God damn it... Penn really makes me sick beyond words. It was nice that Willem finally called her out on her stupidity, but her "arguments" once again showed just how shallow and dumb she truly is. I mean, it takes a special kind of stupid not to realize the consequences of 24 kids fighting each other to the death. And all of her 'Purpose in life'-shit... She has to be as dumb as a brick to believe this crap. By now, I'm done with her. I just hope she dies as soon as possible, without ruining any more lives. Willem is alright though and I respect him for what he said to Penn. Sadly, I can't root for him either, because I don't want Boz to be rewarded for that shit he pulled off. Poor Ulysses deserved better. He should have shot Penn as well. That way, he would have done the world a favour.
80% of readers chose to [A. Rush Ulysses.]
Death. It was a word Penn thought she knew. Before that moment, she thought she understood w… morehat she wanted. She would tell herself she was destined for the Hunger Games. But, now, two lay dead around her, both by her hand. And for the first time since she woke up, Penn was paralyzed with a sense of life and death. Two lives were just ripped away... Because she had been foolish enough to throw that knife one last time. The next tears that fell from her eyes felt like the first she would ever take in a long stream.
Dray's face looked confused, and it would forever remain that way. To an extent, Penn felt the same way. She asked herself why this had to happen. But then, she knew she had the answer... If she hadn't dragged Dray along on her journey to District 9... If she hadn't decided to throw that one last knife... He would still be alive. Penn was the center of attention now. But it was not a… [view original content]
God damn it... Penn really makes me sick beyond words. It was nice that Willem finally called her out on her stupidity, but her "arguments" … moreonce again showed just how shallow and dumb she truly is. I mean, it takes a special kind of stupid not to realize the consequences of 24 kids fighting each other to the death. And all of her 'Purpose in life'-shit... She has to be as dumb as a brick to believe this crap. By now, I'm done with her. I just hope she dies as soon as possible, without ruining any more lives. Willem is alright though and I respect him for what he said to Penn. Sadly, I can't root for him either, because I don't want Boz to be rewarded for that shit he pulled off. Poor Ulysses deserved better. He should have shot Penn as well. That way, he would have done the world a favour.
Wow... Well, for one thing, she doesn't really believe in the purpose in life thing any more. She did when she set off, but after what happened, she's really just clinging to that excuse as a lifeline so she doesn't have to totally come to terms with the fact that she's wrong yet.
God damn it... Penn really makes me sick beyond words. It was nice that Willem finally called her out on her stupidity, but her "arguments" … moreonce again showed just how shallow and dumb she truly is. I mean, it takes a special kind of stupid not to realize the consequences of 24 kids fighting each other to the death. And all of her 'Purpose in life'-shit... She has to be as dumb as a brick to believe this crap. By now, I'm done with her. I just hope she dies as soon as possible, without ruining any more lives. Willem is alright though and I respect him for what he said to Penn. Sadly, I can't root for him either, because I don't want Boz to be rewarded for that shit he pulled off. Poor Ulysses deserved better. He should have shot Penn as well. That way, he would have done the world a favour.
Since he was a young boy, he knew he drew strength from Oberyn Martell. It was the reason, that when he stepped into District 9, raging with fury, he knew he would kill Penn. As his combat boots felt the earth beneath his feet, he clicked his shotgun off of safety mode and stepped towards the crowd. Everyone who saw him knew shit was about to get real.
He took a puff from his cigar and shouted "PENN CASSIDY!" It was so loud, the very ground shook, and every person within a mile pissed their pants.
"What the fuck do you want?" Penn asked back, stepping through the crowd. "How dare you interept my story?"
"I bear a message from Satan." Liquid uttered the words with a harshness in his voice. "He wants his attitude back."
The clouds parted and a beam of radiant light shone down from the heavens, illuminating Ted's broadsword until it was a fiery shade of blue. He leaned into kiss it to imbue the touch of noble Dornish blood. With the power of his hatred behind him, he heaved the mighty weapon into the air above young Pennelope's head and muttered, "This is how we do it in Chicago, baby."
With the might of one thousand roid-pumped oxen, he brought the sword down onto Penn's neck until her head separated from her shoulders. She then looked up at her killer and frowned. "What the fuck..." She whispered, just before sticking her tongue past her lips. She then fell dead on the steps of the auditorium.
Boz stared in disbelief down at the melted solid, and took no time before throwing his top hat in his direction. "What have you done? She was our only hope!"
Oh my god... I never knew how much I needed such a part until now. This is by far the best thing I've ever read in my life. Thank you. My life is complete now. Also, I hope this part is going to be canon. It's going to be canon for me at least. As for the choice, I'm totally going to put on shades. I don't smoke. Technically, at least.
Chapter 17: Shit Gets Real
LiquidChicagoTed
Since he was a young boy, he knew he drew strength from Oberyn Martell. It was the reason,… more that when he stepped into District 9, raging with fury, he knew he would kill Penn. As his combat boots felt the earth beneath his feet, he clicked his shotgun off of safety mode and stepped towards the crowd. Everyone who saw him knew shit was about to get real.
He took a puff from his cigar and shouted "PENN CASSIDY!" It was so loud, the very ground shook, and every person within a mile pissed their pants.
"What the fuck do you want?" Penn asked back, stepping through the crowd. "How dare you interept my story?"
"I bear a message from Satan." Liquid uttered the words with a harshness in his voice. "He wants his attitude back."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The clouds parted and a beam of radiant light shone down from the heavens, illuminating Ted's broadsword until it was a fiery shade o… [view original content]
Yeah, I have realized that of course. If she would have had that realization earlier, I would have been willing to give her a chance. However, now it is a classic case of too little, too late. A mere change of attitude won't be enough anymore. I mean, it seriously took the death of her boyfriend and the accidental murder of an innocent girl to make her even start to realize how obviously flawed her "logic" is. She already ruined four lives before the games started and at least in her father's case, she even did it on purpose. Still, up until she got Emmy killed with her arrogance and selfishness, I still saw a chance for her to become a better person. Sure, I was annoyed by her selfishness and stupidity from the very beginning. This stuff about the games being her only chance at a purpose in life already told me enough about her personality. This chapter however was the one that made me truly hate her with a passion. Killing Emmy and getting Dray and Ulysses killed as well puts her firmly into the 'irredeemable'-category. I mean, Marten killed someone as well, but at least he had a sympathetic motive and is an overall likeable character, while the guy he killed was an extraordinary scumbag. Even the other tributes have at least the excuse that they are forced to kill in the games. Penn however was already deeply unlikeable before she crossed the line and after this chapter, I'm done with her. She ruined enough lives and I'm afraid that she's going to ruin even more lives in the near future, so I don't see any chance of redemption for her anytime soon. So far, she is the only tribute where I'm saying this, but she seriously deserves to die in the games.
