How can I ever find a woman to love when I want to live my life with open eyes?
I go day to day in a family that believes in several stereotypes, is easily programmed. A family that listens to music without listening to the actual lyrics. A family that says and does things without realizing what they say and how they feel effects everyone around them. They don't understand projection, and aren't considerate or even aware of how they influence and affect others.
They all pollute one another with emotions, instead of talking, we all fight, argue, get emotional over stupid things. We don't communicate, we let emotions go free. There's little understanding of how emotions radiate from one person to the next and how they change people around them.
Everyone like me is like a child, they just vent emotions into others creating undesirable emotions in the person they are venting with.They are all selfish and don't have alot of self reliance or a strong sense of individualism and pride. They don't respect others individualism, they all seek to label others and over simplify.
Is it really that much work to open up your eyes to the world and actually keep an open mind and alter what you already know? Why is it that at a certain point in life most people stop learning and stop nurturing their "tools in their brain" to learn?
Why is it that at one point most people become so sure of their selves and chose to ignore the world around them?
Subordinate and false, already finished learning, a life already finished just dragging on...
They mold people off of what that person becomes, what they think they have to be and what they are to others. They selfishly mold others into stereotypes and prohibit any real growth beyond psychological conditioning from others.
It's a vicious circle.
They are always so sure of how they read things.
For the most part everything flawed is given too much attention, and everything with potential is seen with those too many flaws. It's a vicious primitive cycle of dog eats dog.
Mostly self absorbed, worried about ego.
I don't get along with too many people. Only a select few people live in a real world. I'm a 22 year old male and I don't know if I'll ever find any one. As more times goes on I have more time to think to my self. I'm by far perfect but ^^^ I see a lot of people as caged animals and all I want is to find some sort of liberation, freedom to live my life happily.
They all pollute one another with emotions, instead of talking, we all fight, argue, get emotional over stupid things. We don't communicate, we let emotions go free. There's little understanding of how emotions radiate from one person to the next and how they change people around them.
Everyone like me is like a child, they just vent emotions into others creating undesirable emotions in the person they are venting with.They are all selfish and don't have alot of self reliance or a strong sense of individualism and pride. They don't respect others individualism, they all seek to label others and over simplify.
Is it really that much work to open up your eyes to the world and actually keep an open mind and alter what you already know? Why is it that at a certain point in life most people stop learning and stop nurturing their "tools in their brain" to learn?
Why is it that at one point most people become so sure of their selves and chose to ignore the world around them?
Subordinate and false, already finished learning, a life already finished just dragging on...
They mold people off of what that person becomes, what they think they have to be and what they are to others. They selfishly mold others into stereotypes and prohibit any real growth beyond psychological conditioning from others.
It's a vicious circle.
They are always so sure of how they read things.
For the most part everything flawed is given too much attention, and everything with potential is seen with those too many flaws. It's a vicious primitive cycle of dog eats dog.
Mostly self absorbed, worried about ego.
"Fear of being thought "different" or in some way unacceptable keeps many people from exploring the world that they chose to inhabit. They tend to replicate what the media shows them and will cling to an illusion of "normal" like a drowning man clings to a float. Closing ones eyes, mind and heart is less trouble, less demanding and safer than actually asking questions and exploring the answers you discover. Its part laziness, part fear and definitely a lack of curiosity, imagination and passion. It is ego-based, fear based behavior. And you're right, it is almost wholly false.
You've seen it, now you can choose NOT to fall into those kinds of ruts.
They lead nowhere.
Source(s):
Been asking questions and exploring since puberty (possibly longer)"
I don't get along with too many people. Only a select few people live in a real world. I'm a 22 year old male and I don't know if I'll ever find any one. As more times goes on I have more time to think to my self. I'm by far perfect but ^^^ I see a lot of people as caged animals and all I want is to find some sort of liberation, freedom to live my life happily.
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...Is what I would normally say, but I feel encouraging today. So, uh, when did you get so philosophical, man? And uh, what's the point you're trying to make? I see a lot of statements but no real main point.
You have lots of positive vibe, I like you. You're a cool guy from what I know.
People, and me just don't click in "the real false world".
I got lots of things I love about myself inside and it's all great but I don't express myself or interact with others "normally". I just can't seem to fit in even though I honestly believe myself to have some descent qualities and characteristics. It's like an invisibility cloak over me. I don't want to be or sound "conceited". I just want to stand up for myself and state that I think there's good things about me that can go unnoticed or are down played.
