Does Growing up really mean giving up on your Dreams?
Growing up is becoming self-supporting and realizing that you shouldn't give a… more damn about what anyone says and that you can live your life in whatever way you want.
But I also want help on how to deal with massive amounts of stress, and that isn't age specific.
Cannabis Indica
I'm only 22 and I feel like I'm in crunch time of life. I feel like in order to do school, and have a job like everyone says I need to have, in order to do that I have to give up my hobbies and what makes me, me.
Sleep 8 hours, study or work 8 hours, do hobbies for 8 hours. ez life
Is that true? Is life really that awful?
Life is amazing
I'm sure this would make a lot more sense to me if one of y'all would define soulless drones. Not everyone is going to have a career they despise so much that it makes them soulless, no matter how much they might need the money. If someone is stuck being so miserable in such a situation, then maybe they didn't try hard enough to get out of said situation. As I am coming to terms that I am close to putting myself in such a situation, but I'm going to try my damnedest not to be what you say I will be.
Even is they are working a soulless 9 - 5 job, they should still have time to do what they want outside of work. They can still live outside that.
I know I still have a lot of growing up and coming to terms with my limitations, but you saying I will be a soulless drone doesn't make any sense to me. If I'm going to be miserable, then it's my choice. And I don't want to be.
From the way it sounds, you seem to be one of those soulless drones to crunch numbers.
Statistically he probably is, as will you be,… more as am I. It isn't a slap in the face, it's a simple truth. If you've got the fire in your belly from a comment like that then hop to it and get your dream career in the works! Just make sure that fire stays lit or you'll be right back where you started, wondering if your dreams are obtainable.
I have a de-stressing routine as you have described, only for me its drawing and writing. I guess you could say that what I'm going through on your terms would be that you have to give up your working out and meditating.
Why did you decide that you couldn't achieve your dream? Maybe you can still achieve it but not on a level you once saw yourself doing it at. I know for myself I often have the issue that, if I can't be the best, than I won't even try. But recently I'm coming to realize that if I can at least be good enough in said department, then I did achieve something rather than absolutely nothing.
Particularly, from the older users on the forums or just people with life experience of living in the real world dealing with school, colleg… moree, work, having a job and paying bills. Basically being an adult. But I also want help on how to deal with massive amounts of stress, and that isn't age specific.
Lot of things I do to deal with stress. I have a lot of it, and acquire it quickly and easily. I meditate in the morning, I work out constantly, I go on vacations/minivacations, I drink and party when I get the chance, I hang out with friends in what free time I have. My favorite is working out and meditating, I can put all of my anger, hate, mistrust, and the like into my work outs and release them. Meditating calms me and helps me think straight, so I usually do that in the morning.
Does growing up mean giving up on the dreams you've had since you were a child? Is there a balance between being an adult and living an adult life an… [view original content]
Don't listen to what others have to say to YOU.
YOU are the master of your life. Even if you do not become a writer or an artist, you can… more always put your creativity to the Internet and get a lot of pleasant criticism from other people
Look closely and you'll see that life, albeit a complicated thing, there happen both successes and failures, but
NO TEST, WHICH WE COULD NOT TO WITHSTAND!
Be strong, and you will live a happy life
The way it's used I would assume it means little more than "a person in an average career/job." You can use your free time to write/draw or what have you, but they'll likely stay just hobbies and between real life and your job your time for hobbies won't be very large. Chances are you won't ever get to make a career out of the things you like doing, sadly. But as I said if you think you can then go for it, it's only the few who try and suceed who get those sought after lives, and in order to be one of the few who succeeds you need to be one of the few who tries. Good luck
I'm sure this would make a lot more sense to me if one of y'all would define soulless drones. Not everyone is going to have a career they de… morespise so much that it makes them soulless, no matter how much they might need the money. If someone is stuck being so miserable in such a situation, then maybe they didn't try hard enough to get out of said situation. As I am coming to terms that I am close to putting myself in such a situation, but I'm going to try my damnedest not to be what you say I will be.
