Things I Wish Lee Could Say
Things I Wish Lee Could Say
Episode 1: A New Day
"Quick, Kenny. Just stand there like a dumbass. I'll see if I can save them both."
"Hey, asshole, it's my name on the door. You people get the hell out of my drug store."
"I saw a couple of batteries, but I couldn't pick them up for some reason."
"Bitch, how the hell do you not know how batteries work?"
"There's a bunch of energy bars lying around if anybody wants some."
"Anybody else think it's weird how skulls are made of styrofoam now?"
Episode 2: Starved for Help
"No good. Even with an ax, these four food items are completely indivisible."
"You trade food for gasoline? That sounds very sustainable."
"I don't know who's firing these arrows at us, but they keep repeating themselves."
"Okay, Jolene. Nobody needs to get hurt. Just quickly tell me what the dairy's dark secret is and I'll just walk away."
"So you came all this way to tell me to leave this place you sent me to check out without checking it out?"
"Mark, your legs! Thank God! I was sure they were going to turn out to be child molesters."
"Wait, you're using precious medical supplies to keep meat fresh? Haven't you people ever heard of canning? Every other farm in the world has been doing it for over a century."
"I let you eat it? For future reference, Larry, ham is a lot wider."
"Now you're a man of action, Kenny?"
"Clementine, do not lick this salt lick."
"Uh, Lilly, is that the gun Danny has been stroking all day?"
"They deserved what they got, Clementine. They had a really stupid plan."
"No, Clem and I are just going to stand here not drawing any conclusions about the childsized hoodie found in a station wagon left running."
Episode 3: The Long Road Ahead
"Zombie with helmet... must... plant... magnet!"
"Okay, Lilly. I'll look into which probably Ben is stealing supplies."
"Everybody needs to calm the hell down! Walkers can smell drama!"
"Banaaaaaaaaangngngngng!"
"This pencil was keeping Lilly's hands bound!"
"Well, she got the RV, but at least she didn't get any redemption."
"Is the bottle of water also up in your head, because I took that, too."
"Chuck, there is no way in hell I was gone long enough for you to have introduced yourself to everybody else and handed out candy."
"My plan, if I lost Clementine, was to just let the Walkers have me, fuck everything. But yeah, if you want to go ahead with this boat plan, what the hell? It was your family."
Ben: "It was all my..."
Lee: "Fault, yes I know. Shut up."
"So, why are you out here alone, Chuck? Anything to do with Megan's Law? No offense, I've been asking everybody."
"Yeah, 'finish'. The word that popped into my head was 'backwash' for some reason."
"I'm glad Clementine has another unidentifiably ethnic female to talk to."
Lee: "What did we learn?"
Clementine: "Not to be afraid?"
Lee: "What? No. We learned that Walkers don't make noise until you can see them. You should be scared shitless."
Episode 4: Around Every Corner
"Hmmm. I wonder why I'm going to have to dig up this shallow grave later. I guess I better look around."
"Nothing in this fountain. I'm not even going to look at this unlocked shed."
"The first floor is wellboarded up against Walkers. The second floor, well, be on the lookout for Flyers."
"I'm not desperate enough to eat this dog food. I'll save it for later tonight."
"I don't know, Clem. What could possibly be in this small grave next to an empty dog house?"
"Anybody want to try cleaning Omid's wound with this whiskey I found? Nobody? Thought I'd ask."
"I didn't get a good enough look to tell if it was a man or woman. Kidding, it was obviously a guy in a ragged coat and slacks sporting a greasy child molester haircut."
"Ben, I need you to stay here because you suck. I mean, to look after Clementine."
"Clementine! Did you leave Ben alone with useful people?"
"Molly? Oh, nothing. I've just been calling you Parkour Ninja Bitch in my head, but if you prefer 'Molly'..."
"Everybody get in the school. And try not to say 'zombie'."
"He said the boss required him to videotape all his medical appointments. That's a sustainable plan. Good thing he also recorded all the appointments he was keeping from his boss."
Lee: "Thanks for confiding your sad past, Molly, though I guessed the gist of it from the porcelain vulnerability softly shining through your tearanddust stained gossamer veil of cynicism, and from the careless prominence of the trappings of a lost girlhood in your boyish haircut."
Molly: "Are you saying I'm a cliche?"
Lee: "Let's get out of here and see if we can't find you a nose ring."
"Everybody, I have an announcement to make. Clementine has vanished, I got bitten, and I just wish one of you motherfuckers would talk some shit to Lee Everett right now. How about you, Moustache? Say one more goddamned word about a boat and see what happens. You, Letter Jacket? How about you two grownups from Sesame Street?"
Episode 5: No Time Left
"Hold on, DJ Father-of-the-Year, what the hell do you mean you lost your son in the woods? You want to flesh that story out before you lecture me about taking care of a kid?"
"You left your car running full of supplies in the middle of the road while you did what? I can't wait to hear the rest of this plan by the master caretaker."
"If you loved your daughter so much, how come you don't have her head in a bowling bag?"
"Your evil plan doesn't make any sense. Is your last name St. John?"
"Maybe I don't know Clem's birthday. But at least I know she hears more than she repeats, understands more than you tell her and makes up her own mind what she's going to do next. If you think you're going to fool her a second goddamed time, you got a lot more to learn than her motherfucking birthday."
[Turns out, I had misremembered the Stranger wearing a sport coat. Text has been edited to reflect this.]