It just feels like I could relate to people, do have cool things about myself that go unnoticed because people are blinded by what they should see or want to see to understand me.
When they do think they understand me they are too sure of what they're seeing. I think life is more complex than it's given credit and that too many people aren't given a chance to live it fully.
It feels like everyone lives under some sort of covers.
I don't want to hear any damn excuses just shut up and do it, you maggot. Now drop and give me twenty. Come on you weak little bastard. I'll rip yer arms off for oars and make you my rowboat, then I'll sail you down the long river of pain and misery. You'll weep blood and sweat vomit, and before you're through, you'll be a real man. Until then you are weak, you are a bleeder, you are my own personal bitch. I'll call your mother every name in the book and you'll hate me through your tears, and you will persevere through this war so you can look me in the face and feel even half as superior as my little pinky- oops looks like I went into drill sergeant mode again.
My boss even tells me I'm doing a great job every day, but it's like we got a full shipment of babes and now, LOL. Women are one of my weaknesses. I don't consider myself to have too many "weaknesses" but when it comes to women...
Yep.
They market most women to look like this...
But in reality they usually look like this.
I think that if you don't put people's behaviour under such scrutiny then you'll be happier. Think of it like this: at the minute, you're looking at people's behaviour under a microscope. If you take a step back and look at the whole person without that microscope, you'll realise that people are generally pretty nice and well intentioned. You'll realise that a person not living their life to its fullest potential isn't actually a bad thing. They're not a worse person for it, and they've not lost any happiness from it (only potential happiness, which doesn't technically exist) and neither have you.
In a word, relax
This is what I do when I want the world to be a little bit brighter.
But the fact is, nothing is unreachable, only if you don't believe in it, and only if you don't put some effort in it. Now everybody can dream of being rich, or having the love of their life, but what is it you really desire for yourself? Most things we take as "our dream" are nothing more than the results of what you're trying to accomplish.
I actually stopped thinking about what others think about what I can or can't. I quite literally stopped listening to people who say I can't become a world-famous writer. Never give up on your dreams. You might not reach your final goal, but as long as you're working towards it, you have something to look forward to. Thing is, nothing will be as we want it to be, but at least the thought of getting towards this dream is actually satisfying enough.
If you can satisfy yourself, only then can you satisfy others. The rest will come, if you not only believe in it, but also in yourself. I'm a 24 year old virgin, soon to be 25, and I don't expect to get a girlfriend before my 30th, but even if it never really happens, I still have my dreams.
And I also truly believe that for everyone, there is someone. It's not something you can explain, but it's just so. Sure that other person will never be like you imagine that one to be. I don't expect to actually find a girl with long dark hair, blue eyes, glasses, aspirations of becoming an artist and still be a virgin by the time I meet her, or a very hot and equally intelligent redhead, or Mila Kunis, but that's life.
And it doesn't really only stay with love, it extends to the rest of your life. You can spend your entire life chasing that dream, if you don't live your life in-between chasing that dream, what use was it to chase it anyway? Some people don't give up on their dream because they don't think they can't reach it, they do it because they know that wasn't exactly what they were looking for at all, they actually found a new purpose in life.
A Dutch song once sarcastically said: "Life is what happens to you while you make other plans". I think it's true, but without surprise, what's life worth? Without the sad part, what good are the happy parts? Without strife, what is love?
Also, I really should be going to bed. I'm not thinking straight anymore and actually forgot most of what I was writing.
Especially with all those lens flares used in that movie and all, I expected nothing less from that.
King of the Hill is on.
Dreams are things that don't come true. That's why they're called dreams. So if you have aspirations, don't dream, make them reality.
It all sounds hard and maybe its easy for me to say.. because I am happily married to a beautiful woman.... but this is how I have always felt and its worked for me.... Women like confident men ... but not ones that are pretending they can tell the difference pretty fast .... they are NOT stupid.. and you can not MAKE them like you... Like the Stones say You cant always get what you want.... and we all know the rest..
I have rambled on enough... not sure if any of that made sense or was helpful at all.
beautiful.
LOL I have no clue what you are talking about I get ALL my tips from video game forums...
My advice... Be yourself and enjoy the little things in life. Trust me, it works.
Maybe someone who already pretendbroke one pretendheart should get the pretendhell out of here with his opinion. You pretendbastard.
So I wrote out an amazing and detailed philosophical reply and it didn't go through and I lost it. *throws a tantrum*
Um, the point I was going to make was that yes there are close-minded people in this world, for numerous reasons, mostly fear and insecurities. Just consider yourself lucky that you are aspiring to not be one of them. But don't get too philosophical that you give up on interacting with the masses.
