What is your attitude when it comes to helping others?
When it comes to helping others, I'll go out of my way to help them, especially if they're a friend of mine, or I like the person. Not to mention it helps keep you busy, and it also feels GREAT to help others in need.
On the other hand I also feel that I should be generous when I can afford to be, but for the most part the only person I really need to look after is myself - as if I don't - who will?
And I realize that when it's a do or die situation, that most people will save themselves, as opposed to giving their life for someone else. It's a selfish, "me first" world we live in, and it's only getting worse.
And while I have to admit that while I do believe in self preservation, I also don't like the idea of leaving someone behind. In fact, if I don't help someone, when I know I could've, I always feel super guilty about it.
So maybe for those reasons I don't fit in well with most people, and you know what, I'm okay with that. And quite frankly, I care more about my character, than my reputation. I'll be the best that I can be, and either people like me or they don't.
I'd rather be a good, loyal, and dependable person, as opposed to being popular, and not caring about anyone else - though that's not to say that every popular person is like that.
I think the key is finding a balance. Help others when you can, but at the same time not neglecting yourself either.
And when it comes to whether or not you would actually give your life for someone else well I think that would depend on how much you care for them.
Jesus Christ said: "Greater love hath no one, than he who lays down his life for his friend." Now it's not fair for anyone to ask you to do that for them. Rather that is something you would have to do yourself.
What is your attitude about helping others? And be 100% honest.
Comments
If you ask, those little people on my shoulders tell me to run away, run away fast, but..... since I never listen to them I always end out helping anyways.
I will usually help others if it's something I know about or can do simply. Of course I'll reach for something on the top shelf for the lady in the wheelchair I don't know when I pass by her in the store and she asks for help. I think most people will help and will feel good helping when it's easy.
I don't usually give out money. It's too easy to be taken advantage of, and it's often not the right thing to do. When I give money to a charity, it's only after research, and I won't just throw spare change in a bucket or respond to any telephone solicitation.
I also won't compromise my physical safety. Maybe I feel sorry for someone in the bad part of town, but it would take a lot for me to go to that person when I might be robbed or shot.
I don't know why you feel you don't fit in because you want to help, even if you don't always do it. I think that's a natural part of being human.
Unfortunately the type of person that asks for help usually isnt the one deserving of it, they just feel no shame in getting others to wipe their ass(not allways of course)
Hey sure if it doesn't put me in danger I'll help out, not risking my life for anyone though.
Depends, I have no problem in helping my family and friends whenever they need it and at general basic strangers( if it won't cause me to go out of my way too much) But when some bum who reeks of alcohol ask me to give him money for ,,food" it makes me want to help him by ending his misery....
Helping others will probably end up getting me killed. I have no reservations about dying for another on a rationalized level.
It's really not a concious selfish choice for the most part. It's basic evolutionary psychology and biology. Running away and leaving others is an individual survival tactic and helps ensure the survival of the species by allowing the best suited individuals (the ones that can escape danger) to continue reproducing. During "fight or flight" responses many of the regions of the brain associated with higher thinking are much less active than those normally attributed with reflex actions. To say it's selfish has connotations of a thought out response (i.e. he was selfish because he thought about and wanted something), but in truth it's a very automatic and subconscious reaction. Even I, who has no problem with dying, will likely react in a manner alternate to how I would consciously (now and afterward) wish to.
Because he's always aspired to be and continues to aspire to be an alcoholic bum.
In my lengthy experience with helping people, I'd have to say that this assessment is wrong, at least within the scope of my own life. When people ask me for help it's generally because they don't know how to do something, they're physically incapable of doing something, or their workload is excessive and they want to decrease it. Not because they just don't feel like doing it. This is particularly true when dealing with friends and family. When I redid my roof I asked a friend to help me clean up, and likewise when he redid his I helped him clean up. Helping people, besides feeling good, can be very mutually beneficial.
No one forced him/her to be alcoholic, it was his/her choice and now all those people do is leeh on others to sustain themselves and their addictions, pathetic.
Partly yes. Though on the other hand, we are all products of our genetics and environment.
Addictions are signs of weak will, blaming genes or society is just avoiding responsibility for your decisions, be it in drinking, doing drugs or being fat( with exception of fatness caused by illness but those are less than 10% of cases).
In my opinion those people do not deserve pity nor help the state gives them, even more when they think that they deserve it which is very common.