Wow... Well, for one thing, she doesn't really believe in the purpose in life thing any more. She did when she set off, but after what happe… morened, she's really just clinging to that excuse as a lifeline so she doesn't have to totally come to terms with the fact that she's wrong yet.
Oh my god... I never knew how much I needed such a part until now. This is by far the best thing I've ever read in my life. Thank you. My li… morefe is complete now. Also, I hope this part is going to be canon. It's going to be canon for me at least. As for the choice, I'm totally going to put on shades. I don't smoke. Technically, at least.
Yeah, I have realized that of course. If she would have had that realization earlier, I would have been willing to give her a chance. Howeve… morer, now it is a classic case of too little, too late. A mere change of attitude won't be enough anymore. I mean, it seriously took the death of her boyfriend and the accidental murder of an innocent girl to make her even start to realize how obviously flawed her "logic" is. She already ruined four lives before the games started and at least in her father's case, she even did it on purpose. Still, up until she got Emmy killed with her arrogance and selfishness, I still saw a chance for her to become a better person. Sure, I was annoyed by her selfishness and stupidity from the very beginning. This stuff about the games being her only chance at a purpose in life already told me enough about her personality. This chapter however was the one that made me truly hate her with a passion. Killing Emmy and getting … [view original content]
You uncovered my old shame XD I remember, that was back after Penn's first part, when I knew nothing about her personality. She was actually quite likeable in her first part, as a result of her confusion and amnesia. Starting with her second chapter, her real personality started to shine through.
And I didn't predict this much hate for Penn haha. I'm hoping by the end I can at least bring her up to meh.
It wouldn't be the first time I'd be proven wrong with my initial opinion about a character. Don't count on it though. I'm actually a bit surprised about my hatred for Penn, because usually I reserve this level of hatred for characters who are either much worse (like Snow for example), or who actually harm my favourite characters. It's odd that Penn is on the receiving end of my hate, but at the same time, it's definitely not undeserved
My second favourite at the moment is either Saul or Penn.
Not since the very beginning :P
And I didn't predict this much hate for Penn haha. I'm hoping by the end I can at least bring her up to meh.
I would probably feel a little bit sorry for her if she wouldn't be at fault for all the bad stuff that happened in her storyline. See it that way, everything happened as a result of her own, suicidally stupid decisions. A number of people close to her called her out on how flawed her plans are, but she decides to go through with them despite the warnings her father and Dray gave her and that means that it is all entirely her fault. The last trace of pity I had for her faded when she killed an innocent girl and caused the death of her own boyfriend and the father of the girl she killed. That's where I draw the line and in my eyes, there is no coming back from that. There are full-fledged main villains in other stories who did less horrible things. And considering that she is soon going to be in the games, I'm sure she's going to kill even more people and the thought is only causing me to hate her even more.
I would probably feel a little bit sorry for her if she wouldn't be at fault for all the bad stuff that happened in her storyline. See it th… moreat way, everything happened as a result of her own, suicidally stupid decisions. A number of people close to her called her out on how flawed her plans are, but she decides to go through with them despite the warnings her father and Dray gave her and that means that it is all entirely her fault. The last trace of pity I had for her faded when she killed an innocent girl and caused the death of her own boyfriend and the father of the girl she killed. That's where I draw the line and in my eyes, there is no coming back from that. There are full-fledged main villains in other stories who did less horrible things. And considering that she is soon going to be in the games, I'm sure she's going to kill even more people and the thought is only causing me to hate her even more.
I would probably feel a little bit sorry for her if she wouldn't be at fault for all the bad stuff that happened in her storyline. See it th… moreat way, everything happened as a result of her own, suicidally stupid decisions. A number of people close to her called her out on how flawed her plans are, but she decides to go through with them despite the warnings her father and Dray gave her and that means that it is all entirely her fault. The last trace of pity I had for her faded when she killed an innocent girl and caused the death of her own boyfriend and the father of the girl she killed. That's where I draw the line and in my eyes, there is no coming back from that. There are full-fledged main villains in other stories who did less horrible things. And considering that she is soon going to be in the games, I'm sure she's going to kill even more people and the thought is only causing me to hate her even more.
Chapter 17: Shit Gets Real
LiquidChicagoTed
Since he was a young boy, he knew he drew strength from Oberyn Martell. It was the reason,… more that when he stepped into District 9, raging with fury, he knew he would kill Penn. As his combat boots felt the earth beneath his feet, he clicked his shotgun off of safety mode and stepped towards the crowd. Everyone who saw him knew shit was about to get real.
He took a puff from his cigar and shouted "PENN CASSIDY!" It was so loud, the very ground shook, and every person within a mile pissed their pants.
"What the fuck do you want?" Penn asked back, stepping through the crowd. "How dare you interept my story?"
"I bear a message from Satan." Liquid uttered the words with a harshness in his voice. "He wants his attitude back."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The clouds parted and a beam of radiant light shone down from the heavens, illuminating Ted's broadsword until it was a fiery shade o… [view original content]
That would be one way to make me regret my words XD Though, just because she allies with Aura doesn't automatically mean that I like her. Of course, it would give her plenty of opportunities to become more likeable in my eyes, but it would still be a lot of work. However, I doubt any of our PoV characters will get into an alliance with each other. It's more likely that they will mainly interact with some of the non-PoV tributes.
Chapter 17: Shit Gets Real
LiquidChicagoTed
Since he was a young boy, he knew he drew strength from Oberyn Martell. It was the reason,… more that when he stepped into District 9, raging with fury, he knew he would kill Penn. As his combat boots felt the earth beneath his feet, he clicked his shotgun off of safety mode and stepped towards the crowd. Everyone who saw him knew shit was about to get real.
He took a puff from his cigar and shouted "PENN CASSIDY!" It was so loud, the very ground shook, and every person within a mile pissed their pants.
"What the fuck do you want?" Penn asked back, stepping through the crowd. "How dare you interept my story?"
"I bear a message from Satan." Liquid uttered the words with a harshness in his voice. "He wants his attitude back."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The clouds parted and a beam of radiant light shone down from the heavens, illuminating Ted's broadsword until it was a fiery shade o… [view original content]
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a friend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella's. She sucked in her gut and prepared herself for the lecture she would inevitably receive from her father upon arriving.
Yet, as she stepped closer, Aura noticed something very strange. The door hung ajar, by one hinge. The top one had finally rusted away enough to give... But Rowan would never leave the door open like that. He was always scolding each of them about the draft. She clutched the small owl pendant tight and placed it into her pocket, starting to run towards the door.
