so well...
PS. Ever want to talk in private just send me a PM.
Pretty much everyone took my words out of my mouth. I am glad you went to this forum to ask for help instead of trying to commit suicide. That's something...umm is there anything you like to do? You can always try to something new. Maybe you'll find something you enjoy and like. My old best friend was just like you but she really really wanted to died. She had to move she which she did not want to at all because she liked her old school. When she move to another school she found people who were like her too. She started smiling and I have not seen her sad side in a year. Even though we don't talk that much, I am really happy that she found happiness. Crazy things happen. You never know when your life might turn around. That's all I can say. You have a choice to follow what me or what the other comments sad. But don't hurt yourself....
I want to talk about it, hence randomly talking about it with people on the internet. It'd probably be too awkward in person, and they'd probably just be disgusted by me anyway.
I can't really blame anyone but myself. I think its much less likely its my parents who are the problem, I'm the problem to them. I selfishly drain their resources and am too lazy to do anything in return, they are right to not like me.
I listen to quite depressing music a lot, it does help, it verbalises how you are thinking I guess. I'm sorry you were depressed, I am glad things are better for you now.
As somebody said above, it's plenty possible to talk yourself into depression, and a lot of time that's key factor.
a) I'm talking from e… morexperience
b) consider the cognative approach to psychotherapy - there are a lot of things, such as automatic thoughts, irrational beliefs,
For instance, you mentioned somebody had bought you an x-box game, and you were too depressed to play it, and that made you selfish. Why is that selfish? Do you think you should be given more? That's not what it sounds like to me. Are you unthankful? It doesn't sound like that either. The other thing is, we always say 'don't be selfish,' or 'don't feel sorry for yourself' or those kinds of things - but sometimes you need to, and that's okay. Sometimes if you really need it, it's okay to be selfish. Sometimes it's okay to feel sorry for yourself.
It's hard to do it on a forum, but you talk about it at length with somebody, about all the little steps in these line… [view original content]
Don't do it, it's only going to make things worse for those very close to you. You may not realize it, but I KNOW there are those who care. I, for some reason, understand how you feel. How much it hurts. And it hurts SO bad. There were times... where even I thought about doing it. But that was in the past. When I was a kid I was always so cheerful, I had a father, a brother and a mother, but.... that was until when I was about 5, I learned the truth. Who I thought was my mother, was actually my sister, who had to fill in the role. My real mother died when I was 1 or 2, and I never knew a damn thing. I was so angry, upset, I felt cheated and was lied to! I was so bitter about it, still am(I'm 20 now) but not much. I forgave them for that, they only tried to protect me. Now... when I was in school, I was always the odd one, bullied, made fun of, manipulated, always doing the group's work. I was even betrayed by my best friend and others that we were friends to, I was left alone. Most of my life I've always been alone, even now. I like being alone but at the same time I don't want to. And when I was 14, someone VERY close to me died, my grandmother. When she died, I didn't feel much of anything. Everything felt so pointless, they still kinda do. Everything that kept happening, I had thoughts of either killing everyone or wanted to die. I didn't care much about anything, if I died then so be it. But... I had an old friend I thought had moved, come back, and ever since then things turned around. He's my new best friend, and because of him I was able to find joy again and made many new friends in school. But obviously most have moved since school's over, but I still see some.
You know, I also have others who are suicidal as well. One is my sister, she has suffered longer than me, and she one time held a knife at her chest, but I yanked it away. It's a complicated relationship but we still get along. An old friend (different one) was framed for rape and had everyone turn against him, except me. He was suicidal for a month or so. He's okay now though. But when he was suicidal, I... I kept trying, but he wouldn't stop, eventually... I just gave up on him. Looking back at it, I'm disgusted at myself. It's why I hate myself so much. Now.... there is someone precious to me, they're in a whole world of suffering, more than I possibly could imagine, who's also suicidal. This time, I promised myself I wouldn't give up on this one, I never will. A blunt yet valuable lesson I learned is this: Those who don't try to save others are scum. However... those who gives up on lives are even worse than scum.
