Does true love exist or is love just a illusion?
in General Chat
I read that scientifically true love doesn't exist and a lot of scientists people seem to agree on this. I hope it does exist. What do you think? Is love just a illusion?
Sign in to comment in this discussion.
I think it does. But I think it's a rare occurrence and it doesn't happen to everyone. It definitely explains all those old couples who've been together for 50+ years and the ones who still manage to love each other even if everything seems impossible.
Like with soulmates. I believe we have many, not just one, and they don't have to be romantic either. They can be family members, friends, pets, etc. They're just beings with whom you happen to have a strong spiritual connection. Unfortunately, some people can go their whole lives without meeting their soulmate.
( I'm going to be speaking not only of romantic love, but just about love in general.)
To put it plainly, true love is only an illusion for people who have a "me first" attitude.
People who are selfish, and who live a self-centered lifestyle, will never truly know what love is.
True love is not selfish, but rather selfless.
When you love someone, you will put yourself out for that person, even when it is not always convenient.
How selfless is true love?
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13. (KJV)
True love motivates, it doesn't make passive.
If you love someone, you will tell someone what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.
True love is not just shown in words, but also in action.
When you truly care about someone, your words and actions will reflect that.
Anyone who says they love someone, but who's actions do not reflect it, are hypocritical liars; who lie mostly to themselves, and should be avoided like the plague.
True love endures all things.
If you truly care about someone, you will never lose faith in them.
And you will always hope that if they are on a bad course, that they might one day turn around.
It does exist. It's like a treasure waiting to be discovered. The way to find it is to pursue your dreams and meet girls/guys who share your passions. Then it's only a matter of time before you find someone where there's great chemistry and love will flourish.
I want to believe pure love exists, but my feelings are not objective and no matter how much you love someone, it always stems from the selfish need to satisfy your own desires.
I'd like to believe something like that exists though, because it's the only thing worth living for in my opinion.
Love isn't real, and there is not someone for everyone out there. These are nice little stories we tell to kids so they won't cry themselves to sleep. It's like if everyone never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
But you take pleasure in the act of helping a loved one, so it is not entirely selfless.
In helping another person of whom you love, you take pleasure in doing so. Thus, you have a selfish motive for loving.
Reality exists independant of us and conciousness, and love is a construct invented by humans. I would say true love, or love in general for that matter, does not exist in a practical sense that we are used to when we look at it from a scientific point of view, but it does exist in a metaphorical sense.
It's not an illusion it's a fairy tale
I think it's subjective, there are those who can achieve true love and those who can't no matter what. Of course, it's all a matter of how much oxytocin our brain injects in us.
I think the only true love that exists is the one between you and your parents and family members or close friends. Other than that I think it just doesn't exist.
These threads get more depressing everyday. Yes it exists and science has nothing to do with it.
And, if Futurama has a say, schtup your grandmother...
I'm going to be showing my age with this one, but fuck it:
enter link description here
What kind of true love are we talking about here? Perfect love like portrayed in romance / movies, or love at first sight? Never-ending love? What exactly is your definition of true love?
I think that very few are lucky enough to find someone with whom they are so compatible with and so happy with that they experience a more sincere form of love that we could call 'true love'. But too often people settle because they're scared they won't find someone so they convince themselves they are in love with that person so they won't be alone or so that they have bragging rights for some reason or because they simply feel societal pressure to pair off and pop out babies. I've seen it happen quiet a bit in my life, and despite wanting to date and have a boyfriend and get married one day, I also know that at 23 I have better chances of finding someone I love for who they are rather than loving them for being convenient to my situation.
I also know I was head over heels in love with this dude about 9 years ago. And 9 years later I still have my issues getting over him and how things between us were left off. I don't think I'll ever find someone like him again, but I do think I will find someone whom I will love enough to share my life with and be even better for me than him. And through time I learned that he wasn't really right for me, last I heard about him was he spent all day playing video games and asking his mom for money to buy shit. He still parties every weekend, doesn't have a degree and sleeps with any girl who opens her legs for him. So, I kinda think that despite my feelings towards him he really wasn't right for me. So, even if he was the love of my life and will be the only one to make me feel the way I did, I know I'm better off without him or with someone else.
Everyone's love life and situation is different.
Perfect love is boring, their's no room for growth or experience and learning through hardship when love is 'perfect' or 'true'. Perfection is boring, there's a reason why the worlds NOT perfect. In all my books I have my romantic couples go through hell in their relationship before finally settling down with one another. It makes things more interesting and also lets me know that they can go through hell again after their 'happily ever after' and still make it through the tough times.
So, long story not so short, don't have your standards so high that perfection is the only option. Make your own definition of true love that is both realistic and reassuring, and you will find your 'true love' one day.
True love, or love in general, doesn't exist in any quantifiable sense. That being said I do believe two people can feel love for eachother. I don't believe most couples really feel this.
One perk of not being afraid of dying alone is that one can happily not settle with someone they don't truly appreciate and enjoy. If I find someone I like, or love, then it's just a bonus!
I seem to think of GlaDOS from Portal whenever I read this.
enter link description here
I don't love my only sister and basically 90% of my family so nope, it doesn't necessarily exist even in that case.
Unfortunately, some people can go their whole lives without meeting their soulmate.