I used to feel exactly like you did, and then I met new, more unique people, and it was a huge eye opener. That along with two really rough years made me realize what was really important in life. Most people lose themselves between the ages of 4 and 20 and don't get themselves back until they are 60, if they're lucky. You have to take control of how you live your life. Don't give in to the pressures of those around you. Explore, be curious, talk to people (who cares if they don't like you, or ignore you), don't compromise yourself to get someone to like you (it's not worth it and usually ends badly anyway).
You're only 22? You're young! You have plenty of time to meet new people, get married, etc. Be honest with those you meet and yourself, and just enjoy life, every day. It's such a waste not to. And don't miss out on something because of fear. When I make a decision that is hard, I usually think of what I will think about it when I'm 80 or something. Which decision will I regret and which one won't I. And then the answer is simple, even if it is the harder way to go.
And when it comes to dreams. If you expect your dreams to play out exactly how you have imagined them, then write a book about them. Otherwise think of them more as broad goals. And let yourself bend a little and change with the direction your life takes. Sometimes you can go in a lot of different tangents and directions, and in the end, wind up exactly where you want to be.
Well, that was most of what I wanted to say. Hope it makes sense.
Dreams are never meant to come true, that's why you should never stop dreaming.
The difference between aspirations and dreams is that aspirations expect you to aim for something reachable. With dreaming, you can have something that you could never in your life reach. It's because of dreams we have aspirations.
Another difference is that we follow dreams, not aspirations. We only have aspirations. Dreams always imply something you don't already have, and which are not likely you would have.
Nobody gets the girl of their dreams, unless they have a genie in a bottle. Dream jobs also don't really exist, a true dream job is a job you could only find in your dreams.
I don't think that's entirely true. I mean, the word dream has a couple of different meanings at this point. Many people say dream as a substitution for wish or goal.
Let's say a little kid says that his dream job is to become a firefighter, and then 20 years later, he is one. Didn't his dream that he had when he was a child come true?
What you might not realise now, is that this time is for you to learn many important things about yourself, the world, and reality, that there is no way you could learn otherwise.
If it was all easy, there'd be nothing to learn. Unfortunately, you've picked the hard path by choosing to work things out yourself rather than listening to other peoples' often misguided wisdom. But I can guarantee with 100% certainty that the hard path is worth it in the end.
Of course, I'm not claiming I'm at the end of it all yet, but things are starting to make sense and draw to a conclusion, in much the same way as a series of Sam and Max does... with the inevitable conclusion that it will all be thrown into chaos again next season!
Does this help at all?
Wow, I wrote my reply to OP before I'd read most of the thread ... but you pretty much summed up a large part of my life better than I did!
Oh snap
Why would you lie?
I used to watch Stargate for the same reason...until they came out with SGU.
Also, this:
Also, it sounds dumb but it's true to say that if you want to meet a certain kind of girl, you ought to go to a place where the kind of girl you're looking for would be. This is where I'd say a bar probably isn't the best choice. I met my wife at college.
You also say that you don't have many friends. I don't either, really but I still found someone. Really the best thing to do is to stop thinking about it so much and just let it happen.
http://www.telltalegames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15823
would suggest otherwise.
I don't know, I guess it depends if your goal is to have someone just to have someone, or be surrounded by people who appreciate you for who you really are.
I think that's a load of boojy boojy crap.
That might be true if you're a woman (as men tend to begin the relationship in most cases) but men shouldn't just sit around waiting for love their whole lives. Men should grab love by the horns and show it who's boss. There are plenty of people who sit around waiting for love to come their way and ended up in their forties and miserable. Not everyone can just wait, sometimes you need to man up and go out and find it.
It finds you on its own, you just fall in love, and not necessarily with the person that's most practical. I should know. Then, sure, you do something about it.
Never said you should live your life waiting for love. Live your life focusing on stuff you do have control over, that's what I'm saying.
Well I think the right woman can present her self to a guy. They will meet you half way but no one wants to get hurt. There's few women out there willing to make the first BIG move.
I think it's true that "love" can come around eventually but you aren't going to be handed their love without earning it. You can't just think you deserve it.
I agree, with both points of view but think that both need to be considered in some sort of balance. Though I'm open to suggestions. We're all just using words to express ourselves any ways. On a subconscious level most of us have a deeper understanding of things.
They might, gasp, ACTUALLY DO IT. Which would be bad.