Listen, you don't need to do this. It's not the way. I know your scared but there are people out there who can help you, that's one of the reasons why I believe one day people can truly understand each other. One's journey always has it's downsides, even it's an incredibly long one, but things usually turns out better. You've read what I've been through, and ever since here, I felt even more better than I have. Because you're able to meet wonderful people and be friends with them. No matter how far the distance is, people can still be friends with each other. And know there's a chance that there's at least a person where you live likes you but is too shy to confront you. There's always someone who will be watching over you. I'm know in time, life will get better, there's always at least one person who cares. Eventually there'll be something in time you'll want to protect as well. And I think we all just proved we all certainly cared. And crying is not weakness, it shows we're capable of feeling things. I hate crying too honestly, I hold it in, but it ain't all so bad once you let it out. Sometimes you can't always listen to your brain, as it likes to work against you, but your heart is what matters more. Your mind is telling you're a horrible person, but your heart says your someone with huge amount of pain who needs help. Right now your letting the world crush you under it's foot, but eventually you'll find the strength to lift it up and prove yourself, life has it's meaning. Believe me when I say I got quite the temper as well, it's weakness but eventually you'll be able to control it. Anyway, sometimes attention doesn't always have to be a bad thing, and if someone calls you an attention whore, then they're one themselves for making their presence known as well. That name calling is only a foolish childish act. Gaining self awareness has it's perks. Selfishness isn't always a bad thing, only if it's misused it is, but in this case it's not. Sometimes, selfishness and selflessness comes seldom hand-in-hand. But don't kill yourself, it's not the right answer. Do you really want to make others suffer by doing this? Do you really want your family to suffer more than it already has? Do you really believe that's the only solution to find peace? Don't give up on life, keep fighting back, find ways to make yourself happy. Suicide just means your willing to give up the possibility of actually being happy. The pain never goes away, you just make room for it by stuffing it with something positive. Don't let the pain determine your life, you're the one who can control how you want it to be, so you decide how you want to live. And you'll find out what you want to do in life!
They won't think you're disgusting. You do know there are even child molesters who go to therapists and the therapists still try to help them? I won't lie and say therapists won't have their own feelings to themselves (God knows I complex wonderng about what my therapist secretly thinks of me), but no matter what they are there with you, to help you.
Honestly, talking on a forum where it's constantly touch and go, not in real time, not able to dissect the ins and outs, really isn't going to help in the long run. It might feel good to get something off your chest temporarily, but it won't help at all for feeling better.
I can't emphasize how important it is to actually meet with somebody trained to help, face to face if possible. It probably will be awkward, but that's okay. It may be awkward for a while. That's okay too. But going and trying to work it out, face to face, I think is the really big step that you need to make. It's really hard, I know I spent a lot of time pacing in front of the clinic, debating to go in, but even just trying will feel like an accomplishment.
If you want to see a movie that I think portrays therapy really well, watch "The Woodsman." Kevin Bacon gets released from jail after having molested a child, and is trying to deal with getting back into society and trying to stay on the straight an narrow. Michael Shannon plays his therapist, and the interplay between the two is interesting to watch, and more importantly, I think, shows a lot of psychotherapy very well and accurately.
I want to talk about it, hence randomly talking about it with people on the internet. It'd probably be too awkward in person, and they'd pro… morebably just be disgusted by me anyway.
I can't really blame anyone but myself. I think its much less likely its my parents who are the problem, I'm the problem to them. I selfishly drain their resources and am too lazy to do anything in return, they are right to not like me.
I listen to quite depressing music a lot, it does help, it verbalises how you are thinking I guess. I'm sorry you were depressed, I am glad things are better for you now.
That does complicate things. Breaking the spinal cord is a quick and painless way to go. But you would need to do the research. Know your body weight, how much of a drop you need, rope preparation procedures and the like. If you do it wrong you end up choking, which isn't fun. Perhaps have something to cut the rope if it doesn't work correctly, because strangulation would be a horrible fate. Drowning isn't an option in my book. Jumping from heights may work, though I would be afraid of the circumstances that could arise.
The fact you're here talking to people about things other than specific ways to end you life seems to point towards the notion you don't want to kill yourself. You're looking for release, which is good. Finding all your options is a good place to start. You want to hear people discussing the idea with you, and I completely respect that. I've been in your shoes. I think most everyone has at one point in their life, to some degree. It's natural. The greatest advise I can give you is "Just do it." Cheesy, I know. Nike beat me to it. But whatever you want to do, do it. That's the philosophy I've been living by recently, and I love it and myself. Get up and do you. Go to college, learn how to program a new game, go to the beach and tell the most beautiful girl there she looks like a hippo. Don't judge yourself by how others judge you. (Though all of this may be specific to my past situation, I'm not sure.) That and ask for help. Talk to your parents before you do anything. If you're determined to end your life then what does it matter anyways? I have no doubt you're in for an awakening in the "No one cares about me" department. Seek professional help. Someone who knows what to do biochemically wise to help you.
Please don't... I kind of feel like I don't want to live right now either, but... It's just going to transfer the pain to someone else if you kill yourself, is that what you want?