Even is they are working a soulless 9 - 5 job, they should still have time to do what they want outside of work. They can still live outside that.
I know I still have a lot of growing up and coming to terms with my limitations, but you saying I will be a soulless drone doesn't make any sense to me. If I'm going to be miserable, then it's my choice. And I don't want to be.
Life happens, and because life happens we have to make sacrifices. But, we can't ever give up on something we whole-heartedly put our minds too. Maybe that means we don't get to have a spouse and children, instead you get to achieve what you really want. But you have to choose what you want, and it may be hard, but as long as you keep on trying I feel you can at least have what you desire.
And it means the world to me to know that at least one person likes it, in that sense my dream is achieved. But I still want more, but I am beyond happy to know that anyone likes what I do. I didn't finish the DOW thing because I got a new job and school got really busy, so I scrapped the project. But, I appreciate that anyone read it, and it had a lot of followers and reviews on FF.net. So, at least some people like it.
We have to accept and realize that yes, putting food on the table and paying bills is more important than writing a novel or drawing an art book. But, you're right, we just have to try hard enough to find a happy medium. It'll work out, I think, if we pray and think on it and organize our lives so that we can fit in the things we want.
Life happens, and it's not always fair, but I hope you don't get as down in the dumps on our talents and abilities as I did. I can tell Blades, you have a lot of potential and will make it far if you keep on trying and growing stronger.
As a younger member of the forums, I can safely say I don't know, and I wish I would never know. All I know is life is tough, and the answer… more is probably yes. It's still possible to follow your dreams, and I'm sure some people have, but it doesn't seem likely. I'm worried about growing up because I'll probably end up in the same situation, anyhow I hope you find what you're looking for.
I for one personally think your writing is good. It might not mean much coming from some random person from the internet, but it's something. Judging by the awesome fanbase you've acquired in the Dead Of Winter project, I would say your chances are good. By the way did you release any chapters? I haven't read anything from you in a while :c. So as of now, being the young person I am, I'd like to say to try your best, and hope for the best. I don't know how much of this works, but try to believe in yourself, or at least believe things will get better.
b… [view original content]
I have a de-stressing routine as you have described, only for me its drawing and writing. I guess you could say that what I'm going through on your terms would be that you have to give up your working out and meditating.
As I can always make time to work out and meditate you can make time to write and draw. Get up 45 minutes earlier and go to bed 45 minutes later than you normally do if it absolutely comes down to it. Sleep is usually an over sought commodity, learn to live with an hour and a half less and 4 weeks later you won't even miss it.
My dream is to be a cinematographer and to capture the beauty of the world and the beauty of the people in the world, like Devin Supertramp. Since I've realized that won't happen I've joined the Army and started college. So while I've come to the conclusion I won't ever get to live my one true dream I have other things going for me. I still have fun and am generally happy, my goals are just more obtainable now. I'll never get to realize the dream I've had since I was 10, but I also won't end up begging for change on the sidewalk. Give and take.
I have a de-stressing routine as you have described, only for me its drawing and writing. I guess you could say that what I'm going through … moreon your terms would be that you have to give up your working out and meditating.
Why did you decide that you couldn't achieve your dream? Maybe you can still achieve it but not on a level you once saw yourself doing it at. I know for myself I often have the issue that, if I can't be the best, than I won't even try. But recently I'm coming to realize that if I can at least be good enough in said department, then I did achieve something rather than absolutely nothing.
I really hadn't thought about it that way... I hope maybe I will have someone to look after me in my old age, but sometimes I think that kids are the only option. Well, that or die in a nursing home, and nursing homes are the most depressing places on earth.
History is my major, it's the only thing I'd be good enough at to actually get a Bachelors or Masters in. So, I'm sticking with it. The only thing is, is that I just worry about what sort of job it will land me. Since, I've heard History degrees are just like the most useless ones out there... XD
I do want to get married and have a husband in the future, but I thought it would be easier to find men who don't want kids, all the sudden every guy wants kids and I don't. lol I just know having children will result in the complete loss of a career of give up on my hobbies. And since I would never want to be in a position where the man is paying the bills and I have nothing to fall back on, I am going to choose being self sufficient and single.