But what is a soulmate? And what if your soulmate is, say, Japanese when you're in the US? If that's the case, true love is darn near impossible for all of us!
Hollywood makes good money playing up the passion for us, entertaining our needs to be wanted and such. The reality is that true love (as if I know for a fact???) is hard & messy. In the long term you'll be madly in love with someone one day, then completely frustrated with them the next--and they could feel the same about you. You get to see the best and worst in that person.
And maybe things run out of steam years down the road. Doesn't make it any less real.
But the couples who have loved each other until the very end get all that and more in the form of a partnership. They (hopefully) build trust, memories and meaning throughout life.
At least, that's how I feel today.
Thanks for the answer. It was a great answer. What caused to me ask this question, was that I have recently found out that we call love is really just a chemical reaction in the brain. What I meant by true love, was what we considered love to be before everyone found out it was a chemical reaction in the brain.my definition of Love is just a strong feeling of affection for someone .I was asking does real love exist as we knew it before the chemical thing was known , or is it simply just people's hormones(such as oxytocin) just tricking them into thinking they love that person. This might not make sense, i hope it does.
Yes, it does, at leats that's what I believe. But it's pretty hard to achieve it.
There are couples who have been together for 80-something years and are still in love. My grandparents-in-law are a good example of this, they're still like a freshly wed couple in older bodies. 80 years later.
If that ain't love, then I don't know what is.
I think people's own feelings do a better job of tricking them into being in love with someone more than the chemicals do nowadays. I think in the beginning when we were all animals and not yet bipedal intelligent humans, our chemicals / Hormones / nature make males want sex and pursue sex and reproduction while the same made females want to be mothers / caretakers blah blah blah. No love, just reproduction due to nature. But I think it's part of evolution that we were able to romanticize the chemical reaction / feeling and it became something more meaningful, some thing that we can define ourselves. Something that despite the sex were born as we don't choose to be exactly what nature made us. We were able to develop or own will and opinions and instead of just mating we made mating into marriage and then love. Love was then romanticized and reproduction isn't just to make more people to work and make money, a luxury we now have is to get married to someone we care for someone we might even love to spend our lives with. So to answer your question, science bring to light the reason why we felt these things. Just because our bodies released chemicals to make us feel a certain way doesn't make that feeling we feel any less valid
So I believe it can be nature, because evolution made us smarter and allowed us to make deeper meanings to things than what originally existed. So yeah sure, chemicals induce the reaction in everything our bodies do. It's just the way it works. But love is a checmical reaction that makes us feel close to another. Just because it's chemicals doesnt make it any less valid.
The way I see it, is that love is what we make of it. We can choose to believe that love is a agonizing but wonderful feeling of desire and emotion, or we can believe love is simply the chemical reaction of our bodies due to nature to breed. Or we can believe that both exist and have a wonderful mixture that allows us to feel things but to also have these feelings because science induces the chemical reaction.
Hope that helps!
Love is a conflicting emotion, just like hatred. Beyond all the illusions we hold, we're animals and in our genes is the desire to reproduce only. However, we also have a sense of time which helps us understand that we can form bonds beyond our own control with others. Me personally, I think romance is a concept that only certain people can inherent. It takes more than attraction to understand, I had my chance and blew it so now I focus on other protocols of happiness.
Half empty, half full. Love is merely a concept.
Yes, love does exist. There have been couples who've been with each other for many years. If they put up with each other/actually care for each other and not leave their spouse for a huge opportunity then it's true love.
I think that those old couples don't separate more because of convenience rather than love. Most of them just get used to each other and don't want to start a new life, because it's a drag and if you have kids, it's also a drag for them.
Because the chemicals released in the brain that stimulates affection has all of a sudden become non-existent?
You don’t need to create a bond in order to survive
Well I’d have to ask what your definition of true love is. Is it romantic love? Love in general?
If you’re religious than Christianity will tell you humans are not capable of perfect true love in a sinful state. In fact many major religions will teach love for your fellow man and the golden rule as an ultimate goal.
Even if you’re not religious if you feel what you consider love towards someone or something why let science make you doubt whether what you feel is real?
Edit: yes it exists
Why do you believe in such a thing? It might be that the thought of having a family of your own makes you excited of what the future might bring. However people need to grow up and stop pretending as it’s real, get over it my friend
There is no definition for true love, general love and romantic love, they are an illusion and a trick of the mind. Love is just what we want to feel towards another person and it is just an idea in our heads. Plus I have no response to your doubt on science.
So everything you see, hear, smell, taste and feel are all neural creations of your mind
Because couples don't want to face reality. They want to avoid the fact that life is not this jolly positive world
Science has a lot to it lol. Love is not an emotion it's the things that you do for people you both like and hopefully don't like. Even when it means doing things you definitely don't like to do. It's something you do whether you're happy or sad or mad or hurt or lost. You do it because it's what you do. Not because of what you feel.
Wow! That was very detailed of you. For your own sake try facing reality, there was no need in responding to my message if you will not explain to me why you believe in such a thing.
I’d say even though love is conjured in the mind that doesn’t make it any less real as you can see it’s impact in everyday life. I’ve felt love, I’m not going to let a study make me doubt my understanding of it.