Or add me on steam if you have one, it's the same name as here.. I'll talk to you if you want to talk to someone. Whatever it takes, I'll talk to you and help you. I can even send you some money if you want to buy antidepressants or anything.. I'm not kidding, I have some money laying around.
Right now I'm thinking a well timed quick jaunt across the train tracks is the way to go.There's no way I'm surviving that, and the body should hopefully get quite mushed up in the process.
I've been told so many times, to go out and do stuff, but I can barely get out of bed, I stay in for ages as I don't want another day to start. I try and do things, but I cannot get any enjoyment out of anything anymore. My brain won't let me.
Lol, I am honestly serious about no one caring. Why would I go to strangers on the internet if I had someone who cared? I've never had anyone.
That does complicate things. Breaking the spinal cord is a quick and painless way to go. But you would need to do the research. Know your bo… moredy weight, how much of a drop you need, rope preparation procedures and the like. If you do it wrong you end up choking, which isn't fun. Perhaps have something to cut the rope if it doesn't work correctly, because strangulation would be a horrible fate. Drowning isn't an option in my book. Jumping from heights may work, though I would be afraid of the circumstances that could arise.
The fact you're here talking to people about things other than specific ways to end you life seems to point towards the notion you don't want to kill yourself. You're looking for release, which is good. Finding all your options is a good place to start. You want to hear people discussing the idea with you, and I completely respect that. I've been in your shoes. I think most everyone has at one point in their life, to some … [view original content]
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you. I honestly don't get this you'll make others suffer argument. Literally, no one will suffer. Even if they did, their suffering would eventually end. And fuck it, if I can end my misery, I don't care if someone feels a little sad about it. I admit it.
Don't do it, it's only going to make things worse for those very close to you. You may not realize it, but I KNOW there are those who care. … moreI, for some reason, understand how you feel. How much it hurts. And it hurts SO bad. There were times... where even I thought about doing it. But that was in the past. When I was a kid I was always so cheerful, I had a father, a brother and a mother, but.... that was until when I was about 5, I learned the truth. Who I thought was my mother, was actually my sister, who had to fill in the role. My real mother died when I was 1 or 2, and I never knew a damn thing. I was so angry, upset, I felt cheated and was lied to! I was so bitter about it, still am(I'm 20 now) but not much. I forgave them for that, they only tried to protect me. Now... when I was in school, I was always the odd one, bullied, made fun of, manipulated, always doing the group's work. I was even betrayed by my best friend and others that we… [view original content]
The feeling you describe, of being bored but then being too depressed to do something about the boredom, is exactly the kind of thing medications are good at resolving. However, not all medications work for everyone, and some of them make it worse. You need to try something different before you give up on life.
Don't kill yourself by throwing yourself in front of a train. You'll ruin the driver's day, and if it's a passenger train, they'll be affected emotionally, too. It might push some of them over the edge. Don't do it.
Depression is not a choice, you can't just think one moment your life is complete shit and no one wants you then say "I'm not depressed" then be happy. If you truly think that then you are one of the most ignorant people I've met. You don't have control over when you suffer it just happens, I can't get rid of it and neither can sprocket. Mine is genetic and it mine starts from another mental problem I can't control. If people truly thought themselves into depression and could think themselves out then why do people still suffer from it then end their life over it.
If you don't know anything about a damn subject then don't post on it an ignorant statement such as this!
I just thought I'd write out the stuff that goes through my head, but typing is easier, and why not let people read my crap? I know no one c… moreares, but it might be entertaining at least.
I wish I knew as a kid. I wish I was conscious of what was happening. How could I have not realised how damn wrong it was? It was just the norm, I thought that was just how it was. I didnt know any different. But how could I have not said anything, not done anything, how could I have not been conscious of how much of a problem it was.
I'm sick of this depression, this self loathing, this boredom and monotony that is life. Someone bought me an xbox game, and I'm so ungrateful and selfish as I'm too depressed to even play it, I can hardly concentrate. I shouldn't be letting people spend money on me and accepting things if I am too lazy to even use them.
Everything is just so bleak and boring. I think that's the worst bit, the boredom. There is no distractio… [view original content]
Comments
I think a quick jaunt, conveniently timed, across the train tracks is a sure fire way, as long as you don't do it at a station. Yeah, I don't think I could slice my wrist, it pretty much goes against your survival instinct. I've managed to overcome it a little by punching myself in the face, hard enough to bruise. Baby steps I guess.
