How To Get Rid Of Social Anxiety?
the title says it all I'm sick of being scared of talking to the cashier because she seems scary I'm sick of feeling scared of not throwing the apple core into the dustbins
I mean it's summer and whenever my friends ask me to hang out I say I'm not feeling well and sit in listening to Halsey or Trans violent which believe me I'm not complaining I just wanna feel like living
P.S don't tell to me to "not care about what people say" because everyone does care
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All I can suggest is that you keep trying to talk to people. I know it feels hard but once you get used to talking to people it will become easier.
I suggest you find people of the same interest that you have. Like maybe join a club where you play Board Games or Tabletop roleplaying games where you have to talk to people.
The way I managed to stop feeling afraid of being social was when I once studied at a Boarding School where I constantly have to talk to people. Just keep trying and you will get better.
I wrote a lot then the page reloaded. Maybe try to consider where these feelings come from, is it a coping mechanism, fear of failure, a result of trauma?
I recently read about learned helplessness on reddit and it rang true for me I can now sometimes recognise these behaviours in myself and prevent them, maybe you should look it up.
How is your diet? Too much sugar and caffeine can make people anxious. Are you on any meds that can be having a negative affect on your mental wellbeing? Or maybe its just your age, being a young person can be scary you grow up to fast and the future is daunting.
There is no way to know why someone feels anything and everybody is different so there is no answer I can give you but I will say avoid disappointing yourself dont say "I will do x today" because when you cant you might dwell on it and fear of failure is a big part of anxiety for most sufferers.
I hope things get better for you.
One thing that helped me with anxiety was to tell myself how insignificant i am, in the nicest possible way, strangers don't give a shit about you, just like they don't give one about any other strangers. We're all caught up in our own lives that we're more likely to be feeling the same anxiety about ourselves than thinking about anyone else.
You might stutter or do something awkward when talking to a cashier, but they probably see hundreds and hundreds of people each day who are likely just as awkward, if not more.
It's less about not caring what people say and more about realising that the vast majority of people aren't going to say or even think anything about you.
I hope this helps and doesn't come across as patronising, I'm not the best at getting my point across. Good luck with your anxiety.
That was one of the best things I ever heard from a therapist regarding social anxiety. "Nobody gives a shit about you." I swear it helped after I got over being offended.
Try setting short term goals. No matter how uncomfortable they may seem. Ex: today I am going to make small talk with a cashier or hold a door open, compliment someone, etc. Then, you force yourself to do it. Sounds easy to most but in your position, it probably seems excruciating. That's why you start small, commit and build from there. Remember, everyone is different. You may smile at someone and simply say hello but your actions may brighten up their day.
Cashiers and people in service positions are some of the easiest people to talk to, because they're paid to be nice to you. If you smile and make their job easy, then they probably won't attack you.
You should feel great that your friends are calling and asking to spend time with you! That means they think you are totally worth hanging around, and they value your presence. If they didn't think that, they wouldn't call. Of course, if your answer is always that you don't feel up to visiting them, then they will eventually stop calling anyway.
If this is too hard, you might want to consider seeing a psychologist. That can also be scary if you've never done it, but doctors have ethics standards they have to follow, and they can only help.
Maybe you'll find out other people aren't so scary after all.
Coming from a former fast food worker and current cashier, I'm telling you that it's not easy for us either. People with social anxiety are thrust into a job where they have to talk to all kinds of people every day. They can be rude as heckers and you just have to smile and nod like it doesn't hurt you.
Realize that you're a boss ass bitch. Who gives a flying fuck about what others think? Own it. Strut yourself and think positive. All people in life wanna do is being you down, so why let them? You have to give consent for people to hurt you. Fuck the haters. You've got this.
okay. this one really spoke to me
Best thing you can do is talk to a psychiatrist and/or coach yourself to take baby steps on getting more comfortable in social situations. Join a club, take walks around your neighborhood and acknowledge any people you pass, stuff like that. That's what I do. Even if you don't want to hang out with your friends, you should try to force yourself to if only for the experience.
You don't. You just get used to it. There is no getting rid of mental disorders, you're stuck with them. There are just times where you're more in control of them. I myself have OCD, Bipolar Disorder, Suicidal Depression, Aspergers and Social Anxiety. It will never leave, you just have to learn to be in more control of it. See a therapist and meditate is the most I can say.
Real talk? Make yourself go out and be social.
Sucks ass, but you get better at it.
What helped me personally is trying to think positively or not at all. I keep reminding myself that the person I want to talk to is just as anxious as I am and it makes me feel a bit better. I just go for it, talk to a person, ask them how their day is/was and ask them some appropriate questions about themselves. I used to just follow a script while serving at the counter but eventually I learned to get used to talking to people and now I have small talk with allot of my customers and it took months for this to happen. I'd say, start with building up some self confidence, remember that no one is perfect nor do they need to be, then just go for those conversations, starting it off by just doing some small talk and eventually lead into full conversations, you become comfortable with social interaction, you gain some confidence and it gets easier.
Personally, I constantly remind myself that life is too short to care about other peoples' opinions, why the fuck should I be afraid of what someone thinks of me when they're probably feeling the same fear but still going on with their life. I've kind of reached the point in my life where I just don't care, I just do what makes me happy, talk to people like they're associates of mine and try to enjoy every passing day. Sometimes Journals and conversation advice from other people are very helpful.
I wish I could tell you that there's a trick...Some magic solution.
Truth is, I have never been comfortable having conversations outside of good friends.
I have been in service industries(in various roles) for 14 years and I've just started to become comfortable and confident in conversations in the past year. If there was an easy way out, I missed it.
Eventually, for me, it became: "Do you want your paycheque(paycheck) to keep coming?" And I just had to do it and force myself through it. I'm still not comfortable in areas of discussion that I'm not used to, but after 14 years, a lot of discussions are now repeat and I know what to say(or not to say).
This probably doesn't help, but... well, you're not alone. It's been a rough ride for me too.
Social anxiety is a terrible disaster. I had that when I was a kid. But it is something that you can beat it and earn a victory against it. I was so shy, so afraid, couldnt even put up a fight against annoying people. Then I decided to do something, not just sitting on couch and think about how I unsuccessful I am about life. I started to talk with girls, I started to hang out with people and even get involved with fights and competitions and when I started to highschool, I flirted with one of the most beatiful girls in our school (she was an attractive blonde believe me) and I made so many friends which can actually watch my back and can spend time together. We escaped from school and went to the coast almost every goddamn day. They were the best memories I have in my whole life. I was always thinking that I will be a waste and will waste my time sitting on my ass all day. When I actually did something, I eventually realized that I was a complete idiot when I was like that.
In university, I hang out with beatiful girls again and earn good mates at the same time. Now, I am thinking that what did I become in this 7 year period.
What I am trying to say is, life doesnt give you gift. Only way to earn something is that always trying it and improve yourself to earn it. Just go outside,buddy. Hang out in bars, cafees, in streets and meet people as much as you can. You dont have to meet thousands of people. Just find a couple of friends and you will be fine. You cant just wait it to pass. Life doesnt work that way. I hope you can get rid of it.