50 Shades Of Rhyiona
From the makers of the critically acclaimed 50 Shades Of Jenny, comes the newest TellTale Forum best seller, 50 Shades of Rhyiona
Rhys grumbled to himself. He really wasn't made for this sort of thing. He wasn't born for this. He was Hyperion for Handsome Jack's sake! (No, he is still not obsessed with the guy. Not at all.)
First, he was being held at gunpoint. Nothing unsual since they'd been dropped on Pandora but most certainly not pleasant no matter how many times it happened. Second, he was scrawny. He didn't think he could handle one more minute of physical activity. He could die! (Probably not, but sue him for tying to use it as an excuse to stop and rest.) Third, and most importantly, why did he have to be stuck with her?! She was rude, she was nosy, she was-
She suddenly turned, feeling, watched and he looked away. Probably not the smartest idea to hate stare at someone. Not her at least.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Oh, yeah, real mature Fiona."
"This guy said I could only hit you once. This is literally the only way I have to show you how much I hate you right now."
"Ouch, I'm hurt."
"Not as much as you should be."
"Jeez, you-"
The man fired into the air again.
"You two are really, really getting on my nerves. Really."
"And you're just wasting bullets. Again. I already warned you once about that."
The man (was it a man at all?) hit himself in the face. Rhys assumed it was a sad attempt at a facepalm but he seemed to have forgotten he was wearing a steel mask.
"Ow, fuc- this is all your fucking fault. I'm gonna go over there- and don't even think about running- I'm gonna take a leak and when I come back you two better get along or I swear I'm gonna say to hell with it and shoot you both in the face. Don't waste my time."
And with that he was off.
"Wonderful, now I'm alone with you and your ugly hyperion ass."
"Oh, yeah, because I'm thrilled to have you by my side. Totally."
"Jerk."
"Psycho."
Minutes passed.
"That's taking way too long for a simple leak. I'm getting seriously bored."
"You always have to complain about something, princess."
"Excuse me? I am a manly man."
"Great manly noodle arms there."
"You've been staring if you know that!"
"I..."
Hah! He caught her! Wait...the man did say they had to make up, didn't he? He had an idea.
"Hey, about that princess thing. You're bored, I'm bored, the guy's taking the longest piss in the world sooo..."
He never thought she'd agree. She did.
-
"Fucking Skags even on my favourite open world toilet. Wasted more time shooting them than actually using it. Whatever, probably let those two work whatever their fucking problem is."
He headed back to their waiting spot and thought he'd heard a giggle. What?
He was scared to look.
"Oh god. Oh fuck. Oh no. I need bleach for my innocent eyes. Is that a princess costume you're fucking wearing?! Where the hell did you even find- wait, why are you the princess?"
Rhys shrugged.
"I wanted to feel pretty, is that a crime? My gallant prince has saved me from my misery."
"Alright, when I said make up I didn't mean...this...while roleplaying... This is...this is fucking graphic, too. Forget shooting both of you. I'm just gonna shoot myself. Goodbye, world."
Bang.
"Well, I didn't think he'd do it."
"Eeek, I need my prince's comfort after this horrid image."
"Just as planned."
Hours passed before they attempted to find Vaughn and Sasha. Time flies when you're busy.
"Who knew hate was the closest thing to love, huh, lover boy? Or should I still call you princess?"
He didn't answer.
"Are you okay?"
"Fiona?"
"Huh?"
"How did he shoot himself through steel?"
"Using his iron will, of course."
"...I hate you."
"No, you don't."
He didn't
Dialogue courtesy of @ABigBadWolf
Coming soon to a forum near you.
Original 50 Shades Of Jenny: http://www.telltalegames.com/community/discussion/92009/50-shades-of-jenny-kane
Comments
I won't apologise.
you don't need to.
Oh God....
It's as @GoldenPaladin warnedthat @puzzlebox forewarned.....
The End Is Coming
Rhysha Forever Boyeee.
Well, I warned you. :^)
wheres the sex
They've been looking for a Vault Key if you know what I mean.
So Rhys is looking for a key to enter Fiona's vault, correct? I like where this is going.
God dammit where's that stupid piece of thing connected to the thing! Ah hah! Here we goooo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2iyXU-LyYY
10/10 can confirm.
"Will be recorded as one of best pieces of literature created."
-Critics everywhere
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FopyRHHlt3M&feature=player_detailpage
You all need Rhysha in your life.
Perfection.
Wrong my friend, I am hear to tell you that you might need a little more Rhyiona in your life
@Poogers555
@MetallicaRules
Looks like a new episode of Ship Wars is about to premiere live.
ur gona tak it n ur gun lek it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFhyXRnXPAU&feature=player_detailpage
Damn, you beat me to it.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Bloop...I hate you ;_;
"I don't do romance," The Hyperion idiot named Rhys said smoothly from where he was sat near the edge of the bed, dangerooously leaned close and giving her the 'winky dinky' eyes. "My taste are very...singular."
Fiona felt a chill go up her spine, but that was probably because the window of that random unnamed hotel was open and it was letting in one chilly draft tonight. "Singular, like vault key singular? Cause we're all out of those, or did you knock out some of your brains too and forget that part?"
"No not vaults...oh come on, Fiona! I'm trying to teach you the skills of a seduction from the master himself; you're killing my groove here!" Rhys whined, breaking character and she relished that, oh yeah!
Why was annoying him so much fun?
"IIIII don't think you had much a groove to begin with be giving yourself that high of a title, Rhys" Fiona remarked, flipping through the 'Blindfolds, Bondages, Fancy Hats and You' magazine as she crossed her legs on the bed. "Kinda clutching at straws there, and your socks? Nope, no sweet talking out of those. Besides I don't need your help; I can seduce whoever I want no problem, snippy snap."
Like a baby that didn't get his bottle, Rhys was up, with a really, really grumpy facey-boo on. "Then why'd the hell you ask then, huh?"
"Because the TV set's broke and I need entertainment before the next episode! So unless you're going to do another one of your sock puppet shows or keep amusing me with your eyebrows, how about going out and getting me a coffee?" Fiona said, sparing a glance to Sasha curled up asleep like a cat on the couch, and then to the loud snoring Vaughn on the floor, having collapsed from exhaustion after losing his bet to do 400 pushups.
Abs....abbbbs...
Fiona shook her head. "And um, maybe get something for the kids? Now chop chop! Don't keep a girl waiting."
The nickname was like a kick to the Hyperion crotch.
Good.
"I swear, you Pandora women get under my skin!" Rhys muttered on his way out.
"Not much as you Hyperion scum do to me," Fiona called after him sweetly.
"Gr, you! You're unbelievable!" Rhys said, shooting her a nasty look before shutting the door impolitely loud, waking up the confused munchkins from their slumber, and confusing them further for what more they were to hear.
"And remember the tampoooons!"
"Put a cork in it!"
"TAMPONS!"
"ALRIGHT!"
needs moar sex m8
Moar! Moar!
Actual princess Rhys found.