I have done a few Fan fictions before. I got pretty good reviews on them. But when I let someone read one of my original novels first few chapters, they hated it pretty much. So, I got my confidence shot down pretty harshly.
I only mentioned kids because you did, thinking you needed to have some to avoid being dumped in a nursing home. Though at 22, by the time … moreyou need something like that in 60-70 years, there will almost certainly be self-driving cars, we might have robot caretakers, and nursing homes will definitely not be as they are today. So don't worry about that just yet.
There are careers that consume your life if you let them. I've avoided those, myself. Not sure what your major is, but at 22, it's probably too late to change unless you're pretty sure it isn't what you want to be doing after all.
If you can manage to get regular days off from your future job, then that's all you need to ensure you have enough time for art and writing. You just need to prioritize the things you want to do. Imagine if you considered art "essential" and paying bills "as time permits." OK, the bills do have to get paid, preferably before their due dates, but if… [view original content]
If I want to keep my car I do. LOL (That was the deal pretty much, I got to College and get a degree and my grandparents would help pay off my car. If I stop school they would take it away.)
But don't force yourself into something you will hate, just get a job but don't forget your dreams.
You're an amazing person Hollay and it's never too late to follow what YOU really want to do.
That's all very true. I guess I should change my definition of successful and live by it for my own sake. Success for me should equal happiness. All the while I can still make it by in the real world.
Then try or you'll never be sure, and never give up,make sure that if you fail, it isn't because you didn't try, believe me, you have the ab… moreillity to acomplish anything you want to do.
Remember, those things that you love are part of what makes you who you are, don't give yourself to the world in exchange of an unhappy life just because everyone else did to be "succesful", you might win a lot of money, and people might tell you you're succesful, but remember you'll never be truly succesful in your life until YOU are happy.
As you say you want to be one yourself, I totally understand that we have to compromise things in our lives. And we have to make priorities and pay attention to being able to make it by, yes I understand.
But, at the very least, you are making it by and still able to write on the side? Am I correct?
It doesn't mean giving up on your dreams, but sometimes it means making difficult choices between some desires and others, and sometimes it … moremeans compromise.
The example of writing, you can keep reading, keep practicing, keep trying to get better if that's what you really want to do. You may never get a book deal, and you may have to live with that, and then the choice is if you want to keep doing it for your own enjoyment or not. I'd like to be a writer, but I'd also like to be self-sufficient by the tiime I'm 27. As to compromise, there's a relatively easy job opportunity for me, doing something I really don't want to, but it would give me enough money and freetime so I could write on the side - that's a [potential] compromise.
Though I will say, it depends on your situation - namely your financial background and your education. You do have people who work all the time, or even need two jobs to stay afloat. Here in Korea you see a lot… [view original content]
I actually got on a really messed up sleep schedule during the summer of 2014, where I would sleep and average of 5 hours a night and do everything else the other 19 hours. So, I totally get what you mean.
Maybe, just maybe, you can still do it. Maybe you won't get to do it right now, maybe not in 20 years. But maybe if you can try and set up at least a small portion that can be obtainable of your dream, than perhaps you can't say you gave up on it altogether.
I have a de-stressing routine as you have described, only for me its drawing and writing. I guess you could say that what I'm going through … moreon your terms would be that you have to give up your working out and meditating.
As I can always make time to work out and meditate you can make time to write and draw. Get up 45 minutes earlier and go to bed 45 minutes later than you normally do if it absolutely comes down to it. Sleep is usually an over sought commodity, learn to live with an hour and a half less and 4 weeks later you won't even miss it.