When she reached it, she wasn't greeted with harsh words, but instead with nothingness. The room inside looked empty. It wasn't trashed like the open door would suggest. In fact, it was almost cleaner than when she left. She found this baffling, as Rowan was piss drunk when she left.
She walked into the room and closed the door behind her, making sure it didn't fall over completely as it shut. She walked forward to the kitchen table and noticed a small note. She picked it up in her left hand and couldn't help but hold a hand over her mouth in shock. It read:
"Dear Aura,
"I am sorry that I haven't been as good a father to you as I should have. After all these years I'm still just one drink away from throwing some shit at the wall. I'm not afraid to admit that I could have tried harder over the years. All that mattered to me were the Games and my booze... Aura... I'm proud of you after today for what courage you showed at the Reaping, even if it didn't turn out well. Thank you for hearing my words last night. You have earned that Cantarella name despite me.
"But now, by the time you get home, I will already be gone. You have convinced me that I am not the one you need for a father. I am reckless. I am stupid. You deserve more. Your uncle Crispin will be there to take care of the boys while you're away. I'm sorry that we didn't leave each other on the right foot, but I still love you, no matter how hard it is for me to show it.
"Sorry... Daddy."
A wave of many different emotions flooded Aura's mind. One of them was regret. The last thing she said to her father was that she hated him... Even upon her worst enemy she wouldn't wish that fate. Another of them, though, was anger. Rowan was just going to leave the three of them alone with Crispin. Aura wasn't sure what the man was like when they were growing up together, but he was a completely different one now.
In a rush of fury, she clutched the note in her hand and tore it into many small pieces. She felt betrayed... Abandoned... She felt like the walls of her life were collapsing in on her... Drowning her. It was a terribly overwhelming sensation. She felt more alone now than she ever did before. She threw the scraps of paper and screamed in agony. When she collapsed onto the table, she felt as though she couldn't handle much more.
"I see you got your note." Said someone from the right of her. She opened her eyes and glanced over. She spotted her uncle, Crispin leaning against the doorway. His thick eyebrows wrapped tightly to his eyes, giving him an even more sinister appearance.
"Crispin!" Aura shouted back. "What the hell are you doing here?! Where are my brothers?!"
"Whoa!" He laughed, bringing his hands to motion for calm. "No 'Hey Uncle Crispin. It's great to see you?' What's gotten into you, Aura?"
"Corvin and Barker. Where are they?"
"Oh they're fine. They're in bed, honey." He came forward and sat on the table next to his niece. "We need to work on your manners. You aren't going anywhere with your attitude."
Crispin was a relatively tall man in his late thirties with short brown hair wrapping around his scalp. He won the third games, at a very young age, and although Rowan was older, it was Crispin's play in the arena that inspired him to volunteer. His eyes were very spread from his nose, giving him a sinister appearance. It matched perfectly his personality. Crispin was not a man Aura enjoyed being around... For great reason...
But Aura out off her loathing of her uncle for a moment to ask a needed question. "Did you see my father before he left? Why did he go?"
"No." Crispin answered. "When I got here, he was already gone. Vanished into thin air. Probably sitting at a bar some place... Pity. He isn't good to raise a family... Not like me..."
"I know my Dad can be a piece of shit sometimes-"
She was immediately cut short by his words. "Oh, you got that right."
"But this doesn't seem like something he would do..." Aura looked down at the shredded pieces of the note, trying to place them back together in her mind. "He was a stubborn guy... It's one of the reasons he's such a hardass, but he was stubborn about his family too... It doesn't make any sense to me..."
"Rowan is gone." Crispin stated plainly, bringing his eyes into creases. "It cuts deep like a motherfucker, but you have to forget about him. I'm all the family you need." He stood up from his seat and placed his hand on the counter. "In a way... I could even be your father... Would you like that? I could be your daddy!"
Crispin began to come forward towards her, but she spat hard on the table before he managed to invade her space. "You're lucky we're even related, asshole." Aura stood up from her chair and stormed toward the door to her bedroom, but one question was left in her mind before she reached it. "Crispin..." She said, turning around slowly in the doorway. "Do you know someone by the name Schrodinger?"
"Can't say I do." He replied, turning away from her to ponder. But, he didn't come up with anything. "Who is that? Is it a boy?"
Aura reached into her pocket and clutched the owl pendant inside. "No. Just someone I heard about..." She turned into her room and as the light from her lamp washed over her face, she shut the door behind her. She let go of the pendant and whispered to herself. "The Owl is a friend..."
She sat on her bed for a few minutes, but then laid down. Her pillow felt very soft, almost velvety, just like it did that morning. There were a few perks to living in a rich neighborhood. She doubted any other people in this District could claim to have such luxury. It sickened her... She wanted to take everything she had and go give it to those who really needed it. There were some in this District that have never even felt a pillow. Unfortunately, she only had one. It was just one more thing she would have to say goodbye to.
As the though passed through Aura's head, the door creaked open, and she checked to see who it was. She saw Corvin's face peeking just through the crack. When he saw it was his older sister, he quietly entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Aura, you're home!" He whispered. "What took you so long? You've been gone forever."
"Sorry, bud. I had to make a stop by the Haven before I came home." She tilted her head in an apologetic manner. "Where's your brother?"
"Asleep. I couldn't go to sleep with his snoring in there. You spent a really long time there." Corvin said. "We ate the entire banana bread you bought us."
Aura frowned slightly, but then sat up on her bed and ruffled the boy's hair. "I was hoping you'd save some for me."
Corvin sat down on the bed next to his sister. "You took too long. We figured we had to punish you some way."
She shook her head, chuckling. "I plead guilty."
"So you're really going to volunteer for the Hunger Games?" He questioned her, with worry in his eye. "Dad said you were going to give us another house to live in."
"Wait, you saw Dad?" Aura ignored his question, asking one of her own. "Did he say why he left?"
"No." He responded, seeming bewildered. "He just told us to go out and play... And when we came back inside, Uncle Crispin was there... When's he coming back?"
Aura covered her mouth with her hand. Not only had her father left without the intention of ever returning, but he also left without saying goodbye to his sons. She couldn't bring herself to tell Corvin the truth, so she fabricated a lie in its place. "He's... He's coming back soon. Probably not for a week or so."
"Where did he go?"
"He didn't tell me."
"Why didn't he tell you?"
"I don't know..."