Exactly, I never know. It could get infinitely worse. And I don't care about the future, all I can see it right now and my past, and both are miserable as hell. I cant put up with it much longer, up with which I will not put. Its driving me insane.
It gives me headaches too, sometimes. No one wants you to do It so of course they won't give you methods, I would personally shoot myself but there's no guns in the UK.
I think it's time to call the...
Well good for fucking you. I wasnt saying I'm doing it because of him, I was just using it as an example of how he didn't care.
Yeah, I wish there were guns knocking about here.
Just don't do It, you'll be fine.
I've been where you are now. The best thing to do is to seek the help that's available and utilize it. The darkness you feel can be treated so that you won't feel like that most of the time, and when you do, it's not as bad, so you can cope with it.
I've been having a hard time coping with all the abuse I had in the past, and because I didn't say anything about it when it happened, people don't believe that it happened to me. I lost all my real life friends, my sister insults me both behind my back and to my face, and I have serious medical problems on top of it (that people also don't believe that I have).
I've actually tried to commit suicide three times. I'm not at the point where I'd say I'm happy with my life, but I am at the point where I can handle my suicidal thoughts. I went to a therapist, who sent me to a psychiatrist, and she prescribed the medication I'm on now. It was tough for me to admit that I needed it, but talking with someone (which is hard for me as I don't socialize in real life well) and, especially getting the medication, actually helps a lot.
I just thought I'd write out the stuff that goes through my head, but typing is easier, and why not let people read my crap? I know no one cares, but it might be entertaining at least.
I wish I knew as a kid. I wish I was conscious of what was happening. How could I have not realised how damn wrong it was? It was just the norm, I thought that was just how it was. I didnt know any different. But how could I have not said anything, not done anything, how could I have not been conscious of how much of a problem it was.
I'm sick of this depression, this self loathing, this boredom and monotony that is life. Someone bought me an xbox game, and I'm so ungrateful and selfish as I'm too depressed to even play it, I can hardly concentrate. I shouldn't be letting people spend money on me and accepting things if I am too lazy to even use them.
Everything is just so bleak and boring. I think that's the worst bit, the boredom. There is no distraction from it. The only way I can pass the time is to do two things at once half heartedly, as I can't focus and concentrate on one thing at a time, its too boring.
I wish there was a way to erase any trace of my existence. I wish I wasn't so different to all the other kids when I was younger, I thought they all faked the happiness like me. Turns out it was real for them. I wish I could kill myself without the body ever being found. The best I can think of is too keep walking in dark creepy alleyways until I get murdered. Then the murderer would have the incentive to hide/destroy the body. I suppose I'd be dead so it wouldn't matter to me, as I'd have no conciousness.
I wish I knew what happiness even felt like, I don't think I've ever even had it. Life was crap and miserable as a kid, I couldn't even get enjoyment out of the things kids get enjoyment out of. My brain just didn't work right. I was always so cynical of others, so nasty to them, its no wonder I never had any proper friends. All the other kids probably hated me haha, fair enough I suppose.
I wish I had a happy family, that had fun together and enjoyed each others company. I wish I could have a childhood where I did all the normal kid things, had great parents who I could do fun stuff with like go play in the park, or whatever. I just wish I had fond memories to look back on, instead of all the bloody misery.
Now I'm 16, and I've realised how messed up my childhood was, I feel even more depressed. Now I see how wrong it all was, how could this have been fricking done to me, why was all this crap fricking done to me? What did I do? What the hell did I do, that made me deserve any of this?
Now is the time I should just move on and get on with my life, its pretty much all over now. I just can't do it. I'm this weird social pariah that will never fit in, I will never know how to properly act in normal situations. I mumble, flinch whenever anyone comes near me, I can barely look people on the eye and hold a damn conversation. I wish I could stop being so damn awkward, but it's all I've ever been. I don't know any different. I can fake confidence, but I'm getting worse at it, and I haven't spoken to anyone, other than on the internet, in ages so I've probably forgotten how to do it.
I left school because I was too depressed to do the work, I couldn't concentrate and I didn't really want to do any work anyway. I just don't care. I have no future goals, no jobs I'd like to do, I have no interests. I just dismyself from the boredom myself with video games I can hardly concentrate and play.
I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. It just comes to the point where dieing is just a bit less crappy than living. Its like "To be or not to be", the only thing keeping the miserable folk from offing themselves is the fear of the unknown, or rather, the dread of an eternal unconsciousness. I hate the idea of a forever unconsciousness, but its inevitable, and the only thing stopping me is the biological urge to survive. But humans now have the self awareness to overcome their biological urges, and do as they like, to an extent at least.