My dream is to be a cinematographer and to capture the beauty of the world and the beauty of the people in the world, like Devin Supertramp. Since I've realized that won't happen I've joined the Army and started college. So while I've come to the conclusion I won't ever get to live my one true dream I have other things going for me. I still have fun and am generally happy, my goals are just m… [view original content]
The way it's used I would assume it means little more than "a person in an average career/job." You can use your free time to write/draw or … morewhat have you, but they'll likely stay just hobbies and between real life and your job your time for hobbies won't be very large. Chances are you won't ever get to make a career out of the things you like doing, sadly. But as I said if you think you can then go for it, it's only the few who try and suceed who get those sought after lives, and in order to be one of the few who succeeds you need to be one of the few who tries. Good luck
Exactly, just find what makes you happy, for some people it could be having their dream job,for some it's money, having a family, being with the ones you love, if publishing a novel or being an artist makes you truly happy then that is your succes.
Also without those difficulties to obtain what you want,life would be boring, just imagine having everything you want when you want, after a while it would just get repetitive and boring, be sure always have a goal in your life, even when you have already acomplished the previous ones or it could become very monotone
That's all very true. I guess I should change my definition of successful and live by it for my own sake. Success for me should equal happiness. All the while I can still make it by in the real world.
If that's the case then you should have no problem. It may not get all the attention you want to give it, but there is no reason you should need to give up your hobbies indefinitely
If I don't achieve my dreams, than it's my fault. If I'm strong, than I can do it. I just wish I could believe in my own strength.
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement anyways.
WHY CHIPOTLE, Everytime i eat a burrito bowl, i get sick to stomach, like a stupid dog who eats so much he gets sick. i eat it every time then whine about it.
Sometimes I forget that he's there for me, I just want to be strong enough to make it on my own, and sometimes I feel weak when I think that… more God will take care of everything. But in the end, your completely right.
Also, really glad to hear your okay George.
I really hadn't thought about it that way... I hope maybe I will have someone to look after me in my old age, but sometimes I think that kid… mores are the only option. Well, that or die in a nursing home, and nursing homes are the most depressing places on earth.
History is my major, it's the only thing I'd be good enough at to actually get a Bachelors or Masters in. So, I'm sticking with it. The only thing is, is that I just worry about what sort of job it will land me. Since, I've heard History degrees are just like the most useless ones out there... XD
I do want to get married and have a husband in the future, but I thought it would be easier to find men who don't want kids, all the sudden every guy wants kids and I don't. lol I just know having children will result in the complete loss of a career of give up on my hobbies. And since I would never want to be in a position where the man is paying the bills and I have nothing to fall back o… [view original content]
Well, I'm still a grad student (hopefully only for a few more days), but I'm saying, as far as I understand the options given to me; I'm trying to get a job in film sales/acquisition, which will probably eat up all my time, but it's something I want to do, or teach, where the pay is good, I'll have free time to read and write, but it, (in and of itself) is not something I particularly want to do.
As you say you want to be one yourself, I totally understand that we have to compromise things in our lives. And we have to make priorities … moreand pay attention to being able to make it by, yes I understand.
But, at the very least, you are making it by and still able to write on the side? Am I correct?
I'm not too familiar myself with what people with History degrees do, other than teach History, but hopefully you're around other people there who have a better idea.
Even if you do wind up having kids some day, they are a big time sink, but they're also an inspiration. And kids generally love art in some form, even if it's finger-painting, so that gives you something fun to do with them that's at least a little bit artsy.
As for your novel reader, I hope they offered reasons why they hated the beginning of your novel, other than "It sucks!" That's the point of the review. If they hate the entire concept, there's not much you can do to fix that, other than realize the story may not appeal to a general audience. If they think the characters are soulless robots, unless it's a story about soulless robots, you'll need to find a way to give them more depth. If every fourth word is misspelled and a single sentence spans 16 lines, that's something you can fix, though if you write novels like you write posts, I doubt that's a problem. Finally, ask if there's anything they liked about it.
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling a little better than when you first posted the topic. Just keep plugging away, and things tend to find some way to work out.
I really hadn't thought about it that way... I hope maybe I will have someone to look after me in my old age, but sometimes I think that kid… mores are the only option. Well, that or die in a nursing home, and nursing homes are the most depressing places on earth.