Comments
rip lee he was a badass
Beautiful.
this is comedy gold
I loved this.
Love this!
Great job on this list.
Points for the Plants vs Zombies reference.
You should do
Things I Wish Clementine Could Say
shouldn't it be done after season 2?
'How would finding a boat actually solve anything?'
"Maybe I don't know Clem's birthday. But at least I know she hears more than she repeats, understands more than you tell her and makes up her own mind what she's going to do next. If you think you're going to fool her a second goddamed time, you got a lot more to learn than her motherfucking birthday."
Fucking boss. I wish they literally put this IG.
Something I wish he would have said in Ep 5: "You know, I think I'm going to be alright."
"The first floor is wellboarded up against Walkers. The second floor, well, be on the lookout for Flyers."
Flyers? The end is nigh ;_;
Episode 1 :
"Oh sure, you can have the gun, but last time I checked suicide wasn't that christian either... Never mind, just sayin'. God bless you !"
Episode 2 :
"Chomp... chomp... Yummm... You know what would be great with that meat, Mrs St John ? Some fava beans and a nice chianti... sssslurp"
"I'm so sorry Lilly... What saddens me the most is that your father died when I was finally getting to understand him. By the end I could definitely tell what was going through his head."
Dayum, that was good. Keep the lulz coming in Season 2.
The last one you posted was awesome. Good job.
tears drain down my eyes...
R.I.P. Lee. You've touched our hearts and your spirit will keep on living.
STRANGER: Do you know who I am?
LEE: Fuck you, give me Clementine.
STRANGER: I was the guy who -
LEE: Fuck you, give me Clementine.
STRANGER: Hey, your damn group stole all my -
LEE: Fuck you, give me Clementine.
STRANGER: I can just SHOOT you, you asshole!
LEE: Then shoot me or give me Clementine. Either way, fuck you.
Slow clap
This is... beyond awesome.
The walkers can smell drama line had me in tears! Oh wow, amazing work!
Too long, but at the end of Episode 1, when Larry tries to threaten Lee with exposing his past to the others:
"Alright. This is a good plan, Larry.
HEY EVERYBODY. Listen up. Before this all started, I was on my way to prison for killing a state senator I caught in bed with my wife. I'm sorry I did it and I promise I will not be a danger to the group, but I thought you all should know, since Larry just tried to blackmail me with it. You should also know that Larry, who was earlier trying to get a child thrown to the walkers without even knowing if he was really bitten, punched me in the face on the way out of the pharmacy in an attempt to murder me. Clementine and Kenny will tell you about it, if you need confirmation.
Okay, old man. Your move."
Speaking of this, I'm still unsure if there was actually a way to tell the group what you did. I soothed it out with Kenny, but I personally wanted to tell everyone what happened. Was there a way to do it? I don't remember any chance to do so.
I'm not sure if it's possible with Doug, but it's very possible with Carley, since she knows who you are as well. At the start of Episode 3, she suggests you might want to tell the rest of the group what you did, after which you can walk around and tell whoever you like that you were on your way to prison when this all started, or point blank tell them you killed someone. It changes their reactions a bit when Lilly reveals it to them later anyway.
Awesome list, dude! But you forgot Lee's last words: "I love you" instead of "I'll miss you".
I so wish that happened!!!
I know right.
The Episode 1 thing bugged me, too. Jesus, lady, were you never told the Christian position on suicide?
Thanks. Yeah, my only playthroughs have been with Doug, so I guess I can't do anything about it. I played nice generally, though, so nobody really minded. Plus, since Lee is dead now, I guess there wont be much of a difference.
Cheers.
Ep. 1
"There is a battery in my front pocket, Carley. Reach it."
Ep. 2
"Don't eat it, Clem! I gave you an apple. You owe me something."
Ep. 3
"We don't have to stop. Let's just push him out of the train."
Ep. 4
"You're not coming with us, Bree. You'll get stuck in a manhole."
Ep. 5
"Clementine, push that corpse next to me. I still can kick."
you forgot one. "REALLY KENNY!?? after ive been helping you and your family and agreeing with you about every single thing, you leave me to get eaten by walkers because I didn't have my head up your ass on one petty decision!??? FUCK YOU GO SUCK WALKER DICK YOU BACKSTABBING SCUMBAG!!!!!!"
Feel better?
In Episode 3, I wanted an option to beat the shit outta Ben on the train, left and a right to the face.
lmao yes, actually a little bit.
to Christa: "so are you pregnant or what?"
to Ben after he leaves Clem to die in the street in episode 4(?): " * BANG * " then Ben slumps over with gunshot wound to the dead.
There is a way to confront Chirsta about her pregnancy. If you tell her "you guys would be great for her" after Kenny dies, you have the option to say "Are you okay?" Or "What's going on with you". If Kenny went with Ben, Lee will mention her chugging the alcohol in the attic. If Kenny saved Christa, he will say "You know why Kenny did that, right" and "Kenny didn't die for 'its nothing'".
that could mean anything though. I did that on my last playthrough and don't remember that being said, but either way i don't think that would have anything to do with her being pregnant. I say that because it's right after Christa and Omid find out they are about to have to care for Clem, and they were probably just talking about how they have to stay alive for her so she isn't left alone.
Telltale, hire this man!
I wish they had this as an option!
HAHAHAHAHA! I REALLY WISH THEY HAD THIS!