I think he meant it in more like ,,help me because I deserve it" mentality when a person is capable of doing things on his/her own but prefers to prey on other people's kindness
I'm disabled, so the idea of "help" and reciprocity is a huge impact on my life. There are many things I am incapable of doing, due to my disability (driving is one of them) so being forced to suck up my pride and ask for help is a regular occurance. I'm a proud man, and this has always been difficult for me, but I've found that trading favors for favors makes me feel a lot better about it. For instance, when I first moved here, my neighbor spent a few hours showing me how the local bus system works. In return, I helped her do yard work by moving and placing huge, decorative stones that were too heavy for her to lift.
As far as giving help goes, I'm a big believer in mutual aid. Cheerful service to others enriches the recipient, enriches you and ultimately enriches the community. God and government don't give a fuck about ordinary people. It falls on us to care for each other.
Ive had bad experiences with helping people who ended up being selfish and inconsiderate, ive been on my own since I was 17 having someone bum my food and smokes only to then phone their parents and ask for money pisses me off, they dont have a sense of perspective, unfortunately im talking about the spoilt brat mentality that is so common
Well, that's laughably incorrect.
Well that's laughably uninformative answer
I'd be lying if I said I helped every Tom, Dick or Harry, but if someone genuinely needs some help and it's not effecting me, I'd help them. At the same time though, you can't be too generous or else people are just going to take you for a ride, and take advantage of your kindness. Now when it comes to putting my life at risk to help someone- Only if I actually care about the person, otherwise there's no point risking my own safety for some random fella off the street.
Well when you open with that it's a tell tale sign there's no hope for an informed discussion.
For starters there's no such thing as informed discussion, so no there's no hope for having one. There's constructive discussion, preferable or the other one that is unconstructive.
Also when you answer like that it shows that you view your opinion on that subject as the only correct one and that all others are not worth your time. So get off your pedestal because, flashnews people have different opinions and might not share yours, but that doesn't mean that they're ,,laughably incorrect"
You are demonstrably wrong. It's a medically accepted fact that genetics predispose certain people to addictive tendencies. And there's a compelling link between childhood trauma and addictive behaviors. The idea that it's due to a weak will is widely discredited, and quite frankly, laughable.
Incorrect.
In a discussion about morals or other subjective material, correct, but when you tread on objectively disproven information, incorrect.
Having a predisposition and folding into it are two diffrent things, Also did every alcoholic or other addict had a traumatic childhood? the answer is no.
In most cases it's just people who are just too weak to say stop to their addictions.
But nowadays we have a policy that nothing is your fault.
You're fat?- Blame society
You're alcoholic?- Surely others caused it
You're drug addict? -Don't worry it's not your fault it's the environment
People are being taught by media and goverment to not be responsible and blame others for their shortcoming. You have problem with alcohol? Then don't drink it at all? You get fat easily? Change diet and execise more, but all of those require effort and willpower which many of people nowadays lack.
Still didn't get any solid answer, just dodges . But let's drop it because I see it's pointless
not really, one tends to come after another.
Did I say that every one of them was, no? But people with trauma are over represented among drug addicts, as are people with poor upbringings, the undereducated and the poor. Environment.
Fucking. prove. it. Find me serious scientific studies that say "people get addicted cause they're just wimps!" You won't. This claim is pure nonsense that has no basis in reality.
Oh spare me. Addicts are treated like weak, worthless scum by most of society. The public would rather pretend they don't exist and let them die on the streets then actually change things in any meaningful way,
Yep, dodging misinformed rhetoric.
Did any one shove alcohol down their throats? Make them eat themselves to death? It's choice nothing more
People also have their brains don't they? They can see that let's say taking a drug that makes you a wreck after a year can be kind of bad...
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" In my 20s, I liked to drink. I liked the feeling it gave me and I liked being a girl who could drink with the boys. So far, that was my choice."
How many more stories start like that?
this one is basically my stance on it
that one is good too
It's not that you are born addict, you become one when start drinking and over time your brain adapts and need more and more. Same goes for gamblers, do you have gambling in your DNA? or the rush of winning cause you to crave it more and more?
Never said that they aren't But like I said it's easier to blame everyone else than yourself. There are multiple examples of such things everywhere. Kid went to school and shoot everyone? Blames computer games not the parents or school who didn't give a damn that he was bullied, Woman spilt coffee on herself and got burned? Blame Macdonald for making hot coffee, I could give you many more examples of such things.
We live in times where people do not take responsibility for their deeds and are not able to say it's my fault when it truly is, Yes some contidions make people more or less inclined to become an addict but in the end in boils down to one thing....