History is my major, it's the only thing I'd be good enough at to actually get a Bachelors or Masters in. So, I'm sticking with it. The only thing is, is that I just worry about what sort of job it will land me. Since, I've heard History degrees are just like the most useless ones out there... XD
I do want to get married and have a husband in the future, but I thought it would be easier to find men who don't want kids, all the sudden every guy wants kids and I don't. lol I just know having children will result in the complete loss of a career of give up on my hobbies. And since I would never want to be in a position where the man is paying the bills and I have nothing to fall back o… [view original content]
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Thanks Clem_is_awesome. Always love seeing what you have to say.
I'm sure this would make a lot more sense to me if one of y'all would define soulless drones. Not everyone is going to have a career they despise so much that it makes them soulless, no matter how much they might need the money. If someone is stuck being so miserable in such a situation, then maybe they didn't try hard enough to get out of said situation. As I am coming to terms that I am close to putting myself in such a situation, but I'm going to try my damnedest not to be what you say I will be.
Even is they are working a soulless 9 - 5 job, they should still have time to do what they want outside of work. They can still live outside that.
I know I still have a lot of growing up and coming to terms with my limitations, but you saying I will be a soulless drone doesn't make any sense to me. If I'm going to be miserable, then it's my choice. And I don't want to be.
I have a de-stressing routine as you have described, only for me its drawing and writing. I guess you could say that what I'm going through on your terms would be that you have to give up your working out and meditating.
Why did you decide that you couldn't achieve your dream? Maybe you can still achieve it but not on a level you once saw yourself doing it at. I know for myself I often have the issue that, if I can't be the best, than I won't even try. But recently I'm coming to realize that if I can at least be good enough in said department, then I did achieve something rather than absolutely nothing.
If I don't achieve my dreams, than it's my fault. If I'm strong, than I can do it. I just wish I could believe in my own strength.
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement anyways.
The way it's used I would assume it means little more than "a person in an average career/job." You can use your free time to write/draw or what have you, but they'll likely stay just hobbies and between real life and your job your time for hobbies won't be very large. Chances are you won't ever get to make a career out of the things you like doing, sadly. But as I said if you think you can then go for it, it's only the few who try and suceed who get those sought after lives, and in order to be one of the few who succeeds you need to be one of the few who tries. Good luck
Life happens, and because life happens we have to make sacrifices. But, we can't ever give up on something we whole-heartedly put our minds too. Maybe that means we don't get to have a spouse and children, instead you get to achieve what you really want. But you have to choose what you want, and it may be hard, but as long as you keep on trying I feel you can at least have what you desire.
And it means the world to me to know that at least one person likes it, in that sense my dream is achieved. But I still want more, but I am beyond happy to know that anyone likes what I do. I didn't finish the DOW thing because I got a new job and school got really busy, so I scrapped the project. But, I appreciate that anyone read it, and it had a lot of followers and reviews on FF.net. So, at least some people like it.
We have to accept and realize that yes, putting food on the table and paying bills is more important than writing a novel or drawing an art book. But, you're right, we just have to try hard enough to find a happy medium. It'll work out, I think, if we pray and think on it and organize our lives so that we can fit in the things we want.
Life happens, and it's not always fair, but I hope you don't get as down in the dumps on our talents and abilities as I did. I can tell Blades, you have a lot of potential and will make it far if you keep on trying and growing stronger.
As I can always make time to work out and meditate you can make time to write and draw. Get up 45 minutes earlier and go to bed 45 minutes later than you normally do if it absolutely comes down to it. Sleep is usually an over sought commodity, learn to live with an hour and a half less and 4 weeks later you won't even miss it.
My dream is to be a cinematographer and to capture the beauty of the world and the beauty of the people in the world, like Devin Supertramp. Since I've realized that won't happen I've joined the Army and started college. So while I've come to the conclusion I won't ever get to live my one true dream I have other things going for me. I still have fun and am generally happy, my goals are just more obtainable now. I'll never get to realize the dream I've had since I was 10, but I also won't end up begging for change on the sidewalk. Give and take.