Corvin looked towards the door of Aura's room and she knew he was thinking about who resided on the other side. "We have to stay with Uncle Crispin?" He asked with pleading eyes. Aura could never say no to them. "I don't want to. The last time we stayed with him-"
"Don't." Aura interrupted him. "Don't think about that. Look, I know that Crispin is dangerous, but you need to stay with him for a while."
"Can I just run away?" He began to grow frantic. "I swear I'll come back once you get back from your trip."
The words hit her hard in the chest. When her brother entered the room, Aura was hoping this would be a chance to say goodbye to him, but as the conversation progressed, the hope of that ever happening slimmed into nothing. Now, she would only tell him what he needed to hear. "It's not a good idea to run away. If Crispin comes after you... I don't even want to think about what would happen."
"But he wouldn't find me!"
"But he'll be looking..." Aura replied. "He may be a piece of shit, but-"
"Swear."
"Sorry. He may be a piece of poop, but he will do anything to keep a promise." She looked back towards the door and made an effort to keep her voice down. "He has to watch you until I get back. He will look for you. It's dangerous to run."
"It's dangerous to stay too though!" Corvin cried, mirroring the volume of Aura's last statement. "I mean, Aura, he's Uncle Crispin. Do you really think Barker and I would be safe spending a week here alone with him?"
Ooh! Another Hunger Games fanfiction! Too bad I'm too late to join in on the fun, haha. So far, I've read the first two parts and they are amazing. Hopefully I'll be able to get caught up with the story^^
Damn, I did not see this twist coming. I mean, the letter from Aura's father, it almost felt as if he was genuinely sorry. At the same time, I have the feeling that something is not quite right here. Maybe I really misjudged him, but he did not appear to me like the kind of person that would even be able to feel regret. And Aura said it herself, something is not right here. Why would someone as stubborn as him just vanish after he just got everything he wanted? One of the theories I have is that he realized that it is in fact not everything he wanted, that he is seriously regretful and, even though it is a bit far fetched, that he might even be Schrodinger, sort of like a secret alias to support his daughter and to make up for all the shit he put her through, knowing that she would never accept his help if he would openly show himself and reveal his identity. That would be a rather heartwarming twist. The other, sadly far more likely theory I have is that he never actually wrote this letter, at least not out of his own free will. I assume, in the likely case that Rowan hasn't left because he is genuinely sorry, that he was either forced to leave by Crispin, who seems to have his own agenda, or that he was even killed by him, to get him out of the way and that this letter was either forged by Crispin or that he forced Rowan to write it, to make it seem as if he left all by himself.
Speaking of Crispin... hell, that guy is creepy. I got some really bad vibes from him and I seriously don't know what to expect of him. Originally, I have intended for him to be kind of the good counterpart to the utter jerk that is Aura's father and that she actually has sort of a positive opinion on him, but I think this part proved that he is anything but. I have to say, I certainly like this change you made, as I am now absolutely unsure what kind of person he really is. As I said, I wouldn't put it past him to have a secret agenda in this matter, that he arranged for Rowan to leave the family in some way, so that he can pursue whatever his goal is. I have read some pretty worrying stuff into his lines here, some of which has been pure nightmare fuel to me. I mean, he really seemed to get off on the thought of being Aura's father from now on, in a downright disturbing way, which only increased my suspicion that he might have something to do with Rowan going missing.
Now my vote. I am afraid for the boys, I seriously am. They are Aura's only family and definitely her reason to carry on in the games, to do everything she can to get back to them. If anything happens to them before she leaves for the games, she is certainly going to be devastated by it and I doubt she'd make it in the games for long if she looses her will to fight. But if she really wins and returns home only to find that Crispin snapped in some way and killed her brothers, then this will similarly devastate her and might turn her into a person not unlike her father or her uncle. Yet at the same time, I have voted for them to stay with Crispin, mostly because I don't know what kind of person he is and how he will react if his nephews run away from him. As I said, he was originally meant to be the good uncle, so there might be something of his original characterisation left underneath these creepy characteristics he has. His part here on the other hand hinted at the fact that he is a very bad and messed up person, so I have no idea how he will react, what his plans are and what he might do if he gets angry. I think Corvin and Barker know how to deal with someone who gets angry easily, they have survived for so long under an abusive drunkard with a nasty temper. Running away from him will certainly enrage Crispin. And he won the games for a reason. I am sure he has some mad tracking skills and in that case, it is likely that he will find the boys and will kill them and Cass for angering him. Staying with him, doing everything he says and keeping their head down for a week might be the only chance they have, at least the way I see it.
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a fr… moreiend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella'… [view original content]
Ooh! Another Hunger Games fanfiction! Too bad I'm too late to join in on the fun, haha. So far, I've read the first two parts and they are amazing. Hopefully I'll be able to get caught up with the story^^
Damn, I did not see this twist coming. I mean, the letter from Aura's father, it almost felt as if he was genuinely sorry. At the same time,… more I have the feeling that something is not quite right here. Maybe I really misjudged him, but he did not appear to me like the kind of person that would even be able to feel regret. And Aura said it herself, something is not right here. Why would someone as stubborn as him just vanish after he just got everything he wanted? One of the theories I have is that he realized that it is in fact not everything he wanted, that he is seriously regretful and, even though it is a bit far fetched, that he might even be Schrodinger, sort of like a secret alias to support his daughter and to make up for all the shit he put her through, knowing that she would never accept his help if he would openly show himself and reveal his identity. That would be a rather heartwarming twist. The other, sadly far more likely theory I… [view original content]
It's fine. I indeed didn't wrote much about him, but looking through the stuff I wrote, I saw that towards the very end of the submission, when I detailed her horrible relationship with Rowan, I wrote this:
She gets along far better with her uncle Crispin, who treats her almost like a daughter.
Which is about all I've written about him aside from the fact that he won the games shortly after his older brother. But I'm very okay with the change, it makes things a lot more intriguing for me. Originally, it was planned to be sort of like a classical good/evil situation in this family, with Aura's father as the irredeemable asshole and Aura's uncle as the good guy in contrast, to make Rowan look even worse in comparison. But now I feel like it makes the situation a bit more complex. It gives Aura's father a bit more depth, at least if the letter indeed turns out to be genuine, and it also turns Crispin into a more interesting character for me. With Aura's father, I always knew how he would react in certain situations, but I know nothing about this new Crispin and I am genuinely afraid what kind of person the games made out of him. I just hope he is not a complete monster
haha, yeah you have a bunch of text to sort out in your descriptions of characters. Sometimes a few things get lost in translation. But yeah, the whole thing with Aura's father and Schrodinger is the first step on a bit of an overarching plot of the whole book.
