The Childfree Lifestyle: Your Thoughts?
versacebabe
Banned
Do you think its selfish to not want to have children? If so, why? If not, why? Any other thoughts too?
Personally, I don't particularly dislike kids. I just don't want any of my own. Every single person around me has kids. I'm only 22 and none of my friends can chill (except one who's cool but I'm just saying), I'm not tryna hear that shit now or in 10 years. If you wanna have a house full of kids that's your business, I'm not knocking you at all. I truly respect your shit. It's just my opinion that it would mentally incapacitate me. A bitch needs her alone time when she comes home at 6pm you know?? lol
The only people that I don't respect on this subject are the people who pester the hell out of you just because you personally don't wanna procreate. They'll tell you "oh it's your one and only purpose in your life", "you'll change your mind"...etc. Nah babe. I'm good and chillin' on my ass with my expensive ass copy of Sam & Max: Surfin' the Highway that I bought with my disposable ass income xoxo 
Comments
I'm more than twice your age and never had kids, though when I was younger I always thought I would want some. I wound up falling in love and marrying someone who wouldn't have been able to handle them, and I chose her over procreation.
I can tell you that there are times when lack of kids is really convenient. Our house doesn't have to be child-safe. We can go out anywhere we want without having to worry if it's child-friendly or finding a sitter. And of course, it's a lot cheaper. No worries about college funds!
There's also a certain emptiness associated with it, though. Fortunately, whenever I need a kid fix, we can always go visit some friends or relatives who have kids, and I can play with them. And when that gets tiring or the little ones get too obnoxious, they get handed back to their parents!
At 22, you still have lots of time to do what you want, and you might think otherwise in a few years. I wish you happiness in whatever happens.
I don't really want kids. Is that selfish? I don't know, but I can't say I give a damn.
That's the way to be.
I don't want kids, because that's not for me. It doesn't make me selfish. I applaud those who can admit they're not the parent type instead of bringing children into this world, because of peer pressure, then become lousy parents. My mom wants more grandchildren and for my niece to have a cousin, but not happening.
Empty . Just you ,your cats/dogs, or weird collections.
I love being a mother.
I don't judge for not having kids. It's not selfish at all. I would personally want kids though, but no way in hell at 22.
See, this is a really nice response. I like this one so far. I understand completely and I appreciate the lack of patronizing remarks because of my age. Although, if I ever do feel any kind of emptiness, I plan on filling it with bunnies lol
I disagree completely but I respect your thoughts! I'm glad that you love being a mother.
I don't plan on marrying, and I don't plan on having children, though I very well may adopt in the future. I'm told I'll change my mind in a few years, but I find that highly unlikely. The funny thing is I love kids and am great with them.
no its not selfish. Look some people want to make a family, that or fall in love. but that dream isn't for everyone. Having kids takes a toll, it cost lots and time costing. so the choice to have kids in the first place is a difficult one to make to begin with.
Some times health problems are an issue, some people might have problems in their DNA and therefore cant do the baby thing.
Look families are great, but don't feel like you must make one, because the world and people around you expect you to. if you want to create one for yourself then by all means do so, and you want have kids some day then fantastic.
for people who don't want kids then they can work towards other dreams/goals. Kids is not a must. there are other elements in the world to enjoy.
Wasn't this thread made a few months ago?
I have no idea, I'm relatively a noob.
Why do people keep saying that in threads? I don't know about versacebabe, but I'm not going to go digging for ancient threads. Especially from three months ago in a fairly active section. It's not like it's another "Is Lee dead?" thread. Lol If people don't want to respond again, they don't have to.
Well, this thread idea is pretty unique. When you see a unique thread remade about something, you get the impression that someone really wants it to be seen.
So it was. Ah ha. I knew I recognized it. Unless you're just saying that as an example.
Except I never stated I didn't want to respond.
Was saying that as an example.
Never said you did. Was just speaking in general. I hope it didn't come off as an attack towards you. I just see a lot of, "Wasn't this done before?" threads.