I can't be arsed to write anymore, I can barely think properly. If anyone cares to read this, hope it gave you a laugh. But nobody cares. Heck, I don't even really care about anything anymore, so why should anybody else.
I talk to myself when I'm alone, but I'm not alone so I thought I'd type it all out instead. Its usually just a rehash of the same stuff everyday, accompanied by a bit of crying. I'm nearly a grown man, and I still cry everyday. Pathetic I know, I get hurt by things was too easily. Anything anyone says to me makes me realise I am a despicable terrible human being, and I won't amount to a shitstain. And I hate that I'm so horrible, but I don't know what I can do. I am just so jealous and bitter.
I get so angry and pissed off at the slightest thing. For example if there's nothing nice to eat in the house, I feel a rage build up inside of me. If I do anything wrong in a video game, someone says something that I don't agree with, even slightly, on the internet I get into such a rage. I've even done some stuff when I get into these strange moods, like I'm full of nervous energy, and punched walls and my own face to release energy, constantly pacing, but it doesn't go away, it just builds up until I sleep it off.
Damn, I'm such an attention seeker for writing all this. Look at me, trying to make random people on the internet give me attention. I don't even want attention, but it feels like anything I ever do is me just trying to get attention. I need to remind myself, nobody cares. No one cares about the crap going on in the middle east and Africa, so why would I do deserve and care or attention? Just me being selfish again I suppose.
I feel like I'm going insane, but
"I don't mind it anymore"
"But you should, you should mind it"
"Oh I do, but I say I don't"
You should only live for others as much as you'd expect them to live for you.
I'm glad medication works for you. I'm hoping I will be able to find one that does, the one I'm on now doesn't do owt. I'm sorry that happened to you. Why did you fail three times? Did it just go wrong, or did you change your mind?
The first time, it didn't go so well since my veins are deep. The second time, my mom stopped me as I tried to overdose on alcohol (as my heart stopped once before from an overdose of vodka). The third time, I changed my mind as I was about to jump from a bridge as realized it was mother's day, and I really didn't want my mom to get a call about me being dead on that day, of all days. I'm definitely ashamed that I tried to end my life, and I usually don't ever talk about it. But, sharing experiences actually does help, as no one is alone in anything. There's always someone who's been there before and has overcome the odds.
I had to go through three medications before I found what worked for me (which is actually a combination of an antidepressant and an anxiety medication). Definitely let your doctor know that it's not working (especially if you're still an adolescent as medication can sometimes increase your suicidal thoughts at that age). Everyone is different, so what works for some people won't work for others. You'll find one that works for you.
why don't you make a blog and turn all your thoughts into a novel? Readers can relate to your situation and want to know more about you. Stop saying we don't care. Even if you were an attention seeker, we still support you. We at Tell Tale forums don't discriminate against anyone. I feel your pain because, I'm sorta in your shoes right now. I just hide my problems and keep to myself most of the time, and talk to my fam and forum. I don't need medication. All I do is isolate myself and be anti-social most of the time
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I can't tell you not to commit suicide, because it's honestly not my place. And whatever choice you make, it's your choice, nobody elses. But I can ask you to please think long and hard before you consider it, and if you think there's no one out there who cares about you (if that's your situation) then I'll let you know that everyone on these forums cares about you and that if you want to PM me and talk, then you're welcome to. If you do take your own life, I won't think any less of you, but if you choose to stay then you are the most selfless and brave person I know and that we'll always be here for you.
I don't really have anything new to add to what the others have been saying. But I do have this. This site (http://blahtherapy.com/) lets you talk to a random, good-hearted person who's trying to help people with depression. I've been on there as a listener a few times. As someone who, ahem, doesn't exactly like himself very much, it made me feel like I'm a good person. So if you want to be needed and valued (like most people want), then you can be a listener and help others. And if you just want to vent, then you can do that, too. But seriously, please don't endorse suicide. I know things may seem crappy at the moment, but you never know how your life might turn out. You might end up causing a couple of people to avoid suicide. Innocent lives could be saved because of you. Trust me, it's completely possible. If you kill yourself, then those peoples' lives will be a lot darker. You know how painful that is, so live to make sure others don't have to suffer the same fate. I'm not that good at this, but I try.
If antidepressants aren't working then your depression is only a state of mind self-induced through your own cognitive self-statements.
What an awfully ignorant and inane statement. One does not just think themselves into a mental illness.
Yes you can with constant rumination.
Have you thought about making a blog regarding your thoughts? Maybe becoming an advocate for the depressed and showing people how painful it really is? You'd be doing a lot of good in the world just by trying.