It's fine. I indeed didn't wrote much about him, but looking through the stuff I wrote, I saw that towards the very end of the submission, w… morehen I detailed her horrible relationship with Rowan, I wrote this:
She gets along far better with her uncle Crispin, who treats her almost like a daughter.
Which is about all I've written about him aside from the fact that he won the games shortly after his older brother. But I'm very okay with the change, it makes things a lot more intriguing for me. Originally, it was planned to be sort of like a classical good/evil situation in this family, with Aura's father as the irredeemable asshole and Aura's uncle as the good guy in contrast, to make Rowan look even worse in comparison. But now I feel like it makes the situation a bit more complex. It gives Aura's father a bit more depth, at least if the letter indeed turns out to be genuine, and it also turns Crispin into a more interesting charact… [view original content]
I have finally caught up with the story and I love it, your writing is awesome! So far, Marten and Aura are my favorite Point of view characters but Saul is also nice. Theo is okay I guess, I dont really have an opinion about him but he is very interesting. And lets just say, I understand why Penn is so hated XD But I still enjoyed her parts even if she is unlikeable.
I have not yet decided what I am going to pick for this choice. Both options sound risky but currently I am more in favor of running to Cass. Crispin sounds like a sociopath and I dont think anyone is safe with him, especially not two little kids. Running is dangerous but I think staying sounds more dangerous. I will think about this choice for a bit longer. Just wanted to let you know that I have caught up with the story
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a fr… moreiend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella'… [view original content]
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a fr… moreiend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella'… [view original content]
I have finally caught up with the story and I love it, your writing is awesome! So far, Marten and Aura are my favorite Point of view charac… moreters but Saul is also nice. Theo is okay I guess, I dont really have an opinion about him but he is very interesting. And lets just say, I understand why Penn is so hated XD But I still enjoyed her parts even if she is unlikeable.
I have not yet decided what I am going to pick for this choice. Both options sound risky but currently I am more in favor of running to Cass. Crispin sounds like a sociopath and I dont think anyone is safe with him, especially not two little kids. Running is dangerous but I think staying sounds more dangerous. I will think about this choice for a bit longer. Just wanted to let you know that I have caught up with the story
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a fr… moreiend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella'… [view original content]
I once again voted to stay with Crispin. Running away seems to be too much of a risk. At the same time, I'm genuinely afraid that I might pick the wrong choice and that Crispin ends up murdering the boys in a fit of rage while Aura is away. In the possible case that she wins, I don't even want to imagine the heartbreak if she finds out that her little brothers have been killed by her psycho uncle. And in the possible case that she dies in the arena, it would be even worse to learn that her whole family basically died as well. Either way, I'm hoping I pick the right choice to protect the boys, but I am afraid that I might choose wrong.
@mr.quality @janitor @TheLier @supersagig @UkilledKenny @AAA_Jane @xSensus @WildlingKing @TWD_stan @LiquidChicagoTed
Hey guys, I'm going … moreto ask you to vote on that last part again at this new link. I think something might have gone wrong with the last one.
http://strawpoll.me/6603410
I vote for Corvin to stay with Crispen. Running away could put Corvin in a lot of possible consequences, and I definitely do not want to see the outcome of that.
@mr.quality @janitor @TheLier @supersagig @UkilledKenny @AAA_Jane @xSensus @WildlingKing @TWD_stan @LiquidChicagoTed
Hey guys, I'm going … moreto ask you to vote on that last part again at this new link. I think something might have gone wrong with the last one.
http://strawpoll.me/6603410
Hey guys! Remember that story I was going to submit to Telltale? Yeah it got rejected. So, I may try again in the future, or at the very least publish it as a book series, but as of now, I figured I'd show it to you guys, in the form of a Forum Game. That way, I'll be able to eventually revise it based on feedback to make a better end result. The only down side is there's no character submission, as all of the characters are already fully developed. But, if you'd like to join in, here's the link to it.
Edit: Oh, don't worry about it interfering with this story. I've already been trying to squeeze writing it into the cracks between writing this one, so the pacing will be about the same.
Comments
Oh yes it will be.
God damn it... Penn really makes me sick beyond words. It was nice that Willem finally called her out on her stupidity, but her "arguments" once again showed just how shallow and dumb she truly is. I mean, it takes a special kind of stupid not to realize the consequences of 24 kids fighting each other to the death. And all of her 'Purpose in life'-shit... She has to be as dumb as a brick to believe this crap. By now, I'm done with her. I just hope she dies as soon as possible, without ruining any more lives. Willem is alright though and I respect him for what he said to Penn. Sadly, I can't root for him either, because I don't want Boz to be rewarded for that shit he pulled off. Poor Ulysses deserved better. He should have shot Penn as well. That way, he would have done the world a favour.
Damn, Liquid has zero shits for Penn!
Wow... Well, for one thing, she doesn't really believe in the purpose in life thing any more. She did when she set off, but after what happened, she's really just clinging to that excuse as a lifeline so she doesn't have to totally come to terms with the fact that she's wrong yet.
Chapter 17: Shit Gets Real
LiquidChicagoTed
Since he was a young boy, he knew he drew strength from Oberyn Martell. It was the reason, that when he stepped into District 9, raging with fury, he knew he would kill Penn. As his combat boots felt the earth beneath his feet, he clicked his shotgun off of safety mode and stepped towards the crowd. Everyone who saw him knew shit was about to get real.
He took a puff from his cigar and shouted "PENN CASSIDY!" It was so loud, the very ground shook, and every person within a mile pissed their pants.
"What the fuck do you want?" Penn asked back, stepping through the crowd. "How dare you interept my story?"
"I bear a message from Satan." Liquid uttered the words with a harshness in his voice. "He wants his attitude back."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The clouds parted and a beam of radiant light shone down from the heavens, illuminating Ted's broadsword until it was a fiery shade of blue. He leaned into kiss it to imbue the touch of noble Dornish blood. With the power of his hatred behind him, he heaved the mighty weapon into the air above young Pennelope's head and muttered, "This is how we do it in Chicago, baby."
With the might of one thousand roid-pumped oxen, he brought the sword down onto Penn's neck until her head separated from her shoulders. She then looked up at her killer and frowned. "What the fuck..." She whispered, just before sticking her tongue past her lips. She then fell dead on the steps of the auditorium.
Boz stared in disbelief down at the melted solid, and took no time before throwing his top hat in his direction. "What have you done? She was our only hope!"
http://strawpoll.me/6426558
Oh my god... I never knew how much I needed such a part until now. This is by far the best thing I've ever read in my life. Thank you. My life is complete now. Also, I hope this part is going to be canon. It's going to be canon for me at least. As for the choice, I'm totally going to put on shades. I don't smoke. Technically, at least.