Yeah ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
It's your choice nobody else's but you have plenty of time to think
I already have a child...
Yeah, I really don't get the whole argument of, "You're selfish if you choose not to have kids."
Personally, for me, the risks of having a child outweigh the gains. Not just for myself, but for the child themselves. It's too many unknowns, you gamble way to much with having a kid. Not only that, but I severely lack maternal instinct towards children. I don't think babies are cute either, they poop and vomit, and are generally just not something I would choose to be around.
My mother has always made me feel bad about my decision, but I've known my entire life I did not want kids. My parents are starting to guilt trip me, and say I won't find anyone unless I agree to having children with them. My dad says that I'm breaking my mothers heart by not choosing to have kids. Not only that, but my parents have already decided that when they can't take care of themselves I'll be the one to take care of them. So, if I choose to have kids within the next 5 years, by the time they're out of the house, I'll be right around to caring for my parents like babies. So, no, I want to spend my life doing what I want and not being pressured by society to be a submissive house wife.
But in all honesty, I'd rather be alone, rather than spend my life hoping that when I'm old and can't care for myself, my kids might like me enough to take care of me. I'll just hope I die of something before I become completely dependent on others.
Same here except I have parents that support my choice. I'm sorry that yours are guilt tripping you. It's not right.
I'd actually like kids. My wife and I have discussed it more than once - and we're both only 30. We're actually stable enough already - which I believe is critical before even considering bringing a child into the world - and there's still time.
Fate seems to not really want me to in the form of a less-than-ideal number of swimmers per 'barrage,' though, so...choice might have been made for me. Oh well.
I don't judge. I can completely understand why people wouldn't want kids. I'm not even sure if I want kids, myself.
I can't judge, and it's their choice, but they're missing out on one of the best things in life.
It's a personal choice. Some people are not adept to raise children and I can't judge that.
If you're ready in all aspects, you should probably do it. Time slips between your fingers, and fertility problems can arise around that age, and then it might be impossible.
Some people find meaning in other areas such as hobbies and professions. More time to focus on yourself
It really depends on the person. I'm really glad I have two daughters, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with someone not wanting any kids.
Yes and she acts like you're not gonna have a significant other of any kind lol
Wouldn't put too much weight on what she thinks js
I'm twenty nine years old, and have no kids. I pay my taxes, give to charities, go to church, play with my dogs.
My dogs are my kids. I love to take them to mcdonalds, and get them chicken nuggets.
If i meet my second wife one day, maybe but i don't see that happening.
It's completely fine if somebody just doesn't want to have any kids.
Never could stand those little fuckers.
Oh I'm not don't worry lol
I think any parent would want their kids to experience life, not get tied down with "life enders." My sister was 32 when she had her first child. I think its important to find yourself in your twenties, and to get comfortable being you. Biggest problem in Murica is kids having kids.
THIS^
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I will not judge that choice and, of course, it is not selfish (this is the first time that I saw someone saying that "no children = selfish"). I respect that choice like many other choices but, if you let me have an opinion...
You're only 22. I'll bet that, in about 10 to 20 years, you'll change your mind or have a different opinion about having children. I'm sure that you've already changed your mind on verious subjects in your life. Now, do you still have the same opinions and ideas when you were 12? I think not. As for many people, there will be a moment in life when someone will be stable enough with their partner and want to try something different (like having children).
As I said before, that choice is not bad at all; although, in my humble opinion, I would like to have children when I'm sure that they will have a decent (or perfect) life.
Um how is that bitchy? You basically just said our lives were completely empty simply because we elect not to reproduce. Just pointing it out.
If you are a mother... god help that child. Teach it not to have a filter or regard for people's feelings and opinions
I understand what you're saying and respect it fully. But I hear that "you'll change your mind" jargon all the time from people and it goes in one ear and out the other. However, the choice is already made. My tubes are burned lol
I hope your kids grow up to be really nice people and you give them the best childhood ever. I'm glad you're not thinking of mindlessly popping them out for welfare or something crazy like that lol