This is a very difficult subject. My first tip would be give it awhile. 3 months at the very least. Think out all the pros and cons to it. Write down why it sounds like a good idea now, why it might not be a good idea, and work on changing why it sounds like a good idea. Usually suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. There are people who care about you, and if there aren't then you're looking in the wrong places. Life is already short, make the most of what you got!
If you're dead set on it then I would go with a large, damaging round to the head. 12 Guage for instance. It's hard to mess it up when there isn't anything left. It's bloody and gory so don't do this and leave it for the wrong person to find. That's just mean.
But again, don't do it compulsively. Think before you act, and if it still seems like the option you want to go with after doing so well...
PS. Ever want to talk in private just send me a PM.
I'd rather not become one of the tumblr social justice warrior types that all blogs seem to be written by. I am shit at writing as well lol.
As somebody said above, it's plenty possible to talk yourself into depression, and a lot of time that's key factor.
a) I'm talking from experience
b) consider the cognative approach to psychotherapy - there are a lot of things, such as automatic thoughts, irrational beliefs,
For instance, you mentioned somebody had bought you an x-box game, and you were too depressed to play it, and that made you selfish. Why is that selfish? Do you think you should be given more? That's not what it sounds like to me. Are you unthankful? It doesn't sound like that either. The other thing is, we always say 'don't be selfish,' or 'don't feel sorry for yourself' or those kinds of things - but sometimes you need to, and that's okay. Sometimes if you really need it, it's okay to be selfish. Sometimes it's okay to feel sorry for yourself.
It's hard to do it on a forum, but you talk about it at length with somebody, about all the little steps in these lines of thoughts, and why you come to certain negative conclusions and not other conclusions - is there a counselor or therapist you can talk to? I know I didn't until I was 18 because I know they'd have to report it to my parents and I was way too afraid. Two years sounds like a long time, but it isn't in the long run, and then you can find a professional without your parents knowing. Even now, and again, I don't know if this is a matter of a home situation, but I think at 16 you can be an emancipated minor. I don't know how British law works though. Plus life is going to have a lot of changes. I'm not saying it gets better, I don't know, it goes up and down, but going new places and having new experiences at least keeps it fresh and interesting, at least for me.
When you say the things that happened to you, are you talking about something your parents or someone you know have done? It may sound strange but - blame them, even if they're your parents, if you need to. They are still who they are and you can't change them. I'm not saying that in the sense of unconditional love or acceptance, I'm saying that in the sense of it's not your responsiblity to fix them. (again, I don't mean to assume that's the problem if it isn't) This is going to sound strange considering recent events, but one quote from Robin Williams really struck a chord with me "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
I'm not unfamiliar to suicidal thoughts, at my worst I had them nearly daily (though I never acted upon them), but I've been in therapy a while, and talking a lot about things, such as thought processes that cause me to spiral into depression, and I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a months. To be honest, I can't help on the lack of motivation or enjoyment; I've been having a lot of that for a while, and I really don't know how to get over it.
Also, it's kind of weird, but at least for me, watching really depressing movies or listening to depressing music actually makes me feel better, because it feels like understanding. If it only makes you more depressed, don't do it.
But the most important thing is talk. Talk to somebody who knows how to deal with depression and suicide - and in real time, in person or on the phone.
Unfortunately guns are not freely accessible in the UK, I wish they were, bloody hell I wish they were. It'd be so much easier.
Pretty much everyone took my words out of my mouth. I am glad you went to this forum to ask for help instead of trying to commit suicide. That's something...umm is there anything you like to do? You can always try to something new. Maybe you'll find something you enjoy and like. My old best friend was just like you but she really really wanted to died. She had to move she which she did not want to at all because she liked her old school. When she move to another school she found people who were like her too. She started smiling and I have not seen her sad side in a year. Even though we don't talk that much, I am really happy that she found happiness. Crazy things happen. You never know when your life might turn around. That's all I can say. You have a choice to follow what me or what the other comments sad. But don't hurt yourself....
I think you're a very good writer. Just an idea.
I want to talk about it, hence randomly talking about it with people on the internet. It'd probably be too awkward in person, and they'd probably just be disgusted by me anyway.
I can't really blame anyone but myself. I think its much less likely its my parents who are the problem, I'm the problem to them. I selfishly drain their resources and am too lazy to do anything in return, they are right to not like me.
I listen to quite depressing music a lot, it does help, it verbalises how you are thinking I guess. I'm sorry you were depressed, I am glad things are better for you now.