Yeah, I have realized that of course. If she would have had that realization earlier, I would have been willing to give her a chance. However, now it is a classic case of too little, too late. A mere change of attitude won't be enough anymore. I mean, it seriously took the death of her boyfriend and the accidental murder of an innocent girl to make her even start to realize how obviously flawed her "logic" is. She already ruined four lives before the games started and at least in her father's case, she even did it on purpose. Still, up until she got Emmy killed with her arrogance and selfishness, I still saw a chance for her to become a better person. Sure, I was annoyed by her selfishness and stupidity from the very beginning. This stuff about the games being her only chance at a purpose in life already told me enough about her personality. This chapter however was the one that made me truly hate her with a passion. Killing Emmy and getting Dray and Ulysses killed as well puts her firmly into the 'irredeemable'-category. I mean, Marten killed someone as well, but at least he had a sympathetic motive and is an overall likeable character, while the guy he killed was an extraordinary scumbag. Even the other tributes have at least the excuse that they are forced to kill in the games. Penn however was already deeply unlikeable before she crossed the line and after this chapter, I'm done with her. She ruined enough lives and I'm afraid that she's going to ruin even more lives in the near future, so I don't see any chance of redemption for her anytime soon. So far, she is the only tribute where I'm saying this, but she seriously deserves to die in the games.
She's just horrible. By the way, do you still like her?
It's not canon haha. I hope it brought you some peace though. It's like the science fiction ending of that one issue of the walking dead.
Not since the very beginning :P
And I didn't predict this much hate for Penn haha. I'm hoping by the end I can at least bring her up to meh.
Eh, sort of. And.. Don't roast me for saying this but I feel sorry for her
You uncovered my old shame XD I remember, that was back after Penn's first part, when I knew nothing about her personality. She was actually quite likeable in her first part, as a result of her confusion and amnesia. Starting with her second chapter, her real personality started to shine through.
It wouldn't be the first time I'd be proven wrong with my initial opinion about a character. Don't count on it though. I'm actually a bit surprised about my hatred for Penn, because usually I reserve this level of hatred for characters who are either much worse (like Snow for example), or who actually harm my favourite characters. It's odd that Penn is on the receiving end of my hate, but at the same time, it's definitely not undeserved
I would probably feel a little bit sorry for her if she wouldn't be at fault for all the bad stuff that happened in her storyline. See it that way, everything happened as a result of her own, suicidally stupid decisions. A number of people close to her called her out on how flawed her plans are, but she decides to go through with them despite the warnings her father and Dray gave her and that means that it is all entirely her fault. The last trace of pity I had for her faded when she killed an innocent girl and caused the death of her own boyfriend and the father of the girl she killed. That's where I draw the line and in my eyes, there is no coming back from that. There are full-fledged main villains in other stories who did less horrible things. And considering that she is soon going to be in the games, I'm sure she's going to kill even more people and the thought is only causing me to hate her even more.
Haha, well the next part is an Aura chapter. A nice change of pace. There's only one more Penn chapter in Part 1.
True. But what if she allies with Aura? xD
I pray that Penn will leave my dear Skeeter alone ;-; I don't need any marks on my back!
Oh my god.. LMFAO! Put them shades on Liquid!
That would be one way to make me regret my words XD Though, just because she allies with Aura doesn't automatically mean that I like her. Of course, it would give her plenty of opportunities to become more likeable in my eyes, but it would still be a lot of work. However, I doubt any of our PoV characters will get into an alliance with each other. It's more likely that they will mainly interact with some of the non-PoV tributes.
10/10 Doctors would put dem shades up in Penn's arse.
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but here I am with the alternate Chapter 17.
Chapter 17: Twisted
Aura Cantarella
The Owl is a friend... The Owl is a friend... No matter how many times Aura turned the phrase over in her head, she could not pull any meaning from it. And who was Schrodinger? Throughout all her life she had never heard such a name. As she gazed down upon the small pendant in her hand, many questions flooded her mind.
She looked back towards the path behind her. She wondered if Cass and Garth would miss her quite as much as she would. The Haven was a couple miles in that direction, but it felt like she could walk forever and still be farther away.
When Aura turned back around, she was met at the Victor's Village. A large row of identical houses, all looking quite more spectacular than any other you could find in District 7. She recognized hers as the one on the corner, with a sign in front labeled the Cantarella's. She sucked in her gut and prepared herself for the lecture she would inevitably receive from her father upon arriving.
Yet, as she stepped closer, Aura noticed something very strange. The door hung ajar, by one hinge. The top one had finally rusted away enough to give... But Rowan would never leave the door open like that. He was always scolding each of them about the draft. She clutched the small owl pendant tight and placed it into her pocket, starting to run towards the door.
When she reached it, she wasn't greeted with harsh words, but instead with nothingness. The room inside looked empty. It wasn't trashed like the open door would suggest. In fact, it was almost cleaner than when she left. She found this baffling, as Rowan was piss drunk when she left.
She walked into the room and closed the door behind her, making sure it didn't fall over completely as it shut. She walked forward to the kitchen table and noticed a small note. She picked it up in her left hand and couldn't help but hold a hand over her mouth in shock. It read:
"Dear Aura,
"I am sorry that I haven't been as good a father to you as I should have. After all these years I'm still just one drink away from throwing some shit at the wall. I'm not afraid to admit that I could have tried harder over the years. All that mattered to me were the Games and my booze... Aura... I'm proud of you after today for what courage you showed at the Reaping, even if it didn't turn out well. Thank you for hearing my words last night. You have earned that Cantarella name despite me.
"But now, by the time you get home, I will already be gone. You have convinced me that I am not the one you need for a father. I am reckless. I am stupid. You deserve more. Your uncle Crispin will be there to take care of the boys while you're away. I'm sorry that we didn't leave each other on the right foot, but I still love you, no matter how hard it is for me to show it.
"Sorry... Daddy."
A wave of many different emotions flooded Aura's mind. One of them was regret. The last thing she said to her father was that she hated him... Even upon her worst enemy she wouldn't wish that fate. Another of them, though, was anger. Rowan was just going to leave the three of them alone with Crispin. Aura wasn't sure what the man was like when they were growing up together, but he was a completely different one now.
In a rush of fury, she clutched the note in her hand and tore it into many small pieces. She felt betrayed... Abandoned... She felt like the walls of her life were collapsing in on her... Drowning her. It was a terribly overwhelming sensation. She felt more alone now than she ever did before. She threw the scraps of paper and screamed in agony. When she collapsed onto the table, she felt as though she couldn't handle much more.