People making choice... be it out of poverty, trying to be cool or simple why the hell not, it's all about choice, again yes someone can force you too but how large % we're talking about?
And when you make a choice you should be ready for the consequences.
With nothing but ,,you're wrong responses", bravo
Nothing else is needed when you blatantly disregard the overwhelming majority of scientific findings in the fields of psychology and behavioral sciences that deal with addiction and other psychiatric problems as well as medical fields dealing with addiction and rehabilitation.
It depends, people at my school tend to take advantage of me, for example: Homework. People think I'm one of the smartest kids in the grade, they all around just ask me for my homework/Classwork to copy off of instead of doing it themselves and actually learning. Those type of people I don't like "helping"
I'm always willing to lend a hand. But at times, if it's necessary. I fear of being abused or taken advantage of.
I love helping others. When I was younger, I loved helping people. It didn't matter who it was. However, as I gotten older I started helping a little less. The reason why is because for some reason a lot of people get angry when I try to help sometimes. It like they get annoyed by the idea of someone helping them. Other than that, I do help, it's just that I'm not as active as I was when I was younger.
The main reason I don't feel I fit in is because nobody really pays me a lot of mind. For the most part, I'm ignored by most people.
For example, if there is a party, I'm usually not invited. Or if I'm in a group conversation, I usually end up on the outside looking in. It's like everyone else is talking to each other, and I fade into the background.
Or, if someone does take an interest in me, after a while they fade away. Usually if they hang out with me once, it's like that's enough for them.
And it has been that way my whole life. Ever since I was a little kid. It's like - everyone is being gracious to me, but deep down they don't really care if I'm there or not.
And I have NEVER understood why? And I know that I'm far from the only person to have ever experienced this, but that doesn't mean I like it.
And now to be clear, I try to be on my best behavior, while still having fun. So it's like, what the hell?
Sorry about replying to the same comment twice. I want to make clear that I would help anyone who needed it, im not heartless, I was referring to able bodied and right of mind people who take advantage not genuine people in need.
Ive had issues with loads of people one incident being a guy asking to stay round, he said he was stuck and I shared my beer and pizza with him, later into the night the temperature dropped I got out some blankets a electric heater (EXPENSIVE TO RUN) and advised him to put on a coat, well he couldn't take the cold because he eventually said "I cant hack this anymore, im going home to my comfy big warm bed" and called his fucking parents, without the slightest idea how rude he just was.(this isn't the person I ranted about in a different thread, just the same mentality)
If somebody desperately needs help or someone I care about asks for help, I'll definitely help them as much as I can. I would never ignore somebody who requires assistance, be it mental support, moving things, game help, etc.
Jesus Christ dude did you even read that article yourself? It's against your argument and says that addiction is a mental illness. Look what comes right after your quote:
I love to help people! Although it's weird, because I have to have the right timing to help someone. Just like I feel like I can't just speak whenever I want to and have to enter a conversation at the right moment, it's the same for helping others. So that inhibits what I want to do a lot.
But I'm not going to help cheaters, dishonest people, or arrogant people under most circumstances. Because...well, who would?
No it didn't, my points still stand at the beginning it was choice, then it became compulsive as it is when you're addict.
And why did they become an addict?
Essentially if you have the brain of an addict (which is something you are BORN WITH) your freedom of choice is gone, your brain perceives pleasure incorrectly, so saying "it's their choice" is idiotic and going against everything modern science is telling you. But you don't care, you're obviously smarter than modern scientists right?
There isn't only one true theory about the addictions, in fact the disease theory is most popular I agree but here are also other theories that are as valid as is that one, even in your definition:
you are not "born" with stress reaction, at most the area of your brain that percieve pleasure (source of addictions) can be more sensitive to the,.
I'm a believer of behavioral theory of addiction which is more popular where I come from. The theory states that you are not born addict but you become one by having a bad habits over long time that makes your brain adapt to certain substances or sensations that in the end makes them compulsatory to have. Yes it change the brain but it takes time to do it. So I do not say that addiction is not a disease but not at the beginning. Like I said you're not born addict (under normal circumstances) you become one by making a bad choice every day by folding into yours habits.
read this
also the definition of addiction
"the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice **or to something that is psychologically or physically **habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.'
source
Also this guys apperently have quite a name in US
Marc Lewis
Ah, that's just social skills, not a matter of whether you help people or not. Being social takes practice, but you're really good at thinking up topics to post here, so I know you've got it in you. If you want them to think you're worth having around, ask more questions. (Weird, I know.)