I really hadn't thought about it that way... I hope maybe I will have someone to look after me in my old age, but sometimes I think that kids are the only option. Well, that or die in a nursing home, and nursing homes are the most depressing places on earth.
History is my major, it's the only thing I'd be good enough at to actually get a Bachelors or Masters in. So, I'm sticking with it. The only thing is, is that I just worry about what sort of job it will land me. Since, I've heard History degrees are just like the most useless ones out there... XD
I do want to get married and have a husband in the future, but I thought it would be easier to find men who don't want kids, all the sudden every guy wants kids and I don't. lol I just know having children will result in the complete loss of a career of give up on my hobbies. And since I would never want to be in a position where the man is paying the bills and I have nothing to fall back on, I am going to choose being self sufficient and single.
I have done a few Fan fictions before. I got pretty good reviews on them. But when I let someone read one of my original novels first few chapters, they hated it pretty much. So, I got my confidence shot down pretty harshly.
If I want to keep my car I do. LOL (That was the deal pretty much, I got to College and get a degree and my grandparents would help pay off my car. If I stop school they would take it away.)
Thanks Golden, I appreciate your persistence.
And you're a pretty good kid too.
That's all very true. I guess I should change my definition of successful and live by it for my own sake. Success for me should equal happiness. All the while I can still make it by in the real world.
As you say you want to be one yourself, I totally understand that we have to compromise things in our lives. And we have to make priorities and pay attention to being able to make it by, yes I understand.
But, at the very least, you are making it by and still able to write on the side? Am I correct?
I actually got on a really messed up sleep schedule during the summer of 2014, where I would sleep and average of 5 hours a night and do everything else the other 19 hours. So, I totally get what you mean.
Maybe, just maybe, you can still do it. Maybe you won't get to do it right now, maybe not in 20 years. But maybe if you can try and set up at least a small portion that can be obtainable of your dream, than perhaps you can't say you gave up on it altogether.
I don't want my writing and drawing to be my career, I just want them to stay a part of my life.
Exactly, just find what makes you happy, for some people it could be having their dream job,for some it's money, having a family, being with the ones you love, if publishing a novel or being an artist makes you truly happy then that is your succes.
Also without those difficulties to obtain what you want,life would be boring, just imagine having everything you want when you want, after a while it would just get repetitive and boring, be sure always have a goal in your life, even when you have already acomplished the previous ones or it could become very monotone
If that's the case then you should have no problem. It may not get all the attention you want to give it, but there is no reason you should need to give up your hobbies indefinitely
Thanks, I hope everything works out for you.
If you need any more help - just PM me
I ate Chipotle and not feeling so good .
WHY CHIPOTLE, Everytime i eat a burrito bowl, i get sick to stomach, like a stupid dog who eats so much he gets sick. i eat it every time then whine about it.
Children are usually a later in life decision. It's much better to be single and selfsuficient before even considering kids imho.
Well, I'm still a grad student (hopefully only for a few more days), but I'm saying, as far as I understand the options given to me; I'm trying to get a job in film sales/acquisition, which will probably eat up all my time, but it's something I want to do, or teach, where the pay is good, I'll have free time to read and write, but it, (in and of itself) is not something I particularly want to do.
I'm not too familiar myself with what people with History degrees do, other than teach History, but hopefully you're around other people there who have a better idea.
Even if you do wind up having kids some day, they are a big time sink, but they're also an inspiration. And kids generally love art in some form, even if it's finger-painting, so that gives you something fun to do with them that's at least a little bit artsy.
As for your novel reader, I hope they offered reasons why they hated the beginning of your novel, other than "It sucks!" That's the point of the review. If they hate the entire concept, there's not much you can do to fix that, other than realize the story may not appeal to a general audience. If they think the characters are soulless robots, unless it's a story about soulless robots, you'll need to find a way to give them more depth. If every fourth word is misspelled and a single sentence spans 16 lines, that's something you can fix, though if you write novels like you write posts, I doubt that's a problem. Finally, ask if there's anything they liked about it.
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling a little better than when you first posted the topic. Just keep plugging away, and things tend to find some way to work out.