"I see you got your note." Said someone from the right of her. She opened her eyes and glanced over. She spotted her uncle, Crispin leaning against the doorway. His thick eyebrows wrapped tightly to his eyes, giving him an even more sinister appearance.
"Crispin!" Aura shouted back. "What the hell are you doing here?! Where are my brothers?!"
"Whoa!" He laughed, bringing his hands to motion for calm. "No 'Hey Uncle Crispin. It's great to see you?' What's gotten into you, Aura?"
"Corvin and Barker. Where are they?"
"Oh they're fine. They're in bed, honey." He came forward and sat on the table next to his niece. "We need to work on your manners. You aren't going anywhere with your attitude."
Crispin was a relatively tall man in his late thirties with short brown hair wrapping around his scalp. He won the third games, at a very young age, and although Rowan was older, it was Crispin's play in the arena that inspired him to volunteer. His eyes were very spread from his nose, giving him a sinister appearance. It matched perfectly his personality. Crispin was not a man Aura enjoyed being around... For great reason...
But Aura out off her loathing of her uncle for a moment to ask a needed question. "Did you see my father before he left? Why did he go?"
"No." Crispin answered. "When I got here, he was already gone. Vanished into thin air. Probably sitting at a bar some place... Pity. He isn't good to raise a family... Not like me..."
"I know my Dad can be a piece of shit sometimes-"
She was immediately cut short by his words. "Oh, you got that right."
"But this doesn't seem like something he would do..." Aura looked down at the shredded pieces of the note, trying to place them back together in her mind. "He was a stubborn guy... It's one of the reasons he's such a hardass, but he was stubborn about his family too... It doesn't make any sense to me..."
"Rowan is gone." Crispin stated plainly, bringing his eyes into creases. "It cuts deep like a motherfucker, but you have to forget about him. I'm all the family you need." He stood up from his seat and placed his hand on the counter. "In a way... I could even be your father... Would you like that? I could be your daddy!"
Crispin began to come forward towards her, but she spat hard on the table before he managed to invade her space. "You're lucky we're even related, asshole." Aura stood up from her chair and stormed toward the door to her bedroom, but one question was left in her mind before she reached it. "Crispin..." She said, turning around slowly in the doorway. "Do you know someone by the name Schrodinger?"
"Can't say I do." He replied, turning away from her to ponder. But, he didn't come up with anything. "Who is that? Is it a boy?"
Aura reached into her pocket and clutched the owl pendant inside. "No. Just someone I heard about..." She turned into her room and as the light from her lamp washed over her face, she shut the door behind her. She let go of the pendant and whispered to herself. "The Owl is a friend..."
She sat on her bed for a few minutes, but then laid down. Her pillow felt very soft, almost velvety, just like it did that morning. There were a few perks to living in a rich neighborhood. She doubted any other people in this District could claim to have such luxury. It sickened her... She wanted to take everything she had and go give it to those who really needed it. There were some in this District that have never even felt a pillow. Unfortunately, she only had one. It was just one more thing she would have to say goodbye to.
As the though passed through Aura's head, the door creaked open, and she checked to see who it was. She saw Corvin's face peeking just through the crack. When he saw it was his older sister, he quietly entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Aura, you're home!" He whispered. "What took you so long? You've been gone forever."
"Sorry, bud. I had to make a stop by the Haven before I came home." She tilted her head in an apologetic manner. "Where's your brother?"
"Asleep. I couldn't go to sleep with his snoring in there. You spent a really long time there." Corvin said. "We ate the entire banana bread you bought us."
Aura frowned slightly, but then sat up on her bed and ruffled the boy's hair. "I was hoping you'd save some for me."
Corvin sat down on the bed next to his sister. "You took too long. We figured we had to punish you some way."
She shook her head, chuckling. "I plead guilty."
"So you're really going to volunteer for the Hunger Games?" He questioned her, with worry in his eye. "Dad said you were going to give us another house to live in."
"Wait, you saw Dad?" Aura ignored his question, asking one of her own. "Did he say why he left?"
"No." He responded, seeming bewildered. "He just told us to go out and play... And when we came back inside, Uncle Crispin was there... When's he coming back?"
Aura covered her mouth with her hand. Not only had her father left without the intention of ever returning, but he also left without saying goodbye to his sons. She couldn't bring herself to tell Corvin the truth, so she fabricated a lie in its place. "He's... He's coming back soon. Probably not for a week or so."
"Where did he go?"
"He didn't tell me."
"Why didn't he tell you?"
"I don't know..."
Corvin looked towards the door of Aura's room and she knew he was thinking about who resided on the other side. "We have to stay with Uncle Crispin?" He asked with pleading eyes. Aura could never say no to them. "I don't want to. The last time we stayed with him-"
"Don't." Aura interrupted him. "Don't think about that. Look, I know that Crispin is dangerous, but you need to stay with him for a while."
"Can I just run away?" He began to grow frantic. "I swear I'll come back once you get back from your trip."
The words hit her hard in the chest. When her brother entered the room, Aura was hoping this would be a chance to say goodbye to him, but as the conversation progressed, the hope of that ever happening slimmed into nothing. Now, she would only tell him what he needed to hear. "It's not a good idea to run away. If Crispin comes after you... I don't even want to think about what would happen."
"But he wouldn't find me!"
"But he'll be looking..." Aura replied. "He may be a piece of shit, but-"
"Swear."
"Sorry. He may be a piece of poop, but he will do anything to keep a promise." She looked back towards the door and made an effort to keep her voice down. "He has to watch you until I get back. He will look for you. It's dangerous to run."
"It's dangerous to stay too though!" Corvin cried, mirroring the volume of Aura's last statement. "I mean, Aura, he's Uncle Crispin. Do you really think Barker and I would be safe spending a week here alone with him?"
http://strawpoll.me/6162744
What do you mean you don't need marks on your back?
Ooh! Another Hunger Games fanfiction! Too bad I'm too late to join in on the fun, haha. So far, I've read the first two parts and they are amazing. Hopefully I'll be able to get caught up with the story^^
Damn, I did not see this twist coming. I mean, the letter from Aura's father, it almost felt as if he was genuinely sorry. At the same time, I have the feeling that something is not quite right here. Maybe I really misjudged him, but he did not appear to me like the kind of person that would even be able to feel regret. And Aura said it herself, something is not right here. Why would someone as stubborn as him just vanish after he just got everything he wanted? One of the theories I have is that he realized that it is in fact not everything he wanted, that he is seriously regretful and, even though it is a bit far fetched, that he might even be Schrodinger, sort of like a secret alias to support his daughter and to make up for all the shit he put her through, knowing that she would never accept his help if he would openly show himself and reveal his identity. That would be a rather heartwarming twist. The other, sadly far more likely theory I have is that he never actually wrote this letter, at least not out of his own free will. I assume, in the likely case that Rowan hasn't left because he is genuinely sorry, that he was either forced to leave by Crispin, who seems to have his own agenda, or that he was even killed by him, to get him out of the way and that this letter was either forged by Crispin or that he forced Rowan to write it, to make it seem as if he left all by himself.