You've never read any proper writing I've made. Well I suppose I don't make any lol. Thanks, I suppose.
Don't do it, it's only going to make things worse for those very close to you. You may not realize it, but I KNOW there are those who care. I, for some reason, understand how you feel. How much it hurts. And it hurts SO bad. There were times... where even I thought about doing it. But that was in the past. When I was a kid I was always so cheerful, I had a father, a brother and a mother, but.... that was until when I was about 5, I learned the truth. Who I thought was my mother, was actually my sister, who had to fill in the role. My real mother died when I was 1 or 2, and I never knew a damn thing. I was so angry, upset, I felt cheated and was lied to! I was so bitter about it, still am(I'm 20 now) but not much. I forgave them for that, they only tried to protect me. Now... when I was in school, I was always the odd one, bullied, made fun of, manipulated, always doing the group's work. I was even betrayed by my best friend and others that we were friends to, I was left alone. Most of my life I've always been alone, even now. I like being alone but at the same time I don't want to. And when I was 14, someone VERY close to me died, my grandmother. When she died, I didn't feel much of anything. Everything felt so pointless, they still kinda do. Everything that kept happening, I had thoughts of either killing everyone or wanted to die. I didn't care much about anything, if I died then so be it. But... I had an old friend I thought had moved, come back, and ever since then things turned around. He's my new best friend, and because of him I was able to find joy again and made many new friends in school. But obviously most have moved since school's over, but I still see some.
You know, I also have others who are suicidal as well. One is my sister, she has suffered longer than me, and she one time held a knife at her chest, but I yanked it away. It's a complicated relationship but we still get along. An old friend (different one) was framed for rape and had everyone turn against him, except me. He was suicidal for a month or so. He's okay now though. But when he was suicidal, I... I kept trying, but he wouldn't stop, eventually... I just gave up on him. Looking back at it, I'm disgusted at myself. It's why I hate myself so much. Now.... there is someone precious to me, they're in a whole world of suffering, more than I possibly could imagine, who's also suicidal. This time, I promised myself I wouldn't give up on this one, I never will. A blunt yet valuable lesson I learned is this: Those who don't try to save others are scum. However... those who gives up on lives are even worse than scum.
Listen, you don't need to do this. It's not the way. I know your scared but there are people out there who can help you, that's one of the reasons why I believe one day people can truly understand each other. One's journey always has it's downsides, even it's an incredibly long one, but things usually turns out better. You've read what I've been through, and ever since here, I felt even more better than I have. Because you're able to meet wonderful people and be friends with them. No matter how far the distance is, people can still be friends with each other. And know there's a chance that there's at least a person where you live likes you but is too shy to confront you. There's always someone who will be watching over you. I'm know in time, life will get better, there's always at least one person who cares. Eventually there'll be something in time you'll want to protect as well. And I think we all just proved we all certainly cared. And crying is not weakness, it shows we're capable of feeling things. I hate crying too honestly, I hold it in, but it ain't all so bad once you let it out. Sometimes you can't always listen to your brain, as it likes to work against you, but your heart is what matters more. Your mind is telling you're a horrible person, but your heart says your someone with huge amount of pain who needs help. Right now your letting the world crush you under it's foot, but eventually you'll find the strength to lift it up and prove yourself, life has it's meaning. Believe me when I say I got quite the temper as well, it's weakness but eventually you'll be able to control it. Anyway, sometimes attention doesn't always have to be a bad thing, and if someone calls you an attention whore, then they're one themselves for making their presence known as well. That name calling is only a foolish childish act. Gaining self awareness has it's perks. Selfishness isn't always a bad thing, only if it's misused it is, but in this case it's not. Sometimes, selfishness and selflessness comes seldom hand-in-hand. But don't kill yourself, it's not the right answer. Do you really want to make others suffer by doing this? Do you really want your family to suffer more than it already has? Do you really believe that's the only solution to find peace? Don't give up on life, keep fighting back, find ways to make yourself happy. Suicide just means your willing to give up the possibility of actually being happy. The pain never goes away, you just make room for it by stuffing it with something positive. Don't let the pain determine your life, you're the one who can control how you want it to be, so you decide how you want to live. And you'll find out what you want to do in life!
Impossible to get?
You could them if you knew the right people. I don't though unfortunately.
They won't think you're disgusting. You do know there are even child molesters who go to therapists and the therapists still try to help them? I won't lie and say therapists won't have their own feelings to themselves (God knows I complex wonderng about what my therapist secretly thinks of me), but no matter what they are there with you, to help you.
Honestly, talking on a forum where it's constantly touch and go, not in real time, not able to dissect the ins and outs, really isn't going to help in the long run. It might feel good to get something off your chest temporarily, but it won't help at all for feeling better.
I can't emphasize how important it is to actually meet with somebody trained to help, face to face if possible. It probably will be awkward, but that's okay. It may be awkward for a while. That's okay too. But going and trying to work it out, face to face, I think is the really big step that you need to make. It's really hard, I know I spent a lot of time pacing in front of the clinic, debating to go in, but even just trying will feel like an accomplishment.
If you want to see a movie that I think portrays therapy really well, watch "The Woodsman." Kevin Bacon gets released from jail after having molested a child, and is trying to deal with getting back into society and trying to stay on the straight an narrow. Michael Shannon plays his therapist, and the interplay between the two is interesting to watch, and more importantly, I think, shows a lot of psychotherapy very well and accurately.
That does complicate things. Breaking the spinal cord is a quick and painless way to go. But you would need to do the research. Know your body weight, how much of a drop you need, rope preparation procedures and the like. If you do it wrong you end up choking, which isn't fun. Perhaps have something to cut the rope if it doesn't work correctly, because strangulation would be a horrible fate. Drowning isn't an option in my book. Jumping from heights may work, though I would be afraid of the circumstances that could arise.
The fact you're here talking to people about things other than specific ways to end you life seems to point towards the notion you don't want to kill yourself. You're looking for release, which is good. Finding all your options is a good place to start. You want to hear people discussing the idea with you, and I completely respect that. I've been in your shoes. I think most everyone has at one point in their life, to some degree. It's natural. The greatest advise I can give you is "Just do it." Cheesy, I know. Nike beat me to it. But whatever you want to do, do it. That's the philosophy I've been living by recently, and I love it and myself. Get up and do you. Go to college, learn how to program a new game, go to the beach and tell the most beautiful girl there she looks like a hippo. Don't judge yourself by how others judge you. (Though all of this may be specific to my past situation, I'm not sure.) That and ask for help. Talk to your parents before you do anything. If you're determined to end your life then what does it matter anyways? I have no doubt you're in for an awakening in the "No one cares about me" department. Seek professional help. Someone who knows what to do biochemically wise to help you.
Message me back
Please don't... I kind of feel like I don't want to live right now either, but... It's just going to transfer the pain to someone else if you kill yourself, is that what you want?
Don't.
Please.
Look at this website: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Or add me on steam if you have one, it's the same name as here.. I'll talk to you if you want to talk to someone. Whatever it takes, I'll talk to you and help you. I can even send you some money if you want to buy antidepressants or anything.. I'm not kidding, I have some money laying around.
I did not like what your previous comment implied, and the apparent tone of voice it had.
Right now I'm thinking a well timed quick jaunt across the train tracks is the way to go.There's no way I'm surviving that, and the body should hopefully get quite mushed up in the process.
I've been told so many times, to go out and do stuff, but I can barely get out of bed, I stay in for ages as I don't want another day to start. I try and do things, but I cannot get any enjoyment out of anything anymore. My brain won't let me.
Lol, I am honestly serious about no one caring. Why would I go to strangers on the internet if I had someone who cared? I've never had anyone.
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you. I honestly don't get this you'll make others suffer argument. Literally, no one will suffer. Even if they did, their suffering would eventually end. And fuck it, if I can end my misery, I don't care if someone feels a little sad about it. I admit it.
The feeling you describe, of being bored but then being too depressed to do something about the boredom, is exactly the kind of thing medications are good at resolving. However, not all medications work for everyone, and some of them make it worse. You need to try something different before you give up on life.
Don't kill yourself by throwing yourself in front of a train. You'll ruin the driver's day, and if it's a passenger train, they'll be affected emotionally, too. It might push some of them over the edge. Don't do it.
These are the ignorant comments that piss me off!
Depression is not a choice, you can't just think one moment your life is complete shit and no one wants you then say "I'm not depressed" then be happy. If you truly think that then you are one of the most ignorant people I've met. You don't have control over when you suffer it just happens, I can't get rid of it and neither can sprocket. Mine is genetic and it mine starts from another mental problem I can't control. If people truly thought themselves into depression and could think themselves out then why do people still suffer from it then end their life over it.
If you don't know anything about a damn subject then don't post on it an ignorant statement such as this!
Voltaire
You could always listen to Voltaire .
Just out of curiosity, did you happen to get that PM I sent you?
I don't think so, I can't find one, sorry.
Edit: Whoops, yeah I found it. Thanks for the link.