Speaking of Crispin... hell, that guy is creepy. I got some really bad vibes from him and I seriously don't know what to expect of him. Originally, I have intended for him to be kind of the good counterpart to the utter jerk that is Aura's father and that she actually has sort of a positive opinion on him, but I think this part proved that he is anything but. I have to say, I certainly like this change you made, as I am now absolutely unsure what kind of person he really is. As I said, I wouldn't put it past him to have a secret agenda in this matter, that he arranged for Rowan to leave the family in some way, so that he can pursue whatever his goal is. I have read some pretty worrying stuff into his lines here, some of which has been pure nightmare fuel to me. I mean, he really seemed to get off on the thought of being Aura's father from now on, in a downright disturbing way, which only increased my suspicion that he might have something to do with Rowan going missing.
Now my vote. I am afraid for the boys, I seriously am. They are Aura's only family and definitely her reason to carry on in the games, to do everything she can to get back to them. If anything happens to them before she leaves for the games, she is certainly going to be devastated by it and I doubt she'd make it in the games for long if she looses her will to fight. But if she really wins and returns home only to find that Crispin snapped in some way and killed her brothers, then this will similarly devastate her and might turn her into a person not unlike her father or her uncle. Yet at the same time, I have voted for them to stay with Crispin, mostly because I don't know what kind of person he is and how he will react if his nephews run away from him. As I said, he was originally meant to be the good uncle, so there might be something of his original characterisation left underneath these creepy characteristics he has. His part here on the other hand hinted at the fact that he is a very bad and messed up person, so I have no idea how he will react, what his plans are and what he might do if he gets angry. I think Corvin and Barker know how to deal with someone who gets angry easily, they have survived for so long under an abusive drunkard with a nasty temper. Running away from him will certainly enrage Crispin. And he won the games for a reason. I am sure he has some mad tracking skills and in that case, it is likely that he will find the boys and will kill them and Cass for angering him. Staying with him, doing everything he says and keeping their head down for a week might be the only chance they have, at least the way I see it.
Nice to see you on board!
Haha sorry, I didn't realize that Crispin was intended to be a good guy. I didn't really see anything about him, so I made my own persona.
It's fine. I indeed didn't wrote much about him, but looking through the stuff I wrote, I saw that towards the very end of the submission, when I detailed her horrible relationship with Rowan, I wrote this:
Which is about all I've written about him aside from the fact that he won the games shortly after his older brother. But I'm very okay with the change, it makes things a lot more intriguing for me. Originally, it was planned to be sort of like a classical good/evil situation in this family, with Aura's father as the irredeemable asshole and Aura's uncle as the good guy in contrast, to make Rowan look even worse in comparison. But now I feel like it makes the situation a bit more complex. It gives Aura's father a bit more depth, at least if the letter indeed turns out to be genuine, and it also turns Crispin into a more interesting character for me. With Aura's father, I always knew how he would react in certain situations, but I know nothing about this new Crispin and I am genuinely afraid what kind of person the games made out of him. I just hope he is not a complete monster
haha, yeah you have a bunch of text to sort out in your descriptions of characters. Sometimes a few things get lost in translation. But yeah, the whole thing with Aura's father and Schrodinger is the first step on a bit of an overarching plot of the whole book.
@mr.quality @janitor @TheLier @supersagig @UkilledKenny @AAA_Jane @xSensus @WildlingKing @TWD_stan Hey guys, I got a new part up.
I have finally caught up with the story and I love it, your writing is awesome! So far, Marten and Aura are my favorite Point of view characters but Saul is also nice. Theo is okay I guess, I dont really have an opinion about him but he is very interesting. And lets just say, I understand why Penn is so hated XD But I still enjoyed her parts even if she is unlikeable.
I have not yet decided what I am going to pick for this choice. Both options sound risky but currently I am more in favor of running to Cass. Crispin sounds like a sociopath and I dont think anyone is safe with him, especially not two little kids. Running is dangerous but I think staying sounds more dangerous. I will think about this choice for a bit longer. Just wanted to let you know that I have caught up with the story
My two cents are one suicide. But that would be too easy.
I suspect a great shitstorm.
Ok. It's tied right now lol. Nice to see you back!
A great shitstorm indeed. And what do you mean by one suicide?
Well, at least one to be fair. Aura's dad did that in my opinion, but heads may start to roll even before the Games.
Maybe the boys will try something stupid.
Voted for leaving Corvin and go with Cass. I think
Are you sure? Nothing's showing up in results.
@mr.quality @janitor @TheLier @supersagig @UkilledKenny @AAA_Jane @xSensus @WildlingKing @TWD_stan @LiquidChicagoTed
Hey guys, I'm going to ask you to vote on that last part again at this new link. I think something might have gone wrong with the last one.
http://strawpoll.me/6603410
I once again voted to stay with Crispin. Running away seems to be too much of a risk. At the same time, I'm genuinely afraid that I might pick the wrong choice and that Crispin ends up murdering the boys in a fit of rage while Aura is away. In the possible case that she wins, I don't even want to imagine the heartbreak if she finds out that her little brothers have been killed by her psycho uncle. And in the possible case that she dies in the arena, it would be even worse to learn that her whole family basically died as well. Either way, I'm hoping I pick the right choice to protect the boys, but I am afraid that I might choose wrong.
I vote for Corvin to stay with Crispen. Running away could put Corvin in a lot of possible consequences, and I definitely do not want to see the outcome of that.
Hey guys! Remember that story I was going to submit to Telltale? Yeah it got rejected. So, I may try again in the future, or at the very least publish it as a book series, but as of now, I figured I'd show it to you guys, in the form of a Forum Game. That way, I'll be able to eventually revise it based on feedback to make a better end result. The only down side is there's no character submission, as all of the characters are already fully developed. But, if you'd like to join in, here's the link to it.
The Vigilant Sky: An Original Interactive Fiction
Edit: Oh, don't worry about it interfering with this story. I've already been trying to squeeze writing it into the cracks between writing this one, so the pacing will be about the same.
By marks, I mean targets! I don't want to be targeted haha. Though I think it'll happen.. Maybe.. ;-;